Liu Siyin really was afraid of the dark, and Yin Man blurted out a curse.
She had found another reason for her suicide. A person who is afraid of the dark would live forever in darkness, and the cannon fodder setting became even more tragic.
Liu Siyin had not yet fully accepted the fact that she was blind. She was terrified, and because it was too dark, her body kept trembling. Yin Man, feeling slightly irritated, reached out her hand, but she could not reach Liu Siyin’s hand. Her legs limited how close she could get.
She was not sure whether Liu Siyin also had a self-harming tendency like the original host, but her lips had already been tortured by herself into a terrible mess, with more and more blood surging out, shocking to the eye.
“Liu Siyin, stop biting.”
The intense irritation made her whole body feel terribly uncomfortable. She tried to move closer, but her whole body suddenly fell against the side of the hospital bed. Feeling the movement, Liu Siyin finally stopped. Her hand fumbled around on the bed. “Sister Man, are you okay?”
Yin Man could not care about the pain and grabbed the hand that had just reached out to her. “Liu Siyin, don’t bite yourself anymore.”
Liu Siyin froze.
What Yin Man was like in the mouths of those people outside, a vicious beast, but she was trapped in the darkness, and only Yin Man had handed her a lamp.
The limited feeling of being cared for that she had ever received was actually all given to her by Yin Man.
The tip of Liu Siyin’s nose turned slightly sore. “Sister Man, you’re a good person.”
Was she a fool? She could forget pain with just a little care. The original host was the beginning of her tragedy, right? If the original host had not humiliated her so publicly at that banquet, she might still have been able to marry into another family. Maybe Yin family was not her only choice. After all, her beauty was enough to make many people ignore her background.
The pair of hands in her palm had already been scratched bloody by fear of the dark. When Yin Man held them, Liu Siyin’s blood stained her palm. Looking at the blood in her hand, Yin Man suddenly felt a sense of righteousness. She wanted to save Liu Siyin, at the very least not let her die so miserably.
Cannon fodder was also a living person.
“Liu Siyin, if you’re really scared, you can cry.”
Liu Siyin sniffled. “Thank you, Sister Man.”
Yin Man half-leaned against the side of the bed. This posture made her very awkward, but… just now it seemed her legs could exert some strength. She tried again, but no matter what, she could not move even a little. Yin Man suddenly felt a bit discouraged. She had gotten used to the days when she could walk freely, and losing both legs all at once really was somewhat hard to adapt to.
She moved her body slightly, and actually managed to use a little force, falling back into the wheelchair.
Yin Man froze. Her legs seemed to be able to exert a little strength.
She did not know whether it was an illusion.
Before Yin Man could investigate further, she saw Mei Xuying. She was holding Yin Youxia, whose eyes were red, looking as if she had come to stand up for her. “Yin Man, you’re really going to force your own younger sister to marry a blind person!”
Mei Xuying stood on the moral high ground to accuse her. Yin Man searched through all of the original host’s memories, but still could not find the reason Mei Xuying cared so much about Yin Youxia. The perspective of the original text was also Yin Youxia’s perspective. In Yin Youxia’s view, Mei Xuying was light, gentle and warm, illuminating her world, but why Mei Xuying wanted to become her light, even she did not know.
If Mei Xuying really were just a good-hearted person overflowing with compassion, then that could be explained. But although she had not interacted much with Mei Xuying, Mei Xuying was clearly not a good person, and was even somewhat hypocritical.
Just like the description in the original host’s memories, Mei Xuying was fake and good at putting on an act.
Yin Man did not make a sound, and even the hand she had been holding loosened.
Yin Youxia looked at Yin Man, then at Mei Xuying. Mei Xuying calmly patted Yin Youxia’s hand. “Didn’t you have a lot you wanted to say to Liu Siyin? Go say it. Don’t be afraid of Yin Man.”
She was clearly already prepared to tear her face off with her, the plot was a little off.
In the original text, Mei Xuying only completely tore face with Yin Youxia later on, after she was truly together with Yin Youxia and had given up her wariness toward her. Even when she protected Yin Youxia in the early stages, she used a roundabout strategy and did not have much conflict with Yin Man. Such an obvious hostile attitude should not have been there.
Yin Man could not figure it out. Could the butterfly effect of transmigrating into a book really be this big?
Under Mei Xuying’s encouragement, Yin Youxia moved closer to Liu Siyin. “Liu Siyin, I think you’re very clear that there are no feelings between us. Now that your eyes are blind, I just happen to have a reason to break off the engagement with Liu family. You also know that I’ve always wanted freedom. I absolutely will not enter into an arranged marriage. You became like this to save me. I’ll give you a settlement fee, and even if you’re driven out by Liu family, you’ll still have food and clothing for the rest of your life.”
“Youxia, I can’t see.”
Liu Siyin’s hands were tightly clasped together, and her body trembled uncontrollably.
Yin Youxia seemed not to notice this. She still said calmly, “I know. You may be abandoned by Liu family. Don’t worry, I’ll buy you a house, give you money, and settle you properly.”
There was a moment of silence in the air. Liu Siyin did not know how to respond to Yin Youxia’s decision. She could only repeat herself again. “Youxia, I can’t see.”
“I already said I know!” Yin Youxia became anxious and impatient. Liu Siyin lowered her head and still chose to back down. “Okay.”
Why agree?
Did she not know how miserable she would be if she left this marriage with Yin Youxia?
Yin Man looked at Liu Siyin somewhat dissatisfiedly, but then met the vaguely smiling expression in Mei Xuying’s eyes. She suddenly felt a chill run down her back, a naturally uncomfortable feeling rising up. Mei Xuying also noticed that she was looking at her, and she withdrew the expression in her eyes. “Cousin, look, even the person involved wants to break off the engagement. If you want to be a living bodhisattva again, why don’t you marry her yourself.”
“Isn’t a cripple and a blind person a perfect match?”
Mei Xuying was actually mocking her. Before Yin Man could figure out what to say, the original host’s body seemed to have developed a will of its own, and the mocking words had already burst out. “Cousin isn’t a pretty good match too? They’re both illegitimate daughters, so that makes us well matched.”
Watching Mei Xuying’s face turn green and white, part of Yin Man’s memories became complete again. It turned out Mei Xuying was not the daughter born by Madam Mei, but the result of Yin Man’s uncle’s one-night stand. It was just that at the time Yin Man’s uncle had no son under his knee, so he simply brought Mei Xuying home and publicly claimed she had been born by his wife.
Very few people knew, and the original host happened to be one of them.
To put it bluntly, the original host was a psychopath. She liked excitement, and even more liked exciting others. Mei Xuying was often provoked by her. Although Mei Xuying was very favored, Yin Man’s uncle was biased, but not toward his own child, toward Yin Man. For Yin Man’s uncle, the children in the family were far less important than the two children left behind by his younger sister, so Mei Xuying also grew up being bullied by the original host.
Then Mei Xuying and Yin Youxia really did have some of the same fate. Yin Man looked at Mei Xuying’s ashen face, and a trace of a smile appeared at the corners of her mouth. “Cousin, you won’t be at a loss either. Liu Siyin is much prettier than you.”
Mei Xuying took a deep breath, forcing herself to look calmer. She said, “Then cousin can enjoy herself.”
She grabbed Yin Youxia and left, her high heels grinding out an ear-piercing sound on the floor. Looking at their enraged departing backs, Yin Man actually revealed a pleased smile.
It might have been influenced by the original host’s body. She could feel that she was becoming very fond of provoking people.
If others were unhappy, she was happy.
This went against Yin Man’s own personality. This could not continue. Yin Man was somewhat troubled. She seemed to not have complete control over her body. She quickly absorbed the fact that she had entered a book, but she could not accept being influenced by another person’s will.
The good thing was that in her interactions with everyone, there was a certain amount of the original host’s own will, so it was not easy to expose her. But the bad thing was that she was gradually losing herself. She seemed like someone with split personality.
She really feared that one day she would become the original host.
When she used to read books, she often complained that any top in this book, if thrown into reality, would be beaten to death with sticks. She did not want to become the kind of person she hated most, and even less did she want to be a scum top.
Yin Man had lived to the age of twenty-five in her previous life. She had dated twice in a simple way, but both relationships ended before even kissing or hugging, like children playing at romance. Yin Man somewhat believed in the nonsense of being together as two people for life. She wanted to find a girlfriend who would always stay with her, someone who could withstand the test of time. She rejected being a scum top.
Yin Man only came back to her senses when she heard a tiny voice like a mosquito’s.
Liu Siyin asked very seriously, “Sister Man, can you kill me?”
It was as if she had thought for a long time before making up her mind.
When she said this, her whole body was trembling. Yin Man could feel that Liu Siyin was afraid of death, but what she said was so firm.
“Why do you want to die?”
“My mom was also blind. Back then we lived in a very small town. They all bullied Mom. When Mom went to buy vegetables, there would be older women who gave her ghost money, and there were also many strange uncles. When I came back from school, I could see all of it…” Liu Siyin seemed to have fallen into a painful memory. She unconsciously bit her lip again. Yin Man took this as one of Liu Siyin’s bad habits. Looking at the lips repeatedly ground bloody by her teeth, she could not help but think, does Liu Siyin really not hurt?
Just looking at it, she felt pain.
Liu Siyin’s recollection stopped. That memory filled in another missing and miserable part of Liu Siyin’s character setting, and these details had not been written in the original text.
Liu Siyin clasped her hands tightly. “Sister Man, you’re a good person. You’ll definitely kill me, right?”
She was afraid of pain, afraid of death, but she was even more afraid of the dark, and even more afraid of living without hope.
Yin Man said indifferently, “Killing people is against the law.”
As soon as the words fell, Yin Man’s chest suddenly hurt. She bent over sharply, and her breathing became rapid. Yin Man heard the unusually abnormal sound of breathing and hurriedly asked, “Sister Man, what’s wrong with you?”
Yin Man could not really say. It just hurt very, very much.
She was in so much pain that cold sweat poured down, and Liu Siyin was very anxious. She reached out to press the nurse-call bell. Yin Man clenched her fists and called out to the Liu Siyin who was worrying for her. “Liu Siyin, since it’s all a marriage alliance, marrying me is the same, right?”
Liu Siyin froze. Even the hand reaching for the bell stopped. She asked uncertainly, “Sister Man, are you taking pity on me?”
Yin Man touched her own healthy legs and gave a self-mocking smile. “I’m crippled, you’re blind, it’s hard to say who’s taking pity on whom.”
Liu Siyin silently pressed her lips together, her lips turning pale for a moment.
Yin Man added, “I also have a very bad temper, and violent tendencies. Are you afraid?”
She had softened. Liu Siyin was different from Mei Xuying’s hypocrisy. She had been raised by Liu family and not spoiled by it. She knew warmth and coldness, she was kind, and Yin Man wanted to save her, protect her.
Yin Man was not a very capable person. It was just that a child who grew up without father or mother had to go through many things, so she had always been very clear-minded. At this moment, she was especially clear-minded. She simply wanted to give Liu Siyin a hope of surviving.
Since they were both going to have the surname Yin, whose Yin it was under would be the same, right.
She was not sure how long she would stay in this world, and not sure whether she would be swallowed by the original host’s consciousness, but Liu Siyin was already at a dead end. No matter how bad the outcome was, it would only be worse than dying right now.
Liu Siyin was silent for a long time. It was only when Yin Man’s patience was gradually worn away that she finally heard Liu Siyin’s weak question. “Really, really possible?”
Author’s note:
[Bonus skit]
Yin Youxia was close to losing her mind. Let me clarify one last time, she is not an illegitimate daughter.
Yin Youxia: If anyone calls me an illegitimate daughter again, we’re over.
Mei Xuying: You look down on illegitimate daughters?
Yin Youxia: No, wife, listen to my explanation.
Liu Siyin: What did illegitimate daughters ever do to offend you?
Yin Youxia: Sister-in-law, I have reason to suspect you’re adding fuel to the fire.