“Hey! You little brat, you dare show your face again!”
The Giant Spirit God, with his massive frame, lifted Shen Fuxing and the white horse with one hand.
With a flick of his middle finger, he casually sent the horse flying.
Holding the disheveled Shen Fuxing between his thumb and forefinger, he removed his mask, and his nostrils flared violently, like two high-powered steam engines.
Shen Fuxing instinctively covered her nose to avoid inhaling the toxic fumes and ending up like Heavenly King Li.
If she hadn’t covered her nose, it might have been fine, but the moment she did, the Giant Spirit God completely lost it.
“You—!”
The Giant Spirit God sniffled, and tears streamed down the face of the twenty-meter-tall, burly giant, forming a waterfall cascading from the sky.
“I… I’ll drown you!”
As he spoke, he cried even harder, the muscular hulk sobbing with a whimpering “ying ying ying,” creating a bizarrely beautiful sight reminiscent of a Barbie doll with the strength of King Kong.
Thanks to the combined efforts of him and the white horse, Shen Fuxing got a free hair wash.
What a sneaky old trick.
Shen Fuxing pulled an umbrella from her sleeve, opened it over her head, wiped her face, then took out a loudspeaker, pressed the switch, and shouted at him through the dampness, “Hey! Big guy, let’s have a chat.”
“No!”
“I’ll apologize to you.”
“No!”
“I’ll compensate you with six thousand Merit.”
“No!”
“Fine then.”
Shen Fuxing swiftly slipped out from between his fingers, slid down his armor like a loach, landed on the ground, closed her umbrella, and prepared to leave.
“—Huh?! What did you just say?” The Giant Spirit God finally realized what he had just refused and hurriedly looked around, searching for Shen Fuxing on the ground, extending a hand like Er Kang’s iconic gesture.
“Wait, don’t go yet, let’s talk!”
Shen Fuxing remained cold and unyielding: “No.”
“Whoosh—”
A massive xuānhuā battle-axe descended from the sky, blocking Shen Fuxing’s path.
The fierce Astral Wind sent celestial horses fleeing in all directions. Dust and stones flew along the banks of the Celestial River, and for a full minute, Shen Fuxing couldn’t even open her eyes.
By the time she could see again, her previously soaked clothes and hair had been completely dried by the wind.
If Shen Fuxing could post bullet comments, she would have filled the screen with “666” by now.
Seeing her standing still for so long, the Giant Spirit God thought she must have been frightened by the axe that fell from the sky. His earlier sorrow vanished instantly, and he raised his arms, striking a Superman pose, looking every bit like a cheerful, sunny boy.
He radiated an artistic aura best described as “abstract.”
Shen Fuxing raised an eyebrow.
She liked it.
“Giant Spirit God, you’re so handsome! You’re the most handsome, most well-built god I’ve ever seen in the Heavenly Court!” Shen Fuxing gave a thumbs-up, sparing no effort in showering him with all the praise she had ever learned.
“Not only that, your skin tone is absolutely stunning, like deep sapphire, unrivaled in the entire Heavenly Court! Paired with these strong pectorals, abs, and glutes, you exude a masculine, virile beauty! Truly the Heavenly Court’s number one muscular hunk!”
The Giant Spirit God struggled to suppress a smile, gradually losing himself in the stream of compliments. “Hehe, it’s nothing, it’s nothing, just the basics.”
Seizing the opportunity, Shen Fuxing’s eyes darted around, and she transformed into a success guru, beginning to PUA him.
“Big guy, with such a strong physique and graceful posture, you’ll succeed at anything you do!”
“They all say you have bad breath, but those idiots don’t know how to appreciate it. This isn’t bad breath—it’s a treasure! A lucky charm that can earn you lots and lots of Merit!”
Giant Spirit God hung his head and let out a deep sigh, the powerful gust nearly blowing the slender Shen Fuxing away.
Realizing for the first time that his sigh could carry such force, Giant Spirit God quickly crouched down and steadied Shen Fuxing’s body with a single finger.
“Forget it, you don’t need to comfort me. Ever since I knocked out Heavenly King Li with my breath, all my colleagues call me ‘Stinky Breath Bro’ whenever they see me, and the fairies won’t even speak to me anymore.”
A gloomy, drizzling rain cloud hovered over Giant Spirit God’s head, occasionally crackling with lightning—a truly pitiful sight.
His fingers were thick and enormous, like five pillars. Shen Fuxing couldn’t wrap her arms around one, so she pressed her warm cheek against it and nuzzled gently.
“Dear, if you’re currently at a low point in your divine life, you must listen to what I’m about to say.”
Giant Spirit God instinctively looked up.
“Congratulations—your luck is about to change!”
Giant Spirit God was puzzled.
Just then, Shen Fuxing suddenly transformed. Her limbs swiftly climbed like an agile baboon, and with a nimble somersault, she flipped into Giant Spirit God’s palm, landing gracefully and stylishly.
“—Because, your hero has arrived!”
Giant Spirit God was stunned, and then a surge of warmth welled up in his eyes.
He could tell at a glance that Shen Fuxing was a hero! So was he!!
A sense of tragic regret for not having met sooner violently fermented in the air, sparking with electricity—intense, though no one quite knew what the intensity was for.
Shen Fuxing shouted loudly, “Do you want to earn lots and lots of Merit, making those gods who mock you jealous and worship you?”
“Yes!”
“Do you want to restore your heroic image in the eyes of the Heavenly Court’s female immortals? Do you want to become the greatest guardian god in their hearts?”
“Yes!!”
“Then do you want to work with me?”
“Yes!!”
Shen Fuxing declared her entrepreneurial manifesto, pushing the atmosphere to its peak. “When we achieve fame and success, they won’t be able to reach our heights!”
“Good!!”
Giant Spirit God’s mind was completely won over by Shen Fuxing’s silver tongue and sweet talk.
Now, the way he looked at Shen Fuxing was no longer as a “cunning little brat” but as a radiant life mentor, a miniaturized angel with ten halos above her head, bringing him salvation!
“But if stinky breath doesn’t even damage Merit, how can we earn Merit?” Giant Spirit God scratched the back of his head with his other hand, confused.
Hearing this, Shen Fuxing instantly transformed from an angel into a shrewd merchant. Putting on sunglasses, she cared for nothing but Merit. “Don’t worry, just watch me work.”
The celestial realm also had phones and shopping platforms.
Mortals used money to buy things, while for gods and Buddhas, Merit was their currency.
Generally speaking, Merit was proportional to one’s cultivation. Look at the top ten on the Divine Forbes Rich List—Tathagata Buddha, the Jade Emperor… each one a renowned powerhouse across the Three Realms.
There were many ways for immortals to obtain Merit. Besides accumulating virtue through good deeds, the methods were largely similar to how mortals earned money.
Today, the popular shopping platform “PinGoods” launched a new anti-wolf spray, produced by Giant Spirit God and a mysterious fairy using “Reason Over Force” as her profile picture.
As for its effectiveness, Heavenly King Li, who holds the pagoda, had already tested it firsthand for everyone.
Giant Spirit Anti-Wolf Spray—spray it, and they’re down.
No physical attacks, all spell damage.
A 100% critical hit rate, capable of easily subduing a Heavenly King-level powerhouse.
Social butterfly Taibai Jinxing gave a five-star review:
【Order to delivery in three minutes. Tried it—the power is terrifying. For a frail old-timer like me, it’s an absolute must-have when going out. @_Barefoot Immortal】
(Great Sage Equal to Heaven Sun Wukong, Great God of the Third Altar… and others liked this)
Barefoot Immortal: “Old Taoist Taibai! Are you out of your damn mind?!!”
IP: Heavenly Court Medicine King Palace. Southern District. Intensive Care Unit