“Ah! Aba…”
There was a chorus of exclamations all around. Xiao Yaba, who was nearby, stretched his neck trying to catch a glimpse of the new bride’s face, but a bandit uncle next to him grabbed his shoulder, spun him around 180 degrees, and then looked around at the other bandits, who were all turning their necks away from the couple in front.
“You brat!”
The bandit uncle, reeking of alcohol, gave Xiao Yaba a hard slap on the head. “That’s someone else’s wife, what are you rushing to look at?”
“Wife… wife, what’s wrong with you?”
Zang Liujiang, reeking of alcohol, was half scared away, his tongue tied and not working properly. They all said the bride’s veil should be lifted by the groom, so why was he in such a hurry?
“Hero, good man! Listen to me.”
Yu Huishui couldn’t care less about the bandits surrounding him. They were already at the door, and if he really entered the bridal chamber, he wouldn’t be able to explain himself even with two hundred mouths.
He grabbed Zang Liujiang’s collar and shook him hard, looking pitiful. “I’m a man, you’ve kidnapped the wrong person!”
Zang Liujiang’s head was full of mush. He turned to look at his brothers, who were all turned away, then looked back at the bride in his arms. The alcohol had numbed his brain, and he opened his mouth, unable to process what was happening for a long time.
A man… wasn’t this his bride?
A familiar figure pushed through the bandits, running over in a hurry, shouting like a firecracker.
“What are you all standing here for! Why aren’t you entering the bridal chamber? You’re going to miss the auspicious time!”
It was the old lady who had stripped Yu Huishui of his clothes and mocked him for not having a body.
The old lady had also heard Yu Huishui’s words and rushed over, pushing Zang Liujiang towards the house.
“Boss! Don’t listen to his nonsense! The bride is just shy and throwing a tantrum. Even if he’s a man today, once he’s in the bridal chamber, he’s still your wife!”
Zang Liujiang’s head full of mush fermented, the alcohol fumes clanging around, and with the old lady’s firecracker-like explosion, he was instantly dazed.
Right, wife.
Zang Liujiang had a wife now!
He was no longer a bachelor!
“Auntie.” Zang Liujiang turned back and gave the old lady a deep look, his face full of satisfaction.
“What you said…”
“Is absolutely right!”
Right about what!
Yu Huishui didn’t have time to refute, as the bandit leader holding him bent down, scooped him up by the legs, and tossed him over his shoulder, striding into the room. Amidst the uproar, the old lady followed with a smile, locking the door with a click.
She turned her head and fiercely scolded the drunken bandits.
“Go back, go back! Is the food on the table not enough, or is the wine in the house not fragrant? What are you making a fuss about!”
A few unwilling ones made some noise outside the room but were pulled back by others to continue the feast.
The boss had finally gotten married at his age, and they, as brothers, couldn’t add to the chaos, right?
With a bang, Yu Huishui was thrown onto the bed, crushing a pile of peanuts and longans into powder, making a muffled crunching sound.
He sprang up like a carp, making Zang Liujiang miss his target.
“Hero! Good man! Let’s talk this out!”
Yu Huishui crouched down along the bedpost, wary of the bandit pouncing again. Fortunately, Zang Liujiang’s pounce was too forceful, and his ribs hit the bed edge, making him gasp in pain, temporarily losing his previous momentum.
“I’ve told you many times, you didn’t listen, so it’s all your fault.” Yu Huishui raised a hand to shield himself, preemptively defending himself.
“I’m really a man. If you insist on entering this room, who knows what kind of shadow it’ll leave on you.”
Seeing that Zang Liujiang didn’t interrupt him, Yu Huishui began to persuade earnestly.
“Wait a minute…”
Zang Liujiang finally caught his breath, rubbing his ribs as he sat down, looking up at Yu Huishui on the bed.
“You’re really a man?”
Yu Huishui held up three fingers. “Absolutely true!”
Zang Liujiang’s brows furrowed into a character, staring at Yu Huishui, making him feel uneasy. Yu Huishui chuckled awkwardly, rubbing his hands. “Didn’t you… check when you brought me back?”
“How could I!”
Zang Liujiang glared, slapping his thigh. “That would be indecent!”
What a righteous bandit. Yu Huishui clicked his tongue in admiration.
Zang Liujiang finally came to his senses, rubbing his chin and muttering, “Oh boy… this is quite the joke.”
He pushed himself up from the ground, standing up nimbly, dusting off his clothes as he paced around the room. “But the villagers all gave gifts this afternoon, and the food and eggs have been eaten tonight, so they can’t be returned…”
His eyes fell on Yu Huishui crouching in the corner of the bed, and with a few strides, he was at the bedside, giving Yu Huishui a hard slap on the forehead. “Why didn’t you say so earlier!”
Yu Huishui, unprepared, was knocked off balance, landing on the bed, his forehead instantly turning red.
“The bandits blocked the mountain road and kidnapped people for marriage. I didn’t say anything, and now you’re blaming me for not saying it earlier. Did you give me a chance?”
Seeing that he could reason, Yu Huishui’s tone became harsher. In broad daylight, he, the victim, hadn’t even protested, and the perpetrator was turning the tables. It was outrageous. If he ever held an official position, he would definitely lead the soldiers to flatten this mountain.
Indeed, it was reasonable. Zang Liujiang was at a loss for words, pacing around in anger. “Fine, alright, I can’t argue with you.”
He suddenly climbed onto the bed, trying to lift Yu Huishui’s bridal skirt. “Are you really a man?”
Yu Huishui was startled, quickly pressing down on his skirt. “Didn’t you say you wouldn’t look? Looking makes you indecent! Why would I lie to you! Hey, you!”
Zang Liujiang, relentless, used his strength to lift the skirt and peeked at the truth beneath the undergarments, finally letting go with a sigh, falling at the foot of the bed, rubbing his head. “Why don’t you have an Adam’s apple?”
It’s not Zang Liujiang’s fault. His nineteen years spent in a bandit den, he’d only seen burly men with prominent Adam’s apples. Even Xiao Yaba had a small round bump on his neck.
“How would I know? Probably because my dad doesn’t have one either.” Yu Huishui covered his skirt tightly, rolling his eyes at Zang Liujiang’s back.
“Probably?” Zang Liujiang turned to look at him. “You don’t have a dad?”
That sounded like an insult. Yu Huishui glanced at him, not responding. “I’ll pack up and leave tomorrow. I’m in a hurry to find my big brother and the others.”
“Leave?” Unexpectedly, Zang Liujiang stood up and opposed. “You can’t leave!”
“Why?” Yu Huishui was full of confusion. “I’m not a girl, the whole wedding ceremony doesn’t work on me!”
“How does it not work!” Zang Liujiang was anxious. The bride he had in his grasp turned out to be a man, and now this male bride wanted to fly away?
Yu Huishui was amused by his anger. “Hero, you wouldn’t…”
“The bride running away the day after the wedding, I can’t afford to lose face like that.” Zang Liujiang spoke as if it was a matter of course. A man should be able to stand tall and bend when necessary, but he couldn’t let the bride run away.
“Do you know what kind of people have runaway brides? The old drunkards down the mountain, the petty thieves, the pockmarked ones who cover their sores with powder, and the ones who used to be abusive…”
Zang Liujiang blocked Yu Huishui from getting off the bed, shouting at the top of his lungs. “The runaway bride can’t be me, Zang Liujiang! That would be a joke for miles around!”
Yu Huishui gritted his back teeth, a fierce look appearing on his pale face, but he still patiently offered a suggestion.
“Then just say you were too heroic at night, and the bride couldn’t bear it and passed away!”
Zang Liujiang, hearing this, thought this wasn’t a scholar, but someone who wrote erotic novels. He shook his head like a rattle.
“No way, what would people say about me then?”
“If this doesn’t work and that doesn’t work, what do you want to do?”
Yu Huishui forgot he was facing a bandit, his temper flaring up, he was fierce to anyone. Even Fu Cong and Fu Ming at home occasionally got teased by him, let alone this unreasonable bandit.
“The wedding ceremony doesn’t work for you… but it works for me!”
Zang Liujiang stood in front of the bed, his eyes bright as he looked at him. “So many people saw us get married, I won’t be able to find a wife anymore.”
But that wasn’t my choice.
Before Yu Huishui could argue further, the next second, his face was cupped by a pair of large hands, meeting Zang Liujiang’s eyes in the red glow of the fire. Those hands were still hot like coals, the thumbs brushing past Yu Huishui’s eyes. Although the movements were gentle, the hands were so rough that Yu Huishui couldn’t help but frown.
Zang Liujiang spoke, “You’re good-looking… I’m willing to let you be my wife. Everything will be the same, I’ll definitely treat you well. On this mountain, you can have whatever you like. As long as I have a bite to eat, you won’t go hungry. What do you think?”
Yu Huishui was both amused and speechless, laughing in disbelief. “You and I can’t have children, you’ll end up with no descendants.”
Zang Liujiang waved his hand nonchalantly. “I have no parents, so having no descendants is fine! If it really doesn’t work, we can go to my big brother’s house and bring one back!”
“Stop joking.”
Yu Huishui slapped his hand away, getting up to pack his belongings. “You’re willing, but I’m not. I think I won’t wait until tomorrow, I’ll leave tonight. Let’s just say we became sworn brothers. Once I finish my exams, I’ll come back to see you if I have time.”
“No way!”
Zang Liujiang went to pull him, his hands and feet heavy, in a hurry, he hugged Yu Huishui and threw him back onto the bed. “You’re going to take the imperial exam? All your books were left in the mountains, what are you going to use to take the exam!”
“How did they end up in the mountains? Weren’t they brought along?”
Now it was Yu Huishui’s turn to glare.
“You hit your head on a tree and passed out. Busy saving your life, there was no time to pick up the books.” Zang Liujiang said matter-of-factly, leaving Yu Huishui speechless.
“I’ll go to the mountains to find them for you, but let me say first, those bundles were probably dragged away by animals, so it’ll take some effort to find them.”
Zang Liujiang didn’t read those scholarly books, but he knew they were important to scholars. Seeing the hesitation on Yu Huishui’s face, Zang Liujiang pressed on.
“You just stay here, I’ll send someone to the town to buy new books for you. They might not be as good as the ones you use at home, but it’s better than nothing.”
Yu Huishui wasn’t necessarily attached to those books, but they contained exam questions and notes from private tutors that he hadn’t had time to go through. If any of those questions appeared on the exam, he’d regret it.
Weighing the pros and cons, Yu Huishui hadn’t had time to think it through when there was a noise outside the door.
“Hey, why is there no sound?”
“Yeah, they say the bridal night should be lively, why is there no sound at all?”
Someone was eavesdropping at the wall!
The local customs were indeed rough. The old lady had driven people away to continue the feast, but some had come back to listen to the commotion.
Yu Huishui was about to lose his temper when Zang Liujiang, quick as a flash, was all smiles and nods, just short of kneeling by the bed to massage Yu Huishui’s legs. His face was full of flattery.
He was handsome and young, and with Yu Huishui’s soft-heartedness, it was a winning combination.