It was a clear autumn day, the sky a deep azure, without a single cloud to disturb it. Wisps of purple mist shimmered where the sun rose, scattering golden light; wind chimes tinkled, and from afar it seemed an excellent omen.
Xiansi was wiping down His Majesty's alchemical incense burner when the two eunuchs, Xiao Shengzi and Xiao Shunzi, came scurrying over and bowed down before her. The commotion was small, but the joy was abundant. "Senior Maid Xiansi, please come to the western wing to receive imperial rewards—there's one portion that's yours alone."
Xiansi blinked in bewilderment, not understanding. Before she could ask further, Xiao Shengzi and Xiao Shunzi ushered her away, one on each side. In the covered gallery stood the palace maids Chun'er, Jinshu, and Suxin, all wearing mysterious, subtle smiles as they fixed their eyes on Xiansi.
"Wait." Xiansi's feet moved despite herself, her throat tight. She glanced around—the Palace of Heavenly Purity was as clear and serene as ever, the palace servants sweeping, standing guard, nothing amiss.
"Just wait and see!"
Xiao Shengzi and Chun'er and the others, with their crinkled, secretive eyes, undoubtedly raised her expectations for this reward, as if some windfall of cosmic proportions had been poured onto her head.
Normally everyone schemed and intrigued, playing tricks and acting sly; it was rare to see such harmony. All duties were suspended, and like one big family sharing in glory, everyone wore gentle ripples of warmth on their faces.
The western wing was where the servants lived—bright and spacious, with flowers and trees planted before the hall. The reception room of the servants' quarters, a rare spot among the shaded row of rooms that caught sunlight, was planted with elegant green bamboo. It was often here that the senior staff lectured the newcomers to the palace.
At this moment, the western wing was densely piled with sandalwood trunks trimmed in gold, dazzling and resplendent, their opulent luster of pearls and gems impossible to conceal. There were seven or eight of them, all wrapped in red silk. Imperial-bestowed foods, wine, silks, gold and silver—too much to fit—were laid out in sequence on the tables, a dazzling array.
There were more objects than Xiansi could even name; any single one could guarantee her a lifetime free of want for food and clothing. The wealth was overwhelming, dizzying. Even the dowry of the eldest legitimate daughter of a noble house among the common gentry could not compare to such abundance—it made one gasp repeatedly.
The key was that these were all imperial gifts, personally designated by the royal family. To receive one item was already the fortune of a lifetime, let alone mountains and heaps of them! If one openly displayed a few of these at home, even a third-rank official would not dare give offense.
"Good heavens…" Even the usually composed Xiansi lost her bearings, dazed and lost amid the overwhelming wealth, murmuring blankly, her eyes wide as saucers. The very air in the room seemed dyed into a golden mist.
"What is all this?"
Xiao Shengzi and the others, basking in Xiansi's reflected glory, feasted their eyes, their grins splitting into flowers. For several servants to dare gather here in secret, as festive as New Year's, they had clearly obtained the permission of those above. This windfall of cosmic proportions had been poured on Xiansi's head alone.
Xiansi stood at the center of the swirling vortex, left dizzy by the sudden bounty. For a moment, the solemn, austere imperial palace was filled with human warmth. If she closed her eyes, she might think she had transcended the sufferings of the mortal world and arrived at the blissful land of heaven.
Joy makes the spirit soar.
Her heart pounded—thump, thump—so great was her astonishment and delight, as if a fluttering bird were beating its wings in her chest. Her eyes stared straight ahead, her whole body taut, and not a single word of the flattery around her reached her ears.
Everyone present knew full well: the mountains of rewards were merely the prelude. The main event was still to come.
Liu Lun was likewise called to stand among the crowd, beside Xiansi. The two of them—the most exalted servants of the Palace of Heavenly Purity—matched perfectly in status, temperament, and experience. This grand bestowal of favor belonged not only to Xiansi, but to Liu Lun as well.
Though few in number, the atmosphere was warm, its beauty and auspiciousness intoxicating to the heart.
Senior Maid Jinshu, the most senior and longest-serving of the Palace of Heavenly Purity, stood on the wooden steps, a head taller than everyone else. Xiao Shengzi, Xiao Dezi, Chun'er, and Senior Maid Suxin stood as witnesses.
Jinshu cleared her throat solemnly, her gaze fixed on Xiansi and Liu Lun. Without question, they were the protagonists of the day, the rightful recipients of such lavish rewards, the darlings of those above.
Under the gazes of the others, nudged and pushed forward, Xiansi found herself kneeling before she knew it, and Liu Lun knelt beside her.
Liu Lun received the bestowal with head held high, his face full of devotion.
Jinshu, beaming, announced His Majesty's oral decree:
"Miss Xiansi shall henceforth belong to Chief Steward Liu—"
Her voice, low yet resolute, carried clearly into everyone's ears.
The moment the words fell, everyone burst into enthusiastic applause in blessing, considering it the most perfect of destinies, a joyous match. All eyes converged on Xiansi and Liu Lun.
Liu Lun had clearly known in advance. He scratched his head and smiled placidly, the wrinkles on his face smoothing out. He was grateful to everyone present, but refused to glance even once at Xiansi, keeping his head stubbornly turned aside, his wrinkled face red as a three-year-old's, his lips twisting into a foolish, flustered, awkward dry laugh—utterly mortified, wishing he could find a crack in the ground to crawl into.
"Your servant thanks His Majesty for his boundless grace!"
Liu Lun said in a trembling voice, pressing his hands to the ground and kowtowing with loud, frantic thuds, using exaggerated motions to desperately cover his embarrassment.
Xiansi blinked slowly, her movements sluggish.
It took her some time to digest the decree. Her feet felt soft and weak, her head buzzing with heat. She was dazed for a moment, then went cold like burnt-out charcoal. Her gaze slowly turned toward the window, her fingers twisting the hem of her skirt, seemingly at a loss—like a dead thing floating on the surface of a river, stripped of life and strength, dead through and through.
Only after a long while did she follow with a kowtow, saying, "I thank His Majesty for his boundless grace—"
By the window, the osmanthus trees shed their blossoms like a sea of snow, the courtyard full of sweet fragrance. The fine yellow and white petals, scattered by the refreshing autumn wind, fell like flower rain and drifted in through the window—a scene of exquisite beauty, a match made in heaven.
Even the golden osmanthus was blessing this broken yet fortunate new couple.
……
Eunuch Shen of the Bureau of Imperial Attire came over and enthusiastically tailored several new garments for Xiansi.
Eunuch Shen was something of a veteran in the palace. He had been privileged to learn of this secret imperial betrothal, and felt deep pride for Liu Lun and Xiansi.
The sordid, hidden affairs of eunuchs and palace maids in domestic partnership—yet here it had won His Majesty's approval. How was this any different from an imperial betrothal bestowed by the Emperor himself?
Overwhelming glory.
Moreover, Liu Lun and Xiansi were respectively the foremost eunuch and foremost palace maid of the Palace of Heavenly Purity—perfectly matched, blessed by lucky stars, a joyous occasion that would delight even the Buddha.
Xiansi stared at the rewards flowing in like water, thanking them with polite refinement. Her indescribably dull eyes seemed forever veiled in thick fog, knowing neither joy nor sorrow.
A faint smile curved her lips into a crescent shape, like a white lotus in morning mist. As the eunuch's "bride-to-be," her hair now pinned in a low chignon, she carried an added touch of a young wife's graceful charm.
She could be said to have had her stroke of divine fortune.
"Why does Chief Steward Liu never see me?"
In private, Xiansi asked Wang Fulu.
The initial storm of emotion had receded, and Xiansi gradually came to accept the marriage, recovering her usual composure. It was Liu Lun, instead, who avoided her at every turn, never showing his face.
"Your godfather is busy—it's not that he's avoiding you on purpose."
Wang Fulu offered this excuse, feeling as if something were stuck in his throat.
Liu Lun could not bear to face Xiansi. All along, he had known that he harbored feelings for her, while she felt nothing for him.
Then an unexpected decree had thrown them together. Liu Lun was terrified and stunned—overwhelmed by joy, and overwhelmed by a sense of unworthiness. That he, a eunuch, had somehow married the moon of his dreams—it was nothing short of a desecration of that moon.
If he could, Liu Lun would have begged His Majesty on his knees to rescind the decree. He dared not imagine how Xiansi would feel upon learning of it, what unbearable look she would give him—a castrated man.
"Your godfather has been granted a residence in the capital's outskirts, and he'll formally retire in a couple of years. He's kept a room for you—you may go there. His Majesty has given word that you are to look after your godfather, so you'll no longer be assigned the heavy work in the Palace of Heavenly Purity."
Wang Fulu, caught in the middle, was torn. Not long ago he had speculated that Xiansi would ascend to the heights of power; now such talk was over, and he could only do his best to wish Xiansi and Liu Lun happiness in their new life.
"His Majesty is gracious."
"It is an immense reward. Tonight you should go and kowtow in thanks to His Majesty."
"Yes." Xiansi kept her eyes lowered, her tone flat, as if she were a bystander to someone else's story. "I was about to go just now, but His Majesty was still in council."
"Go together with your godfather."
Xiansi gave a soft mm of assent. She had never imagined that marrying Liu Lun as his domestic partner would also mean following him as he handed over his duties and retired. The position of senior palace maid of the Palace of Heavenly Purity, which she had fought half her life to attain, had vanished into smoke in a single morning.
Fate toyed with people so cruelly.
Still—both the thunder and the dew are the Emperor's mercy. A person drifts along on the waters of fate, and wherever she drifts, she can survive. How could she presume to attend the Imperial Presence forever? To slowly fade away like this, far from the court, was not such a bad way out. One way or another, a person had to keep living.
Living, ah, living.
Before she knew it, her eyes were brimming with tears.
The light of dusk dimmed little by little, reflected in the gray, gloomy sunset clouds. Pine needles rustled as they brushed against one another. The somber, desolate palace lurked in the gathering night, its red walls refracting the sunset into a layer of dark, oppressive gray, and the west wind drove one to clutch one's garments tight.
Liu Lun had been dismissed to wait outside. In the inner bedchamber, Xiansi knelt alone, back bowed, knees folded upon the heavy carpet, prostrate.
Her forehead pressed fully to the floor hid her expression. She did not move, like a dead thing frozen in place.
"Your servant thanks Your Majesty for the gracious gift of a future." Xiansi spoke with utter subservience, her voice betraying no ripple, casting a heavy shadow in the glow of the horn-shaped lamps.
Hanzheng sat high upon the Dragon Throne, the evening haze darkening his figure, and asked in a low voice, "Are you satisfied?"
It was the particular understanding between master and servant—he had promised to give her a future.
"Your servant is satisfied. Your Majesty's arrangement is most wise. Chief Steward Liu is a man revered by every servant of the Six Palaces. That your servant has the fortune to follow the Chief Steward is a blessing three lifetimes could not buy."
Xiansi was utterly subservient, forcing a smile. "Your servant kowtows in gratitude to Your Majesty. Your Majesty treats your servant with the greatest kindness—"
Hanzheng was a master of reading the room, deeply versed in the human heart, and he caught the shift in her emotions almost instantly.
Her hand, translucent and pale green as jade, lay against the floor, trembling secretly; beneath her seemingly even tone there were stifled sobs, threaded with the faintest hoarseness… These were all telltale traces.
She had certainly been crying. She was disappointed.
But as a servant, she could not show her emotions—she could only hide them with all her might, and even speak against her own heart, saying he was kind.
The sight of her enduring to such an extreme degree was almost pitiable.
"Come here."
Hanzheng reached out his hand to her, as gentle as the day they first met.
Xiansi rose in a daze, brushed the dust from her clothes, and only then dared to climb the steps and approach the throne. Hanzheng's knees were loosely parted, his long legs spread—the implication in his posture could not have been clearer.
Xiansi knelt beside his knees with detachment, going through the motions as if her soul had been drained away. She rested her head on his knee out of mere routine, soulless, filled with numbness, like a person already halfway into the grave.
Hanzheng lightly stroked her jaw, unable to feel any warmth from her. In the darkness, a faint glimmer of cold tenderness surfaced in his eyes.
"Why so aggrieved, hm…"
Her grievance, her bitterness, her desperate endurance.
"Don't you like Liu Lun?"
His caress was full of doting affection, like an elder brother indulging his younger sister, patiently discussing her marriage with her.
Didn't she like him? Liu Lun was good—why wouldn't she like him? If she didn't like Liu Lun, then whom did she like?
Don't cry.
When she cried, his heart trembled along with her.
"I heard that you two were on close terms in private, so I made this arrangement."
Hanzheng explained in a measured voice, his tone softened and sweet.
Xiansi was frozen as if in monastic stillness, stiff in the cold abyss. His knees were always so warm, just like the man himself.
She closed her eyes, doing her best to ignore his caress, and pulled a smile up from somewhere deep within. "This servant… likes him very much."
"As long as you like him."
He wanted her to live well, but marrying her off to a stranger was, in itself, a gamble.
Rather than give her to someone else, it was better to marry her to someone she knew—if she were mistreated, she could still return to the palace, and he would stand up for her.
He could not give her happiness, but someone else could.
"No more crying, hm?"
Hanzheng wiped her eyes with a handkerchief, though there were no visible tear stains. His unusually tender gesture was an effective comfort, nourishing silently like a gentle rain. He cradled her forehead, pressing his own against it, coaxing her patiently, over and over, so intimate that there was almost no distance between them.
Yet no matter how tender it seemed, strip away the veneer of affection, and they would forever be master and servant—the forbidden gulf between them could never be crossed.
"Tell me any wish you have, and I shall grant it."
Xiansi's brow furrowed tightly, and instinctively she clasped his hand in return.
By long-standing convention, a servant was the master's cat or dog, to be paired off however he pleased—it was only right and proper.
But from the standpoint of a man and a woman—he had possessed her for one night, and then cast her aside. He still owed her a debt of deep affection.
"This servant…"
Xiansi's throat was dry.
She presumed. Her nails nearly dug into the back of his hand, pressing until blood rose beneath them.
She loved him—he knew it perfectly well.
He had used coaxing and covert coercion to make her tear her heart out, still bleeding, and hand it over. And once he had it, he had coldly abandoned it to one side.
She loved him, and hated him all the more—a hatred born that no loyal maidservant should ever have.
The imperial edict had already been issued. Xiansi knew that further pleading was useless. What must be severed should be severed—she would uproot, by the roots, this deep love she had buried for so many years.
Xiansi embraced his knees one last time, smiled with perfect propriety, and with the courage of a final, all-or-nothing gamble in this life, she spoke the terms she had long prepared, her voice ringing clear and strong:
"I beg Your Majesty to grant this servant three days as your consort."
She would be formally treated as his consort for three days, after which she would go serve as Liu Lun's domestic partner, working diligently, living earnestly, never clinging, forever letting go.
Three days—enough to fulfill her years-long wish, to buy out this ill-fated romance completely, to sever all hope entirely.
She had once wanted to be his consort for a lifetime, having waited countless days and nights for it. Now it seemed she would only have three days.
It didn't matter. It was already enough.
Hanzheng paused, studying the woman before him. Her straight back, her words driven in like nails—it gave him a strange sense that she had been completely transformed.
Bold, audacious, sharp-tongued.
She actually dared to make such a demand.
No—this wasn't a demand. It was a gauntlet thrown at him.
Her eyes glistened, devout and resolute. The gaze she turned on him was love, was kindness, physical attraction to him.
But she also had an unyielding spirit. She dared not, and would not, shamelessly cling to one above her. He could rest assured: if she said she would cut off her feelings, she would cut them off—cleanly and completely.
Hanzheng was silent for a long while, a strange glint of sharpness flashing through his narrowed eyes, surprised by this. He paused, as if accepting the challenge:
"Very well. I grant your request—"