"A storm, General?" Wen Yu squeaked, his voice pitching up into a thin, agonizingly frail thread of sound as he desperately tried to force his frozen vocal cords to function.
He pressed his back so hard against the edge of the mahogany side table that the heavy wood creaked in protest. Xie Yan’s thumb was still resting lightly against his jaw, its rough, calloused warmth burning like an iron brand against his skin, while those dark, unblinking eyes held him completely pinned in place.
[DID HE SAY MIND?! DID HE SAY STORM?!] Wen Yu’s internal broadcast went into a full-scale, nuclear meltdown, firing off high-voltage mental panic straight into Xie Yan’s brain like a broken telegraph key. [Is he poetic?! Is he just using a fancy martial arts metaphor for being nervous?! Or has this man been listening to my unhinged commentary on his chest muscles and plot pacing this ENTIRE TIME?! Think, Wen Yu, think! If he could read my mind, he would have thrown me into the imperial dungeon the second I called his northern military strategy an overused webnovel trope!]
Xie Yan smoothly adjusted his posture, the subtle smirk on his lips softening into a look of calm, effortless innocence that would have fooled an imperial judge.
"I refer to your restless heart, my frantic little consort," Xie Yan clarified in a low, purring tone, seamlessly weaving his retreat before his spouse could completely lose his mind. "You stand before me looking as timid as a newborn rabbit, yet your pulse beats against my thumb like a war drum in the middle of a thunderstorm. Are you truly so terrified of sitting alone with me in my study?"
Wen Yu let out a long, shuddering breath, his entire body deflating in sheer, agonizing relief as the suffocating tension in the room broke apart.
[OH, THANK THE MODERN PUBLISHING GODS!] Wen Yu collapsed internally, his mental persona clutching its chest and sliding down a wall in utter emotional exhaustion. [It was just a poetic metaphor! It was a heart rate reference! For three entire seconds, my soul packed its bags, signed a resignation letter, and prepared to enter the reincarnation queue! I need to stop overanalyzing every single sentence this man utters before I give myself a literal heart attack at twenty-four!]
"This... this humble one is merely overwhelmed by the General’s immense favor," Wen Yu stammered out loud, quickly dropping his eyes demurely to the floor while fluttering his eyelashes with practiced, delicate fragility. "I am unaccustomed to such profound kindness."
"Is that so?" Xie Yan murmured, his thumb giving Wen Yu’s jaw one final, lingering caress before he finally stepped back, granting his consort three feet of blessed breathing room. "Then you had best get used to it quickly. Sleep well, Wen Yu. Tomorrow will bring its own challenges."
The challenge arrived at the crack of dawn, before the morning fog had even lifted from the gravel courtyards of the general’s estate.
Wen Yu was jolted awake not by the gentle chime of the courtyard bell, but by the chaotic, loud stamping of heavy boots against the wooden floorboards outside his private chambers. He barely had time to throw on a slate-grey robe and tie his silk sash before the double doors of the main reception hall were thrown open with a harsh, echoing bang.
Standing in the center of the hall was a group of seven men dressed in the official, embroidered crimson robes of the Imperial Audit Ministry. At their head stood a short, round man with a thin, oily mustache and a pair of small, rat-like eyes that swept over the estate’s polished pillars with open contempt.
Behind them, looking remarkably satisfied with himself while leaning against a carved stone pillar near the garden gate, was Marquis Vane.
"What is the meaning of this intrusion at such an hour?!" Head Housekeeper Lin bellowed, his face turning an alarming shade of purple as he blocked the doorway with three heavy estate guards. "This is the residence of Supreme General Xie! Entering without an imperial summons is a severe violation of military decorum!"
"We carry the seal of the Prime Minister and the Imperial Treasury Council, old man!" the head auditor sneered, pulling a heavy, gold-stamped scroll from his wide sleeve and snapping it open in the air. "We have received formal reports that the general’s household has been illegally siphoning northern military rations and laundering treasury bullion through private domestic accounts! By imperial decree, all estate ledgers are to be seized and audited immediately!"
From the shadows of the side corridor, Wen Yu leaned against a timber pillar, his editor eyes narrowing as he took in the entire scene.
[Oh, look who decided to launch a desperate counter-attack!] Wen Yu sneered internally, his mental voice instantly shifting from sleepy confusion to sharp, analytical combat readiness. [Marquis Vane got humiliated at the banquet, failed his stupid etiquette trap with Tutor Lin, and realized Xie Yan is closing in on his supply fraud scheme. So what does he do? He hires corrupt treasury auditors to stage a surprise tax audit on the estate! It’s the classic ’frame the main character for embezzlement before he can file the indictment’ trope!]
"Accusing the General of embezzlement?" Housekeeper Lin gasped, his voice trembling with genuine horror. "That is slander! Our ledgers are managed strictly according to northern military standards!"
"Are they?" Marquis Vane chimed in, stepping forward from the garden gate with a slow, arrogant smirk playing on his pale lips. He cast a sharp, malicious glance directly toward the corridor where Wen Yu was standing. "I hear the general recently placed all domestic financial accounts into the hands of his new consort, a low-born, uneducated scullery maid who wouldn’t know the difference between a tax credit and a copper coin. Who knows what kind of provincial greed has infected this noble estate since he arrived?"
The surrounding household servants gasped, exchanging panicked, terrified glances.
"We are ruined..." a young maid near the back wall whimpered softly, clutching her apron in sheer terror. "The previous quartermaster left the domestic ledgers in complete chaos when he was dismissed three months ago! Half the grain receipts are missing, and the tax records from the eastern properties haven’t been reconciled in years! If they inspect those books today, they’ll find thousands of silver taels unaccounted for!"
The panic spread through the staff like wildfire, whispers of terror filling the grand hall as the auditors began marching toward the estate archive room with heavy, unyielding steps.
[Hold on a second,] Wen Yu’s mind clicked into gear, his modern editorial brain frantically running through the logistical data. [The previous quartermaster left three months ago? The guy who was secretly working on Marquis Vane’s payroll?! THAT’S THE TRAP! The old quartermaster intentionally cooked the estate books before he left so that Vane could drop a surprise audit on us whenever he wanted! If those ledgers are inspected in their current state, the missing funds will be pinned entirely on Xie Yan!]
"Stand aside, servants!" the head auditor commanded, waving his hand dismissively toward the panicked staff. "Bring out every ledger from the past five years, or we shall declare this entire estate in contempt of the Imperial Treasury!"
"I am afraid that will not be necessary, Auditor Chen," a smooth, ice-cold voice echoed from the top of the central staircase.
The entire hall fell dead silent.
Xie Yan descended the wide wooden steps with slow, measured grace. He was fully clad in his heavy, dark leather military tunic, his long black cloak trailing behind him like a storm cloud. His face was entirely devoid of emotion, but his dark, lethal eyes swept over the crimson-robed auditors with a quiet, terrifying pressure that made the head auditor instinctively take a step back.
"General Xie," Auditor Chen stammered, quickly adjusting his tall official hat while trying to maintain his arrogant posture. "We... we are merely executing a lawful imperial audit based on official reports of financial irregularities within your domestic accounts—"
"Financial irregularities?" Xie Yan interrupted softly, stopping at the base of the stairs and resting his hand casually on the hilt of his sword. He turned his head slightly, his gaze shifting toward the side corridor. "Consort Wen. Step forward."
Wen Yu swallowed hard, stepping out from the shadows into the center of the grand hall. He bowed his head, falling into his breathy, timid act seamlessly for the audience. "This... this humble one is here, General."
"Auditor Chen claims our domestic ledgers are in complete disarray due to your incompetence," Xie Yan said, his voice carrying clearly across the vast room, though a subtle, wicked glint sparked in the depths of his eyes. "Tell me... are the estate accounts unprepared for an inspection?"
[UNPREPARED?!] Wen Yu’s internal stream erupted into a glorious, unhinged war cry, broadcasting straight into Xie Yan’s head with high-octane editorial fury. [PLEASE! I spent three years dealing with freelance writers who submitted expenses on greasy napkin receipts! I spent last night organizing three years of high-level military fraud in my sleep! These corrupt middle-management bureaucrats think they can scare me with a messy ledger trap?! I am going to audit these tax inspectors into financial bankruptcy!]
"This humble one would never dare neglect the General’s household," Wen Yu said aloud, raising his head and offering a remarkably sweet, fragile, and utterly terrifying smile toward Marquis Vane and the auditors. "In fact, I have already audited, reconciled, and cross-indexed every single domestic ledger from the past five years. Please... step into the study, gentlemen. I would be delighted to walk you through the math."