This is a nightmare. It has to be a nightmare.
I sincerely wanted to believe that the sight unfolding before my eyes was nothing but a very nasty dream.
Slap.
But the self-inflicted slap, which I had swung with all my might, hurt enough to make me gasp, leaving me no choice but to admit two facts through tears of blood.
"Dammit……."
First, messing with that white-haired sniper yesterday was a massive mistake. Second, the fact that my room is currently in this exact state is reality.
With hollow eyes, I looked around my room, which had been comfortable and cozy just yesterday but had transformed into hell the moment I opened my eyes this morning. Faces of Ian Basilios, sporting his filthy beautiful smiles, were staring down at me. From the right wall, the left wall, the ceiling, the floor, and even the doors.
Yes.
That absolute bastard Jake had completely wallpapered my entire room with portraits of Ian Basilios. I had no idea where he even sourced them, but it was a veritable feast of portraits that seemed to have collected almost every imaginable expression and pose of Ian in this world.
I mean, he's a member of the imperial family, is it really okay for his portraits to be printed in such mass quantities just to wallpaper a room like this?
On top of that, he had secured them so tightly with mana that no matter how hard I tried, they wouldn't budge with my bare hands.
After ultimately making eye contact for the fifth time with a massive portrait of Ian holding a rose in his mouth, I couldn't hold it in anymore and let out a house-shaking scream.
"Aaaaagh!"
***
Placing a portrait of Ian winking while half-naked right on the door is something only a true demon could do. If I accidentally caught a glimpse of that burdensome sight, I felt like I would see my stomach contents with my own eyes, so I couldn't bring myself to look anywhere near the door.
Because of that, it took me quite a while just to escape that cursed place. I bet that was exactly what Jake was aiming for, too.
I clenched my fists as tightly as I could.
Today, that punk's pretty face will be making passionate love to my beautiful fist.
Spitting fire from both eyes, I frantically roamed the sprawling mansion looking for Jake. But as expected of a stealthy assassin, I couldn't find a single cereal flake, let alone a trace of Jake.
Don't tell me he has already snuck out of the mansion?
"A hit-and-run... What a coward. I hope his hair falls out before he can even walk three miles."
I muttered in a voice thick with rage and grabbed a passing servant. Seeing me with an absolutely terrifying expression on my face thanks to Jake, the servant gasped and began to tremble violently, but I didn't have the peace of mind to calm her down.
"Have you seen Jake?"
"Y-yes? The... Young Master... earlier... told me to pass along a message in case the Young Lady asked for his whereabouts, and then... he vanished somewhere..."
"What is it?"
"Well... he said, 'No need to thank me.'"
In the end, my fist—with nowhere left to go—slammed right into the innocent wall. The servant shrieked and rushed to check on my hand, but I couldn't have cared less whether my hand was broken or not.
'No need to thank me' he says....
It looks like he still sees me as the Crown Prince’s fangirl. He probably thought that even if I temporarily lost my mind and claimed to hate Ian, I would become completely starry-eyed again the moment I saw that handsome face.
I am being underestimated. Big time.
“Hahaha. Haha, hahaha…….”
At the sight of me suddenly bursting into laughter, the servant’s face looked as though she was about to cry. Shouting that the Young Lady seemed unwell and that she would fetch the royal physician, she bolted down the hall.
But I was so utterly dumbfounded that I didn't even think to stop the laughter bursting out of me, nor did I realize that my current behavior looked incredibly bizarre to the servants. Only one single thought completely consumed my mind.
"Whew... My dear little brother, it looks like you and your big sister need to have a little chat."
And 'chat' is the name of my fist.
'Jake Podebrat. You better get ready to eat your meals behind a folding screen today.'
***
“I did hear the servants mentioning lately that there was the sound of a rat scurrying around the mansion's chimney, but I only found out today that it was a white rat."
As my voice rang out, the figure in the black robe flinched violently in surprise and stumbled, nearly losing his footing. Flashing a triumphant smirk, I stared intently at Jake.
"How……………?"
"How did I know to come here? For your great older sister, knowing this much is a given."
I gave a shrug to Jake, whose mouth was hanging wide open like an idiot.
Honestly, I only knew because I read the novel.
The place where Jake and I were currently standing was none other than the mansion's rooftop—right by the chimney, to be exact. It was a spot where absolutely no one had a reason to go unless it was time to sweep the chimney.
However, the roof was surprisingly flat, providing a decent place to sit, and the chimney served as a good backrest. Since it was easy enough to climb up from the top floor if you navigated the railing carefully, it wasn't a bad spot to be alone. Of course, a fall from here meant instant death.
In the novel, Jake would spend his time alone here whenever he couldn't stand the sight of his detestable older sister or their hopelessly doting father. Later on, he even carried the heroine, Yuri, up here in his arms, calling it his secret hiding place.
"………………Go down."
Jake said, letting out a deep sigh. He must be annoyed, considering his older sister just invaded his private sanctuary.
But Jake was the one who broke into his sleeping sister's room first and turned it into an Ian hell.
"I have something I need to tell you before I go down."
I smiled brightly, gently clenching my fist and shaking it at him.
Jake furrowed his brows and tilted his head as if he didn't know what was going on.
"What."
"My room. How dare you turn my sweet suite into a total dump like that?"
"Why? You like him, Ian."
Whoosh. Perhaps because we were on the rooftop, a chilly early spring breeze blew straight at us, so I uttered a tiny curse word out loud which was carried away on the wind. It was basically a form of self-censorship.
"I don't like him. That's why I said I'm calling off the engagement. I haven't lost my mind, and I'm not playing hard to get. I mean it."
"………………I don't believe you."
Although only the lower half of his face was visible beneath the hood, Jake’s eyes undoubtedly held a look of sheer disbelief, as if to say, 'You were head over heels for him, and now this all of a sudden?'
"I was blind for way too long. The other day, he showed me his cheating ways right in front of my face with another woman again, and I completely lost all feelings for him. He is just a piece of trash."
"Pfft."
Jake made a snorting sound through his nose.
I didn't know whether he found it funny that I used the word "trash," or if he was laughing because the Crown Prince had been downgraded to a mere piece of garbage.
But are you really in a position to be laughing right now?
“Don't laugh. You plastered a pile of shit all over my room, which basically makes you a toilet.”
"......"
Jake’s face went stiff. Ignoring him completely, I clicked my tongue and crossed my arms.
“And even if I did like Ian, ruining my room like that without even asking my opinion is wrong, you foolish little brother. You need to learn how to be considerate of others.”
“Why?”
Why did the fact that fratricide carries an enhanced sentence suddenly cross my mind?
Flashing a faint smile, I gave him a kind reply.
"Because it’s basic etiquette, it’s common decency, and above all else—when you act like that, it makes me incredibly angry."
"Exactly. Why. Should. I. Care. About. You."
"………………How old is our little Jake?"
"Seventeen."
To the still clueless Jake, I flashed a gentle smile, placed my hands on my hips, and spoke.
"And you still don't get it?"
"No."
"Then let's just agree on this: if you touch my things without permission again, every single strand of our little Jake’s hair is going to get ripped out by me. So let's not do that in the future, okay?"
"I will assume that even if you don't know how to treasure other people's privacy, you still know how to treasure the hair on your head."
Jake seemed caught off guard, but he nodded his head anyway.
"Now that you understand, go straight to my room right now and—"
"Oh my goodness, My Lady!"
In an instant, a thunderous voice pierced through our ears, as if it were about to swallow up not just my words, but this entire mansion. It was so loud that both Jake and I almost fell right off the roof.
“Even the Young Master! What on earth are you two doing up there? It’s dangerous!”
Startled, I turned my head toward the voice and looked down.
Standing there was a middle-aged woman who perfectly embodied the word "plump." Her long hair, which had already turned half-white, was tied up neatly, and she was dressed in outdoor attire as if she had just returned from a trip, with baggage clutched in both hands.
“………………Martha.”
Only after hearing Jake’s mutterings was I finally able to rift through Melissa's memories resurfacing in my mind.
Martha was the nanny who raised both Melissa and Jake since childhood, and she had left the mansion for her hometown last year after we both reached adulthood. Though she was quite a nagger, she was the only person in this massive Podebrat mansion who genuinely loved Melissa with all her heart. While I was absolutely thrilled to see her, there was no clear reason why she would suddenly return to this estate out of nowhere.
“Hurry up and get down from there!”
Yikes.
Feeling like a frightened five-year-old child at Martha’s scolding that seemed to shake the heavens and earth, Jake and I silently climbed down from the roof.
“Oh my goodness, I might expect this from the young master, but I never imagined you would climb up to such a place without fear, young lady. Look, your skirt is all wrinkled!”
The moment she confronted us, Martha slapped our backs repeatedly and spoke bluntly. Even though Martha was clearly much smaller than both of us, she still felt like a giant.
“I’m sorry……”
I spoke up, feeling like a criminal for no good reason. Martha nodded her head, but immediately turned a sharp glare toward Jake and demanded:
“And you, young master?!”
“Uh, me too……?”
Jake flinched, looking as if it was the first time he was properly scolded, and finally moved his lips, completely overpowered by Martha’s aura.
“I-I’m sorry……”
Hearing our apologies, Martha grinned broadly and said:
“I'm sorry for scolding you the moment you arrived, my little young lady and young master. But you gave me quite a scare! Especially you, young lady, since you are getting married soon anyway……”
Huh?
“Wait, Martha. What did you just say?”
“Your marriage, young lady. Oh, don't be shy! I heard you are announcing your marriage at the upcoming Spring Ball hosted by the Imperial Family, aren't you? As your nanny who watched over your entire childhood, I couldn’t just sit by when I heard the news, so I rushed over here.”
I felt extremely dizzy.
“Congratulations! To think you are marrying the handsome Crown Prince you adored so much…… It feels like just yesterday you were a tiny toddler singing about how you would grow up to be a princess, and now you are already getting married…… This old Martha is just so deeply moved……”
I didn't hear what came next. The overwhelming shock and stress finally caused me to lose consciousness.
My mental state was already on the verge of collapse.