The trek out of the jungle was long, but the man walked with a “predatory grace” that made the local monsters give them a wide berth.
As the trees thinned, the smell of damp earth and woodsmoke filled the air.
Ahead lay a humble settlement of huts made of reinforced clay and thatch—the village of Mud.
“Stop,” the man commanded softly.
He looked at Sora.
“From this point on, I am not a ‘Monster.’ To these people, I am simply a high-ranking Monster.
Don’t go shouting about my ‘true form’ unless you want to find your own breakfast for a month.” Sora nodded frantically, his hand resting on the hilt of his rusted blade.
As they entered the village gates, the chatter of the Goblin inhabitants died down.
They stared at the 7-foot-tall stranger in his magnificent black robes and the ethereal woman following him.
Two female Goblins stepped forward to intercept them.
They didn’t look like the scavengers in the woods; they carried themselves with the authority of leaders.
One was a woman of mature, dangerous beauty named Sofia, and beside her was her daughter, Mizuki, whose eyes were sharp with suspicion and curiosity.
“Halt, travelers,” Sofia said, her voice steady despite the overwhelming pressure she felt from the man.
“This is the village of Mud.
State your name and your business.” The man looked at the two women, then at the horizon.
He felt the last tether to his past life—the life of Haru Ryūzaki—finally snap.
He was ready for his ‘one more try’.
“My business is a bed and a meal,” he rumbled, his azure eyes locking onto Sofia’s.
“And as for my name…
call me Jee-shahn.
😉 PAGE 2 Jee-shahn stood in the center of the muddy path, his 7-foot frame draped in his new black-and-azure robes.
He looked at Sofia and Mizuki, then let out a sigh so long it sounded like he was deflating.
“So,” he drawled, his azure eyes wandering toward a nearby pile of hay that looked surprisingly soft.
“Is there a reason we’re standing in the rain, or is ‘dramatic staring’ the national sport of this village?” Sofia blinked, her authoritative stance faltering.
She had expected a “High-Rank Monster” to demand a tribute or a throne, not complain about the weather.
“My Lord Jee-shahn, we are merely cautious.
Travelers of your…
stature…
usually bring trouble.” “The only trouble I’m bringing is a severe case of back pain,” Jee-shahn replied, scratching his head.
He looked at the tiny blue lizard on his shoulder.
“Hey, you said this place had luxury suites.
All I see is mud.
I want a refund on this adventure.”The lizard chirped indignantly, while Sora, standing behind them, tried to look intimidating despite being covered in jungle burrs.
Mizuki stepped forward, poking a finger toward Jee-shahn’s chest—though she had to reach quite high to do it.
“If you want a bed, you have to earn it.
Our village is under a ‘Work-to-Live’ law.
No one sleeps for free.” Jee-shahn’s face went completely blank.
The idea of “work” seemed to physically hurt him.
He looked at Emiko, who was standing perfectly still, her white robes untouched by a single drop of mud.
“Emiko, did you hear that?
They want me to work,” Jee-shahn said, his voice thick with comedic despair.
“Me.
A Dragon.
Working.
This universe is clearly broken.” “Perhaps, my Lord,” Emiko said with a small, graceful smile, “they simply haven’t realized that your ‘work’ usually involves finding the shortest path to a nap.” Jee-shahn turned back to the two Goblin leaders.
“Look, Sofia, Mizuki…
how about this?
I’ll sit in your village and look ‘High-Ranking.’ That’ll scare off the local bandits, right?
That’s basically security work.
Now, show me where the pillows are before I fall asleep right here in the muck.” Sofia and Mizuki exchanged a look.
They had never met a monster so powerful-looking, yet so utterly useless in spirit.
“Fine,” Sofia sighed.
“We have a guest hut.
But don’t think this makes you our King.” “Trust me,” Jee-shahn muttered, already walking toward the nearest roof.
“Being a King sounds like it has way too many early morning meetings.
I’m retired from everything that requires a ‘Serious’ face.
😉 PAGE 3 The guest hut was essentially a glorified pile of clay with a thatched roof, but to Jee-shahn, it was a five-star resort compared to the damp jungle floor.
“Home sweet mud,” Jee-shahn muttered, ducking his 7-foot frame through the low doorway.
He didn’t even check for spiders.
He just flopped onto a pile of dry furs in the corner.
CRACK.
“Master!
You sat on my sharpening stone!” the tiny blue lizard shrieked, scurrying out from under Jee-shahn’s massive hip.
“It’s a lumbar support now,” Jee-shahn grumbled, not moving an inch.
“Go away.
I’m entering a state of deep meditation.
It’s a very advanced Dragon technique called ‘The Eternal Snore.'” Outside the hut, the peace was immediately ruined.
A group of burly Goblin enforcers were loitering by a well, and they had cornered a young, scrawny Goblin—Ryuki.
“Hey, Ryuki!
I heard your mom, Kaori, was asking for extra rations again,” one of the bullies laughed, kicking Ryuki’s bucket over.
“If you can’t carry water, you don’t get to eat.
That’s the law!” Jee-shahn groaned loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
He pulled a pillow over his head.
“Sora…
deal with the noise.
It’s vibrating my ‘meditation’ space.” Sora, who was busy trying to figure out how to hang his cloak, looked at the door and then back at the lazy man on the floor.
“Master, they’re bullying a kid and his mom.
Shouldn’t you…
you know…
be a ‘Lord’ about it?”Jee-shahn lifted one corner of the pillow, his azure eye fixed on Sora with total apathy.
“I am being a Lord.
I’m delegating.
That’s what high-ranking people do.
Now, go be a ‘wild hound’ or whatever and let me close my eyes.” Sora sighed, but his eyes lit up with that familiar survival spark.
He stepped out of the hut, crackling with a strange, dark energy.
Ten seconds later, there was a loud THUD, followed by the sound of several Goblins screaming and running away.
Ryuki stood there, trembling and covered in mud, looking at Sora in awe.
But his eyes quickly drifted to the open door of the hut, where he saw the giant man in black robes—Jee-shahn—who was currently trying to use a second pillow to block out the sunlight.
“Wh-who is that?” Ryuki whispered.
“That’s the Master,” Sora said, sounding a bit tired himself.
“He’s the strongest creature you’ll ever meet, provided you don’t ask him to do anything before noon.” Kaori, Ryuki’s mother, came running over to hug her son, her eyes wide as she looked at the “High-Lord’s” hut.
She bowed so low her forehead touched the mud.
“Thank you!
Thank you for the mercy!” From inside the hut, a mufled voice came from under a pile of furs: “You’re welcome.
Now keep it down!
Some of us are trying to be legendary over here!
😉 PAGE 4 Master,” Sora said, stepping back into the hut and shaking the mud off his boots.
“The kid and his mom are still standing out there.
They look like they’re waiting for an audience…
or a sacrifice.
What should I tell them?” Jee-shahn let out a sound that was half-sigh, half-death-rattle.
He rolled over, his 7-foot frame taking up nearly the entire floor space of the small hut.
“Tell them…
that if they want to pay me back, they can find a way to silence the crickets in this village,” Jee-shahn grumbled.
“They’re chirping in a very aggressive way.
It’s mocking my attempt at a midday slumber.” “I don’t think they can stop the crickets, Master,” Sora replied, leaning his notched blade against the wall.
Suddenly, the door creaked open just an inch.
Sofia and Mizuki were standing there, their expressions unreadable.
They had seen the bullies run away, and more importantly, they had felt the “pressure” that Jee-shahn didn’t even realize he was leaking through the walls.
“We aren’t here to talk about crickets,” Sofia said, her voice low.
“News travels fast in the lowlands.
A man of your size, dressed in High-Lord silks, walking into a place like this?
People are already whispering at the well.
By tomorrow, the ‘Mud Merchant’ and the nearby scouts will know a Lord has claimed a hut here.” Jee-shahn stared at the thatched ceiling.
“Whispering?
Why can’t people just mind their own business?
I came here for the ‘anonymity’ of the mud.
Now you’re telling me I’m trending?” “You’re a 7-foot-tall man with eyes like the deep ocean,” Mizuki noted dryly, gesturing to his azure gaze.
“You aren’t exactly blending in with the scenery, Jee-shahn.”Jee-shahn pulled the blanket over his face.
“This is a disaster.
If people think I’m a ‘Lord,’ they’re going to come here and ask me to settle disputes about goat-ownership or border-fences.
Sora, fetch me a mask.
A really ugly one.
Maybe people will leave me alone if they think I’m a cursed hermit.” Emiko, who had been quietly organizing the tea set in the corner, let out a soft, musical laugh.
“My Lord, the more you hide, the more they will seek.
It is the curse of your radiance.” “My ‘radiance’ is currently trying to take a nap, Emiko,” Jee-shahn’s mufled voice came from under the furs.
“Tell the village that if anyone wants to ‘see the Lord,’ they have to bring a gift of high-quality earplugs.
Otherwise, the Lord is ‘out of the ofice’ for the next century.” Sofia and Mizuki exchanged a look.
😉 PAGE 5 The sun began to dip, casting long, orange shadows across the mud.
Inside the guest hut, the atmosphere was thick with a very specific kind of tension: the tension of people waiting for a Great Leader to speak, while the “Great Leader” was actually just trying to find the “cool side” of his pillow.
“Lord Jee-shahn,” Sofia said, her voice echoing in the small space.
“If you aren’t here to conquer us, and you aren’t here to scout for an army…
then why are you here?
A man of your power doesn’t just ‘exist’ without a motive.” Jee-shahn sighed, finally sitting up and resting his elbows on his knees.
His black-and-azure robes fell open slightly, revealing the sheer physical presence of a 7-foot dragon-lord, even if his expression looked like he’d just been told he had to do his own laundry.
“Motive?” Jee-shahn repeated the word like it was a foul vegetable.
“My motive is to reach a state of total, undisturbed equilibrium.
The world out there is too loud, Sofia.
Everyone is shouting about ‘honor’ and ‘thrones’ and ‘bloodlines.’ I just want to be somewhere where the only thing I have to worry about is whether the soup is too hot.” Mizuki narrowed her eyes.
“So you’re a…
tourist?
A 7-foot-tall, high-ranking tourist?” “I prefer the term ‘Professional Relaxer,'” Jee-shahn corrected her, pointing a lazy finger.
At that moment, Kaori and Ryuki shufled back to the doorway.
Ryuki was holding something wrapped in a large, damp leaf.
“My Lord,” Ryuki squeaked, bowing so fast he almost tripped.
“Since you saved us…
and since you said you liked the soup…
my mother and I wanted to bring you this.
It’s…
it’s a ‘Mud-Trufle.’ They only grow in the deepest part of the swamp.” Jee-shahn looked at the dark, lumpy mushroom.
He could smell the rich, earthy aroma from across the room.
His stomach let out a roar that sounded like a hungry dragon, making the lizard on his shoulder jump in fright.
“Is it…
edible right now?
Or does it require ‘cooking’?” Jee-shahn asked, his eyes tracking the mushroom with more intensity than he’d shown for the Goblins’ threats.
“It needs to be cleaned and sliced, My Lord,” Kaori said softly.
Jee-shahn slumped back against the wall.
“Ugh.
Preparation.
The eternal enemy of the hungry.” He looked at Sora.
“Sora, you’re the ‘Survival Expert.’ Clean the dirt-candy.And Ryuki, if you find any more of these, bring them to me.
I might actually consider staying in this mud-hole if the snacks are this good.” Sofia watched this exchange, her jaw slowly dropping.
She realized that while every other Lord in the world was playing a game of “Eternal War” and “Conquest,” Jee-shahn was playing a game of “Highest Quality Snack with Lowest Possible Efort.” “You’re insane,” Mizuki whispered.
“I’m comfortable,” Jee-shahn corrected her, closing his eyes as Sora started cleaning the trufle.
“There’s a big diference.
😉 PAGE 6 The next morning, the sun struggled to pierce through the thick mist of the Mud Village.
Inside the guest hut, the smell of damp earth was replaced by something divine: the scent of wild herbs and simmering trufles.
Jee-shahn was still a horizontal monument of laziness on his fur rug, his long hair sprawled out like a dark fan.
He didn’t even open his eyes when he heard the soft clink of a wooden bowl being placed near his head.
“My Lord…
I have prepared the trufles with a bit of forest salt and mountain cream,” a soft, melodious voice whispered.
Jee-shahn cracked one azure eye.
Kaori was kneeling beside him.
In the soft morning light, her beauty was undeniable—her skin had a healthy glow, and her eyes held a “deep-seated honor” that made her look more like a forest queen than a village outcast.
“Is it…
hot?” Jee-shahn asked, his voice a low, gravelly rumble.
“Perfectly warmed, My Lord,” Kaori replied, a faint blush creeping onto her cheeks.
She watched the way his powerful hand reached for the spoon.
She had spent her life around Goblins who were loud, aggressive, and dirty.
Seeing this 7-foot “High-Ranking Lord” who was so calm, so quiet, and so…
incredibly lazy…
did something to her heart.
Jee-shahn took a bite.
He let out a long, satisfied hum that vibrated through the floorboards.
“Kaori…
if you were a dragon, I’d give you half my hoard for this recipe.
But since you’re a person…
you can just keep the kitchen.” Kaori bowed her head, her smile blooming like a wild flower.
“To cook for you is no burden, My Lord.
It is…
a peace I have never known.” “Good,” Jee-shahn muttered, already closing his eyes again after only three bites.
“Peace is the goal.
If you keep the soup coming, I might actually have to defend this hut from the wind.
That’s a lot of commitment, but for this cream sauce…
I’ll consider it.” Sora watched from the corner, leaning on his rusted blade.
He looked at the “Tomb Beauty” Emiko, who was watching the scene with a knowing, graceful smile, and then at Kaori, who was looking at Jee-shahn like he had hung the moon.
“Master is incredible,” Sora whispered to the tiny blue lizard.
“He hasn’t even stood up today, and he’s already got the best cook in the village ready to follow him to the ends of the earth.” The lizard let out a tiny, sarcastic chirp.
‘He’s not a genius, Sora.
He’s just hungry.’But outside, the “noise” was returning.
Sofia and Mizuki were approaching the hut again, and this time, they weren’t alone.
They were followed by a small group of villagers carrying baskets of fruit and curious expressions.
The gossip about the “Lazy Lord who loves Trufles” had oficially replaced the fear of the “Azure Monster.
😉 PAGE 7 The crowd outside the hut was growing.
It wasn’t an army or a mob; it was a gathering of Goblins holding baskets of wild berries, odd-shaped tubers, and even a very confused-looking swamp-chicken.Inside, Jee-shahn heard the mufled chatter and the clinking of baskets.
He pulled his blanket tighter, looking like a giant black-and-azure cocoon.
“Sora,” Jee-shahn’s voice came from the depths of the furs.
“What is that sound?
It sounds like…
socializing.” Sora peeked out the window.
“It’s the villagers, Master.
They heard you liked Kaori’s cooking, so they’ve brought ‘tributes.’ I think there’s a guy out there ofering you a very large pumpkin.” Jee-shahn shuddered.
“A pumpkin?
That requires carving.
Too much manual labor.
Tell them I’m currently ‘Ascending to a Higher Plane of Unconsciousness’ and cannot be disturbed.” Sofia pushed her way through the crowd and entered the hut, followed by a skeptical Mizuki.
Sofia looked at the 7-foot man-mountain hiding under a blanket and then at Kaori, who was happily cleaning another bowl for him.
“Jee-shahn,” Sofia said, her voice dripping with irony.
“You’ve been here less than twenty-four hours and you’ve already broken the village’s hierarchy.
My enforcers are confused because you didn’t punch them, and my citizens are bringing you groceries because they think you’re a ‘Gluttonous Deity.'” Jee-shahn popped his head out from the blanket, his azure eyes blinking slowly.
“A deity?
That sounds like a lot of responsibility.
Do deities have to answer prayers?
Because if someone prays for rain, I’m going to have to tell them that clouds aren’t on my payroll.” “They don’t want rain,” Mizuki sighed, leaning against a support beam.
“They want to know if the ‘Big Lord’ is going to protect them from the High-Rank scouts who usually come through here to steal our harvest.” Jee-shahn looked at Kaori, who was looking at him with those big, hopeful eyes—the eyes of a woman who finally felt safe because a giant was sleeping in her village.
Then he looked at the bowl of trufle soup.
“Listen,” Jee-shahn rumbled, finally sitting up with a yawn that could have shaken a mountain.
“I’m not a ‘protector.’ I’m a customer.
And right now, the service in this village is excellent.
If some ‘scouts’ come here and ruin the kitchen, they’re interfering with my meal plan.
And interfering with my meal plan…
is a very serious ofense.” He looked at Sora.
“Sora, tell the people outside that if they want to stay safe, they should just keep the noise down and the kitchen fires going.
If anyone comes to cause trouble, they can talk to the door.
I’ll be behind it…
probably napping.” Sofia smiled—a real, sharp smile.
She realized that Jee-shahn’s laziness was actually a shield.
He wouldn’t go looking for war, but he would end one if it woke him up.
“I’ll tell them,” Sofia said.
“But you should know, Kaori is already telling everyone you’re a ‘connoisseur of the soul.’ I think she’s forgotten you’re just a lazy Monster.” Kaori blushed a deep shade of crimson, quickly hiding her face behind a wooden spoon.
“I-I only said he has a very refined palate!” Jee-shahn didn’t notice the romance.
He was too busy looking at the pumpkin Sora was now dragging into the hut.
“Is that the pumpkin?
Fine.
We’ll keep it.
But someone else is deseeding it.
I’m oficially off the clock ;)PAGE 8 As the moons rose over the Mud Village, the air cooled, turning the humidity into a soft, clinging mist.
Most of the villagers had retreated to their homes, leaving the guest hut in a peaceful, flickering orange glow from the central fire pit.
Jee-shahn had finished his third bowl of trufle cream and was currently sprawled out on his back, one arm flung over his eyes.
His black robes had fallen open even further, showing the hard, defined lines of his chest and the faint, glowing azure veins that pulsed with dragon energy.
Kaori was still there.
She was supposed to have left an hour ago, but she found herself “cleaning” the same wooden ladle over and over just to stay in his presence.
The way the firelight played over his massive, relaxed frame made her heart race in a way that had nothing to do with gratitude.
“My Lord…” she whispered, stepping closer.
“The mist is heavy tonight.
It can be…
damp for your skin.
Would you like me to apply some of the warming oil we make from the fire-root?
It helps the muscles relax.” Jee-shahn let out a sleepy grunt.
“Warming oil?
Does it require me to stand up?” “No, My Lord.
You just have to…
stay exactly as you are,” Kaori breathed, her voice dropping to a velvety tone.
She knelt beside him, her fingers trembling as she opened a small ceramic jar.
The scent of cinnamon and heat filled the air.
She poured a small amount of the shimmering oil onto her palms, rubbing them together until they were hot, and then she placed them firmly on Jee-shahn’s broad shoulder.
Jee-shahn let out a deep, rumbling groan—not of pain, but of pure, lazy bliss.
“Oh…
that’s the stuf.
You’ve got magic hands, Kaori.
If I had known life as a ‘High-Lord’ involved professional massages, I would have woken up from that tomb centuries ago.” Kaori didn’t answer.
She was focused on the sensation of his skin—it was like touching warm marble.
As she moved her hands down toward his chest, her breath hitched.
Jee-shahn was so relaxed he didn’t seem to notice that her touch was becoming less about “muscle relief” and more about…
something else.
“You are so powerful,” she murmured, her face leaning closer to his as she worked the oil into his skin.
“So large…
so steady.” Jee-shahn opened one eye, looking up at her.
From this angle, Kaori looked breathtaking—her hair falling over her shoulders, her eyes dark with a hunger that wasn’t for trufles.
“You’re getting oil on my robes, Kaori,” Jee-shahn said, his voice low and teasing.
“Those were a gift.
If they get stained, I’ll have to ask Emiko to weave new ones.
And that sounds like a very long conversation I’m not prepared to have.” Kaori bit her lip, her hands pausing over his heart.
“Then perhaps…
we should take the robes of, My Lord?
To save the fabric?” Jee-shahn looked at her for a long beat, the “comedic apathy” in his eyes flickering with a spark of genuine heat.
“Taking them off requires unbuckling.
Unbuckling requires finger strength.
I’m currently at 2% battery life, Kaori.” He reached up, his massive hand gently catching the back of her neck and pulling her down just an inch closer.
“But…
if you’re willing to do all the work, I suppose I can manage to stay awake for a few more minutes.” Kaori’s breath fanned against his lips, her eyes widening.
Just as the tension reached a breaking point, the tiny blue lizard poked its head out from Jee-shahn’s hair and let out a deafeningly loud, high-pitched SNEEZE.ACHOO!
Jee-shahn blinked, the moment shattered.
“Bless you.
Or shut up.
One of the two.” Kaori jumped back, her face turning a bright, frantic red.
“I-I should check the fire!
Yes!
The fire needs…
more wood!” Jee-shahn slumped back into the furs with a lazy chuckle.
“The fire is fine, Kaori.
But the oil is nice.
Keep it close.
I think I’m going to like being ‘Lord’ of this kitchen.
😉 PAGE 9 The morning light hit the Mud Village with a dull, grey glow, but inside the hut, the atmosphere was much warmer.
Jee-shahn woke up slowly.
He felt something heavy and soft draped across his chest.
For a second, he thought Sora had finally bought him that luxury weighted blanket he’d been hinting at.
Then, he heard a soft, rhythmic breathing.
He cracked one eye.
Kaori was fast asleep, her head resting right on his sternum, her hand still clutching the jar of warming oil from the night before.
She looked incredibly peaceful—and incredibly in the way of his morning stretch.
“Kaori,” Jee-shahn rumbled, his voice deep with morning gravel.
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your pillow is currently trying to wake up and find some cofee.” Kaori’s eyes snapped open.
She realized where she was, saw Jee-shahn’s bare chest inches from her face, and let out a squeak that sounded like a startled bird.
She scrambled backward, tripping over a fur rug and landing in a heap of silk and embarrassment.
“My Lord!
I—I didn’t mean to—the oil—the fire—I must have fallen asleep!” her face was so red it practically glowed in the dark hut.
“It’s fine,” Jee-shahn said, sitting up with a heroic yawn that made his back muscles pop like firecrackers.
“You’re warm.
Better than a space heater.
But if you’re staying, you’re in charge of the breakfast logistics.” Just then, the door swung open with a bang.
Sofia and Mizuki marched in, followed by a very confused-looking Sora who was chewing on a piece of dried meat.
Sofia stopped dead.
She looked at the half-dressed Jee-shahn, the disheveled Kaori on the floor, and the lingering scent of cinnamon oil.
“I see the ‘Lord’ has been busy with…
diplomatic relations,” Sofia said, her eyebrow twitching.
“Diplomacy is exhausting, Sofia,” Jee-shahn said, not even reaching for his shirt.
He just leaned back on his elbows.
“We were discussing the strategic importance of…
uh…
skin hydration.
It’s a very high-level Dragon secret.
Don’t worry about it.” Mizuki rolled her eyes so hard it looked painful.
“We’re here because there’s a scout at the gate.
He’s from the ‘High-Rank Ogre’ tribe in the north.
He saw your ‘Shadow Warrior’—” she pointed at Sora— “and now he wants to know who the Master is.
He’s waiting in the village square.” Jee-shahn let out a groan of pure agony.
“A scout?
Already?
I haven’t even had my first carb of the day.
Sora, go tell him I’m a figment of his imagination.
Or tell him I’m a very tall, very grumpy hallucination caused by bad swamp water.””He says he won’t leave until he sees the ‘Azure Lord’ with his own eyes,” Sofia added, a smirk playing on her lips.
“Apparently, the rumor is that you’re a god of war who conquered the village in a single night.” Jee-shahn looked at his empty soup bowl, then at the blushing Kaori, and finally at the door.
“A god of war?
I’m barely a god of standing up,” Jee-shahn muttered.
He grabbed his black-and-azure coat, throwing it over his shoulders like a cape because buttoning things felt like too much work.
“Fine.
Let’s go see this Ogre.
But if he tries to start a monologue, I’m leaving halfway through.
I have a very strict schedule of doing nothing today.
;)PAGE 10 Jee-shahn shufled into the village square, his 7-foot frame looming over the Goblins like a walking mountain.
His hair was a mess, his coat was draped loosely over his bare, oiled chest, and he was currently rubbing sleep from his azure eyes with a look of profound annoyance.
Standing in the center of the square was the scout from Stoneheart.
He was an Ogre, nearly as tall as Jee-shahn, covered in grey, rock-like skin and wearing heavy iron plates.
He held a massive stone club that looked like it could crush a house.
The Ogre scout, whose name was Brog, stared at Jee-shahn.
He had heard rumors of a “God of War” in black robes.
He expected a warrior in a battle stance, radiating a “Symphony of Destruction”.
Instead, he saw a man who looked like he’d been hit by a very comfortable truck.
“You!” Brog roared, slamming his club into the mud.
“Are you the one they call the Azure Lord of Mud?
I am from the Stoneheart Tribe!
We rule the northern ridges!
State your purpose in these lands or prepare for—” “Can you lower the volume?” Jee-shahn interrupted, his voice a low, lazy rasp.
“My ears haven’t finished booting up yet.
You’re vibrating my skull, Mr.
Stoneheart.” Brog blinked, his stone-lidded eyes twitching.
“I…
I am challenging you!
People say you conquered this village!
People say you have a Phoenix at your side!” Jee-shahn leaned his back against a nearby wooden watchtower.
He didn’t even look at the Ogre; he was watching Kaori approach with a small piece of bread she’d saved for him.
“I didn’t conquer anything,” Jee-shahn said, taking a bite of the bread and nodding his thanks to a blushing Kaori.
“I’m just a tenant.
As for your ‘Stoneheart’ tribe…
sounds very heavy.
Doesn’t that hurt your chest?
You should look into some cardiovascular health.” “Do not mock the Stoneheart!” Brog screamed, raising his club high.
“Fight me, Lord of Mud!
Show me the power that terrified the Goblins!” The Ogre charged.
The ground shook.
The Goblins shrieked and scattered.
Sofia and Mizuki watched with bated breath, while Sora just sat on a nearby crate, looking bored because he knew how this would end.
Jee-shahn didn’t move.
He didn’t even take his hand out of his pocket.
As the Ogre swung the massive club down, Jee-shahn simply did a “nonchalant” side-step—the kind you do when you’re trying to avoid a puddle.The Ogre, carrying too much momentum and weight, missed completely.
His club buried itself three feet deep into the soft, wet mud of the square.
SLRRP-THWACK!
Brog tried to pull the club out, but it was stuck.
He pulled harder, his face turning purple.
Suddenly, the wood of the watchtower Jee-shahn was leaning on gave a tired creak.
Because Jee-shahn had put all his 7-foot-dragon weight against one specific rotten beam, the entire structure decided it was time to retire.
The watchtower tilted slowly, gracefully, and dumped a massive pile of wet thatch and heavy timber directly onto the Ogre.
CRASH.
Silence returned to the square.
All that was visible of the Stoneheart scout were two grey legs kicking feebly from under a pile of roof-scraps.
Jee-shahn looked at the wreckage, then at his now-muddy boots.
He let out a sigh of pure tragedy.
“Look at that.
Now I have to find a new place to learn.
And my boots are ruined.
This is exactly why I don’t do ‘Seriousness,’ Sofia.
It’s too expensive.” He turned to the stunned crowd.
“The show is over.
Someone digs the rock-man out and tells him that if he wants a rematch, he has to bring a pillow next time.
At least then he’ll have something soft to land on.
😉 PAGE 11 After the “Watchtower Incident,” Jee-shahn had managed to retreat to a small, private wash-area behind the guest hut.
It was just a wooden tub and a stone stove, but it was quiet.
Or, it was supposed to be quiet.
Jee-shahn sat on a stool, his long legs stretching across the floor, looking at his mud-caked boots with a face of deep mourning.
“My poor boots.
They didn’t deserve this.
They were innocent bystanders in the war against efort.” “Allow me, My Lord,” Kaori said, kneeling before him.
She had a bucket of warm water and a soft cloth.
Her eyes were bright, and she kept stealing glances at his bare shoulders.
“I will make them look as if they were forged by the gods themselves.” “You’re a saint, Kaori,” Jee-shahn muttered, closing his eyes.
“If I had to scrub these myself, I’d probably just walk barefoot for the rest of my life.” As Kaori began to gently wash the mud from his legs, the air in the small room grew warm.
Her touch was lingering, her fingers tracing the edges of his trousers with a shy, playful intent.
The “horny” tension from the morning was still very much alive in her heart.
Suddenly, the temperature in the room didn’t just feel “warm”—it felt divine.
Emiko stepped into the wash-area.
Her presence was like a cooling breeze and a burning sun all at once.
She looked at Kaori, then at Jee-shahn, her jade eyes shimmering with a quiet, knowing amusement.
“The village is celebrating your ‘crushing victory,’ my Lord,” Emiko said, her voice like silk.
She walked over and took a comb from a nearby shelf.
“Even the birds are singing about the Lord who moves mountains with a yawn.” “Tell the birds to take a day of,” Jee-shahn grumbled.
Emiko stood behind him and began to comb his long, dark hair.
Her touch was practiced and elegant, a stark contrast to Kaori’s nervous, admiring scrubbing.”The girl is quite dedicated, isn’t she?” Emiko remarked, looking down at Kaori.
Kaori looked up, her face flushing as she saw the Phoenix-Priestess.
“I…
I only wish to serve the Lord who saved my son!
I am not…
I am not trying to—” “It is alright, little one,” Emiko interrupted, her smile growing wider.
“Our Lord has a very large heart.
And a very large back.
There is plenty of room for those who know how to keep him…
comfortable.” Jee-shahn opened one eye, looking between his “Tomb Beauty” and his “Cook Wife.” The tension between them was thick enough to cut with a sword.
Emiko was clearly marking her territory as the First, while Kaori was desperate to prove she was the most useful.
“Are we finished here?” Jee-shahn asked, sensing the mood was getting a bit too ‘active’ for his liking.
“Because I feel a very important nap coming on.
It’s a 3:00 PM tradition.” “Not yet, My Lord,” Kaori said, her voice gaining a bit of courage as she looked at Emiko.
She reached for the warming oil again.
“Your calves are still…
very tense from that ‘battle.’ I must ensure they are properly massaged.” “And your hair is still tangled,” Emiko added, her fingers gently tugging a lock of his hair.
“A Lord must look regal, even when he is being useless.” Jee-shahn let out a long, dramatic groan as both women began to work on him at once—one at his feet, one at his head.
“This is it.
This is how I die.
Sufocated by luxury.
Tell Sora…
to remember me…
as a man who tried his best to do nothing.” Despite his complaints, a “mask of triumph” briefly crossed his face.
He had two beautiful women fighting over who got to pamper him, a village full of Goblins bringing him snacks, and a “Stoneheart” scout currently buried in a pile of wood.
Life in the Mud Village was finally starting to look up.
😉 PAGE 12 Jee-shahn was finally “dressed”—if you could call it that.
He had his black-and-azure coat pulled over his shoulders like a blanket, sitting on a stump outside his hut.
He looked like a king who had lost his throne and found a very comfortable piece of wood instead.
Sofia and Mizuki walked up, looking unusually formal.
“The village has prepared a feast,” Sofia announced, her arms crossed.
“Since you ‘defeated’ the Stoneheart scout with a single lean, the people think you’ve blessed the ground.
They’ve brought out the reserve ale.” “Ale?” Jee-shahn’s ear perked up.
“Is it the kind that makes you sleep for twelve hours, or the kind that makes you want to dance?
Because if it’s the dancing kind, I’m staying right here.” “It’s the kind that makes you forget your name,” Mizuki said with a smirk.
“Sold,” Jee-shahn muttered, standing up with a crackle of his joints.
At the center of the bonfire, Kaori was the star.
She had been cooking for hours, her face flushed from the heat of the flames.
When she saw Jee-shahn approach, her eyes lit up with a “deep-seated honor” that made the other Goblin women whisper in jealousy.”My Lord!” she called out, holding a platter of golden-brown meat glazed in a dark, sticky sauce.
“This is the ‘Night-Heron.’ It is only caught once a year.
I have prepared the heart-piece specifically for you.” She walked over, her hips swaying slightly—a move she had clearly practiced while Jee-shahn was napping.
She held a piece of the meat to his lips, her fingers lingering near his mouth.
Jee-shahn didn’t hesitate.
He took the bite, his azure eyes closing in a brief moment of genuine emotion.
“Kaori…
if this village ever catches fire, save the stove first.
Then yourself.
This is…
a religious experience.” Kaori giggled, her hand accidentally (or not) brushing against his jaw.
“Then I shall make sure the stove is always hot for you, My Lord.” Emiko appeared from the shadows, leaning against Jee-shahn’s other side.
She didn’t look jealous; she looked like a queen watching a kitten play.
She reached out and plucked a stray feather from Jee-shahn’s collar.
“It seems our Lord is becoming a local legend,” Emiko whispered, her voice carrying that divine heat.
“One wife to weave his clothes, and another to fill his belly.
What will you do when the third one arrives to wash your feet, Jee-shahn?” “I’ll probably fall asleep during the process,” Jee-shahn replied, taking a large mug of ale from a passing Goblin.
“It’s a very demanding lifestyle, Emiko.
I’m barely holding it together.” As the night went on, the ale did its work.
The Goblins began to sing—a low, rhythmic thumping that sounded like the heartbeat of the earth.
Jee-shahn found himself sandwiched between the elegant warmth of Emiko and the soft, eager presence of Kaori.
Suddenly, a shadow fell over the bonfire.
From the darkness of the forest trail, a group of massive figures emerged.
It wasn’t just a scout this time.
There were five Ogres, each one broader than the last, led by an old Ogre with a beard of moss and eyes like flint.
The village went silent.
Sofia reached for her dagger.
Mizuki stood in front of the children.
The old Ogre stepped into the light.
He looked at the wreckage of the watchtower, then at the 7-foot man in the black coat who was currently holding a chicken drumstick in one hand and a mug of ale in the other.
The Ogre didn’t pull a weapon.
Instead, he let out a sound like grinding stones and dropped to one knee.
“We are from Stoneheart,” the old Ogre rumbled.
“Our scout returned with tales of a Lord who defeats enemies by leaning against the wind.
He said you possess the ‘Quiet Strength.’ Our tribe is tired of war, Lord Jee-shahn.
We have brought a gift of Stone-Silk…
and we ask for the honor of sleeping under your shadow.” Jee-shahn stared at the giant Ogre.
He looked at the chicken leg.
He looked at the ale.
“Wait,” Jee-shahn said, his voice cracking with comedic disbelief.
“You want to join us?
Do you have any idea how much noise five Ogres make when they walk?
My nap schedule is already under heavy fire!” “We shall be as silent as the mountain, My Lord!” the Ogre promised, bowing his head lower.
Jee-shahn looked at Sofia.
“Is there more soup?” “For five Ogres?
No,” Sofia said, trying not to laugh.”This is a disaster,” Jee-shahn groaned, sliding back into his seat.
“I’m not a Lord.
I’m a landlord of a very loud apartment complex.
Fine.
Sit down.
But if I hear one stone-club hitting the ground while I’m dreaming, I’m taxing you in trufles.
😉 PAGE 13 The morning after the Ogres arrived, Jee-shahn found himself in a peculiar situation.
He was sitting on the porch of his hut, trying to enjoy the silence, but he felt four pairs of eyes watching him from diferent angles.
Sofia and Mizuki were standing by the village well, ostensibly “working,” but their gazes kept drifting toward the giant man in the black-and-azure coat.
“He’s…
unnervingly calm,” Mizuki whispered, her sharp eyes tracing the way Jee-shahn leaned his head back against the wood.
“Most Lords would be shouting orders at the Stoneheart tribe by now.
He’s just…
breathing.” “It’s not just calm, Mizuki,” Sofia murmured, a strange softness entering her voice.
“It’s confidence.
He doesn’t need to shout because the world seems to move around him anyway.” She felt a flutter in her chest she hadn’t felt in decades.
As a leader, she had always carried the weight of the village alone.
Seeing Jee-shahn’s efortless strength made her want to…
lean on him.
Meanwhile, Ryuki was standing a few feet away from Jee-shahn, holding a wooden practice sword.
He was shaking, partly from excitement and partly from the sheer “presence” Jee-shahn radiated even while resting.
“Master Jee-shahn?” Ryuki squeaked.
Jee-shahn didn’t open his eyes.
“If you’re here to ask me to move, the answer is a firm ‘maybe tomorrow.'” “No, My Lord!
I…
I want to be useful!
Like Sora!” Ryuki bowed so low his head hit his knees.
“I want to be your subordinate!
I’ll carry your pillows!
I’ll scout the mud!
I’ll do anything!” Jee-shahn opened one eye and looked at the scrawny but determined kid.
He looked at Kaori, who was nearby, watching her son with a mixture of pride and worry.
“Sora!” Jee-shahn called out.
Sora appeared from behind the hut, tossing a small stone in the air.
“Yes, Master?” “The kid wants a job,” Jee-shahn drawled.
“He’s oficially your problem now.
He’s the third subordinate.
His title is ‘Chief Assistant to the Nap-Master.’ Teach him how to stay out of the way and how to spot a good trufle from twenty paces.” Ryuki’s face lit up like the sun.
“I won’t let you down, Chief Nap-Master!” “Don’t call me that,” Jee-shahn groaned, closing his eyes again.
As Ryuki ran off to follow Sora, Sofia and Mizuki finally approached the porch.
They both looked a bit more “polished” than usual—Sofia had tucked a wild orchid into her hair, and Mizuki had cleaned the mud off her leather armor.
“Lord Jee-shahn,” Sofia said, her voice dropping to a lower, more intimate register.
“The Stoneheart leader wants to discuss the ‘shadow borders.’ But…
I told him you were busy with ‘state secrets.'” “Good call,” Jee-shahn muttered.
“The secret is that I’m trying to figure out if I can sleep sitting up.”Mizuki sat on the edge of the porch, much closer to Jee-shahn’s legs than necessary.
“You know, the villagers are starting to say that a Lord with four wives would be a sign of true stability for the high Lord.” Jee-shahn froze.
He looked at Mizuki, then at Sofia, then at Kaori in the distance.
“Four?
I can barely handle one lizard and a teenager.
Who’s the fourth?” Sofia stepped closer, her hand resting lightly on the porch railing near his shoulder.
“We’re still taking applications,” she said with a playful, dangerous glint in her eyes.
“But the village leaders usually get priority.” Jee-shahn stared at them.
The realization hit him: he wasn’t just building a village.
He was accidentally building a very beautiful, very persistent household.
“Emiko!” Jee-shahn shouted, his voice full of comedic panic.
“Help!
They’re talking about ‘priority’ and ‘stability’ again!
I think I’m being drafted into a marriage!
😉 PAGE 14 The afternoon was thick and humid, the kind of weather that made Jee-shahn feel like he was made of lead.
He had successfully moved from the porch to a large, flat rock under a willow tree near the edge of the village.
“The wind is moving at exactly 2 miles per hour,” Jee-shahn muttered to himself, his azure eyes half-closed.
“This is the peak of atmospheric performance.” But his peace was short-lived.
A shadow fell over him, followed by the scent of wild jasmine and damp earth.
Sofia and Mizuki were standing there.
Sofia was carrying a silk fan she had scavenged from her “treasure” chest, and she began to slowly wave it, creating a cool breeze for Jee-shahn.
Mizuki, on the other hand, was kneeling by his feet, examining his boots with a look of intense concentration.
“The air is stagnant today, Lord Jee-shahn,” Sofia said, her voice like velvet.
She leaned in a bit closer, her bodice pressing slightly against the air near his arm.
“A Lord shouldn’t have to sufer the heat.” “I was doing a great job of sufering in silence, Sofia,” Jee-shahn drawled, though he didn’t move away from the fan’s breeze.
“But I suppose a little extra air doesn’t hurt the ‘equilibrium.'” Mizuki looked up at him, her sharp Goblin features softened by a blush she was trying very hard to hide.
“Your boots have a loose stitch, My Lord.
If you walk too much, you’ll get a blister.
I…
I could fix them for you.
If you take them of.” Jee-shahn looked down at Mizuki.
The tough, warrior-leader of the Mud Village was ofering to do cobbler work just to get him to take his boots of.
“Mizuki, if I take these boots of, I’m never putting them back on,” Jee-shahn warned.
“That’s a level of commitment to barefoot living that I’m not sure the world is ready for.” “I’ll carry them for you then,” Mizuki whispered, her hand brushing against his ankle.
A few yards away, Ryuki was watching this with wide eyes.
He was holding a heavy bucket of water, trying to follow Sora’s instruction to “hold it until your shadow starts to sweat.” “Master is amazing,” Ryuki whispered.
“He’s just sitting there, and the Village Head and her daughter are treating him like he’s made of gold.”Sora leaned against the tree, picking his teeth with a splinter of wood.
“That’s the ‘Lazy Lord’ aura, kid.
The less he does, the more they want to do for him.
It’s a very high-level technique.
If you study hard, one day you might be able to sit still without falling over.” Kaori approached them, carrying a plate of chilled fruit.
She saw Sofia fanning him and Mizuki at his feet, and a small, competitive spark lit up in her eyes.
She didn’t say a word; she just walked up and popped a cold grape into Jee-shahn’s mouth before he could even protest.
“Is the fruit to your liking, My Lord?” Kaori asked, her voice sweet but firm, as she took her place on his other side, leaning her shoulder against his.
Jee-shahn chewed the grape slowly, looking at the three women currently surrounding his rock.
He felt like a man trapped in a beautiful, highly-perfumed prison.
“Emiko!” Jee-shahn called out, his voice cracking with that signature “never serious” panic.
“There’s a fruit-related conspiracy happening!
I’m being pampered against my will!” From the doorway of the hut, Emiko just waved a hand gracefully, her jade eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Enjoy your ‘conquest’ of the afternoon, my Lord.
It seems the Mud Village has decided that your comfort is the new law of the land.” Jee-shahn slumped back, defeated by the luxury.
“This empire is going to be the death of me.
I can feel my productivity levels dropping into the negatives.
😉 PAGE 14 As the village fell into a deep, muddy slumber, Jee-shahn decided it was time for his “Great Escape.” He had spent all afternoon being fanned, fed, and stared at, and his social battery was in the red.
“Sora,” Jee-shahn whispered, sneaking out of the hut with his boots in his hand to keep them from clicking.
“If anyone asks, I’ve gone to the astral plane to fight a space-dragon.
Don’t let them follow me.” Sora, who was busy trying to teach Ryuki how to sleep standing up, gave a lazy thumbs-up.
“Got it, Master.
I’ll tell them you’ve ascended.” Jee-shahn headed toward the outskirts of the village, where a natural hot spring bubbled up from the earth.
The steam rose in the moonlight, creating a private sanctuary of heat and silence.
Finally, some “me time.” He shed his black-and-azure coat, hanging it on a branch, and slid into the water with a groan of pure, unadulterated relief.
“Finally…
silence.
Just me, the water, and—” “And us, My Lord?” Jee-shahn’s azure eyes snapped open.
Emerging from the thick steam on the other side of the pool were Sofia and Mizuki.
They weren’t in their leather armor or leadership robes.
They were wrapped in thin, translucent silk wraps that clung to their curves in the damp heat.
“Sofia?
Mizuki?” Jee-shahn let out a long, tragic sigh, sinking deeper into the water until only his eyes were visible.
“Is there a village law against privacy?
I feel like I’m being hunted by the ‘Attention-Brigade.'””We are the leaders of this village, Jee-shahn,” Sofia said, her voice smooth and playful as she stepped into the water, the silk floating around her like a cloud.
“It is our duty to ensure the hot spring is…
at the correct temperature for a Lord.” Mizuki followed her mother, her face flushed but her gaze bold.
She sat on a submerged stone ledge just inches away from Jee-shahn’s shoulder.
“Besides, we had a ‘state meeting’ to finish.
About the ‘priority’ of your wives.” Jee-shahn looked at them—Sofia, the mature and dangerous beauty, and Mizuki, the sharp and fiery daughter.
The moonlight reflected off the water and their skin, creating a moment of intense, “spicy” tension that made even the “Lazy Dragon” feel a bit of a spark.
“Look,” Jee-shahn rumbled, his voice dropping an octave in the steam.
“I’m a very busy man.
I have at least six more hours of staring at the ceiling scheduled for tomorrow.
I don’t have time for ‘priority’ lists.” Sofia leaned in, her hand moving under the water to rest lightly on his submerged chest.
“Then don’t think of it as a list, Jee-shahn.
Think of it as…
a merger.
You bring the power, and we bring the…
stability.” Mizuki reached out, her fingers tracing the glowing azure scales near his collarbone.
“And the comfort.
We’re very good at comfort.” Jee-shahn felt the “never serious” side of his brain screaming for an exit strategy, but the “High-Ranking Monster” side was quite enjoying the view.
He let out a lazy chuckle.
“A merger, huh?
Does this merger come with a dental plan?
Because if I have to be a husband to half the village, I’m going to need a lot of perks.” “We can start with a ‘private session’ of negotiations,” Sofia whispered, her face inches from his.
Suddenly, a loud SPLASH came from the far end of the spring.
Ryuki had accidentally fallen in while trying to “scout” the area to make sure Jee-shahn was safe.
“Master!
I’m here to—oh!
Oh no!
I’m blind!
I’m invisible!
I’m leaving!” Ryuki scrambled out of the water, slipping and sliding in the mud as he ran for his life.
Jee-shahn slumped back against the rocks, the romantic tension broken by the sound of a teenager hitting the mud.
“And there goes the neighborhood.
Sofia, Mizuki…
if you’re staying, keep the talking to a minimum.
I’m oficially declaring this a ‘No-Speech Zone’ for the next thirty minutes.” Sofia and Mizuki laughed softly, moving to sit on either side of him, leaning their heads against his massive shoulders.
For the first time in his new life, Jee-shahn realized that while he didn’t want to conquer the world, the world was very much conquering him—one beautiful woman at a time.
😉 PAGE 15 The next morning, Jee-shahn didn’t wake up to the sound of birds.
He woke up to the sound of whispering.
Lots of it.
He opened one eye and realized he was back in his hut, but the door was wide open.
Outside, a line of Goblins and even a few of the massive Stoneheart Ogres were standing around, looking at the hut with newfound “respect.”Sora walked in, holding a skewer of grilled mushrooms.
He looked at Jee-shahn, who was still half-tangled in his black-and-azure robes, and let out a whistle.
“Morning, ‘Lord of the Spring,'” Sora teased, leaning against the doorframe.
“Ryuki came back last night looking like he’d seen a ghost…
or a very ‘active’ diplomatic meeting.
He’s been telling the village that you’ve ‘unified’ the leadership in the most traditional way possible.” Jee-shahn groaned, pulling a pillow over his face.
“I didn’t unify anything.
I was just soaking my bones.
The ‘leadership’ just happened to be in the same zip code.” “Well, the village doesn’t care about ‘coincidences,'” Sora laughed.
“They’re already taking bets on who gets the ‘First Wife’ title.
Sofia has the seniority, but Kaori has the kitchen advantage.
It’s like a civil war, but with more flowers and better hair-styling.” Suddenly, Kaori entered the hut.
She wasn’t blushing today; she looked determined.
She was carrying a bowl of soup that smelled so strong of ginger and “stamina-root” it practically made the air vibrate.
“My Lord,” Kaori said, her voice sweet but possessing a new, competitive edge.
“I heard you had a long…
exhausting night in the springs.
You must be depleted.
I have prepared a ‘Vitality Stew.’ It is guaranteed to keep your energy up for…
multiple meetings.” She sat on the edge of his bed, leaning in so close that Jee-shahn could smell the wild jasmine on her skin—the same scent he had smelled on Sofia and Mizuki the night before.
“Kaori,” Jee-shahn muttered from under the pillow.
“If I eat that, am I going to be able to nap?
Or is it going to make me want to climb a mountain?
Because I have a strict ‘No-Climbing’ policy.” “It will make you feel…
powerful,” Kaori whispered, her hand resting on his arm.
“Great.
Exactly what I don’t want to be,” Jee-shahn sighed.
Before he could take a sip, Sofia and Mizuki walked in, looking refreshed and remarkably smug.
Sofia looked at Kaori, then at the ‘Vitality Stew,’ and let out a soft, elegant laugh.
“Oh, Kaori, dear,” Sofia said, smoothing out her skirts.
“You’re so thoughtful.
But our Lord doesn’t need ‘vitality’ right now.
He needs rest.
After all, he was very…
occupied…
until the early hours of the morning.” Mizuki nodded, crossing her arms with a grin.
“In fact, we were thinking of declaring the hot springs ‘The Lord’s Private Chamber.’ By invitation only, of course.” Jee-shahn looked at the three women—the cook, the leader, and the warrior—all standing in his tiny mud hut, eyes locked in a silent, high-stakes battle over his “schedule.” “Emiko!” Jee-shahn yelled toward the corner where the Phoenix-Priestess was calmly sipping tea.
“Help!
I’m being ‘vitality-stewed’ and ‘private-chambered’!
I’m a victim of my own comfort!” Emiko just tilted her head, her jade eyes sparkling.
“My Lord, a Monster must eventually accept that his hoard isn’t made of gold…
it’s made of hearts.
And it seems yours is getting quite full.” Jee-shahn slumped back into his pillows, defeated.
“This is it.
This is the end of my lazy era.
I’m going to spend the rest of eternity being pampered into an early grave.
😉 PAGE 16 The tension in the hut was so thick you could have stirred it with a ladle.
Kaori held the “Vitality Soup” like a holy relic, while Sofia and Mizuki stood their ground like queens defending a border.
Emiko set her tea cup down with a delicate clink that somehow silenced the room.
She stood up, her white and gold robes flowing around her like a dream of ancient times.
“Ladies,” Emiko said, her voice a calm, melodic tide.
“While I admire your…
dedication to our Lord’s well-being, he is currently sufering from a very rare condition called ‘Too Many People Talking at Once.’ If he doesn’t get some air, I fear his skin might turn grey from the stress.” Jee-shahn looked at her with pure, unadulterated gratitude.
“Thank you, Emiko.
You’re the only one who truly understands the tragic fragility of my schedule.” Sora, leaning by the door, let out a snort.
“Fragility?
Master, your schedule has the structural integrity of a marshmallow.
But she’s right.
The Stoneheart Ogres are out there trying to ‘guard’ the hut, and they’re accidentally blocking the village’s main vegetable path.
It’s a mess.” Jee-shahn sighed, finally standing up and letting Kaori wrap a fresh sash around his waist.
“Fine.
I’ll go fix the ‘Ogre Trafic Jam.’ But only if I get to sit down while doing it.” He stepped outside, followed by his growing entourage.
The sight was ridiculous: A 7-foot Dragon-Lord in elegant robes, followed by a Divine Priestess, a Shadow Warrior, a blushing Cook, a Village Head, her Warrior Daughter, and a scrawny kid named Ryuki who was trying to carry Jee-shahn’s favorite footstool.
The Stoneheart Ogres saw him and immediately slammed their fists against their chests.
THOOM.
“Lord Jee-shahn!” the Ogre leader rumbled.
“We have secured the perimeter!
No bird shall chirp without your permission!” “That’s exactly the problem,” Jee-shahn muttered, squinting at the sun.
“I don’t want a perimeter.
I want a path.
You guys are standing in front of the cabbage delivery.
If the cabbage doesn’t get through, Kaori can’t make the soup.
If there’s no soup…
I might have to exert myself to find food.
Do you see the tragedy here?” The Ogres looked horrified.
“We have failed the Lord’s stomach!
Forgive us!” As the Ogres scrambled to move, Sofia stepped up beside Jee-shahn, her hand “accidentally” brushing his arm again.
“You have such a way with them, My Lord.
You lead without even trying.” “It’s not leading, Sofia.
It’s survival,” Jee-shahn corrected her, finally spotting a shaded bench and making a beeline for it.
Ryuki scrambled ahead, placing the footstool down just as Jee-shahn arrived.
“Here you go, Master!
Perfect elevation for maximum relaxation!” Jee-shahn sat, sinking into the shade.
“Sora, you’re in charge of the Ogres.
Emiko, you’re in charge of…
making sure no one talks to me for at least twenty minutes.
Kaori, the soup was great, but I think I need a ‘napping snack’ later.” Sora shook his head, looking at the kid.
“See that, Ryuki?
He just assigned everyone a job so he could sit under a tree.
That’s the real ‘Dark Magic.'” “I’m learning, Sora-sensei!” Ryuki said, taking out a little notebook.
“Step one: Delegate everything that isn’t breathing.”Jee-shahn closed his eyes, the cool breeze of the willow tree finally hitting him.
He had a village, a tribe of Ogres, a harem of beautiful women, and a staff of loyal subordinates—and all he had to do to keep them was…
stay exactly where he was.
“This,” Jee-shahn whispered to himself, “is a masterpiece of a lifestyle.
😉 PAGE 17 Just as Jee-shahn was reaching a level of relaxation that scientists would call “near-comatose,” a rhythmic thumping began to vibrate the ground.
THUMP.
THUMP.
THUMP.
Jee-shahn didn’t open his eyes.
He just let out a long, sufering groan.
“Sora…
tell me that’s an earthquake.
If it’s an earthquake, I don’t have to do anything.
If it’s people…
I’m going to be very upset.” Sora looked down the main path of the village, shielding his eyes from the sun.
“Bad news, Master.
It’s the ‘Stoneheart’ moving crew.
And they’re carrying something that looks like it weighs as much as a small mountain.” Four massive Ogres were lugging a giant slab of polished, midnight-blue stone.
It was a bed.
A literal stone bed, carved with ancient runes of “Cooling” and “Stability.” The Ogre leader, Brog, stopped in front of Jee-shahn and bowed so low his forehead cracked a floorboard.
“Lord Jee-shahn!
We noticed your hut had only furs and mud!
A Monster-Lord must sleep on the bones of the earth!
We have brought you the ‘Eternal Rest Slab’!” Jee-shahn cracked one eye.
The stone looked incredibly hard.
“Brog…
that looks like it would break my spine into twelve distinct pieces.” “It is the highest honor, My Lord!” Brog beamed.
Kaori stepped forward, looking at the stone bed with a critical eye.
“It’s very cold, Brog.
My Lord needs warmth and softness.” She looked at Jee-shahn with a shy smile.
“I can weave a mattress of cloud-grass to put on top of it.
It would be…
very supportive for your back.” Sofia stepped up on the other side, fanning herself slowly.
“And I have some silk drapes from the northern traders.
We could turn this ‘slab’ into a royal canopy.
It would look very…
‘High-Rank’ for when we have our evening meetings.” Mizuki just leaned against the stone, testing its strength.
“It’s solid.
Good for…
activities.
It won’t break no matter how much weight is on it.” She caught Jee-shahn’s eye and winked, making him cough into his hand.
Emiko glided over, her fingers tracing the runes on the stone.
She looked at Jee-shahn with that divine, knowing smirk.
“It seems the universe wants you to be comfortable, My Lord.
Though I suspect these ladies have their own plans for how this ‘slab’ will be used.” “I just wanted a nap, Emiko,” Jee-shahn whispered back, looking at the four women and the four Ogres currently redesigning his bedroom.
“How did a nap turn into an interior design project?” Ryuki was busy trying to help the Ogres, though he looked like an ant trying to help elephants.
“Master!
I’ll make sure the pillow-to-stone ratio is perfect!
Sora-sensei told me that a subordinate’s first duty is to ensure the Master’s head never touches a hard surface!”Sora just shook his head, leaning against a tree.
“I never said that, kid.
I said ‘don’t let him get grumpy.’ But sure, go with the pillow thing.” Jee-shahn watched as his tiny hut was transformed into a Den of Luxury by a group of people who were all secretly (or not so secretly) in love with him.
He realized he was no longer a traveler.
He was the anchor of this village.
“Fine,” Jee-shahn sighed, closing his eyes again.
“Move the mountain into my room.
But if I hear a single hammer strike while I’m dreaming, everyone is grounded.
😉 PAGE 18 Jee-shahn took a quick glance around his tiny hut, which had transformed into a den of luxury.
His tired eyes settled on the newly installed Eternal Rest Slab.
It looked less like a bed and more like a sacrificial altar for a very sleepy god.
Without a shred of efort, he let his 7-foot frame fall onto the cold stone, exhaling a breath that sounded like a collapsing mountain.
“Sora,” Jee-shahn muttered, his eyes already closed.
Sora, standing faithfully beside the slab, leaned in.
“Yes, Master?” “Seeing those Ogres work so hard…
it has made me exhausted.
Make sure no one disturbs me for twenty-two minutes.
No…
make it until tomorrow.” Sora blinked, a dry smirk crossing his face as he realized his Master was tired just from watching people work.
“Understood, Master.
I’ll tell the world you’ve entered a temporary state of non-existence.” Hours passed in the blissful silence of the den.
Jee-shahn lay on his stomach, his face buried in a plush pillow, his body finally finding a rhythm of pure relaxation.
The “Sacrificial Altar” was doing its job perfectly.
Suddenly, the soft click of the door opening and closing cut through the silence.
It was Emiko.
Jee-shahn didn’t move, but the sound itself felt like a heavy chore.
Emiko looked down at the relaxing Lord with a divine smile.
She sat gracefully on the edge of the slab and began to massage his muscular back.
“That feels good, Emiko,” Jee-shahn rumbled into his pillow.
“But you know I am tired…
so much.” Emiko leaned down, her face inches from his ear, her voice sweet as holy bells.
“I know, my Lord.
I thought a massage from your First Wife would make you more comfortable.” Jee-shahn let out a faint, lazy smile.
“I think so…
I’m getting a little more comfortable.” Emiko continued her work, her hands moving with a rhythmic grace.
“You are becoming very popular, My Lord.
Not just the Mud Village, but the Stoneheart women are all talking about the High-Ranking Lord.” Jee-shahn, deciding to tease her without even lifting his head, murmured, “So?
Is there any village with a woman more beautiful than my wife?” Emiko’s cheeks pufed out in a tiny pout of playful anger.
She leaned closer, her lips brushing the shell of his ear.
“I have waited a long time for you to wake up, My Lord.
I don’t mind sharing the others…
as long as you remember who was there in the dark with you.”Jee-shahn, still unmoving, eyes closed in the abyss of relaxation, whispered with a warm smile, “I know.” At those two words, a brilliant light flickered in the room.
On Emiko’s right arm, a beautiful, shimmering crystal ring appeared, glowing with a soft, eternal light—the mark of her Soul-Bond.
Emiko stopped her hands, her eyes shimmering with tears of joy as she cradled her right hand with her left, staring at the symbol of her union with the Monster.
But the moment of happiness was shattered.
The door was thrown open with a violent BANG.
Jee-shahn’s peace was murdered.
His eyes snapped open—not with alertness, but with a death-stare of pure, frustrated anger.
He didn’t even stand up; he just turned his head toward the door while still lying on the slab, his gaze enough to freeze the blood of a god.
An Ogre stood in the doorway, trembling, his eyes darting between the shimmering, happy Emiko and the terrifying, death-glaring Jee-shahn.
Behind the massive Ogre, a woman stood—6 feet and 7 inches of sleek, slate-colored beauty.
This was Tara, her amethyst eyes wide as she took in the scene of the “Lord” in his private sanctum.
Tara looked at the shimmering ring on Emiko’s arm, then at the muscular, oiled back of the man who looked like he wanted to end the world by waking him up.
“I…
I was told the Lord was accepting visitors,” Tara rumbled, her voice small for an Ogre.
Jee-shahn’s gaze didn’t soften.
“Who told you that?
I want their names…
and I want them to carry me to the next place as punishment.
🙂 PAGE 19 Jee-shahn kept his sharp death-stare fixed on the Ogre who had just kicked the door open with the subtlety of a falling mountain.
The Ogre began to sweat so much it looked like he was standing in a rainstorm.
He glanced at Emiko, who was still mesmerized by her shimmering marriage ring, and then back at the terrifyingly still man on the slab.
Finally, Jee-shahn spoke.
His voice was lazy, frustrated, and carried a slightly creepy, bored smile that made the Ogre’s skin crawl.
“Can you…
close the door…
before we both die of the draft?” Jee-shahn whispered.
The Ogre didn’t wait.
He nodded frantically, his eyes wide with fear, and scrambled out of the den.
He pulled the door shut just as the beautiful, 6’7″ Tara was about to enter.
Jee-shahn let out a long, tragic breath and buried his face back into his pillow.
He was ready to return to his “Eternal Rest,” but the world had other plans.
Through the wooden walls, a low, mufled conversation could be heard.
The Ogre scout barked something to Tara—likely calling her “useless” again—and then his heavy footsteps faded away.
Then, the light in the room died.
Tara had sat down right next to the door, her massive, beautiful body covering the entire window.
A soft, pathetic sobbing sound began to vibrate through the wood.
Snif…
uuuh-huuu…Jee-shahn didn’t move.
He stayed face-down on his stomach, hoping the “cloud” would float away.
It didn’t.
“Emiko…” Jee-shahn groaned into his pillow.
The First Wife didn’t react.
She was still lost in the shimmering abyss of her own happiness, staring at her ring with glowing eyes.
“Sora…” Jee-shahn’s voice was even more tired now.
Sora appeared beside the slab, casually chewing on a trufle.
He looked at the glowing Emiko, the dark window, and then his Master.
“Yes, Master?” “I think…
somewhere outside…
a cloud is crying,” Jee-shahn muttered, his voice thick with laziness.
“It’s raining on my porch.
Can you tell them I’m trying to meditate on the meaning of ‘nothing’?” Sora looked at the door.
“Master, that’s not a cloud.
That’s the Stoneheart Chief’s daughter.
She’s currently blocking your light and watering your porch with her tears because she thinks she’s been rejected.” “Rejected?
How interesting,” Jee-shahn sighed.
“People get so emotional over the funniest things.
Sora, go tell the ‘rain-cloud’ that if she doesn’t stop, the wood will rot.
Tell her if she stays quiet, I’ll consider ‘tasting’ whatever she brought in that bag.” Sora chuckled and opened the door.
Tara looked up, her amethyst eyes red.
She entered the room with the silence of a mouse, despite her size, and knelt in the corner.
Hours passed.
The smell of something delusional—a rich, Stoneheart recipe—filled the air.
Jee-shahn’s eyes snapped open.
He didn’t sit up; he just followed the scent.
Tara stood there, blushing purple, presenting a steaming plate.
Jee-shahn took a bite, his eyes glazing over with food-bliss.
“Tara…
you’ve done it,” Jee-shahn said, his mouth full.
“You’ve made a dish that actually makes me want to stay awake for another five minutes.
You are a genius of laziness.” Just then, a cold, small weight shifted in Jee-shahn’s hair.
His Lizard Subordinate lifted its head, its eyes glowing.
“Master…
I have returned,” the lizard hissed.
Jee-shahn swallowed his bite.
“Yes, I know.
Tell me…
did you find what I asked for?” The lizard rubbed its head and smiled.
“Yes, Master.
At the end of the jungle crossing, there is a city called Mossburrow Hills.
It is famous for its hunters, its leather, and its Wolf-Kin rulers.
But more importantly…” The lizard leaned in.
“I heard that near the city of Iron, they sell beds made of soft leather.
Beds that feel like sleeping on a cloud.” Jee-shahn froze.
A soft leather bed?
In a city of Iron?
“How far?” Jee-shahn asked, his voice losing its tired edge for a split second.
“If we take the mountain pass, it’s not far from the trade-hub of Iron,” the lizard replied.
Jee-shahn let out a long, satisfied breath.
“Sora…
pack the pillows.
We’re going to find that bed.
If I have to walk across a mountain to find a place where I can truly do nothing, I might actually stand up.
🙂 PAGE 20 Jee-shahn sat on the edge of the Eternal Rest Slab, blinking in confusion at the 6’7” slate-colored beauty still standing nervously by his bed.
He tilted his head, his hair messy from his nap.
“You’re still here?” Jee-shahn asked, his voice a lazy rasp.
“Didn’t you go back with that big chubby guy?
The one who likes kicking doors?” At his words, Tara didn’t just cry—she collapsed to her knees, her massive frame shaking as a waterfall of tears hit the floor.
Emiko finally drifted back from the bliss of her soul-bond.
Seeing the giant girl weeping, she reached out and traced the line of Jee-shahn’s jaw with a slender finger.
“You’re very cruel with your words, My Lord,” she whispered with a divine, sharp smile.
“Master is terribly cruel,” Sora added, leaning against the wall and shaking his head.
“I’m not cruel, I’m honest!” Jee-shahn protested, looking around for his pillow.
“She came for a food review, didn’t she?
I told her it was good.
Now she can go home.””I have no home!” Tara wailed, her voice a beautiful, deep rumble.
“My mother passed away when I was born…
My village hates me because I am not muscular or strong.
When my Father returned from meeting you, he said a High-Ranking Monster was resting here who loves food.
He said you were my best match!
He sent me with my little brother—the one you scolded so hard!
He told me to wait until your anger cooled…
if I return now, I will be rejected by everyone!” Sora and Emiko both gave Jee-shahn a look so cold it could have frozen a volcano.
“Pure soul,” Sora muttered.
Emiko stood up and wrapped her arms around the towering Ogre, hugging her to her chest to calm her down.
“He is always like this, Tara.
You aren’t going anywhere.
You are family now.” Then, Emiko turned her face toward Jee-shahn.
She wore a creepy, wide smile that sent a genuine chill down his spine.
“Isn’t she, My Lord?” Jee-shahn felt a cold sweat break out.
“Yes…
indeed!
I was joking!
How could I let my second beautiful wife and Head Chef go?
Your food is incredible!
Stop crying, we’re leaving soon!” Sora let out a dry laugh.
“It’s the Master’s entire philosophy, Tara.
He’s the world’s greatest disappointment, but look how happy he is.” “Sora!” Jee-shahn barked, his face turning a light shade of red.
“Didn’t I tell you to prepare for our departure?” Sora jumped, startled by the rare tone.
“Yes, Master!
We are ready in a few hours!” He vanished instantly to finish the packing.
The Departure A few hours later, the “carriage”—which was actually a reinforced merchant wagon pulled by a massive unicorn-beast—stood ready.
A female Goblin sat in the driver’s seat, gripping the reins with pride.
Jee-shahn finally stood up.
It was a slow, agonizingly lazy movement, as if gravity were personally ofended by his efort.
He stepped onto the porch, the Lizard perched firmly atop his head like a living crown.
Beside the wagon, the Goblins and Ogres of the Mud Village cheered.
The Stoneheart Chief stood at the front, giving Jee-shahn a cheerful, hopeful smile.
Jee-shahn responded with a death-glance that made the Chief’s smile instantly vanish into a nervous sweat.
Jee-shahn climbed into the carriage, where Emiko, Tara, Sora, Kaori, and little Ryuki were already settled.
He looked back at Mizuki and Sofia, who stood at the village gates.
“Mizuki, Sofia,” Jee-shahn called out.
“Keep the mud quiet.
If I come back and there’s a mess, I’m making you both do the laundry for a year.” “Yes, My Lord!” they shouted in unison, their eyes burning with loyalty.
Jee-shahn collapsed into a pile of furs inside the wagon.
“Sora, wake me up when the scenery becomes ‘interesting.’ Or when Tara starts the next meal.
Until then, I do not exist.” The wheels began to turn, creaking as they left the Mud Village behind.
The journey toward the Mossburrow Hills and the promise of a soft leather bed had finally begun.