After lighting the oil lamp in the main room, Xu Changqing saw her father heading toward her grandparents’ room in the east wing.
She hesitated for a moment before deciding to go back to her own room in the dark.
It wasn’t that the stinging in her palm made her resentful of her grandmother for hitting her.
It was just that, at that moment, she wouldn’t know what to say if she had to face her.
As she passed the West Outer Room, Xu Changqing made a point to walk quietly.
Her grandmother was one thing; she’d already smacked her palm and wasn’t the type to keep nagging her about it.
Her mother, on the other hand, was different.
Perhaps because she’d never had a son, it was clear that in recent years her mother rarely went out to visit neighbors like she used to when Changqing was a child.
As a result, her mother had become more talkative and prone to nagging.
Whenever the slightest thing happened, she would grab the two sisters and lecture them endlessly.
To her mother, a falling-out between her two daughters was a monumental event.
She would never let it go until she had nagged them about it for what felt like an eternity, until Changqing was utterly terrified of hearing it again.
In the West Room, bathed in moonlight, Bai Xiulan was propped against the wall on the brick bed, her hands resting on her large belly.
Watching her daughter tiptoe in, she coughed lightly and asked, “You’re back?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you go see your uncle in private again?”
At these words, Xu Changqing, who was reaching for the matchbox to light the oil lamp, froze.
“I did.
I can’t let my uncle get into trouble for my sake.
It’s not worth it.”
‘This mouth of yours.
You either keep it shut or you spout the most ridiculous nonsense!
With your uncle’s temper, it would be a miracle if he actually pulled strings to get your brother-in-law back to the city!’
Bai Xiulan rolled her eyes at her daughter, speechless.
“So you weren’t rushing over to kick him while he was down?”
“Is that the kind of person I am in your eyes?”
‘This damned girl has quite a temper,’ Bai Xiulan thought.
“You won the fight and you’re still playing the victim?
With a temper like yours, you’re bound to get yourself into serious trouble one day.
And cracking his head open?
What if your hand had slipped?”
“I had it under control.”
“Now you’re just being contrary?” If she weren’t afraid of disturbing the elders and her husband in the rooms across the way, Bai Xiulan would have climbed off the bed to discipline her right then.
“Is someone’s head something you can joke about?”
‘If she had slipped and actually killed him, she wouldn’t just lose one daughter.
Both of her girls would have been ruined by that boy, Fang Jun…
Pah, pah, pah!’
Xu Qiguang was just leaving the east room to return to his own when he heard his wife lecturing their daughter in the West Room.
His steps faltered, and he decided not to go in just yet.
“No matter how you look at it, you were in the wrong.
First of all, you were wrong to start a fight with no one else around.
What would you have done if you couldn’t win and he’d beaten you up instead?”
‘That makes sense,’ Xu Qiguang thought, nodding to himself.
“Secondly, he’s a man and you’re a girl.
What are you looking at?
Don’t give me that look.
A girl is a girl.
You think you can turn into a man?
Ha!
Can you pee standing up?”
‘Can’t even praise her for a second before she starts talking nonsense,’ Xu Qiguang thought.
He suddenly wanted to laugh, remembering a funny story from his younger daughter’s childhood.
His Changqing had always wished she’d been born a boy.
“And another thing, have you even considered this?
If something had happened to you, if you’d actually killed your brother-in-law, how do you expect your grandparents, your father, and I to go on living?”
“Mom!” Xu Changqing couldn’t stand hearing that.
She could no longer remain silent.
“Can’t you say something positive for once?
Why do you have to be so morbid?”
“Shh!
Keep your voice down, your grandparents haven’t gone to sleep yet.
Morbid?
You want to talk about morbid?
Look at this mess you’ve made!
Just you wait.
Your sister is guaranteed to show up tomorrow morning, crying her eyes out!”
“…Don’t let her in.”
“Are you really going to cut ties with her?”
“It’s her or me…” Xu Changqing began, but her gaze fell on her mother’s swollen belly, and she couldn’t bring herself to say ‘you have to choose.’ “…Never mind.
We can talk about this some other time.”
Xu Qiguang sighed to himself.
“Oh, Changqing.” Bai Xiulan stroked her belly.
“Besides the baby in here, she’s the only full sister you have.
I spoiled her, I know.
But she’ll come to understand one day…”
Xu Changqing quickly cut her off.
“I understand.
I won’t get involved.
I’ll let you and Dad handle it.
As long as she leaves me alone, I promise I won’t make things difficult for you.”
But that was as good as saying nothing.
Given the two sisters’ tempers, it was always the younger one who ended up backing down.
Bai Xiulan opened her mouth, but for a moment, she was at a loss for words.
At the doorway to the West Room, Xu Qiguang finally broke the silence.
“Let’s just go to sleep.
The girl’s been through enough for one day.
Can’t whatever you have to say wait until after the baby’s born?”
“Fine.
We’ll sleep.”
Sleep?
The brick bed in the West Room faced a writing desk with a row of three drawers.
On it sat a neat stack of textbooks, an enamel mug, and a wicker basket.
Above the wicker basket, a mirror hung in the center of the wall.
It was an addition Xu Baimei had relentlessly pestered them into buying before she was married.
Later, after a corner of the mirror chipped, she decided she didn’t want it anymore.
She set her sights on a new one with a colorful, flowery pattern around the frame, so the chipped one was left behind.
‘Had she ever made a fuss about it?’
‘She had never let it bother her.
Just as her mother said, she only had one older sister.
Forget one mirror; even if her sister had taken both to her own little home, it wouldn’t have mattered.’
‘She had even wanted to be the one to support the family, thinking that if the day ever came when her brother-in-law could return to the city and decided to abandon her sister, she would be the one to protect her.
She wouldn’t let anyone bully her sister for not having a brother to back her up.’
‘But what was the result?’
‘It had nothing to do with any dream.
Today, a single, resounding SMACK had finally woken her up completely.
As it turned out, she, Xu Changqing, had lost her only sister long ago.’
‘What kind of sister blames you for all her misfortunes?
What kind of sister, whenever she’s the least bit unhappy, snidely remarks, “You must be so proud.
Everything in this house will be yours now”?’
‘What kind of older sister would, in front of everyone, fly into a rage and scream, “What have you got to be so proud of?
With your pathetic little schemes, you think you can take over this family?
Even Heaven couldn’t stand to watch you, so it let Mom get pregnant!”‘
‘She had always believed that in a family like theirs, full-blooded sisters should have no secrets or grudges.
She’d thought her sister was just unhappy and taking it out on her.
If she needed to curse her out a bit, so be it.
It wasn’t like she was a stranger.’
‘Who knew she’d been so naive?
Every time she had backed down out of goodwill, it had been seen as a sign of guilt.
What she had dismissed as her sister just venting her anger were not just thoughtless words after all.’
“…Forget it.
The kids are grown now, it’s not your fault.
If anyone’s to blame, it’s me.
I failed in my duty as a father…”
“…I never imagined…
not in my wildest dreams…
It’s good for her to suffer a little…
don’t worry…
She won’t learn her lesson otherwise…
I’m serious…”
“…Her palm…”
“…I knew it…
sulking…
You can’t blame Mother for it…
She’s [Changqing] the one who makes us proud…
The older one…
what can we do…
It’s not like we can just ignore her and pretend it’s not happening…”
“…It’s enough to make me cough up blood…
I’m not happy about it either…
Her heart is just twisted…
No, the older one is a lost cause.
It’s better for the younger one to stay away from her…
that person…”
“Nonsense…
She came by the other day, I think…
Said she was asking about my due date…
Why are you asking about this now…
It’s not like you just suddenly remembered…
Fine…”
Letting out a long sigh, Xu Changqing sat down at her desk.
Hearing her parents’ hushed whispers from the outer room, she blew out the oil lamp and leaned back limply against her chair.