Yu Huishui and Zang Liujiang were locked in a silent staring contest, each trying to outdo the other. Eventually, Yu Huishui had to concede to Zang Liujiang’s brute strength.
“My books are really important, you better find them all for me!”
Yu Huishui gritted his teeth, like a rabbit ready to bite, and fiercely whispered in Zang Liujiang’s ear, “Did you hear me?”
“Of course, of course.”
Zang Liujiang nodded vigorously, glanced at the shadows outside, cleared his throat, and shouted, “Wife! It’s time for us to drink the nuptial wine!”
Since he had agreed, Yu Huishui saw no reason to be coy. Seeing Zang Liujiang eagerly pouring the wine, he took it properly, waiting for Zang Liujiang to clink glasses with him.
After waiting for a while, Yu Huishui noticed that Zang Liujiang wasn’t drinking and kept winking at him. Confused, he whispered, “What are you doing? Drink up.”
“Say something, they’re listening outside.”
Zang Liujiang, experiencing this for the first time, felt that the wedding ceremony needed some back-and-forth dialogue, otherwise, it wouldn’t feel complete.
“Uh… what should I say?”
Yu Huishui, also entering the bridal chamber for the first time, glanced at the shadows outside the window, scratched his head, and pretended to raise his voice, “Good… good wine!”
Why shout about good wine!
Zang Liujiang regretted letting Yu Huishui speak, quickly clinked glasses with him, linked arms, and downed the wine in one go.
Outside, the eavesdropping bandit villagers chuckled, saying the new couple’s window was entertaining, and today it was indeed amusing.
A burly man with a shiny bald head proudly pointed at himself with his thumb, “Did you hear that? The bride said my family’s wine is good! I prepared all of it!”
“What do you mean your wine is good? The bride is just being polite!”
A bandit rolled his eyes and leaned closer to the window, “Our leader looks strong, can this little wife handle it?”
After a moment of silence, the candlelight inside suddenly went out, followed by the sound of the bed creaking and the bride’s low voice, “What are you doing?” The bed frame creaked loudly.
“Oh my, oh my, how embarrassing!”
An aunt blushed, turned around, and retreated with her old friends, giggling as they walked back to the feast.
“They say young people don’t know how to do things, but I think they do!”
“Won’t be long before there’s good news! I better go prepare a gift!”
In the dim room, Yu Huishui lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling the bed shake beneath him, his pale face full of melancholy.
“Hero…” He turned to the edge of the bed, watching Zang Liujiang shake the bed frame with one hand, his youthful face showing a hint of excitement at discovering something fun.
“Hero, being too proud will cost you dearly.”
Zang Liujiang looked up at him, his sharp eyebrows and bright eyes meeting Yu Huishui’s gaze. He continued his actions, lowering his voice, his face serious, “If a bandit isn’t proud, what kind of bandit is he?”
Zang Liujiang not only shook the bed frame but also reached out to tug at Yu Huishui’s clothes, urging him to make some noise, “Don’t just lie there, shout something.”
Yu Huishui knew exactly what kind of noise he meant. He turned back onto the bed, and after being tugged a couple more times by Zang Liujiang, he sighed deeply and shouted:
“Ah—hero—”
“Call me husband!”
“…Ah—husband—”
Yu Huishui rolled his eyes hard, thinking viciously that he would lead the soldiers to flatten this place and vent his anger from today. Only then did he continue, “Husband, you’re amazing—”
“What are you doing!”
A voice shouted from outside; it was the old woman in the red jacket returning to chase people away. After some laughter and commotion, they finally left under the old lady’s pressure.
Zang Liujiang and Yu Huishui listened intently for any more noise outside. When they heard no one else coming, they both breathed a sigh of relief.
Letting go of the bed frame, Zang Liujiang climbed onto the bed, squeezing Yu Huishui to the side. The peanuts and longans under the mattress crunched and shattered.
“Not bad acting.” In the dark room, Zang Liujiang’s eyes were still bright, staring at Yu Huishui on the inside, his eyebrows curved with a smile.
“You acted pretty well too.”
Yu Huishui was dizzy from his shaking, not understanding why this man had endless energy. But being looked at with such anticipation by Zang Liujiang, he couldn’t help but tease.
“Tomorrow, the leader’s fame will spread, congratulations.”
“Hahaha!” Zang Liujiang still liked Yu Huishui’s personality, and looking at his face, he could taste some sweetness. He laughed heartily, while Yu Huishui, annoyed by Zang Liujiang’s shamelessness, turned away from him. After some playful banter, they both fell asleep.
Zang Liujiang had a sweet dream, where his beautiful wife, dressed in wedding clothes, lay in his arms, allowing him to kiss and touch her. Her soft hands and fair face made Zang Liujiang feel dizzy with happiness.
Just as Zang Liujiang was holding his wife, dreaming of a wonderful life, the warm and soft figure in his arms suddenly changed face and cursed, “You shameless!” and started scratching him fiercely.
“Ouch!”
Zang Liujiang suddenly opened his eyes, seeing a pair of hands viciously trying to gouge his eyes out. Startled, he flipped off the bed, touching his face, which was indeed sore. Was that not a dream?
Woken up by Zang Liujiang’s touch, Yu Huishui, unable to scratch his eyes, furiously tried to chase him off the bed. Looking up, he saw the bandit standing stark naked in front of him.
Yu Huishui never expected to see such a scene, quickly covering his eyes, thinking that seeing this would surely give him a stye, and these eyes would be useless.
Last night, Yu Huishui slept early. He was weak, tired, and had hit his head on a tree. A frail scholar couldn’t withstand such exhaustion.
In his sleep, a thief came to steal his things, with dishonest hands moving from his butt to his waist, then to his chest. Yu Huishui couldn’t stand being taken advantage of and fought back fiercely.
When he woke up, the culprit was still holding him, touching him in his sleep.
Who wouldn’t be angry? Anyone would be!
“Put your clothes on!”
Yu Huishui gritted his teeth, a few curses swirling in his mouth, finally settling on the lightest one: “Thick-skinned!”
Zang Liujiang was used to sleeping naked, finding it comfortable and free. Probably due to the alcohol from last night, he had stripped himself clean in his sleep.
Knowing he was in the wrong, Zang Liujiang quickly climbed back onto the bed to put on his clothes. Just as he was about to tell Yu Huishui to change out of his wedding clothes, he remembered that his wife’s two bags of clothes were left on the mountain, likely already divided by wild animals.
Yu Huishui’s gritted teeth and angry look made Zang Liujiang’s heart itch. He wanted to tease Yu Huishui, but feared being scratched again in anger.
Forget it, forget it, getting scratched right after the wedding wouldn’t look good to others.
Zang Liujiang abandoned his morning intimacy plan, called out to Yu Huishui, and happily left the room.
Hearing the wooden door close, Yu Huishui peeked through his fingers, confirming that Zang Liujiang had left. He then moved to the wardrobe to search.
The clothes he changed out of yesterday were inside, just as the bandit leader said. Besides these clothes, all his luggage was left on the mountain.
How ridiculous!
The more Yu Huishui thought about it, the more annoyed he became, rubbing his fair face with his hand.
If he had known he’d face this disaster, he wouldn’t have been lazy when Fu Cong and Fu Ming wanted to teach him horse riding. He should have spent more time in the sun and wind, toughening up, and avoiding today’s misunderstanding.
Quickly putting on his clothes, Yu Huishui listened at the door, gently pushing the wooden door, surprised to find it opened with a creak.
Aren’t they afraid I’ll run away?
It was very cold outside, with strong winds on the mountain and the winter snow just fallen. Caught off guard by the wind, Yu Huishui shivered violently.
Running out like this, he’d freeze to death in the mountains.
Considering the possibility of escape, Yu Huishui looked up and met the eyes of several bandits chopping wood outside.
The mute boy among them made some noises, hurriedly turning away, only to be bumped by the bandit uncle from last night, “After last night, it’s fine, look, look!”
The mute boy rubbed his buzz-cut head, looking confused.
This marriage thing sure has a lot of customs, too troublesome.
“Ahem… ahem!”
The first bandit to react rubbed his hands, hiding the shiny axe behind him, cautiously and eagerly asking Yu Huishui, “Are you looking for the leader?”
Yu Huishui, who had been considering sneaking out, immediately dismissed the idea. He nodded awkwardly, pretending to look around, “Yes, yes, your… leader, where did he go?”
Yu Huishui, with his delicate appearance, looked obedient and sincere, his gaze earnest and genuine.
The bandits were impressed, thinking that the young lady from a wealthy family was indeed well-mannered, not intimidated by a group of bandits. The girls at the foot of the mountain mostly trembled when they saw them.
But who could blame them? After all, they were bandits.
The bandits exchanged glances, pointing in one direction, “He went…”
“Looking for me?”
Before the bandits could clearly point out the direction, Zang Liujiang returned, carrying a three-tiered wooden box. Under the eager eyes of the bandits, he pushed Yu Huishui back into the room and closed the door.
“See that!”
“The leader is very protective! Won’t even let us look!”
The bandits outside immediately buzzed with excitement, their axe-swinging becoming more vigorous, chopping wood with extra effort. Watching the couple’s affection early in the morning made the unmarried bandits envious.
“Don’t mix with them, they’re too rough and might hurt you. Here, you didn’t eat much last night.”
Zang Liujiang nudged Yu Huishui to the table, placing the three-tiered food box on it, opening the lid to reveal the dishes.
A whole boiled chicken, a braised fish, tender pig trotters, mushroom and bamboo shoot soup, various stir-fried dishes, fruits, and snacks… a full table of food.
A smiling face is hard to hit, and Yu Huishui’s morning anger from being touched was thoroughly cooled. He touched his empty stomach, indeed feeling hungry, so he swallowed his refusal.
A real man can bend and stretch, Yu Huishui decided to eat this meal and then deal with yesterday’s grievances.
Yu Huishui shook his robe, found a chair by the table, and sat down.
He was picky, planning to choose some favorite dishes, when he heard a ripping sound. An oily chicken leg was handed to him, with Zang Liujiang sitting across, smiling brightly.
“Here, wife, have some meat.”