Seeing the other person pause and deliberately keep him in suspense, Lu Jiayan asked, “What is it?”
He had originally expected Pei Zhiwen to propose the condition of returning to Beijing, but instead, he heard the other person say:
“I will stay in Jiangling for a year. During this year, I want you to be at my beck and call.”
Lu Jiayan’s tone was calm. “What is this considered? A fuckbuddy? A bed partner? Or a kept mistress that can’t see the light of day?”
Whichever one it was, it felt as though a sharp knife was carving him open inch by inch from the depths of his heart.
Lu Jiayan had never had much self-esteem, but that did not mean he lacked moral standards.
Even knowing that Pei Zhiwen and Zhou Ruo were perhaps a superficial couple in a marriage of convenience, where entering into a family alliance was a means for major clans to consolidate and rope in power, it did not mean he was willing to be a plaything for the rest of his life.
Anyone would get tired eventually.
Pei Zhiwen asked, “Very concerned about status?”
Lu Jiayan fell silent.
After a long while, he replied, “You’ve known the answer all along, haven’t you?”
The relationship between him and Pei Zhiwen had never been anything equal.
Pei Zhiwen possessed a strong sense of possessiveness over his belongings. In the past, aside from class hours, Lu Jiayan practically stuck to Pei Zhiwen every day, and he had to remain inseparable no matter what the other person was doing.
To outsiders, Lu Jiayan was a pet kept by Pei Zhiwen’s side, and there would sooner or later come a day when he would be discarded.
Even Lu Jiayan himself thought this way.
At first, he assumed that once Pei Zhiwen started a family, he would let him go. Who would have thought that when the time actually came to discuss marriage, the other person refused to let him leave, as if he genuinely harbored deep affection for him?
Lu Jiayan had never harbored extravagant hopes that Pei Zhiwen would love him.
Sometimes he regretted that he shouldn’t have turned to Pei Zhiwen for help when he was being bullied back then, but at the same time, he was grateful to the other person for providing him with over a decade of learning space.
“I won’t let you be a kept mistress,” Pei Zhiwen promised.
Unfortunately, Lu Jiayan didn’t dare believe it at all.
Pei Zhiwen’s track record was simply too extensive.
Lu Jiayan still remembered Pei Zhiwen’s words: “Don’t even think about leaving. Even if I get married, you still have to stay by my side.”
Perhaps every single incident was profound enough to be carved into his bones, causing Lu Jiayan to remember them exceptionally clearly even after so long.
“What about after a year?” Lu Jiayan lifted his eyes to look at Pei Zhiwen standing before him.
Pei Zhiwen had always worn a listless expression tinged with a hint of weariness. At this moment, pondering earnestly, he replied:
“A year from now, I will return to Beijing. By then, you…”
Pausing for a few seconds, the words rolled around in his throat before finally being spoken lightly:
“Will be free.”
Those three short words passed through Lu Jiayan’s eardrums like a draft blowing through a room. His heartbeat skipped a beat, his chest heaved a few times, and for a moment he couldn’t tell if he was experiencing auditory hallucinations.
The word “free” was exceptionally heavy.
Ever since he could remember, Lu Jiayan had lived with his parents in the Pei family courtyard. With his lowly background, he wasn’t even qualified to be a study companion in ancient times, at most serving as an object for the young masters to amuse themselves with and bully.
It was Pei Zhiwen who had happened to pass by and save him.
Of course.
In truth, it was Lu Jiayan who had begged for rescue.
Because Pei Zhiwen had a cold disposition and spoke very little, and although he was around the same age as them, his seniority was actually a full generation higher. He was the most authoritative little young master among his peers in the courtyard, and normally he couldn’t even be bothered to notice anyone else in the grounds.
“When you say freedom, does that mean…” Lu Jiayan asked, “that for the next year I will be responsive to your every demand and at your beck and call just like before, and once the term is up you will return to Beijing and no longer interfere with my life, is that right?”
After a long pause, Pei Zhiwen controlled his emotions and managed to maintain his composure as he answered:
“Right.”
“By then, everything between us will be wiped clean, and we will owe each other nothing.”
For some reason, Lu Jiayan’s chest felt blocked by a clump of water-soaked cotton.
He didn’t reveal a single expression of joy or excitement, raising his eyes to gaze at Pei Zhiwen, who had a small scar on the edge of his eyebrow.
“You’ve changed.”
Pei Zhiwen pulled an item out of his pocket, his thumb flicked open the cigarette case, and he bit a cigarette between his lips. With a snap, a flame licked at the tip.
Smoke rings were exhaled from thin lips, blurring the face of the person before him.
“Is that so?”
“I don’t think so.”
Lu Jiayan was noncommittal regarding Pei Zhiwen’s words.
In fact, from the very first day of their reunion, he had felt that there was an inexplicable sense of discord about Pei Zhiwen. It wasn’t until now that he finally discovered what was wrong: the other person’s paranoia, arrogance, ruthlessness, and self-willed stubbornness, which allowed no one around him to disobey, had actually converged somewhat.
“I hope you keep your word.”
Pei Zhiwen extinguished the cigarette and tossed it into the trash can, a sound similar to a light chuckle issuing from his nasal cavity.
“I’m leaving.”
“If you want to play, you can stay here longer.”
Lu Jiayan watched Pei Zhiwen’s back until the other person walked out of the shooting range.
Pondering for a fleeting moment, he didn’t follow.
After waiting a few minutes, he picked up the pistol that Pei Zhiwen had just returned to its original place.
Turning his head slightly, he raised it and pulled the trigger.
“Bang.”
Would that person really undergo a complete change of heart and let go of a marked prey?
This didn’t look like Pei Zhiwen’s style.
Lu Jiayan lowered his gaze and put the gun back.
He stepped forward and turned to leave.
As soon as Pei Zhiwen stepped out of the shooting range, he saw He Yao standing outside the door.
“What are you doing here?”
He Yao rubbed the tip of his nose. “Came to take a look, and ended up accidentally overhearing you and Lu Jiayan seemingly negotiating terms.”
Pei Zhiwen glanced sideways at his friend. “There’s no need to make eavesdropping sound so grand and justified.”
He Yao said nothing.
Without dwelling on his friend’s merciless exposure, he weighed things for a moment, kept pace with Pei Zhiwen, and voiced the question that had been puzzling him.
“Do you… not hate Lu Jiayan?”
Pei Zhiwen: “Why would I hate him?”
He Yao gave a light click of his tongue. “What do you think?”
He wasn’t a fool.
Three years ago, when Pei Zhiwen drove out, he was involved in a car accident. Fortunately, the airbags deployed and he didn’t lose his life or end up disabled, but he had to lie in a hospital for several months before recovering. At the same time, Lu Jiayan vanished from Beijing on that exact day, and the Pei family sent out several batches of people without finding a trace of him.
During that period, Pei Zhiwen forbade anyone from investigating the specific details of the car accident.
All signs pointed to the fact that the car accident was inseparable from Lu Jiayan.
He Yao hadn’t expected Lu Jiayan, who looked cool, honest, and easy to talk to, to lack softness when striking a blow, hiding a fierce tenacity deep in his bones.
Pei Zhiwen unconcernedly remarked, “A cornered rabbit will bite.”
He Yao couldn’t help rolling his eyes. “So now that you’ve found the person and negotiated terms, is it true that you’ll let him go after a year?”
He then continued:
“Giving Lu Jiayan freedom means you’ll have no relationship whatsoever in the future. He’ll date, and it could be with guys or girls. Oh right, actually, I remember Lu Jiayan never said he liked guys, right? You were the one who forced him…”
Pei Zhiwen stopped in his tracks, turned his head, and cast a cold glance at the person beside him.
The previously restrained composure was completely gone.
His pitch-black pupils resembled a bottomless, freezing pool, shrouded in dark clouds. His expression gradually grew thin, cold, and gloomy, and a mocking curve formed at the corner of his lips.
“Do you really think I’d let him leave?”
He Yao felt as though Pei Zhiwen’s emotional state was on the verge of an episode.
The reason was simple.
He blamed himself for saying that Lu Jiayan would end up with someone else.
“Fine.”
“My mouth is foul.”
He Yao rubbed his brow in resignation, his expression complex. “A-Wen, I feel like your condition has started getting worse again since you came to Jiangling. You must remember what Dr. Song told you, take your medication to stabilize yourself if you can’t control your emotions.”
Fearing that the other person would get angry, he added, “Don’t scare Lu Jiayan away again.”
Pei Zhiwen remained silent for a long time without answering, then stepped forward and left.
Seeing this, He Yao sighed and didn’t chase after him, unsure whether Pei Zhiwen had taken his words to heart.
Perhaps due to his condition, the other person had resisted and felt aversion toward seeing a psychologist since childhood. Normally he looked no different from ordinary people, but he would always develop a deep, intense desire for control over certain matters.
Namely, Lu Jiayan.