“Hey! You little brat, you dare show your face again!”
The Giant Spirit God’s massive form scooped up Shen Fuxing and the white horse with a single hand.
With a flick of his middle finger, he casually sent the horse flying.
Pinching the disheveled Shen Fuxing by the hair between his thumb and forefinger, he pulled down her mask, and two nostrils blasted out furious streams of air like a pair of high-powered steam engines.
Shen Fuxing instinctively covered her nose to avoid inhaling the toxic fumes and ending up like King Li.
Her covering her nose was one thing—but the moment she did, the Giant Spirit God completely lost it.
“—You!”
The Giant Spirit God sniffled. A towering brute over twenty meters tall, tears came streaming down his face, forming a waterfall that poured from the heavens.
“This god… this god will drown you!”
With that, he cried even harder. The muscular man sobbed and whimpered, possessing a bizarre beauty like a muscle-bound barbie.
Thanks to his and the white horse’s combined efforts, Shen Fuxing got a free hair wash.
What a sly bastard.
Shen Fuxing pulled an umbrella from her sleeve and held it over her head, wiped her face, then produced a megaphone. Pressing the button, she called out to him, dripping wet, “Hey! Big guy, how about we have a chat?”
“No chat!”
“I’ll apologize to you.”
“Not listening!”
“I’ll compensate you with six thousand Merit.”
“Don’t want it!”
“Then forget it.”
Shen Fuxing slipped nimbly through the gaps between his fingers, sliding down his armor like a loach to the ground, closed her umbrella, and walked away.
“—Huh?! What did you just say?” The Giant Spirit God realized what he’d just rejected, frantically looked left and right, searched the ground for Shen Fuxing’s figure, and stretched out a hand in a desperate plea.
“Wait, don’t go! Let’s talk!”
Shen Fuxing remained stone-faced: “No talk.”
“Whoosh—”
A giant xuánhuā battle-axe descended from the sky, blocking Shen Fuxing’s path.
The fierce Astral Wind sent the heavenly horses scattering in panic. Sand and stones flew wildly by the banks of the Heavenly River. For a full minute, Shen Fuxing couldn’t even open her eyes.
When she could finally open them, her soaked clothes and hair had already been dried by the wind.
If Shen Fuxing could post bullet comments, she’d have filled the screen with a barrage of “666” by now.
Seeing her stand frozen in place for so long, the Giant Spirit God figured she must have been frightened by the axe crashing down from the sky. His earlier sorrow vanished in an instant. He raised both arms in a Superman pose, the very picture of a sunny, cheerful big boy.
Radiating an aura of pure abstract art.
Shen Fuxing raised an eyebrow.
She liked it.
“Giant Spirit God, you’re so handsome! You’re the most handsome, most physically impressive deity I’ve ever seen in the Heavenly Court!” Shen Fuxing gave a thumbs up, lavishing every compliment she’d ever learned without reservation.
“Not only that, your complexion is absolutely gorgeous—like deep sapphire, unmatched throughout the entire Heavenly Court! Paired with that powerful chest, those abs, that magnificent gluteus maximus—you’re the epitome of masculine beauty! You’re simply the number one muscle god of the Heavenly Court!”
The Giant Spirit God struggled to suppress his smile, gradually losing himself in the wave of praise. “Heh heh, it’s nothing, it’s nothing. Just basic stuff.”
With that, Shen Fuxing’s eyes darted around slyly. Transforming into a master of motivational speaking, she began to PUA him.
“Big guy, with a physique this powerful and a figure this magnificent, you can succeed at anything you do!”
“They all say you have bad breath, but those idiots just don’t appreciate quality. This isn’t bad breath—this is a treasure! An auspicious blessing that can earn you mountains of Merit!”
The Giant Spirit God hung his head and let out a deep sigh. The sheer force of it nearly blew the slender Shen Fuxing away.
Seeing for the first time that even his sigh packed such power, the Giant Spirit God quickly crouched down and steadied Shen Fuxing’s body with one finger.
“Forget it, you don’t need to comfort me. Ever since I knocked out King Li with my breath, all my colleagues call me ‘Bad Breath Bro’ whenever they see me, and the celestial maidens won’t even talk to me anymore.”
A gloomy rain cloud hung over the Giant Spirit God’s head, occasionally striking down a bolt of lightning. He looked utterly miserable.
His fingers were thick and massive, like five pillars. Shen Fuxing couldn’t wrap her arms around one, so she pressed her warm cheek against it and nuzzled.
“My dear, if you find yourself at the lowest point of your divine life right now, please listen to what I’m about to say.”
The Giant Spirit God instinctively looked up.
“Congratulations—your luck is about to change!”
The Giant Spirit God looked puzzled.
Just then, Shen Fuxing suddenly transformed. Her limbs moved with lightning speed as she scrambled up like an agile baboon, flipping into the Giant Spirit God’s palm with a graceful somersault and landing flawlessly.
“—Because your moment of strength has arrived!”
The Giant Spirit God was stunned, and then a warmth welled up in his eyes.
He could tell at a glance that Shen Fuxing was a hero! And so was he!!
The bittersweet emotion of meeting a kindred spirit too late fermented violently in the air with sparks and thunder—it was hype, though no one knew exactly what they were hyped about.
Shen Fuxing shouted at the top of her lungs, “Do you want to earn tons and tons of Merit, and make those gods who mocked you jealous and worship you?”
“I do!”
“Do you want to restore your heroic image in the eyes of the Heavenly Court’s goddesses? Do you want to become the greatest guardian god in their hearts?”
“I do!!”
“Then do you want to work with me?”
“I do!!”
Shen Fuxing delivered her entrepreneurial manifesto, directly pushing the atmosphere to a climax, “When we achieve fame and success, that will be the day they can’t afford to look down on us!”
“Awesome!!”
Giant Spirit God’s brain was completely bought over by Shen Fuxing’s silver tongue and sweet talk.
At this moment, the way he looked at Shen Fuxing was no longer that of a “sly little yellow-haired girl,” but a radiant life mentor, a mini angel with ten halos above her head bringing him salvation!
“But if bad breath doesn’t even damage Meritorious Virtue, that’s already good enough—how do we earn Merit?” Giant Spirit God asked in confusion, scratching the back of his head with his other hand.
Hearing this, Shen Fuxing instantly transformed from an angel into a shrewd merchant. Putting on her sunglasses, she cared about nothing but Merit, “Don’t worry, watch me work.”
The Heavenly Court also has phones and shopping platforms.
Mortals buy things with cash, while gods and Buddhas use Merit as their currency.
Generally speaking, Merit is proportional to Cultivation Base. Just look at the top ten on the Divine Forbes Rich List—Tathagata Buddha, Jade Emperor… every single one is a great power renowned across the Three Realms.
There are many ways for immortals to earn Merit. Besides doing good deeds, it’s largely no different from how mortals make money in the Mortal Realm.
Today, the popular shopping platform “Pin Good Things” launched a new anti-wolf spray, produced by Giant Spirit God and a mysterious immortal lady whose profile picture is “persuading others with reason.”
As for its effectiveness, King Li of the Pagoda has already personally tested it on behalf of everyone.
Juling Anti-Wolf Spray—spray it on anyone, and they’re six feet under.
No physical attacks, all Magical Damage.
One hundred percent critical hit rate, capable of easily subduing a Heavenly King-level powerhouse.
Social butterfly Taibai Jinxing gave it a five-star review:
【Three minutes from ordering to delivery. Already tested it. The power is terrifyingly formidable. For a frail old man like me, it’s an absolute must-have when going out. @_Barefoot Immortal】
(Sun Wukong the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, Great God of the Three Altars and Seas… all found this (like)
Barefoot Immortal: 【Old Taibai! Are you f***ing insane?!!】
IP: Heavenly Court Medicine King Residence. South District. Intensive Care Unit