This pretty little beauty was the kind Xu Yifan wanted to look at once, and then look at again, whereas the broad-shouldered, thick-waisted aunties sitting at the village entrance were the kind he didn’t dare look at twice after the first glance. What was going on here? They all had two eyes, one nose, one mouth, how could this one person be built in such a way that made his blood rush like this?
Xu Yifan said, his tone somewhat exhilarated, “You’re really pretty. Exactly the type I like.”
Xian Qinglin had heard this kind of compliment plenty of times before, but in the past, whenever these words came from someone else’s mouth, they always carried an unspoken undertone of lewd intent. Xu Yifan, though, seemed to be praising him sincerely, without any hint of flirtatious teasing.
Xian Qinglin laughed softly. “Thanks for the compliment. You… you’re pretty good yourself.”
His brows and eyes remained as cold as ever, but that smile made Xu Yifan’s brain feel like it was melting from the heat, he nearly forgot everything else and completely missed whatever Xian Qinglin said afterward, only thinking that damn, this man was just too good-looking. Xu Yifan coughed and hurriedly waved his hand. “You’re this pretty, and yet you’re still so polite about it, ah! Really my type.”
Xian Qinglin: “…”
“Why aren’t you saying anything? Your voice sounds so nice too, just a few words and it feels like my heart’s melting.”
Xian Qinglin: “…”
Xian Qinglin felt unbearably awkward.
His mouth opened and closed for a good while, yet he couldn’t force out a single word. This man really was as thick-skinned as he’d suspected, saying things like that without a trace of shame.
“Boss, we’ve only been apart for a moment, and you’re already talking this greasy?” The demonic plant squeezed its way out through the crack of the door.
Xu Yifan’s eyes lit up. “Did you get it?”
“Of course! I, Momo, have twenty days of professional chicken-stealing experience under my belt. With me personally taking charge, how could it not go off without a hitch?”
Momo was the name Xu Yifan had given the demonic plant.
Xu Yifan sprang to his feet. “Then let’s bolt.”
The three of them hurried away from the Beast-Taming Hall in a rush.
Xian Qinglin felt dazed the whole way.
He’d never imagined stealing something could be this easy.
He’d heard from Ma Xiu that the secret chamber was jointly defended by a third-grade protective array, a concealment array, and a fourth-grade killing array.
And yet, the things inside had been stolen without alerting a single soul.
It felt just like a dream.
Still, he didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty about it.
That sly, weasel-faced Ma Xiang, not stealing from him would’ve been the real waste.
Once they reached the woods in the outer sect, Xu Yifan set up a concealment array and immediately, unable to wait any longer, pulled the stolen goods out from his spatial ring.
Ma Xiang had served as Hall Master of the Beast-Taming Hall in Xianhao Sect for nearly a century, his personal wealth was naturally considerable.
A full eight large chests of spirit stones, along with twenty or thirty first- and second-grade pills, and no shortage of magic tools either, though all second-grade—Xu Yifan didn’t think much of those, but he was utterly infatuated with the Nether Stone Ore, unwilling to let it go.
The Nether Stone Ore weighed only about eight or nine jin, not an enormous amount, but as a fifth-grade ore, it was worth more than all those chests of spirit stones combined. Even if he’d gotten nothing else this time, this one piece of Nether Stone Ore alone would have made the trip worthwhile.
Still, seeing those several chests of spirit stones made Xu Yifan quite happy too.
He wasn’t short on pills or talismans, and he wasn’t short on magic tools either, but he was still fairly short on spirit stones.
The Southern Region was a cramped, insignificant place, the second- and third-grade pill masters, artifact refiners, and formation masters had all long since been recruited by the various great sects and noble clans. If a large batch of second- and third-grade pills and talismans suddenly flooded the market, it would surely draw investigation from every major power.
Xu Yifan knew his own limits. Whenever he ran short on spirit stones, he’d sell off a pill or two, always first-grade pills, array plates, and talismans. Disciples of great clans and sects sometimes received pills and array plates they had no use for and would resell them for spirit stones too, so Xu Yifan occasionally selling something didn’t draw much attention. But since what he sold was only first-grade, and he could only manage a sale every few months, he never had much in the way of spirit stones on hand.
Still, spirit stones spent could always be earned back—Nether Stone Ore was different. Never mind the Southern Region, a thing like this could make people fight to the death over it anywhere.
They’d originally agreed to split the loot evenly. Xu Yifan hugged the Nether Stone Ore, his heart aching at the thought of giving any up, and said, “I’ll cut you off half of this, but do you have a sword? Or some kind of defensive magic tool? This thing only realizes its true value once fused into a weapon.”
An artifact refiner capable of fusing a fifth-grade treasure would need refining skills of at least fifth-grade themselves, fifth-grade artifact refiners weren’t easy to hire. And as an outer disciple, suddenly having something like this on hand would easily arouse suspicion. His own sword was subpar, not even reaching first-grade. He didn’t recognize the stone, but seeing how happy Xu Yifan looked holding it, he figured the man must like it, so there was no need to waste it on him.
Xian Qinglin shook his head. “I don’t want it.”
Xu Yifan: “Huh?”
“Spirit stones will do just fine.”
Xu Yifan’s eyes went wide. “You’re sure?”
“Mm.” Xian Qinglin said, a bit embarrassed. “I didn’t really contribute any effort anyway.”
“You’re not allowed to regret this later.”
Xian Qinglin nodded.
In the end, Xu Yifan gave him two chests of spirit stones, plus all those pills and magic tools, he could tell this pretty little man was in fairly tight financial straits, tending to his spirit fields in the middle of the night and all.
Xian Qinglin accepted the spirit stones and pills, but didn’t take the magic tools.
The two parted ways in the forest.
The demonic plant had performed well, and Xu Yifan gave it three bottles of Spirit Plant Pills. The demonic plant was overjoyed, bobbing its head the whole way, calling “Boss, Boss” nonstop.
Once the two of them left, the surroundings seemed to grow quiet and cold again.
Xian Qinglin watched them until they disappeared into the distance before drawing his gaze back. He had no spatial pouch or spatial ring, so he hid the stolen goods away carefully, making sure no one could find them, before quickly returning to the servants’ quarters. Along the way, he thought to himself that he wouldn’t take on any jobs for the next few days, he needed to refine these two chests of spirit stones into cultivation first. Only by converting the spirit stones into actual strength could he feel at ease, otherwise, once Ma Xiang discovered his secret chamber had been cleaned out, there would surely be a massive investigation, and if he were found out, there would be no way for him to survive.
Ma Xiang was only at Foundation Establishment cultivation, so Xu Yifan wasn’t worried, but he still had the demonic plant refine the several chests of spirit stones they’d obtained first.
The demonic plant was very obedient and began cultivating in the middle of the night. Xu Yifan, however, lay in bed tossing and turning, unable to sleep.
“Boss.” The demonic plant was disturbed by it. “Are you baking flatbread in bed? Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I’m contemplating the great matters of life.” Xu Yifan said.
“What matters?”
“I want to pursue the pretty little man.” Xu Yifan said, his eyes shining.
The demonic plant couldn’t even keep meditating properly and bounced straight onto Xu Yifan’s belly. “Boss, didn’t you just say last time that the pretty little man was in league with those people badmouthing you, and that he was no good either? Why do you want to pursue him now?”
Xu Yifan blinked. “I feel like a person shouldn’t be so one-sided in how they judge things and handle situations, that makes us seem so narrow-minded. Maybe I misjudged the pretty little beauty last time. Look at tonight, how good-looking he was when he smiled! Someone that good-looking, could he really be a bad person? Definitely not, right?”
The demonic plant: “…”
“He’s just too dazzling. I always used to think that saying about someone glowing all over was total nonsense, empty bragging, now I finally know it’s real. The pretty little beauty is that good, I feel like in this whole wide world, only someone like him could possibly be worthy of you, Boss, brilliant beyond compare, kind-hearted, devastatingly charming and cool. Hurry down the mountain and buy me some books, I need to research the art of courting a husband.”
The demonic plant: “…”
The next morning, while Xu Yifan was still dreaming away, the Sixth Elder arrived.
The cave dwelling had already been completely transformed, utterly unlike the bare emptiness of the day before, a warm, homey atmosphere greeted him at the door. Inside there was a table, with a vase on top holding a bunch of vividly blooming flowers, a chair beside it, a bookshelf with a few books arranged on it, and the bed was made up with two layers of blankets, looking extremely cozy and comfortable.
Who would have thought this child actually liked reading. Not bad, not bad at all.
The Sixth Elder felt rather gratified. Without waking Xu Yifan, he walked straight to the bookshelf and pulled out a book, only to find the cover boldly emblazoned with several large characters.
Mandarin Duck Secret Manual. [1]a euphemistic old term for an erotic manual, “mandarin ducks” being a traditional symbol of romantic/sexual pairing jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3015882_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3015882_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });
His temple twitched. He put the book back and pulled out another.
Flower Arranging and Jade Play. [2]another euphemistic title implying erotic content jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3015882_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3015882_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });
He pulled out another.
The Fox Spirit Fell for Me.
…
The Courtesan Has Feelings for Me.
What Should I Do When My Cultivation Partner Isn’t Satisfied?
What kind of trashy books were these?
The Sixth Elder’s temple veins bulged with fury.
There was one last book left on the shelf, thin, noticeably smaller than the others. The Sixth Elder huffed and pulled it out.
Eighteen Techniques for Men and Men.
The book might be trashy, but it was still worth a reference read.
He glanced over at the bed. Xu Yifan had rolled over to face him, sleeping soundly.
The Sixth Elder tossed the book into his spatial ring, then, his expression thoroughly unnatural, sat down at the edge of the bed.
“Wake up.” He nudged Xu Yifan.
Xu Yifan didn’t move.
“Wake up!”
Xu Yifan rolled over, his voice slurred. “What is it? So early in the morning.”
“Early, my ass?” the Sixth Elder said irritably. “The sun’s already baking your backside.”
“Oh! Then remember to flip me over, make sure it tans evenly. Half-black, half-white doesn’t look good.” Xu Yifan said lazily, eyes still closed.
The Sixth Elder was so furious he couldn’t catch his breath, his face flushing red.
“You little demon-spawn, get your ass up!”
By the time Xu Yifan was hauled out of the cave dwelling, he was still somewhat dazed, it wasn’t until a sword was shoved into his hand that he fully woke up.
The Sixth Elder went ahead and demonstrated a few sword moves on his own. Although plump, his movements were smooth and crisp, the sword energy fierce with each swing, carrying the aura of one who could sweep through an army single-handedly.
Xu Yifan was somewhat stunned.
Back when he’d first been taken as a disciple, the Sixth Elder had treated it like a joke, simply handing him a jade pendant and saying, “I’m not one for troublesome formalities, we’ll skip the master-disciple initiation ceremony. Take this jade pendant. Don’t underestimate it, seeing it is as good as seeing me. Once you get to Xianhao Sect, just flash this pendant and you can strut around however you like.”
He never expected the man to actually be this dedicated to his role now.
“What are you standing there dazed for? Did you get a clear look?” the Sixth Elder asked.
Xu Yifan had an excellent memory and nodded. “Got it.”
The Sixth Elder was very satisfied. “Mm! Good memory. Now demonstrate it back to me.”
Xu Yifan moved.
The beginner sword forms weren’t particularly complicated, the movements simple enough that any other disciple could execute them properly. Xu Yifan, though, was somehow the exception.
There was one move involving a mid-air spin into a full split while swinging the sword. When Xu Yifan reached this part, the Sixth Elder’s eyes twitched watching him, itching to walk over and kick him.
“For this move your legs need to split open, stretch straight out. Look at your legs, are those praying mantis legs? All bent like that.”
Xu Yifan wore a bitter expression. “Master, I can’t split that far down.”
“Why can’t you split down?”
“…” Xu Yifan said quietly, “My balls hurt.”
The Sixth Elder: “…”
“Nobody else’s hurt, only yours?”
“…Maybe mine are just bigger??”
Xu Yifan never did figure out which line had set the Sixth Elder off, or maybe it was just that his overall performance had been too dismal. For the following half month, Xu Yifan never got to sleep in even once, didn’t even get a chance to go down the mountain, and didn’t manage to see the pretty little beauty even a single time.
Every morning before dawn, the Sixth Elder would appear punctually in his cave dwelling. If calling out didn’t rouse him, the Sixth Elder wouldn’t scold him, he’d simply sit at the bedside, staring at him with a deep, unblinking gaze.
No matter how slow on the uptake or how exhausted Xu Yifan was, he couldn’t possibly keep sleeping under the weight of that “scorching” stare.
References[+]