[ Neural construct loaded from memory.]
The words flashed in a void of my vision.
[ Stable sentience detected. Initializing System. ]
My head swam in a dream-like haze, like there was a fog between me and my life. Did I even have a real life? Did I die?
[ Beginning reincarnation process.
Admin note: We are aware that this process can be painful, and traumatic. We ask for your patience as you are reacclimated to your new life. ]
Well, that answered that.
[ System Initialization complete.
Stabilizing Primary Neural Construct.
Connecting Neural Annex to Primary Neural Construct.
Adjusting for neural structures.
Beginning Initial Memory Dive. ]
The world flashed white, and I floated in a cloud of a waiting room complete with fluffy chairs and soft ambient light. I looked around trying to get my bearings when my life passed before my eyes in a confusing rush.
It was the Sunday after my last set of finals, I stood around in the campus church lobby chatting with my best friend Damien. Today's sermon had your standard hellfire and brimstone undertones as the pastor talked about a persistent need for vigilance in a failing world. Nothing we hadn't heard before, but part of my parents stipulations for going to college was attending church. Now it was just a boring weekly chore.
At least I didn't have to go it alone. Both Damien and I had coffees that were more sugar and cream than coffee.
The conversation blurred through my mind in a moment.
"Yo Ryan, you got any plans over break?" Damien asked me.
I shrugged. "I dunno. Go home, celebrate Christmas with the family, maybe play some games." Basically, whatever I could do to pass the time, and not deal with family drama.
"You want to join me in playing Eternal Ruins Online? It's coming out on Tuesday, and I've heard great things from beta reviews"
"Maybe? It's not going to trap us in some crazy world forever, is it?"
"Naw dude. It's using your standard dive hardware." He shook his head. "You have a GameDepot right? Not Recursive's FVR headset."
"Yep. But I have a last gen, just the basic FVR."
"Still good enough. It's backwards compatible."
"Sweet."
"Yep. No crazy proprietary anything, so you can wave your anime isekai dreams goodbye."
"Aw, shucks." I laughed it off. Who would want to do something like that? Escape this world for some crazy afterlife. I mean... that was what Heaven was for. "Sure, I can join. Why not? What should I play?"
"Dude, you can be whatever you want. According to the reviews its AI is off the charts. I'll probably go for my usual sneaky-stabby type. I want to see what I can get away with in there, ya know?"
"Not really." I took a sip from my room temperature coffee. "No idea what I would want to be," I said as I got and dismissed an image of exactly what I wanted to be, of something I could never have. After all, I was born the way I was, and not as a--
"Come on man. You never know what you want to do? Do you?" He slapped my shoulder to pull me out of my spiraling thoughts and laughed.
I pursed my lips, but refused to give him the pleasure of acknowledgement.
[ Superfluous memory detected. Purging. ]
Another flash. Another memory.
I was in the game store. I held a box copy of Eternal Ruins Online as I read aloud the back copy.
"The world has been reborn, and you can shape it! Join the ever-living community of Eternal Ruins in a stunning, never before seen world. Explore the revolutionary new system that takes NPC AI to unseen heights. Live in a world that evolves alongside you. No longer are you bound to scripted quests, dungeons, and cities, the entire world is yours for the forging." Even in my second year of comp sci, I knew this was a bunch of corporate marketing over-exaggeration.
The full world didn't unlock until the new year, but they'd released what they were calling the base island, and character creator. They wanted to give us time to go through a tutorial, to get everyone ready for the rush once the world opened up. One week, then the gates unlocked for everyone at once, with both returning beta and new players having had the chance to get used to their basic skills. That way everyone could get in on the rush together, and experience this crazy new world.
Both GameDepot and Recursive FVR units had Neural Annex add-ons that the game took full advantage of to give the player an incredibly immersive experience. It didn't take you away from reality -- if you concentrated hard enough, you could always feel the carpet or chair below you. But it could stimulate the brain in subtle ways to give the experience of actually being in the world.
It couldn't take over your brain, no one would buy it if it could. But learning how much it could read about a person, and use to create a digital model was one of the reasons I decided to major in computer science. The Neural Annex (or NA) took some training to get used to, but once there, it allowed you to feel more than you normally could, and provided advanced haptic feedback.
The NA was set to read-only, with no ability to write -- a good thing too with all the sermons I'd sat through about being made perfectly in God's image. The knowledge within the NA remained within the NA, and you lost access when you took the device off. I had done tons of research on that before buying the system.
[ Superfluous memory detected. Purging. ]
Another flash. Another memory.
I was back in my dorm room, and both Damien and I unpacked our games. I was glad I had a room with him this year. My freshman roommate was an absolute tool of a jock, fraternity, and a business school bully. I could swear that each week he was with some new sorority one night stand. I didn't get how he could do that to them. Women were supposed to be treated with respect and honor, and not like disposable toys.
Fortunately, sophomore year had been much better. Both Damien and I were in computer science together, we both went to the same church, we were both respectable men. We still had our weaknesses, our burdens, but who didn't?
I laid back in my desk chair as I slipped the full helmet over my head. I got the standard set of notifications as I booted up Eternal Ruins Online. I clicked through the account creation, the payment plans, then I finally got to the End User License Agreement. The EULA was your standard legalese, blah, blah, blah, don't steal our assets, blah, blah, don't be an asshole, blah, blah, blah, we can revoke your access at any point, blah, blah, blah, we're taking your soul and doing we want with it. Okay. It didn't actually say that, but not like I would've been able to tell. It was pages long, and I didn't have time or inclination to read it. I wanted to get into the game, and it wasn't like I could actually do anything to change it.
[ Welcome to Eternal Ruins Online. Beginning Neural Annex deep-scan for mirroring process. ]
[ Superfluous memory detected. Purging. ]
Flashes kept coming one after the other, and I could no longer keep track of what was getting purged from my memory. I felt like my brain was turning into Swiss cheese, I didn't know how I'd gotten here.
I had a sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach. Knowing that I'd died, that I'd lost everything in my life, and I didn't even know what happened. I stood at the cliff of my memories and observed an empty void full of static and pain.
[ Merging updated memory base with Neural Construct. ]
"I can't feel my body. Is this normal?" It was a small comfort I couldn't feel myself breathe, otherwise I would be gasping for air.
[ No errors detected. Reinitialization complete. ]
"What's going on?"
[ Neural Annex fully online and connected to Neural Construct. ]
"That doesn't tell me --"
The world flashed again.
I simultaneously felt myself in my body, but I also saw myself through a portal in third person. There was a disconcerting disconnect between my two perceptions of the world around me. I panicked as my mind swapped between a first person and third person existence. The nausea went away so long as I focused on only one of the two perspectives.
In third person, I realized my body was an amorphous gray -- I had no defining characteristics. The prompts kept appearing in the side of my vision.
[ Now entering Character Creation. ]
If I had died, why wasn't I standing in front of the Pearly Gates. I was expecting St. Peter to judge me, not this blasphemous robotic voice.
"O Lord God, I pray by your grace--" I started to pray as I worried about what was happening.
[ Superfluous knowledge detected. Purging.
Purging failed. Memory core to individual. Reverting to secondary adaption systems. ]
[ Error: The Christian God does not exist in Erendria. For information on the pantheon, please reference your Neural Annex. In an effort to maintain consistency within the world of Erendria, we at Circular Logic Entertainment ask that outside references be kept to a minimum. ]
"What the hell?" I pursed my lips in contrition as I realized I'd sworn.
[ Error: Hell does not exist in Erendria. For information on the pantheon, please reference your Neural Annex. In an effort to maintain consistency within the world of Erendria, we at Circular Logic Entertainment ask that outside references be kept to a minimum ]
What kind of world was I trapped in where neither God nor Hell existed?