1: Perishing
The season was Jingzhe, the Awakening of Insects. The sky stretched vast and dark, heavy with the promise of rain.
Suddenly, a flash of silver light pierced through the window of the ministerial residence’s main hall, momentarily illuminating the slender figure kneeling on the floor. Low, muffled sobs came from within, her back trembling slightly with each one.
Qiao Shilian’s face was streaked with tears, the corners of her eyes-tinged red. Clutching at the skirts of the woman before her, she choked out her words, “Mother… Lian’er has been wronged… Lian’er would never, ever do anything to tarnish her own reputation…”
Madam Qiao looked down at her daughter’s tear-stained, pitiful face, her heart torn between pity and fury. “Last night, so many people saw you… saw you behaving improperly with a guard at the Princess’s residence… You, you…” She let out a heavy sigh, tears welling in her own eyes, yet her voice remained firm. “You are the future Crown Princess! To have your purity questioned even before the marriage is complete… if His Highness the Crown Prince pursues this and it reaches the emperor, the entire Prime Minister’s household will suffer disaster! How can I protect you?”
Even with her deep maternal love, at this moment, due to Qiao Shilian’s single lapse, the Prime Minister’s residence was thrust into the eye of the storm. For the Crown Princess-to-be to engage in an illicit affair before her wedding was to show contempt for the imperial family and betray the emperor’s favor—a crime punishable by the execution of one’s entire clan.
“But this is all completely unfounded!” Qiao Shilian’s voice shook with indignation, fresh tears overflowing from her already damp eyes.
She had uttered this denial a thousand times.
She was the one who had been wronged, yet no matter how sore and blurred her eyes became from crying, no one believed her.
She felt utterly aggrieved.
She didn’t even know what that guard looked like, nor his name. How could there have been any ‘improper behavior’?
Yesterday at the Princess’s residence, after the evening banquet ended under a clear moon and gentle breeze, the guests departed in twos and threes, chatting and laughing.
Qiao Shilian’s maid had already gone to wait by the carriage outside the estate. It was then that Qiao Shilian heard that the Crown Prince, Qin Shuo, was resting in the bamboo pavilion and wished to see her.
Meeting alone at such an hour was somewhat improper, but Qin Shuo and she had been childhood friends for years, their relationship close. Moreover, since their betrothal was decreed, Qin Shuo had always treated her with restrained affection, meticulously observing propriety.
Thus, Qiao Shilian didn’t think much of it and made her way towards the bamboo pavilion.
She walked slowly along the secluded, winding path.
Before long, by the faint light spilling from a stone lantern, she caught sight of Qin Shuo’s figure ahead.
Qiao Shilian called out to him softly, but perhaps the distance was still too great, for Qin Shuo didn’t seem to hear. She could only see his silhouette, receding into the distance, its outline flickering amidst the shadows of the branches.
Lifting her skirts, she quickened her pace, following Qin Shuo’s retreating form.
A warm night breeze brushed her face, carrying a faint, cloyingly sweet scent. Suddenly, for some reason, her legs grew weak, and her vision began to blur.
Stumbling, she sensed a man step forward to steady her.
Though she couldn’t see him clearly, his attire was deep black—definitely not Qin Shuo.
Clenching her teeth, she mustered her strength to push the man away. But in her current boneless state, the effort caused her to lose her balance, and she instead tumbled into the man’s arms.
It was precisely at that moment that a group departing from the banquet passed by. Witnessing the intimate posture of the two, the event was twisted into a tale of the Prime Minister’s daughter secretly meeting a guard at the Princess’s residence for a tryst under the cover of night.
What happened afterwards was that her maidservant, hearing the commotion, rushed over and helped her into the carriage back to the residence, while the guard was ordered to be apprehended.
At the time, returning home, Qiao Shilian had still thought that even if outsiders believed the rumors, her mother, who knew her well, would believe that she was utterly incapable of such a vile act.
Now, Madam Qiao gently extricated her skirt from Qiao Shilian’s grasp and turned to pour a cup of wine from the side table. Her lips pressed tightly together as she held the cup, her mind drifting until she saw her daughter on the floor, stubbornly lifting her tear-filled eyes, and a pang of sour sorrow pierced her heart.
Then Madam Qiao regained her composure, quietly hiding the struggle and tenderness in her eyes. She bent down and spoke to her daughter as if coaxing a child, “Lian’er, listen to your mother. Before this matter spreads further… end it yourself… Your father will find a way to suppress the affair… at the very least, we can preserve your reputation after… after you’re gone…”
As her words fell, thunder suddenly crashed outside, and the sound of pattering rain swiftly intensified into a downpour.
Hearing this, Qiao Shilian froze, her tear-filled eyes wide, her entire body turning cold in an instant.
She looked up in disbelief at her mother’s solemn face, her heart sinking to the depths of despair.
She had still held onto hope. Her mother loved her most dearly. She didn’t believe her mother’s earlier words were anything more than momentary anger. Once her mother calmed down, she would surely understand her innocence and find a way to clear her name.
But now, her mother wasn’t giving her that chance at all. Instead, she was offering a cup of poisoned wine, blocking off all her avenues of retreat.
In the flickering candlelight, Qiao Shilian stared at the swirling liquid in the white porcelain cup but did not take it.
The mere thought of death terrified her.
She shook her head desperately, her voice rising to a sharp cry, “No! I won’t! I don’t want to die! Mother, I can swear to the heavens, I am still chaste! Mother, you can have someone examine me…”
It felt as if a thousand tiny insects were gnawing at her heart.
She refused to accept this. She would not die such an unjust death. Even if it meant enduring the humiliation of an examination by an older woman, she would not end things like this.
Why should she bear the blame for something she didn’t do? How could mere rumors kill her?
As the legitimate daughter of the Prime Minister’s household, she had lived under scrutiny since childhood. She had always followed the rules meticulously, been cautious in every matter, constantly reminding herself to be dignified and proper, fearful of bringing shame to the Qiao family name.
Never did she imagine that today she would have to die because of such filthy gossip. Qiao Shilian simply could not accept it.
A flicker of reluctance passed through Madam Qiao’s eyes. As she opened her mouth to speak, tears already streamed down her face.
“Lian’er… don’t blame your mother… Mother has no other choice… I truly hate myself for not being able to protect you… but now, this matter concerns the entire Qiao family…”
Madam Qiao’s voice grew hoarse, unable to continue.
It was only then that Qiao Shilian understood. What severed her path to survival wasn’t her lack of chastity. It was the scandal witnessed by so many, so easily ‘confirmed’ amidst the endless gossip and conjecture.
Between her and the Qiao family, it was clear that Madam Qiao had chosen the latter, sacrificing her.
She took a deep breath, desperately searching for a way out of this deadlock, when she suddenly thought of someone who might be able to help.
Qiao Shilian straightened her kneeling posture, clutching her mother’s hand as if grasping a lifeline. “The Crown Prince… His Highness the Crown Prince can vouch for me!”
“How can the Crown Prince vouch for you?”
A deep, resonant voice sounded. Qiao Qingsong strode steadily into the room, brushing the rain from his sleeves as he fixed a stern gaze upon Qiao Shilian.
Qiao Shilian answered in a small voice, “Father, at that time, one of His Highness’s young eunuchs relayed a message for him, asking me to meet at the bamboo pavilion. I was on my way when I saw His Highness ahead, and that’s why I followed. Later… I don’t know how, but I seemed to be affected by some kind of incense…”
She saw Qiao Qingsong’s brow furrow tightly. “Utter nonsense!” he coldly retorted.
Qiao Shilian hurriedly explained, “Every word I speak is true! If you don’t believe me, you can ask—”
Qiao Qingsong’s expression darkened further. He cut off her attempt to explain, his voice grave. “I’ve just returned from the palace because of this scandalous affair of yours. His Highness told me he returned to the palace before the banquet ended last night. He never went to the bamboo pavilion at the Princess’s residence at all! And there is no such young eunuch in the Eastern Palace as you described!”
The partially open door allowed a gust of wild night rain to sweep in, extinguishing a nearby, already faint candle and dousing the renewed hope that had just flickered to life within Qiao Shilian.
Her face turned deathly pale. “No… that’s impossible…” she murmured, utterly shattered. “He was there… he was right there at that time, that’s why I…”
“Enough!” Qiao Qingsong’s patience was worn thin.
This incident involving Qiao Shilian would already require considerable effort on his part to manage, not to mention the flood of unsavory gossip that would be nearly impossible to stem.
The dignity of the Qiao family had been utterly shamed by his unworthy daughter.
Qiao Qingsong then glanced at Madam Qiao, giving her a meaningful look before turning back to Qiao Shilian. “Now, drink the wine.”
Madam Qiao knelt down, gently wiping the tears from Qiao Shilian’s face with trembling hands, her own eyes red-rimmed, as she offered the cup. “Lian’er…”
Qiao Shilian’s hand shook as she took the poisoned wine from her mother. The clear liquid reflected her own beautiful, yet now tragic, face.
Listening to the unceasing rain outside, she raised the cup to her lips. Then, abruptly, she let go, sending the cup clattering to the floor, her gaze resolute. “I can’t die yet… I need to find His Highness. I must get to the bottom of this!”
With that, she scrambled to her feet. Ignoring the pain and numbness in her knees from kneeling, she staggered towards the door.
She needed to see the Crown Prince face-to-face, to recount the events from start to finish. She wanted to find the true culprit and clear her name!
“You still refuse to admit your fault, even now!”
Her father’s furious shout came from behind. Qiao Shilian had barely crossed the threshold when Qiao Qingsong seized her by the collar and yanked her back inside.
Qiao Shilian looked back at her father’s cold, severe face, her voice tearing with the remnants of sobs. “Your daughter is not at fault! Why should I admit to something I didn’t do?”
She practically screamed the words at him. After enduring the injustice of last night, she had been holding in her frustration for so long. Now, her own parents, the closest people to her, not only didn’t believe her but wanted her to kill herself. How could she remain calm?
Tears she had just managed to stop began to flow uncontrollably again.
If they truly wanted to investigate, there were countless ways they could have done so. And she believed that, given time, they could have proven her innocence.
But they simply refused. Faced with the unstoppable tide of gossip and the reputation of the Qiao family, they had chosen the simplest, most brutal solution—her death.
“The path I have chosen for you is one of last resort!” Qiao Qingsong’s face was grim. “If you must blame someone, blame your own lack of virtue, for committing such an act!” He dragged Qiao Shilian to the side table, his arms locking around her, holding her firmly in place.
Her body suddenly restrained, Qiao Shilian already anticipated what her father was about to do. She looked up and saw the resolute, unyielding look in Qiao Qingsong’s eyes, a chill running down her spine.
In an instant, fear spread to every limb and bone, saturating her entire being.
Madam Qiao could not bear to watch. She turned her back, leaning against the chair for support, weeping silently.
Yet the sound of Qiao Shilian’s heart-wrenching cries and screams pierced the air with shocking clarity. Madam Qiao clutched her aching chest, her hand gripping a handkerchief so tightly her knuckles turned white.
Driven by an extreme will to survive, Qiao Shilian, with a burst of savage strength from who knows where, began to struggle fiercely, knocking over various objects beside the table.
Amidst the clattering sounds, as Qiao Qingsong seemed on the verge of losing his grip on her, his hold slightly loosening, he swiftly grabbed a sash from the window curtain and used it to bind Qiao Shilian to the chair, rendering her immobile.
The pain of the tight ropes digging into her flesh brought fresh tears to her eyes. Then her father pinched her jaw, forcing her mouth open.
Qiao Shilian’s eyes widened in horror, her heart filled with panic. She watched as her father, his expression indifferent, picked up the wine flask and, disregarding her resistance, violently poured the poisoned wine down her throat.
She instinctively tried to scream, but as the poison entered her throat, it instantly reduced her voice to broken, incoherent gasps.
The last vestiges of dignity and self-respect evaporated in the practiced, merciless motions of Qiao Qingsong. Under such humiliation, even her primal desire for survival gradually turned into stagnant despair.
So, this is how I die? Then just die like this.
After all, in this world, no one believes me.
I am merely that shameless, wanton woman of public gossip. I will enter the earth bearing an ineradicable stain, and no one will ache for me, no one will pity me.
Soon, amidst the agonizing pain of the poison, her consciousness began to scatter and fade.
Qiao Shilian was dead.
Perhaps due to the depth of her resentment before death, she transformed into a wandering spirit, hovering above her own corpse.
She silently observed the state of her body after death. It was a pitiful sight.
Her once slender and graceful form now slumped against the table, like withered leaves. Her face, which in life had been one of refined, ethereal beauty, was marred by the reddened bruise on her jaw and the dark, purplish-black poison blood that had spilled from the corner of her lips. Even her eyes, which had once held a subtle, autumn-lake charm, now retained only empty, lifeless pupils, adding a touch of horror.
Her expression still bore traces of suffering. Only she knew, intimately, how utterly helpless and despairing her death had been.
A beauty turned to dried bones, the moon fallen, a flower broken, scattered like trampled petals—all in the span of a morning and evening.
“The clan will not permit Lian’er to be buried in the ancestral graves. Find some barren wilderness and dispose of her there, simply and quickly.” It was her father’s voice.
Qiao Shilian felt a heavy blockage in her heart. She turned away and left the Prime Minister’s residence.
Remembering the matter she had wished to verify before her death, she drifted towards the Crown Prince’s private villa.
**