Standing through a Captains’ meeting was Kazuma’s worst nightmare.
All the Captains were standing in two neat lines, looking dead serious in their white coats.
Kazuma, on the other hand, was leaning his whole body against a wooden pillar in the back row, snoring softly with his eyes shut.
Shunsui poked him with an elbow.
“Hey, wake up,” Shunsui whispered under his straw hat.
“The old man is glaring right at you.”
Kazuma didn’t even open his eyes.
“If I don’t look at him, he can’t see me.
That’s science, Shunsui.”
At the front of the hall, Old Man Yamamoto banged his wooden cane on the floor.
THUMP.
The room went dead silent.
“Quiet down,” Yamamoto said, his one eye scanning the room like a hawk.
“Captain Hikifune got promoted to the Royal Guard.
Today, we welcome the new Captain of the Twelfth Division.
Shihōin Yoruichi vouched for him, and he passed the test.”
The sliding doors at the back clicked open.
A guy with messy blond hair walked in.
He wore wooden flip-flops, a goofy green-and-white striped hat, and had a silly grin on his face.
He looked more like a random shopkeeper than a Captain.
It was Kisuke Urahara.
Behind him, Yoruichi crossed her arms with a proud grin.
“Hey everyone,” Urahara chuckled, scratching the back of his messy head.
Let’s try not to kill each other, okay?”
A few Captains clicked their tongues in annoyance.
Soi Fon looked like she wanted to stab him on the spot.
Kazuma, however, slowly opened his eyes.
He didn’t see a goofy guy in sandals.
He saw a golden ticket to freedom.
‘That’s the smartest guy in the world,’ Kazuma thought, staring at Urahara’s hat.
‘The guy makes crazy magic gadgets out of junk.
Why am I doing paperwork with a pen when this guy can build a machine to do it for me?’
While the other Captains complained about Urahara’s bad manners, Kazuma was already smiling.
***
That evening, the Twelfth Division barracks were a complete mess.
Urahara had junk everywhere—broken wooden boxes, wires, half-made gadgets, and piles of scrap metal.
He was sitting on the wooden deck outside his room, wiping sweat from his forehead, looking totally wiped out.
“Rough first day, boss?” a lazy voice called out.
Urahara jumped, almost dropping his wrench.
Kazuma was leaning against the wall, holding a warm bag of fried chicken and a big jug of expensive wine.
Urahara let out a breath and relaxed.
“Oh, Captain Kazuma.
Did the old man send you to yell at me for the mess?”
“I don’t even clean my own room,” Kazuma said, walking over and dumping the fried chicken on the floorboards.
“I brought dinner.
And a business deal.”
Urahara’s eyes lit up.
He sat down cross-legged, grabbed a piece of chicken, and poured two cups of wine.
“A deal with me?” Urahara asked around a mouthful of food. You are reading on g.com, the official source.
“Most Captains think my junk is useless.”
“Most Captains are workaholics,” Kazuma replied.
He reached into his wide sleeve and rolled out a long piece of paper across the floor.
“I have a big squad budget, and I hate working.
You build cool stuff, and you need funding.
Let’s help each other out.”
Urahara picked up the paper and read the list out loud:
“Item one: An automatic rubber stamp that stamps ‘APPROVED’ on boring paperwork so I don’t have to read it.”
Urahara blinked.
“Item two: A tea kettle that boils cold water instantly without making me light a stove.”
Urahara rubbed his chin.
“Item three: A magic blanket that hides my spiritual energy so Yamamoto can’t find me when I take afternoon naps.”
Urahara stared at the list for five whole seconds.
Then he broke down laughing, slapping his knee so hard his hat almost fell off.
“You want me to use high-level spiritual science…
to make nap gear?” Urahara laughed, holding his stomach.
“Laziness drives progress, Urahara,” Kazuma said with a straight face, tapping his cup against Urahara’s.
“Make these three things work, and my division will fund your research lab with no questions asked.”
Urahara took a big gulp of wine, grinning from ear to ear.
“Deal, Captain.
You might be the best customer I’ll ever have.”
The two clicked their cups together under the stars.
Kazuma smiled as he took a sip.
For the first time since joining the Soul Society, having a Captain’s job was actually starting to pay off.