A sliver of morning sunlight filtered through the white gauze curtains, its piercing brightness disturbing a peaceful slumber.
Chi Xinglan let out a yawn as he climbed out of bed. He pulled back the curtains, and the sea breeze immediately rushed in, carrying the damp, salty scent of the ocean. Before him lay an endless expanse of blue. The sun danced upon the waves, creating ripples that shimmered like gold and silver fish scales—a beautiful, mysterious visual feast.
This was a small seaside town not far from City A.
On the day he left, he had packed only a simple suitcase and boarded a train. He had bought a ticket from a scalper with no destination in mind, not knowing where he was going. But when the train passed through this town, he suddenly felt a longing to see the ocean. After staying here for a while, he had grown accustomed to waking up early to walk along the shore. The sea made him feel relaxed.
Even though it was still winter and the water was freezing, with a wind that bit at his face until it was dry and sore, the mornings were lively. He could see many villagers and tourists beachcombing. Small shells were scattered across the sand, and occasionally, he spotted little crabs scurrying by.
The sea breeze was cold, so Chi Xinglan left after a short walk. The doctor had warned him to stay warm and avoid catching a cold; during pregnancy, many medications were off-limits. The town was simple and rustic, with busy figures in every street and alley, and the locals were very kind to outsiders. Because of this, Chi Xinglan had found himself reluctant to leave and had stayed for nearly a month.
Since the day he walked out of Liang Xiao’s apartment, his phone had remained off. He had initiated a total blackout; no one could reach him. He didn’t know if Liang Xiao had eventually accepted Wen Ran’s proposal, nor did he know if Liang Xiao was looking for him.
Just as the doctor said, he needed rest and a good mood. During his time in the town, he slept early and woke early, strolled by the sea, and lived a cozy cycle of eating and sleeping. Being away from the world’s noise made him feel at ease. The ocean healed all wounds. He occasionally felt that living in this town forever wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
The only drawback was the town’s limited medical facilities; he had to travel to the county seat for his prenatal check-ups. Sometimes, he felt incredibly lucky to be a Beta rather than an Omega. During pregnancy, he didn’t need an Alpha’s company or the soothing effect of pheromones. Even without Liang Xiao, he could provide a good life for the baby.
The baby was now four months old, and today was the day of his scheduled check-up. After breakfast, he took the bus from the town to the county hospital. Having woken up earlier than usual, he felt sluggish and sat on a chair outside the consulting room, nodding off.
“Chi Xinglan, it’s your turn.”
Hearing the doctor call his name, Chi Xinglan quickly stood up and headed toward the room. He didn’t notice several people behind him freezing in their tracks at the sound of his name.
“Found him!” “Notify the boss immediately!”
The check-up required many tests. Having arrived in the morning, even just waiting in line took a considerable amount of time. Chi Xinglan grabbed a quick lunch at the hospital cafeteria while waiting for his results.
He looked at the ultrasound in his hand. This was the first time he had seen the baby’s form. Although he couldn’t quite make out the features—his eyes only saw a dark shadow—it felt real.
“The child is very healthy,” the doctor said. “No issues at all.”
The weight in Chi Xinglan’s heart finally lifted. He had been eating and sleeping well specifically to nurture the pregnancy.
“Where is the father? Did he come with you?” the doctor asked.
The smile on Chi Xinglan’s face stiffened. Liang Xiao’s image flashed through his mind, and he shook his head. “The father is dead.”
“???”
Chi Xinglan smiled. “I buried him with my own hands.”
“…”
Assuming it was another family dispute, the doctor gave him a complicated look and sighed softly. Young people these days.
A hurried Liang Xiao pushed open the door to the consulting room just in time to hear Chi Xinglan’s words. His face turned dark. At the sound of the door, Chi Xinglan turned and locked eyes with Liang Xiao.
In that instant, time seemed to stand still. Liang Xiao had reappeared in his world without warning. It was the first time Chi Xinglan had ever seen him look so disheveled.
Seeing this, the doctor teased, “Is this the child’s father?”
“Yes,” Liang Xiao answered before Chi Xinglan could speak. It was too late to deny it.
The doctor looked at Chi Xinglan and laughed. “How did the father come back to life?”
Chi Xinglan: “…”
He averted his eyes from Liang Xiao, nervously clutching the ultrasound results. Liang Xiao stood behind him; Chi Xinglan could feel his gaze fixed on him, as if trying to see right through him. He rarely felt such a sense of oppression from Liang Xiao.
Liang Xiao had found him much faster than expected. He had deliberately avoided ways that would make it easy to track him, but he had also wondered if Liang Xiao even cared enough to look. This month apart had been a gamble on Liang Xiao. Deep down, he still had feelings for him; that was why he had left him a chance.
In this moment of reunion, they seemed to have everything to say, yet nothing could be voiced. There was only silence.
Liang Xiao held his hand firmly as he accompanied him through the remaining tests. They didn’t speak, but there was intimate physical contact; Liang Xiao held him in his arms just like before, shielding him from the crowd. Every time he finished a test, Liang Xiao was there to hand him a cup of warm water. He looked at the needle marks and bruises on Chi Xinglan’s arm with visible heartache.
From the moment Liang Xiao appeared, Chi Xinglan felt a mix of the nervousness of being found during a game of hide-and-seek, the joy of reuniting with a lover, and the urge to run away. There was even a subtle sense of melancholy. This tangle of emotions left him not knowing how to face Liang Xiao.
Liang Xiao didn’t take the initiative to speak, and Chi Xinglan didn’t know what to say. After the check-up, Liang Xiao drove him home.
“Where are you living now?”
This was the first thing Liang Xiao said to him after their reunion. His voice sounded almost cold. The car was silent, but Chi Xinglan’s heart kept sinking. He had so many questions, but Liang Xiao’s attitude made him withdraw.
So, what exactly were they now?
Chi Xinglan gently stroked his abdomen and looked out at the night scenery passing by.
Lacking sleep from the early morning and worn out by excessive worry, Chi Xinglan was too exhausted to deal with Liang Xiao any longer. He adjusted his position, leaning against the car window to rest with his eyes closed. Although the space inside the car was small and the distance between them was short, he felt as if a massive mountain stood between them. They were worlds apart.
Liang Xiao kept a constant eye on him. Seeing his poor complexion, he immediately slowed the car so Chi Xinglan could rest better. During a thirty-second red light, Liang Xiao finally found the chance to really look at him. After a month apart, he seemed a bit rounder. Looking at the slight bulge of his abdomen, Liang Xiao’s heart was stirred, softening with a rush of tenderness. He took off his coat and gently draped it over Chi Xinglan.
Chi Xinglan slept for over an hour. By the time he woke up, they were back in the small town, and the car was parked on the seaside road. The engine was off, and the interior was dark. In the shadows, he couldn’t see Liang Xiao’s expression.
“Thank you for sending me back,” Chi Xinglan said softly. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll be going.” He reached for the handle to open the door, only to find it was locked.
“Why do you have to leave?” Liang Xiao’s voice was low and heavy, carrying a trace of sorrow that sounded incredibly painful.
Chi Xinglan gripped the coat in his arms, his voice faint. “I told you, if the day ever came where you met an Omega you liked, I would leave of my own accord.”
“But, Xiao Chi… there has never been anyone else between us. From beginning to end, the only person I’ve ever liked is you.” Liang Xiao’s voice sounded profoundly aggrieved.
Chi Xinglan froze and turned to look at him. He had never heard such a direct confession from Liang Xiao’s lips, leaving him momentarily stunned. “What… what are you saying?”
Recalling the night Chi Xinglan left, a look of deep regret flashed in Liang Xiao’s eyes. “I had already prepared to propose to you as soon as the contract ended. I’ve had the ring ready for five years. The balloons, the flowers, the venue—everything was arranged. I thought I would pick you up right after work.”
The ring… five years ago…
Chi Xinglan bit his lip in disbelief, his eyes instantly turning red.
“Xiao Chi, I think I’m very stupid. I’ve been using the wrong ways to express my feelings. I fell for you at first sight five years ago. We were strangers then, and I was young and arrogant; if I liked something, I would use any means necessary to keep it by my side. While I was still trying to figure out how to get close to you, you contacted me. I thought that might be the only chance I’d ever have to keep you with me. Our beginning was wrong, so it was destined to be full of misunderstandings. It’s my fault for not telling you properly that I’ve liked you since the first moment I saw you.”
Liang Xiao continued, his voice trembling. “Our relationship was so strained back then that any explanation felt hollow. Later, I thought I would wait until the contract ended to propose. I was gambling—gambling that after five years, there might be at least a tiny possibility that you liked me back.”
Chi Xinglan slowly closed his eyes as tears fell uncontrollably in a torrent. Liang Xiao unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled him into his arms. A feeling of regaining something lost washed over him, filling his heart with guilt and bitterness.
That day, he had come home with a huge bouquet of roses, his heart full of joy at the thought of proposing. But the moment he opened the door, he knew he had lost Chi Xinglan. In that instant, he felt a panic more intense than anything he’d ever known. He searched every room, finally finding the note and the lab report Chi Xinglan had left on the bedside table:
Liang Xiao, I’ve scheduled surgery for this afternoon. Consider it an early wedding gift. I wish you and Wen Ran a happy marriage and a lifetime of harmony.
The sheer terror of losing him had nearly made Liang Xiao choke. By the time he regained his composure and rushed out to find him, it was too late. Chi Xinglan had quietly vanished from his world.
No wonder Chi Xinglan wouldn’t let him touch him during his recent rut. No wonder he had been so lethargic and looked so unwell, and even the frequent vomiting over the past few months finally had a cause. He was pregnant. Surprise and self-reproach hit Liang Xiao all at once.
“I’m sorry, Xiao Chi. I’ve let you suffer so much.”
Those words were more devastating than any confession. Chi Xinglan couldn’t help but cry out loud in his arms. Because he loved Liang Xiao, and because of their unequal relationship, he had endured so much hardship. He had lived in fear yet indulged in Liang Xiao’s tenderness, always feeling insecure. He had never dared to assume Liang Xiao actually loved him.
“Xiao Chi, is there something I’ve never told you?” Liang Xiao asked.
“What?” Chi Xinglan sobbed.
Liang Xiao cupped his face, gently wiping away the tear tracks. It was only then that Chi Xinglan saw how bloodshot Liang Xiao’s eyes were. In that moment, he suddenly realized that over these past five years, he wasn’t the only one who had suffered.
Liang Xiao kissed the corner of his lips with tenderness and devotion. “It has nothing to do with gender, and nothing to do with pheromones. I love you. There has never been anyone else only you.”
Chi Xinglan stared at him as tears spilled over again. This was the answer he had waited a month no, five years to hear.