“Drip, drip.”
The sound of metal instruments was amplified endlessly in the deathly silent ward, each drop striking Meng Xue Yan’s already frayed nerves.
Only one sensation remained throughout his entire body: pain.
The moment his memories returned, the violent headache nearly suffocated him. It wasn’t just the agony of his brain feeling crushed and reassembled it was an excruciating, tearing pain that surged from the deepest recesses of his heart.
How dare Meng Jin…
The thoughts that followed were too filthy to even entertain, yet Meng Jin had truly, in the most direct and undeniable way, carved his mark onto him.
Even during their most painful, most oppressive moments, they had never crossed that line.
And now? Taking advantage of his amnesia, fabricating lies of love, and then, driven by that ridiculous possessiveness and jealousy he had stripped him bare, leaving no room for retreat.
Meng Xue Yan felt like a complete joke deceived and toyed with by the brother he had relied on since childhood, all while being coaxed into uttering those unspeakable words of affection.
Little wife.
How utterly disgusting.
His stomach convulsed violently, an unbearable sensation surging up his throat. He wanted to vomit to purge from his body every touch, every moment of tenderness, every ridiculous sweet nothing spoken during his amnesia.
“Gag!”
His body reacted before his mind could. After lying unconscious for two days and a night, the first thing he did upon opening his eyes was lean over the bedside, retching violently.
His empty stomach contracted rapidly, spasming, but nothing came out only bitter bile rose from the depths, stinging his cheeks.
His vision blurred instantly with involuntary tears, yet he clearly saw Meng Jin rushing toward him.
His stomach churned even more fiercely, the retching growing more intense. He didn’t spare Meng Jin a single glance, his face deathly pale.
“Jiao… Xue Yan!”
Meng Jin had stood by the window in the ward for as long as Meng Xue Yan had been unconscious. Even when his legs grew numb, he couldn’t bring himself to move an inch.
This day had finally come the sword of Damocles hanging over his head had mercilessly struck, and the assassin was none other than himself. He had no one else to blame.
But at least the situation now was better than before. They had shared six months of love. It felt as though he held the final bargaining chip at least they had loved each other, and those beautiful moments couldn’t have been entirely false.
Hearing the movement from the hospital bed, he sprang into action like a wind-up toy. But having stood still for too long, his legs were numb, and he stumbled, half-kneeling before Meng Xue Yan, reaching out with a tissue to wipe the corner of his mouth.
“Don’t touch me!”
Meng Xue Yan mustered all his strength to swat the hand away, his voice hoarse from retching. He lifted his head, his bloodshot eyes fixed on Meng Jin with a piercing glare. Gone was the dependency and affection only thick hatred and despair remained.
“Get out!”
Those three words drained the last of his strength. He collapsed back onto the bed, his shoulders trembling uncontrollably from the overwhelming emotions and the relentless retching. He didn’t look at Meng Jin again.
Meng Jin froze in place, his outstretched hand suspended mid-air. He stared at Meng Xue Yan’s icy expression, the undisguised disgust on his face, and for a moment, he saw a reflection of himself in it.
His gaze shifted, landing on the pale nape of Meng Xue Yan’s neck, where the ambiguous red marks he had left earlier still lingered, not yet faded. It felt like a lifetime ago just moments before, they had been fine, inseparable. Now, his heart felt as if gripped by an invisible hand, squeezing so tightly that his breath caught. He took a slight step back.
Meng Jin strode forward, placing both hands on the railing of the hospital bed. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he struggled to speak through a dry throat. “Xue Yan, I know you think what we’re doing is wrong because of your family’s concerns.”
“You say you don’t love me, but over these past months, you clearly did love me, didn’t you?”
After saying this, he stared intently at Meng Xue Yan, as if searching for even a trace of reluctance a lifeline to cling to, a chance to turn things around. But there was none. On his face were expressions of disgust, disdain, and mockery, but no love. Even the faint respect and admiration he had once held for his older brother had vanished.
Finally, Meng Xue Yan turned his head, meeting Meng Jin’s gaze. His cold brow seemed shrouded in a blizzard, a sneer curling at the corner of his mouth. “For these past months, I’ve just been a doll, a puppet you crafted. That wasn’t me at all.”
“You’re disgusting. Listen clearly I hate you! How could I possibly love a pervert who lusts after his own brother? Are you dreaming, Meng Jin?”
Hah!
Dreaming? Meng Jin let out a low laugh, his heart bleeding in pain. Yes, he had been dreaming. These past days had been like a dream, and now he had woken up.
Meng Xue Yan shattered his last illusion. A flicker of obsession and ruthlessness ignited in Meng Jin’s eyes. He reached out, gripping Meng Xue Yan’s chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. His words were deliberate, leaving no room for rebuttal, his voice carrying an overwhelming pressure tinged with a hint of madness. “Very well, darling. You’re absolutely right I am a pervert.”
“You’d better fall in love with this pervert. Otherwise, when we get intimate again, you’ll only feel more disgusted and tormented.”
With a sigh, his smile widened. “You know? Falling in love with me would be best for both of us.”
Unrepentant, Meng Xue Yan’s chest heaved with anger. He jerked his head away, shaking off Meng Jin’s fingers, then abruptly raised his hand and slapped Meng Jin hard across the face.
Slap!
The crisp sound of the slap echoed through the room. He had used all his strength, and as the force recoiled, his palm burned with pain, his fingertips tingling.
In that moment, rage took over. But after the anger came a subtle panic. The person he had struck was the brother he had admired and revered since childhood. Something inside him seemed to shatter, and a subconscious realization told him he could no longer simply see Meng Jin as his brother.
Suppressing the strange feeling in his heart, Meng Xue Yan gritted his teeth and spat out the words, “Meng Jin, don’t go too far!”
Meng Jin’s head was turned by the force of the slap, a vivid handprint now visible on his cheek. He chuckled softly, reaching up to touch the corner of his mouth, where a sharp pain throbbed. “Too far? If I’m already a pervert, what does it matter if I go too far? It’ll only get worse from here.”
Click!
Just as the tension in the air grew unbearable, the attending physician and others filed into the room, breaking the suffocating atmosphere and allowing the air to flow once more. It also gave those inside a chance to catch their breath.
Meng Xue Yan had regained some of his composure by now. Recalling the ship he had been on when it struck an iceberg and the screams of everyone still echoing in his ears, his heart pounded fiercely. Meng Jin had risked his life to save him.
His fingers curled slightly, as if the numbness hadn’t fully faded a hatred not absolute, a love not complete.
He answered the doctor’s questions mechanically, and after what felt like an eternity, the room fell silent once more.
Meng Jin followed the doctor to the outer room. The doctor, who had known him for a long time like a friend, ignored the injuries on his face and got straight to the point. “Xue Yan, how is he?”
The doctor handed him the scan and pointed to a specific area, looking concerned. “There’s still a small blood clot here. If he suffers another impact, he could lose his memory again, and it would also be life-threatening. It’s pressing on a nerve, and surgery is too risky.”
“For now, there’s no major impact, but remember to bring him for regular check-ups.”
After speaking, he glanced at the side of Meng Jin’s face, a flicker of shock in his eyes. Suppressing his curiosity, he continued, “Wait a moment, I’ll have a nurse bring you some ointment. Remember to apply it.”
Who would have thought that the unfeeling, ruthless Boss Meng would have a day like this? Truly, there’s always someone who can humble you.
When Meng Jin returned to the ward, he was carrying a tray of food, which he placed on the small table. He pursed his lips, looking at the person lying on the hospital bed with closed eyes and fluttering eyelashes, understanding dawning in his heart.
He deliberately sat by the bedside, took Meng Xue Yan’s hand, and gently pressed it against his cheek. His voice was soft, just loud enough for both of them to hear, calm and measured, as if he were dissecting himself, laying his heart bare and offering it with both hands. “Xue Yan, what should I do?”
“Feelings… I can’t control my heart. It was my fault to deceive you, but I truly had no other choice.”
“You hate me, you despise me, you want to leave. If you go, what should I do? I thought, here, with no one else, just the two of us, we could love freely. I would clear away all obstacles.”
“Just say you love me.”
“I really have no other way, but I can’t let you go. Hate me, hit me I won’t let go.”
Listening to Meng Jin’s words, Meng Xue Yan held his breath, tears uncontrollably rolling into the pillow. Did he love Meng Jin?
He couldn’t. Meng Jin had once played the role of a “father” in his life, so he couldn’t. It was wrong.
He didn’t speak, nor did he open his eyes. He simply withdrew his hand from Meng Jin’s grasp, his meaning clear.
Meng Jin looked at his empty hand and let out a low chuckle, though his eyes grew colder. Worried that his presence would keep Meng Xue Yan from getting up to eat, he stood and went to the adjoining room to handle work documents.
As soon as he left, Meng Xue Yan opened his eyes, staring aimlessly at the ceiling, motionless until his stomach growled. Only then did he glance at the small dining table, where a food warmer held all his favorite dishes.
Perhaps because the food had been sitting for too long, it tasted awful. He forced himself to eat, and by the time he finished, he had calmed down. Thinking he had made his stance clear, he went to the adjoining room to find Meng Jin.
Only then did he take a proper look at Meng Jin. His formal suit was slightly wrinkled, and beneath his deep-set eyes were dark, shadowy circles. Even as he lowered his head to review documents, the commanding presence around him remained unmistakable.
Meng Xue Yan did not enter. Instead, he stood at the doorway, gazing from a distance, his fingers gripping the door handle tightly as he said in a low voice, “Give me back my phone. I want to go home.”
Meng Jin’s fingers, holding the fountain pen, paused. He lifted his gaze to Meng Xue Yan, his eyes filled with an indescribable, ambiguous emotion only a trace of pity was clearly visible. “Darling, I’ve already made myself very clear.”
“If you didn’t understand, I’ll say it again. Until you fall in love with me, you’re not going anywhere. Understand?”
“What do you mean?” Meng Xue Yan’s face instantly turned cold, his fingertips whitening as he gripped the door handle, his voice rising sharply.
Meng Jin did not repeat himself. Instead, he lowered his head again to look at the documents.
Fury surged through Meng Xue Yan once more. He turned to leave the hospital room, but as he pushed the door open, he saw the bodyguard standing outside.
Enraged to the extreme, his brows and eyes flushed crimson with anger, Meng Xue Yan turned around to see Meng Jin approaching. He reached out, grabbed Meng Jin’s collar, and forced his neck down. “Meng Jin, don’t push me too far.”
Push him too far?
Meng Jin neither confirmed nor denied it. He had played the role of the understanding, gentle person for so long that he had almost forgotten his true nature.
He raised his hand and grasped Meng Xue Yan’s wrist, effortlessly restraining him. “What kind of person I am don’t you know, darling? Don’t waste your energy.”
After saying this, Meng Jin wanted to tidy the disheveled strands of hair on Meng Xue Yan’s forehead, but Meng Xue Yan turned his head away to avoid the touch. Meng Jin’s fingers paused for a moment, rubbing lightly. He didn’t push any further, letting it go.
Though his phone was taken, his movements weren’t restricted. Yet, no matter where he went even to the restroom someone followed him.
A cold smile played on Meng Xue Yan’s lips. He didn’t attempt to escape. Where could he possibly run? Without his ID or passport, if Meng Jin had the nerve, he could keep him under control for a lifetime.
He stayed in the hospital for a week, only allowed to leave once he was completely recovered. The number of words he had exchanged with Meng Jin during those days could be counted on one hand.
Casually slipping on the clothes Meng Jin had prepared for him, he lifted his eyes, his gaze calm and unreadable. “Let’s go.”
As if oblivious to Meng Xue Yan’s cold expression, Meng Jin wrapped an arm around him and took his hand, leading him out of the hospital room without room for refusal.
Meng Xue Yan tried to shake him off twice but failed. Meng Jin always knew how to provoke his emotions effortlessly. Sitting in the car, Meng Xue Yan leaned against the window, bored, and watched the scenery outside. But the further the car drove, the more unfamiliar the route became.
This was definitely not the way to his old home!
A sense of foreboding rose in his heart, and a sudden suspicion flashed through his mind. He sat up abruptly and looked at Meng Jin. “Where are you taking me?”
Meng Jin didn’t answer the question. Instead, he curved his lips into a smile, his low voice resonating slowly. “Willing to talk to me now?”
Meng Xue Yan remained silent, simply staring at Meng Jin. Given Meng Jin’s past actions, he had no choice but to stay on high alert. “Where are we going?”
“Do you have a choice in where we’re going, darling?” Meng Jin crossed his legs, his brow slightly raised, not keeping him in suspense for too long. “We’re going home.”
The car window was cracked open slightly, and the cold wind from outside swept through the gap, brushing against Meng Xue Yan’s face. It felt as if his entire body had been plunged into an icy abyss.
He lifted his thin eyelids without speaking, silently noting the landmarks outside the window. But a layer of snow covered everything, and the driver was going fast, taking many twists and turns, making it difficult to recognize anything.
Before long, they stopped in front of a rather secluded villa, unusually quiet due to the lack of people.
As soon as Meng Xue Yan stepped out of the car, he saw the large, glaring red double happiness character pasted on the door. He halted, refusing to go inside. “What does this mean?”
“Exactly what you see,” Meng Qingye replied, stopping as well. He handed his coat to a servant and reached out to touch the character, smearing his fingers with red and gold dust. “We’re in a relationship now. It wouldn’t be out of place to skip straight to the wedding night.”
Just when he thought Meng Jin couldn’t possibly be more shameless, Meng Jin always managed to prove him wrong.
Looking at the extravagantly decorated room, Meng Xue Yan felt nothing but a creeping dread, as if he had stepped into the peak of Chinese horror.
He didn’t speak, instead surveying the surroundings. There were hardly any servants in sight, not even a trace of the butler. This place didn’t feel like a home it felt like a cage, a prison. He voiced his thoughts aloud. “Are you planning to imprison me?”
Meng Jin pressed his red-and-gold-stained thumb against Meng Xue Yan’s lips, rubbing it forcefully as if applying lipstick. Before he could speak, Meng Xue Yan suddenly bent over, covering his mouth with his hand, retching uncontrollably.
Meng Xue Yan detested this gesture from Meng Jin it made him physically ill. Especially since, not long ago, he had used his mouth to relieve Meng Jin.
He retched until his body trembled uncontrollably, his vision blurring, barely able to stand.
Meng Jin had lost count of how many times Meng Xue Yan had vomited in front of him. A vein throbbed at his temple, straining his already fragile, nearly shattered composure.
“Is it really that disgusting?” He struggled to suppress the fury within him, but his trembling fingers betrayed the deep-seated panic lurking in his subconscious. He gripped Meng Xue Yan’s shoulders, hunched from retching. “Does being near me really make you suffer this much?”
Meng Xue Yan let out a low, bitter laugh but said nothing. Instead, he lifted his head, his eyes reddened from vomiting, and fixed Meng Jin with a lazy, malicious gaze.
Sometimes, a look could be more devastating than any venomous words.
Meng Jin tried to force his stiff lips into his usual, controlled smile but failed. The thread of rationality in his mind finally snapped with an audible “snap.”
He seized Meng Xue Yan’s wrist without a word, dragging him forcefully into the room. With his other hand, he roughly tore off the expensive tie around his neck and tossed it carelessly to the floor.
Meng Xue Yan’s eyelids twitched nervously, his unease magnifying infinitely. His body trembled even more violently as he realized what Meng Jin intended to do. He began to struggle fiercely, a flicker of regret surfacing in his mind he shouldn’t have provoked him.
This madman! Lunatic! Pervert!
“Meng Jin! Let go of me!”
Meng Jin ignored his struggles entirely. With a loud “bang,” the door was kicked shut, cutting them off from the outside world.
The room had been prepared in advance, adorned entirely in bright red decorations. Sunlight filtered through the window curtains, resting softly on the quilt, but Meng Xue Yan felt a chill so deep it made him shiver.
Meng Xue Yan struggled desperately, yet could not break free from Meng Jin’s restraint. He suddenly lowered his head and bit down on the back of Meng Jin’s hand, using all his strength. Within seconds, he tasted the metallic tang of blood.
Meng Jin did not even furrow his brow, his eyes unreadable as he pushed the man onto the bed.
For a moment, the world spun, and stars danced before his eyes. In the brief moment he gasped for breath, the curtains automatically closed, plunging the room into darkness. Then, Meng Jin pressed down on top of him.
“Disgusting?” Meng Jin effortlessly pinned him to the bed, toying with the word before casually tossing out, “Once you get used to it, it won’t be disgusting anymore.”
“Meng Jin! If you’re sick, just mmph ”
Meng Xue Yan used every ounce of his strength to push and strike at Meng Jin, but his hands were effortlessly restrained with a single hand and raised above his head. A sharp pain shot through his lips, and the taste of blood instantly filled his mouth.
This was not a kiss it was a savage bite, Meng Jin deliberately tormenting him.
Meng Xue Yan was completely pinned down, with no chance to resist. He clenched his teeth, refusing to let Meng Jin advance any further.
Meng Jin tilted his head back slightly, letting out a low chuckle from his throat. With his free hand, he gripped Meng Xue Yan’s chin, and in an instant, the gates were breached, the city conquered.
“Get off ”
Meng Xue Yan bit down hard, the taste of blood growing even stronger in his mouth. The man before him merely paused for a moment before intensifying his assault.
Yes, he had guessed correctly Meng Jin was indeed doing this on purpose. He wanted Meng Xue Yan to feel the pain. He himself had been driven nearly mad, so why not let Meng Xue Yan taste the torment he endured every day? Why wouldn’t he admit it? Why wouldn’t he love him? What had he done wrong?
What he hated most was that Meng Xue Yan had reduced him over the past half-year to nothing more than a puppet on strings.
He hated it to the core wished he could bite him to death, wished he could strangle him, then follow him in death. But he couldn’t. All he could do was assert his dominance in this way.
He didn’t know how much time had passed when he suddenly felt a dampness in his palm. Lifting his gaze, he saw the man beneath him already drenched in tears. Under the faint glow of the light, the tears shimmered brightly, flooding the pond in his heart, breaching its banks, leaving everything in disarray.
Meng Jin snapped back to reality but refused to let go. He buried his face in Meng Xue Yan’s neck, feeling the pulse of his veins. His lips pressed close, teeth resting against the skin, unmoving for a long time.
Meng Xue Yan remained expressionless, as if all his tears had been spent. No matter what Meng Jin did, he gave no reaction this was his final line of defense.
Before long, he felt a warm dampness on his neck, followed by a sharp pain in his shoulder. His heart skipped a beat, and his fingers unconsciously clenched. Oh, so Meng Jin was crying too. He could also feel sorrow, could also shed tears?
Today was actually a rare, beautiful day. The sun hung high outside, yet the light was completely blocked by the curtains, not a single ray allowed to enter.
Meng Xue Yan thought, how much warmth could the winter sun truly bring? It was still bone-chillingly cold.
In the room, aside from the sound of breathing, there was no other noise only deathly silence, stillness, and suffocating pressure.
He lay motionless, staring blankly at the ceiling, his gaze fixed on the streamers on the wall. He didn’t even notice when Meng Jin released his bite or when he finally left.
When he came to his senses, he found himself alone in the room. The atmosphere had not improved, no different from before, but the pain he hadn’t felt earlier now struck him sharply. A sharp, stinging ache in his shoulder surged through his mind, his heart, and every corner of his body.
It hurt so much.
Meng Xue Yan turned onto his side, curling himself into a ball. Though the room wasn’t cold, his hands and feet felt icy. Even under the covers, he couldn’t stop trembling.
Tormented both physically and mentally, Meng Xue Yan could no longer hold back his quiet sobs. The blanket over him rose and fell with his uneven breaths, unable to settle for a long time.