Because apart from Yin Man, she had no extra support to rely on.
Liu Siyin believed in Yin Man with all her heart. From the moment she said she wanted to marry her, from the moment she brought her out of the Liu family, she had only Yin Man.
Everyone said Yin Man was vicious. Maybe it was because she had not encountered much kindness since she was little, Yin Man’s kindness to her was already very, very good. Yin Youxia was also very good. Although she did not like her, she had never bullied her during their engagement period. Yin Zhe was also very good. Although he felt that she was not worthy of Yin Man, he had not shown any malice toward her either.
People outside all said how terrifying the people of the Yin family were. At the Liu family, they all said never to offend the Yin family, that everyone was a ghost-scaring menace, so frightening that even ghosts would worry when they saw them, let alone people.
But the Yin family was much warmer than the Liu family. At least for her, that was how it was.
However, she could feel that Yin Man’s temperament was somewhat unstable, sometimes good, sometimes bad, though of course it was still good most of the time.
“Siyin, tell me, if you enjoy a life, should you bear a responsibility?” Yin Man had originally been speaking to herself, but Liu Siyin heard it and took it to heart. She always answered every question Yin Man asked very seriously.
“Responsibility is itself part of life.” Just like her, she really did not like the Liu family anymore, was so afraid of Liu Mei, wanted to escape so badly, but she still had to obediently listen because her mother was still receiving the Liu family’s support, and she had also been raised by the Liu family. She had learned many things, though they were all things she disliked, but she was indeed bearing her responsibility.
Perhaps this kind of analogy was not right. It was like the princesses in history books who went in a marriage alliance, the princes and nobles tied together by marriage, no one had the right to only enjoy preferential treatment and not bear responsibility.
That was what Liu Siyin thought.
Yin Man also had some of this kind of thinking, but in essence she was still a selfish person. She had been an orphan before, one person eating enough meant the whole family ate enough. She had never taken care of anyone, and had never enjoyed family affection.
But now it was different. She had become another person, and this person had power, wealth, and family.
She had originally only thought of taking money, taking Liu Siyin, and escaping this place, but when she saw Yin Youxia’s breakdown, saw everyone’s attitude toward her, at that moment she actually wanted to make up for the original owner’s past mistakes on her behalf.
But Yin Youxia was clearly already left with very serious psychological trauma. Was this really a problem that could be solved by making up for it?
Yin Man was not sure.
As for Mei Xuying, perhaps she was not pretending to be kind. She simply had an irreconcilable hatred buried in her heart with the original owner. Clearly disgusted, yet still having to approach her, which was why she seemed fake.
Yin Man did not necessarily want an answer. She wanted a way to ease it, to ease the guilt in her heart. This was not the original owner’s conscience, nor the shame she should have, but after the memories merged and her personality changed, she just felt sorry for Yin Youxia.
A good girl had become crazy and confused.
At this moment, she was no longer a reader. She could not stand from a god’s-eye view and judge whether a person was good or bad. She was a person in the story. Any casual action could produce a butterfly effect, and it was already completely off track.
If this kept going, would Yin Youxia even have her feelings for Mei Xuying butterfly-effected away by her?
When Yin Man thought of Mei Xuying’s gaze toward Jiang Yan, her scalp went numb.
“Siyin, should I take you out to live?”
Liu Siyin was full of confusion. “Didn’t you say we should wait until my legs recover?”
Originally, she had wanted to wait until she had the ability to take care of herself, until she could stand, or until Liu Siyin regained her sight, until they had the ability to take care of themselves before moving out. But the gradually collapsing plot reminded her that if she did not make some changes, the only light in Yin Youxia’s world would be gone.
Because in the original novel’s plot, since Liu Siyin did not die, many things had not developed, and many of Mei Xuying’s scenes of protecting Yin Youxia were also missing. Now Mei Xuying and Jiang Yan also seemed to have a problem.
She was not noble, she was just uneasy.
She feared the later plot, feared that she would be overthrown, and was also uneasy about the direction of the plot’s complete collapse. The unknown is even more frightening, isn’t it? It would be better if they followed the plot at least, then she would still have some memory to use.
What’s more, for Yin Youxia, Mei Xuying was probably the last warmth in her life.
“Yin Youxia is so afraid of dogs, I think it’s better to take Xiaoyou and live separately from her.” She said it very nobly, and Liu Siyin agreed just as readily. “Sister Man, I listen to you.”
Liu Siyin was gentle and well-behaved. She leaned against Yin Man’s side, like the kind of wife one would imagine, but something was still missing. Yin Man said, “Don’t you think we don’t look like we’re dating? You are too obedient to me.”
“But isn’t a wife supposed to be obedient?” There should always be some arguments and friction. Friction is what creates sparks. Although she did not have much experience, she had read many books and watched many shows. Feelings all came about like that.
Dry wood and fire, sweet nothings, not them lying on the same bed and feeling no impulse at all.
But she did not know how to describe it to Liu Siyin. She could not possibly find a book and point at it and say, “Hurry up and learn this.”
Liu Siyin would not think she was sick, she should think she was a pervert instead. What’s more, Liu Siyin could not see at all right now.
Yin Man thought about it and asked, “Does your aunt also listen to your uncle like this?”
“My aunt and uncle do not live together. My aunt lives with Second Aunt.”
“…” Yin Man was somewhat speechless. “Doesn’t your uncle care?”
“Why should he care? My aunt and uncle each have their own lives. My uncle has two illegitimate sons outside.”
“…” Yin Man was completely speechless. She had forgotten again that this world was full of scum bastards. This damn worldview had overturned her worldview.
“What about your mother?” Yin Man asked, then immediately shut her mouth. “Forget it, don’t say it.”
Her future mother-in-law, a woman who at a young age became someone else’s mistress, let alone being able to bring Liu Siyin any healthy values. In this world, marriage was merely a piece of paper. After getting married, they still all played their own games. There was no lifelong devotion, no love where one would throw everything away just for you, and no infatuated, faithful person.
People were cheating, or on the way to cheating. Perhaps in their eyes that was not cheating at all, it was just simply following where the heart led.
In this kind of ghost place, no wonder Yin Youxia indirectly caused Liu Siyin’s death and was still considered a clear stream.
As someone who had been taught single-minded devotion since childhood, this place even overturned her worldview.
“Sister Man, are you unhappy?” She clearly had not said anything, had not made a sound at all, yet Liu Siyin could actually sense her mood. Did she know some kind of mind-reading?
Yin Man’s puzzled gaze locked onto Liu Siyin. That did not seem quite right either.
That clean little face, without any makeup, was still stunningly beautiful. If you pinched it, there would not even be a grainy feel, like a piece of tender tofu slipping through your fingertips. With just a little force, it seemed like it would be crushed. Yin Man muttered, “Liu Siyin, you absolutely cannot learn from them.”
“Hm?”
“Cheating, being fickle, promiscuous, none of that is allowed.” Yin Man made up her mind to shape Liu Siyin’s values a little. Of course, she also felt that Liu Siyin’s values could still be saved, after all, during the period when she was engaged to Yin Youxia, the only thought in her head was marrying Yin Youxia. Though it was also possible that she was afraid of the Yin family.
The marriage had not even happened yet, and she was already worrying that she was going to be betrayed.
“Anyway, you are not allowed to be like them. Likewise, you can also demand this of me.”
“Really?” Liu Siyin asked in disbelief.
Mom said that there was nothing in this world like single-minded devotion, let alone wholehearted devotion. Most people were the kind who still lusted after others even after getting married, but her father’s wife loved her father very much. Because she loved him too much, she could not accept anyone appearing by her father’s side. Love turned to hatred and ruined Shen Si’s eyes.
When Shen Si was stabbed blind, she did not hate that woman so much either. She only touched Liu Siyin’s face and said, “Siyin, how wonderful it would be if someone loved you like this too.”
She had thought it was her mother’s crazy talk, but later, after entering the Liu family and living with that woman, she then knew what kind of solemn feeling it was.
Liu Mei and the others always had many male pets and female pets, tangled up in a mess. That woman was like an existence that did not fit in with that family. She only stayed in her room embroidering flowers. Under her needlework were lotus blossoms in pairs, mandarin ducks in pairs, with never three people together.
Her embroidery was very good. Many people asked her for things, but only when her father opened his mouth would she embroider, go help him send gifts to others, and only when her father opened his mouth would she step out of that room. She only ever loved her father, and only ever slept with her father.
But her father was forever lingering in the land of tenderness, and after losing Shen Si there were still many other Sis. Madam had a son, who was exactly like her father, utterly useless and also fond of spending money. A marriage had originally been arranged for him, but when the madam went to tidy the new wedding room in the past, she discovered four men and women lying on the same bed, and her son was among them. That marriage was then forcibly called off by her, and she also cut off contact with her son.
Liu Mei said she was mentally ill. The madam did not bother to respond, only proposed divorce. She had originally married down into the Liu family, and if she wanted to leave, no one dared to stop her.
When she left the Liu family, she only left one sentence: “I am different from you. From childhood I learned self-respect and self-love, husband and wife should be of one mind, feelings are a matter for two people, not a matter for a group.”
Liu Siyin remembered it for a long time. She felt that was very good. She had read books, and in books there were some feelings of till-death-do-us-part, one-person-for-life love, how beautiful they were. It was just that reality was not quite the same. None of them felt that putting another person’s name into love was a sin.
“Of course, feelings should be faithful from start to finish. A story between two people should not have a third person.”
Yin Man’s words echoed in her ears, as if overlapping with that woman’s words. Yin Man had given her another illusory dream that she could not control.
“Sister Man, I believe you.”
Yin Man did not know what she was thinking. She only knew that her values would not allow her to mess around, and she also wanted Liu Siyin not to mess around. Pinching her soft cheek, she said, “I believe you too. From now on, you are only allowed to like me, heard?”
“Why from now on?”
“We just met. Feelings need to be cultivated.” What she said seemed like a series of needles stabbing into Liu Siyin’s heart, and even after lying down she could not sleep peacefully. Liu Siyin was jolted awake by a nightmare in the middle of the night. In the dark, she groped for Yin Man’s face, feeling her delicate skin, and finally found Yin Man’s lips. She leaned over.
When she kissed Yin Man, tears fell.
“So, Sister Man, you still do not like me yet.”
But she already liked Yin Man very, very much, liked the sense of security she gave, liked that she appeared in her life like a savior, liked those illusory dreams she spoke of.
She liked Yin Man so much, but Yin Man still did not like her.
Author’s note:
Thank you to everyone who cast a mine or fed me nutrient solution during 2022-04-24 20:53:17~2022-04-25 20:53:41.
Thank you to the little angel fishyu for casting 1 mine;
Thank you to the little angel, a salted fish, for feeding 1 bottle of nutrient solution;
Thank you all very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!