When they arrived in the county town, Xu Changqing was about to ask her dad which way to go when she suddenly heard him mention heading to the department store first.
She didn’t object, though her heart ached at the thought of the expense.
‘What could we possibly be doing at the department store right after getting into town?
It must be because of that person he mentioned last night we were going to see today.
He probably wants to buy some gifts before visiting them.’
‘See?
I specifically mentioned it before we left.
The fruits and vegetables in our little garden are growing so well, and city folk love that kind of stuff.
We could have easily brought more.’
‘But Dad was against it, which is exactly why I said we shouldn’t have come with an empty basket.
What kind of place is a department store anyway?
It’s a place where you spend money the moment you walk in, a place where an impulse buy leads to instant regret.’
Seeing his daughter shoot him a reproachful look, Xu Qiguang was secretly amused.
He didn’t tell her that he had already exchanged for a good number of cloth coupons at his work unit before coming home.
He just wanted to go to the department store first to see what they had in stock.
‘I have to admit, I’ve been negligent,’ he thought.
‘I always thought of my Changqing as still being a little girl.
Seeing how happy she seemed to be wearing her older siblings’ hand-me-downs, I just let her be.’
‘For that reason, I even thought that since the elder one was too vain, it was better to raise the younger one rough, like a son.
But it turns out I’ve been careless.
My Changqing doesn’t have a single new padded jacket—just an army greatcoat.’
And that greatcoat was a hand-me-down from her sister, so worn it had faded, with the cotton padding inside all lumpy and stiff.
As for the new coat she’d just gotten for the New Year, her sister had probably taken that away too.
Looking closer now that he was back, he realized things were even worse.
Yesterday, she had been wearing a long-sleeved shirt with two new patches on the elbows.
Today, she had at least changed into an unpatched shirt and pants for their trip out, but they were too small for her.
The white shirt she wore was starched and washed spotless, whiter than snow, but that couldn’t hide its age, nor the fact that it was only just long enough to cover his Changqing’s small frame.
‘What does this mean?
It means the child hasn’t had a single new piece of clothing made for her during her growth spurt these past two years.
If I’m not mistaken, even this white shirt was one of my own old ones, altered to fit her.’
Although he had gone along with his younger daughter’s wishes to be raised like a boy, he had never intended to be so careless as to raise her so “rough” that she had to wear nothing but hand-me-downs.
Xu Qiguang couldn’t be bothered to investigate where all the fabric he usually brought back for her had gone.
Given his Changqing’s temperament, she had either given it to her sister or secretly traded it for something else behind his back.
This was the only department store in the county, and it was a whole level more impressive than the commune’s co-op.
It was a two-story building of gray bricks and dark tiles, looking very grand.
Inside, there were quite a few counters.
They weren’t at all like the ones at the commune’s co-op, where countertops were just a few wooden planks laid over stacks of mud bricks.
The variety of goods was also much more extensive.
The first floor of the store sold non-staple foods, fabric and wool yarn, clothes, pants, shoes, and various other daily necessities.
The second floor sold sewing machines, transistor radios, and the bicycle Xu Changqing always had her eye on.
Perhaps because it was noon in the height of summer, or because it wasn’t a Sunday, or maybe because fewer people were in town buying wedding supplies during the wheat harvest, the department store, which was usually so crowded you had to shove your way through, didn’t have many customers.
Xu Changqing snatched the carrying basket from her dad’s hand, hoisted it onto her back, and followed closely behind him toward the fabric and wool yarn counter without so much as a glance to either side.
Before they even got close, Xu Qiguang realized he’d been negligent about something else.
It wasn’t just fabric and cotton his Changqing was missing—in a cabinet against the wall behind one of the counters ahead, all sorts of wool yarn were on display.
‘My Changqing doesn’t have a single new sweater!’
Compared to the fabric section—where the selection was almost entirely drab shades of black, gray, and blue, and the occasional roll of green or patterned cloth was snatched up the moment it appeared—the wool yarn came in many more colors.
‘They’re a vibrant rainbow, so eye-catching.
The bright red, sapphire blue, and sky blue would all be perfect for my steady Changqing.’
‘As for the yarn I brought home before, the little rascal hadn’t secretly traded it away this time.
Instead, the elder one played a little trick, intentionally having their mother knit the sweater too large so she could keep it for herself.’
‘And Changqing?
Did she understand what was happening?’
‘When it came to cunning, the elder one ran circles around her.’
‘The child understood everything perfectly.
She just didn’t want to fight.
She was afraid of making a scene and having people laugh, so she “happily” wore her sister’s old sweater.’
‘And what happened to that old sweater?
Before she had even worn it for a month, her sister took it back, using the excuse that the weather was about to get warmer, and unraveled it to re-knit something else.’
‘Now, forget about it being re-knit into anything recognizable; we don’t even know where a single strand of that old yarn is.
Needless to say, that good-for-nothing undoubtedly carted it all off to her own home.’
At this thought, Xu Qiguang could only shake his head grimly.
Why else do they say the squeaky wheel gets the grease?
He a-strongly disapproved of how his mother and wife, all for the sake of “harmony,” always made the younger one give in.
He had a stepson of his own, and he himself was the son of a stepmother.
He was a husband who owed a great debt of gratitude to his father-in-law.
For a variety of reasons, he often had to give in even when he didn’t want to.
That was his burden to bear.
‘But my Changqing is different.
She doesn’t owe anyone anything.
Her only misfortune was being born as my, Xu Qiguang’s, daughter.
She shouldn’t have to walk the same path of endless compromise that I do.’
At that moment, Xu Qiguang had no intention of asking for his daughter’s opinion.
With a grand gesture, he pulled out a handful of industrial coupons and money.
In one breath, he asked for two pounds of bright red wool yarn, a pound each of sapphire and sky blue wool yarn, four pounds of magenta blended yarn, and another four pounds of navy blue blended yarn.
Hearing these amounts, the corners of Xu Changqing’s mouth twitched.
‘What a splurge!
Are we just going to throw all our money away?
If I didn’t know Dad was a respectable man, I would seriously suspect he’d been bewitched by the faint scent of vanishing cream wafting from the pretty salesgirl at the counter.’
After ordering the yarn, Xu Qiguang went ahead and had the salesclerk behind the counter write up a ticket for fabric as well—he asked for ten feet of white cotton with a small floral print, and another ten feet of blue work cloth.
‘If I hadn’t been limited to the number of cloth coupons I could get at my work unit this time, I would have bought even more.
Especially after seeing my Changqing finally fight back yesterday, I have an even stronger urge to go on a shopping spree for her.’
‘Before, even if I bought things for the younger one, she was never able to keep them.
It really wasn’t easy for her.
For this child to finally lose control of her emotions and raise her hands to fight back against her own sister—it truly wasn’t easy.’
‘Because of this, I’ve even worried that there was something wrong with her upbringing.
With such a repressed personality, if she were to get married and be taken advantage of by her in-laws, would she just habitually give in, again and again?’
‘Of course, I’m not some cruel stepfather; how could I not hope for my two daughters to love and support one another?’
‘But if the foundation of that harmony is built on one person who takes a mile for every inch given and still harbors resentment, while the other is forced to compromise for peace with no more room to retreat, then I would rather not have it at all.’
He was thoroughly disappointed in his eldest daughter, Bai Mi.
Time and time again, she refused to change.
‘I hope she won’t be so greedy this time, that she’ll finally learn some boundaries,’ he thought.
‘Otherwise?’