Candle wax had formed flower-like clusters on the container, and blue shadows on the walls sank into the flowing light.
Qilan’s small hand was wrapped in Liang Jianshi’s warm palm. In the silence, her heart was uneasy.
Liang Jianshi had been brooding with his head lowered for a long time, so long that Qilan couldn’t help breaking the silence.
“Mr. Liang, are you having some trouble at work?”
Liang Jianshi slowly looked toward the candlelight opposite. “Compared to this, work is trivial.”
A pale, self-deprecating smile lingered on his lips. He turned to Qilan, his eyes slowly reddening as he looked at her, quickly suppressing that deep sorrow.
Qilan was somewhat surprised. She didn’t know what had happened in those brief three hours to leave Liang Jianshi so utterly defeated.
“Whatever it is, I’m sure you can solve it.”
His grip on Qilan’s hand tightened. He turned to face her, looking deep into her eyes. “Even I cannot keep everything.” His composure was as calm as ever, but his voice carried an undeniable choke. “Do you know? On the surface, I have everything, but at any moment, I could also have nothing.”
Qilan couldn’t imagine what could possibly shake the century-old Liang family foundation. “Difficulties are only temporary. It won’t be as bad as you think.” Seeing his reddened eyes, her heart ached for him. “What you need now is rest.”
Liang Jianshi lowered his head thoughtfully, clenching his jaw. After a long, long time, he calmed down and smiled weakly. “The Liang family?” He knew what Qilan was thinking, but that wasn’t it. “Miss Qilan, do you know? Even if I gave up all my wealth, even the whole world, I couldn’t buy even a glimmer of hope.”
He took a difficult breath, his voice trembling at the end. “How long can I hold on?”
Qilan thought for a moment. “I don’t know what you’re desperately trying to hold onto, but I understand what you’re feeling. When my parents left, when my grandmother left… I wished that while I was processing my emotions alone, someone could be there, not too close, not too far, just quietly accompanying me.”
Gathering her courage, Qilan placed her right hand on Liang Jianshi’s. “If you need that, I can be that person.” She smiled, gentle yet resolute. “I’ll take good care of you and help you get through this.”
The surroundings suddenly fell silent. The flow of time seemed to slow.
Liang Jianshi stared at their overlapped hands, momentarily dazed. “How long can Miss Qilan stay with me?”
For a brief moment, Qilan was at a loss. Liang Jianshi lifted his gaze to her. “I’m not so easily satisfied. One day, one week, one month, one year, even ten years, or a distant future, I don’t want you to leave me.”
It was like a powerful electric current surging into Qilan’s heart.
Liang Jianshi’s expression and tone were earnest. His eyes fixed on her, there was even a certain obsession in them. “You can call it greed, but I truly don’t want our relationship to be so fleeting. Promise me, okay?”
His hoarse, trailing voice made Qilan’s heart tremble.
A familiar pressure washed over her. Qilan took a few deep breaths, and as she suppressed her feelings, she heard her own voice, lacking confidence. “Of course, we can be friends for a long time.”
Outside, the snow had stopped. The wind was shut out.
The international hotel, located in the heart of the bustling city, drifted into a sweet slumber.
Liang Jianshi didn’t hear the rest of what she said, and Qilan didn’t have the courage to continue.
Later, she returned to her room, holding the fluffy white cat in her arms, still trapped in the difficult emotions of earlier.
A large part of her heart felt empty.
But it was she who had hollowed it out.
ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Yellow leaves were buried in the gravelly snow. The light in the inner room went out. As clouds covered the moon, the world was left without shadows.
Qilan’s feet were as cold as the half-buried, withered leaf, watching helplessly as the moonlight slipped away from her, unable to take root and bloom again as before, to stand on tiptoe and reach for it.
ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Qilan rose early. She absentmindedly wiped glassware, her mind still on yesterday’s events.
She didn’t know how to face Liang Jianshi. Fortunately, when she got up this morning, Liang Jianshi seemed to have already left.
“Good morning.”
Liang Jianshi suddenly emerged from the paper-making studio, his voice as gentle as ever, startling Qilan.
Qilan’s overreaction didn’t affect Liang Jianshi. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat on the sofa, checking his emails.
“Did you sleep well last night?”
It sounded like a casual question, but Qilan detected a hint of intent.
“Pretty well…”
“Is that so? I noticed your light was on very late.”
Liang Jianshi didn’t look up, but his matter-of-fact statement unceremoniously exposed Qilan.
She was speechless. The corners of Liang Jianshi’s mouth curved up.
“It’s not that I was deliberately watching you, but I happened to be awake all night.”
Qilan: “…”
“Liang Jianshi smiled on the surface, but he was actually angry, wasn’t he?”
After their morning exchange, Liang Jianshi didn’t speak to her again. Qilan was miserable.
The deteriorating relationship with Liang Jianshi was hard to bear. But as someone who had just disappointed him, no matter how much she wanted to return to how things were, she had no standing to fight for it.
Later, after a short nap, she turned into a cat. Seeing Liang Jianshi pass by through a gap in the door, she hesitated for only a second before running out and clinging to his pant leg.
Taking advantage of being a little cat, she even quietly shed a few tears as she pawed at him.
Qilan was usually resilient, but at this moment, she felt fragile. Her emotions spilled over uncontrollably; if you listened closely, you could hear soft whimpering.
Liang Jianshi, as always, picked her up by the armpits, stretching her into a cat noodle before finally settling her in his arms.
She found solace in this brief moment of intimacy, her crumpled mood easily smoothed over.
When Liang Jianshi worked, Qilan stayed quietly on the sofa opposite him, not daring to disturb. Later, when he stepped away briefly, a pen rolled off the desk. Qilan dutifully picked it up in her mouth and placed it back.
As she was thinking about where to put the pen, she saw the unfinished letter Liang Jianshi had been writing. It seemed to be about the Duchess’s invitation that Assistant Wu had mentioned.
But Qilan had no mind for what Liang Jianshi had written. Those beautiful letters became thick and three-dimensional before her lake-blue eyes.
Her gaze quickly darted downward, searching for the signature. But the letter was clearly unfinished; the signature space was empty.
Qilan’s heart was on fire. Unable to wait until she turned back into a human, she desperately wanted to run back to the dormitory.
She tried, but the bodyguards at the door had been replaced with a new batch, all experts at catching cats. Reluctantly, Qilan retreated to sleep, hoping to become human again soon.
ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
As the sun set, cars lined up in front of the main gate. The evening dinner service was proceeding in an orderly fashion.
In the hallway outside the penthouse suite, a busy figure moved, utterly out of place in the elegant surroundings.
Qilan pushed open the dormitory door and met Tong Tong’s startled eyes.
“Lanlan, what’s wrong? You’re in such a hurry.”
Without a word, Qilan pulled out all the letters locked in her drawer.
Though they had corresponded for years and she knew his handwriting by heart, she had to see it with her own eyes.
On the ivory stationery, which remained pristine despite being opened countless times, were smooth, elegant cursive letters. Meticulous as if machine-printed, yet undeniably bearing personal characteristics.
Beside her, Tong Tong went about her own business, casually remarking, “After you moved out, the roses stopped coming.”
Qilan stared blankly at the letter, suddenly feeling nothing at all.
It wasn’t until Tong Tong, laughing, waved her hand in front of Qilan’s eyes that she snapped back to reality.
Her blood surged.
She remembered the first time she received a letter from abroad. After carefully translating and comparing, she had excitedly and nervously written her first letter; it felt like yesterday.
Those feelings back then were complex and delicate, entirely different from the feelings that had grown for Liang Jianshi. Like light tea compared to honey.
The path from the dormitory to the suite suddenly seemed long and difficult. She simply couldn’t reconcile her pen pal with Liang Jianshi.
It was still early. Liang Jianshi had gone to a meeting with partners in the afternoon and probably wouldn’t be back soon. No matter how anxious she was, Qilan prepared herself for a long wait.
She took a deep breath and pushed open the double wooden doors. The wind stirred the curtains. Liang Jianshi looked up from the letter in his hand and met her gaze.
In the long, yet not so long, silence, Liang Jianshi’s expression revealed nothing. His tone was as usual,
“Miss Qilan, did the roses meet your expectations?”
In Qilan’s widened eyes, something quietly merged.
The scent of tea and the taste of honey blended together, neither outweighing the other, flowing together into her heart.
She felt a pang of bitterness, yet overwhelming sweetness.
Qilan’s legs felt heavy as she walked over stiffly. The lines she had rehearsed in her mind came out shaky. “The roses, it was you all along?”
Liang Jianshi set down the letter, clasped his hands leisurely on the desk, his lips curving upward. The answer was clear in his eyes as he gazed quietly at her.
“So you’re Lans?”
“Didn’t you just see for yourself? Trust your judgment, Miss Qilan.”
Qilan felt she could no longer think.
“Th-Then… you said you would come to Yicheng to see me. You knew my name. So you… from the very beginning… You knew I was assigned as your private butler?”
Liang Jianshi’s crescent-shaped eyes reflected the light of the crystal chandelier. With perfect composure, he affirmed the absurd guess in her heart. “It wasn’t a coincidence.”
Qilan couldn’t accept it. She couldn’t articulate what she felt. “Then why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Liang Jianshi laughed softly, lowering his head. He rose and walked around the desk to stand before Qilan.
Leaning back against the edge of the desk, he quietly looked at the flustered girl before him.
“Keeping a distant correspondence, wasn’t that what you wanted?”
“How can those two be the same…”
She couldn’t refute him. Her answer lacked conviction.
“I had planned to tell you gradually. But Miss Qilan deliberately pretended not to understand. So, taking advantage of your discovery this time, I’ll make my position clear.”
“We’ve been friends for many years. For the time to come… can we become lovers?”
Liang Jianshi’s eyes were as deep and affectionate as the sea. Qilan could barely breathe.
It was like being suddenly unearthed after living underground; the bright sun overhead was blinding.
He was pushing her.
Pushing her to muster the courage to love.
ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
“Liang Jianshi: Don’t love me? No problem. I’ll just expose myself first. You do what you want.”