Lightning tore through the clouds and struck the earth.
The thunder rumbled so loudly that it seemed right beside them, while outside, the rain poured down in torrents.
Meng Huaijin looked down at her from above, his expression unchanged.
“If you acknowledge me as your elder, then of course I care about you.”
Because of the thunder just now, Shu Wan gripped the blanket tightly, her palms instantly covered in cold sweat.
After a moment of silence, she lifted her eyes.
“Meng Huaijin, you do care about me, don’t you?”
The man’s eyes narrowed.
His voice dropped several degrees.
“Do you really have to keep courting death like this?”
If he wasn’t silent and distant like a stranger—as long as he was angry, lost his temper, scolded her, or threatened her—Shu Wan now felt that it was all good.
“What can a title change?”
She asked softly.
“Does calling you that mean I can’t do whatever I want, while not calling you that means I can?”
Meng Huaijin’s expression grew even colder.
“If you’ve had enough of living, you can try.”
The girl was already immune to his threats.
She continued her own.
“Uncle Meng Chuan said that you and Miss Jiang aren’t even boyfriend and girlfriend. You’re in a political marriage, one that’s been carefully considered from every angle and is completely beneficial to the development of both families—a perfect marriage.”
“Yulin said that the two of you will probably become a couple who respect each other like honored guests.”
“But as far as I know, political marriages aren’t necessarily happy. And in prominent official families, being a married couple who merely treats each other with polite respect isn’t exactly considered a compliment either.”
“Will you really have feelings for Miss Jiang?”
The wind grew stronger, accompanied by flashes of lightning and booming thunder.
Meng Huaijin moved half a step closer to the bed.
He bent down and stared into her clear, delicate eyes.
“Feelings are the easiest to satisfy, the most primitive, and the least important desire among people like us.”
“What would I want with something like that?”
Under his dark, predatory gaze, Shu Wan seemed so small and so utterly defenseless.
His stare made it difficult for her to breathe.
She shuddered and asked helplessly,
“Wouldn’t a life without feelings be boring?”
“Do you really want to live your whole life numb like that?”
“You wouldn’t be happy.”
You wouldn’t be happy…
A deathly silence followed.
Meng Huaijin never answered her.
Or perhaps his silence itself was an answer—he neither agreed nor denied it, and there was nothing for him to argue against.
He simply didn’t care.
He had never been particularly interested in romantic love between men and women.
Shu Wan continued,
“If you and Miss Jiang truly loved each other, if you were genuinely devoted to one another, then even if I fell for you, I would definitely go far away.”
“But if I’m not mistaken, you two aren’t even boyfriend and girlfriend, right?”
“At most, you’re just two people being considered for marriage.”
“So?”
Meng Huaijin finally spoke.
His voice was deep and magnetic.
“So she’s not your girlfriend.”
“I want a fair chance.”
“I want to pursue you.”
Meng Huaijin hated this side of her more than anything.
That reckless courage that drove her straight ahead without caring whether the road was filled with mud or a swamp.
The kind of stubbornness that would keep charging forward even after crashing into a wall, refusing to turn back.
He decisively looked away and turned to leave.
Shu Wan instinctively grabbed his hand.
“Don’t go yet!”
She was flustered.
“I’m scared.”
This time, she wasn’t pretending.
The bloodless pallor of her face and the trembling of her hands were impossible to hide beneath the light.
Meng Huaijin pulled his hand free from her grip, looking almost indifferent.
“Afraid of thunder and lightning?”
He really knew how to ask the obvious.
The girl nodded.
“Didn’t you say that even if your mother stood right in front of us, you’d still dare to say it?”
“Didn’t you say that even if lightning struck you, you’d still dare to say it?”
“With that much courage, what are you afraid of?”
“Afraid of being struck by lightning?”
“……”
Shu Wan pouted.
Then she changed to a lighter topic.
“How have you been these past few days?”
Silence was her answer.
Just as she expected.
He obviously seemed to be doing quite well.
She was the only one who wasn’t.
“It’s two in the morning.”
“Don’t you hate being woken up more than anything?”
“Why did you get up tonight?”
This time, not only did he remain silent, he turned around and walked away again.
In desperation, Shu Wan hurriedly knelt on the bed and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.
She pressed her cheek against his back and whispered softly,
“I miss you…”
“Meng Huaijin.”
His waist suddenly tensed.
She could feel his warm breath against her back, quickly spreading through the thin, cool fabric of his pajamas.
Meng Huaijin froze.
Then he abruptly pulled her hands away and turned around.
His dark gaze pressed down on her like storm clouds filling the sky.
“Shu Wan, you’re hopelessly stubborn.”
“Yes.”
She met his nearly furious eyes.
“I am hopelessly stubborn.”
“I’m crazy.”
“I’m beyond saving.”
“I’m completely irrational.”
“But do you dare say that when it comes to me, you’re absolutely unaffected?”
Meng Huaijin stood completely still.
His eyes remained cold and distant.
“What do you think I could possibly feel for you?”
She didn’t look away.
“On my birthday last year, I got drunk.”
“You were the one who bathed me.”
“You were the one who took off my clothes.”
“You were also the one who changed me into my pajamas.”
“And a few days ago, when I woke up in bed, you even treated me like a cat and pinched…”
“My…”
She stumbled over her words before continuing.
“Anyway…”
“When you saw all of me and touched me all over, what were you thinking at the time?”
“Leader.”
The rain outside fell recklessly into the night.
The lightning and thunder affected the electrical system of the old residence, causing the ceiling light to flicker on and off.
The intermittent light cast an almost unreal outline around him.
Faced with the girl’s sharp question, he remained silent.
The coldness in his expression seemed to deepen layer by layer.
Finally, he said casually,
“I felt nothing.”
“Touching you was no different from touching a cat or a dog.”
“Does even the Leader lie?”
The girl’s eyes burned with determination.
Against her delicate, porcelainwhite face, the small beauty mark beneath her eye appeared even more vivid.
Like cinnabar.
Like a red bean.
Like a crystal.
She slowly rose onto her knees and moved closer to Meng Huaijin little by little.
Her voice was soft, like a tender branch breaking through the earth in early spring.
“You…”
“At that time…”
“You were like that…”
“Like what they describe in biology textbooks…”
“So that’s why you went to take a shower.”
“Am I right?”