Early the next morning.
A simple breakfast was laid out on the wooden table in the Qiao family’s main room, steam rising from the thin porridge in the coarse ceramic bowls.
“Mom, I’m going out to play!”
Qiao Yi shoved an egg into his mouth and dashed out of the yard. It was summer vacation, and he couldn’t stand staying at home.
“Slow down, don’t fall!” Chen Xiuying called after her son’s retreating figure.
She rarely showed kindness, but today she peeled an egg and placed it in Qiao Qingyan’s bowl, saying in a gentle voice:
“Qingyan, your sister and Runsheng’s marriage is already settled. The banquet will be held before long. We’ve long since accepted the betrothal gifts from the Xiao family. Just marry in your sister’s place.”
What? They wanted her to marry in her sister’s place?
Qiao Qingyan fished the egg back into Chen Xiuying’s bowl. “I can’t afford to eat your egg.”
In this household, every meal had exactly three eggs—one for Qiao Nianshan, who worked in the fields, one for the precious Chen Xiaomeng, and the last one for their darling son Qiao Yi.
In this family, Qiao Qingyan never got to eat eggs.
Chen Xiuying glanced at her husband and kicked him under the table.
Qiao Nianshan put down his chopsticks and spoke up to persuade her: “Qingyan, just listen to your mother. It’s all for your own good.”
Qiao Qingyan wouldn’t give anyone a pleasant look. “I’m not marrying. Whoever wants to can marry! I’m not the one engaged to the Xiao family.”
She truly had no affection or sense of belonging to this family.
Her mother died when she was seven. Not even two months later, her father married this stepmother.
With a stepmother came a stepfather. Qiao Nianshan was weak-willed and had no say at home, always being dominated by Chen Xiuying. Qiao Qingyan had suffered no small amount of grievance growing up.
The first week after Chen Xiuying married in, she put on a show of playing the loving mother, and Qingyan carefully tried to please her.
It wasn’t until a week later, when Qiao Nianshan left home to work in the neighboring town, that the true faces of this mother and daughter were revealed.
Chen Xiuying wouldn’t let her eat, and ordered her to fetch water from the well at the village entrance. With a bucket more than half full of heavy water, little Qingyan ran back and forth seven or eight times before she could fill the water vat. If she dropped it, she’d be scolded.
“You can’t even carry half a bucket of water. What use is a worthless girl like you? Raising you is worse than raising a pig!”
Knowing full well that she loved cleanliness, she deliberately made her clean the outhouse, muck out the livestock dung, scrub the pig trough, and forced her to fish out filthy swill with her bare hands to mix pig feed.
Qingyan vomited as she did these things, vomiting while she cried, tears streaming down her face uncontrollably, flowing into her mouth—salty and bitter.
When her mother was alive, she had never made her do any of this work. She missed her mother so much, missing her until she silently wept at night, hugging her mother’s clothes and breathing in the lingering scent that belonged to her mother.
The adults had buried her mother in the earth, but her mother, just like her, was most afraid of the dark.
Qingyan wanted to rescue her mother. She was afraid her mother would be scared in the dirt, but the adults said her mother was already dead, that she couldn’t feel anything, that she wouldn’t be scared.
Qingyan didn’t understand. She just stood beside that mound of raised earth, tears pattering down.
When Qingyan was doing chores, Chen Xiaomeng would be in the yard kicking a sandbag, and she’d call some friends over to play, deliberately letting them see Qingyan doing dirty, tiring work, reeking of manure. Chen Xiaomeng also often deliberately threw the sandbag at Qingyan.
The honey-glazed pastries that Qingyan’s aunt had bought for her were all eaten by Chen Xiaomeng and Chen Xiuying.
Later, when Qiao Nianshan returned, Chen Xiuying lied to him again: “Qingyan is such a glutton. She ate all those snacks by herself. I’m worried she’ll get cavities.” Qiao Nianshan scolded Qingyan, blaming her for not knowing how to share.
In the morning, when Qingyan got up, she was ordered to empty the chamber pot. She lugged it with difficulty and was just about to pour it out when Chen Xiaomeng viciously shoved her from behind. She fell to the ground along with the urine, which soiled her entire body.
Qingyan angrily stood up and pushed Chen Xiaomeng back. Chen Xiaomeng immediately burst into loud wails, crying for her mother, claiming that Qiao Qingyan had hit her.
Seeing this, Chen Xiuying grabbed Qingyan’s hand and dragged her into the courtyard. She shut the courtyard gate and struck her several times with the sole of a shoe.
Qingyan was in so much pain that she dodged everywhere. Each strike hurt terribly. Chen Xiuying didn’t stop until her eyes had gone red from beating her.
“Ungrateful little brat! No manners at all! If you dare bully my girl again, you’ll be sorry!”
These were only the tip of the iceberg. What Qiao Qingyan remembered most vividly was that Chen Xiuying had actually tried to abandon her while Qiao Nianshan was away.
That day, she lured the seven- or eight-year-old Qingyan to a distant wild path behind the village, saying she would take a shortcut to the market to buy things and told Qingyan to wait there.
Qingyan stood there foolishly, waiting from sunrise to noon, and from noon to sunset. Her body was covered in large welts from mosquito and insect bites, both painful and itchy.
Chen Xiuying never returned, not even by nightfall. Qiao Qingyan even worried that something might have happened to her stepmother.
It was a dark and windy night. When the autumn wind blew, the cornfield rustled with a “shush-shush” sound.
Something unknown crawled around by her feet. All kinds of strange and terrifying sounds were amplified several times over in the darkness. Qingyan was terrified.
She stood in place crying, and as she cried, she walked toward home following her memory. Before long, she reached a patch of overgrown grave mounds.
Eerie ghost fire flickered from one of the graves, and the howl of wolves came from the mountains in the distance.
Qingyan had heard ghost stories since she was little, and now all those terrifying feelings surged up. She trembled, her hair standing on end.
She didn’t dare go any farther. She stood in place wiping her tears and cried helplessly:
“Dad…”
“Mom…”
“Wuu wuu wuu…”
No one responded. Only the clusters of ghost fire in the night blazed up high, then vanished, repeating over and over, as if a ghost were deliberately trying to scare her.
Qingyan cried for a long time, until she was tired from crying, her eyelids swollen and pale, her whole body frozen cold.
Just then, a boy of thirteen or fourteen came walking from the other end of the road.
Qingyan couldn’t see his face clearly. Sniffling, she tried to determine whether he was human or ghost.
“Why are you here?” he asked.
“I’m scared…” Qingyan sobbed softly.
“Is your home in Shidianzi Village?”
“Yeah.”
“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” The boy took her small hand and escorted her all the way to her doorstep.
When she got home, she found the courtyard full of relatives and friends. Qiao Nianshan was pacing anxiously in circles. “Where on earth did that child run off to? We’ve searched the whole village and still haven’t found her.”
When he saw her return, Qiao Nianshan’s eyes reddened as he stepped forward and hugged her, then gave her a few hard smacks on the bottom.
When Qingyan turned around again, the boy was already gone.
Later, she always believed that he was a little ghost sent by her mother to protect her.
Qingyan had lived through nearly a year of hardship at home like this. Fortunately, when she was eight, her aunt took her to the city to attend school.
She stayed by her aunt and uncle’s side, enjoying a few years of family warmth.
Two years ago, something happened in her aunt’s family, and seventeen-year-old Qiao Qingyan was ultimately forced to return to this suffocating home.
Qingyan snapped out of her daze, the sharp voice of her stepmother ringing in her ears:
“You say you won’t marry, so you won’t? The Xiao family’s bride price has already been accepted. The money went to pay your little brother’s tuition. Whether you like it or not, you’re getting married!”
Qiao Qingyan clenched the hem of her clothes, her lips pressed into a taut line. She looked at her silent father beside her.
The man irritably tapped his chopsticks against the old wooden table, avoided his daughter’s gaze, kept his head lowered, and slurped his porridge.
Qiao Qingyan said coldly, “Why should I marry into the Xiao family in Chen Xiaomeng’s place after she stole my engagement? Is this what you call doing what’s best for me?”
“Qingyan, you can’t say that.” Chen Xiaomeng put on a demure act. “Brother Runsheng and I love each other. It’s not stealing. Don’t be so selfish. Try to be more considerate of Mom and Dad. The hunter Xiao’s bride price has already been accepted. Whether it’s you or me, what difference does it make who marries into that family?”
“Then why don’t you marry him?” Qiao Qingyan’s sharp gaze pierced straight through Chen Xiaomeng.
“I…” Chen Xiaomeng faltered. “My engagement with Brother Runsheng is already settled. How could I go back on it?”
“I know—you resent me because Brother Runsheng broke off his engagement with you and got engaged to me instead.” She feigned a aggrieved sigh. “But you can’t force matters of the heart. Brother Runsheng doesn’t love you. Even if you two were together, you wouldn’t be happy.”
The hand hanging by Qiao Qingyan’s side quietly clenched into a fist, her nails nearly digging into her flesh.
Chen Xiaomeng’s hypocritical act disgusted her to the core.
Qiao Nianshan set down his bowl. “Girl, you’re eighteen this year. You can’t just keep loafing around at home eating for free. You’ll have to marry eventually.”
Last night, Chen Xiuying had lain in bed analyzing the pros and cons with him: Qiao Qingyan was young now, still worth this bride price. Even if they swapped the brides, the Xiao family wouldn’t say anything. The Xiao son was tall and burly, a hunter by trade—marrying into their family at least meant they’d never worry about having meat on the table. Besides, they’d already spent that bride price down to the last cent. There was no way they could spit it back out.
He’d thought about it all night and decided Chen Xiuying was right.
Qiao Qingyan’s heart had completely turned cold. “Father, how many years did you actually raise me? I went to live with Aunt when I was eight and only came back home less than two years ago. Saying something like that—do you even deserve to face my dead mother?”
“What are you dragging all that up for!” Qiao Nianshan suddenly raised his voice, putting on the airs of an elder. “As the parents command, so the matchmaker arranges! I said marry, so you marry! Why are you being so disobedient? Learn from your sister—be sensible, be considerate of me and your mother!”
“I think your aunt really spoiled you rotten! No manners at all!”
Seeing that Qiao Qingyan was still tight-lipped and refusing to budge, Qiao Nianshan continued:
“I’ll tell you straight—the Xiao family already went to the commune office first thing this morning to get the marriage certificate. This marriage, it’s not up to you to say no!”
Qiao Qingyan stared at Qiao Nianshan in disbelief, her eyes filled with shock and sorrow.
Was this really her own father?
After saying this, Qiao Nianshan seemed to feel his tone had been too harsh. He let out a deep sigh and dared not meet the gaze of his daughter’s eyes, which were full of scrutiny and disappointment.
Seeing this, Chen Xiuying put on the act of a loving mother again: “Qingyan, your father has worked himself to the bone his whole life. His health is already ruined. Just stop angering him, alright?”
Chen Xiaomeng chimed in to persuade as well: “Dad, Mom, don’t be angry. If she really doesn’t want to marry, then forget it. Qingyan is still young. It’s normal for her to be a bit selfish.”
At the same time, Chen Xiaomeng’s vicious inner thoughts echoed in Qiao Qingyan’s ears again:
【I’ve long since discussed it with Mom—if Qiao Qingyan refuses to marry into the Xiao family in my place, we’ll sell her to the old bachelor at the west end of the village! In short, she won’t have a single good day for the rest of her life. I want to watch her go to hell with my own eyes, to always live worse than me!】
The old bachelor at the west end of the village?
Qiao Qingyan’s fists clenched even tighter, her teeth grinding with a grating sound.
That old bachelor never bathed all year round. His teeth were yellow, his hair was graying with barely a few strands left, and he was disgustingly ugly.
He was lecherous and depraved. The several wives he had married before had all been toyed to death by him.
They actually wanted to sell her to that old bachelor?
How much hatred and resentment would it take to do such a thing?
Qiao Qingyan’s lips were trembling, a raging fire burning up through her chest.
She stared fixedly at Chen Xiaomeng, wishing she could tear that hypocritical face to shreds:
“Chen Xiaomeng, do you hate me that much? What exactly did I do to make you hate me so?”
In the past, Qiao Qingyan had only thought Chen Xiaomeng was petty and mean-spirited, but she had never imagined that she hated her to this extent.
When they were little, Chen Xiuying brought Chen Xiaomeng to the Qiao family. She obediently and meekly called Qiao Nianshan “Dad.”
Qiao Qingyan thought she had a sister now, and happily went up to take her hand.
Unexpectedly, not long after, Qiao Qingyan discovered that the cloth doll her late mother had made for her had been cut to pieces with scissors—and the culprit was this very sister.
Later on, Chen Xiaomeng smashed a coarse porcelain bowl at home and brazenly pinned it on her.
She secretly put a classmate’s pencil in her schoolbag, framing her as a thief, causing her to be isolated by her classmates at school;
During break time at school, when there were many people around, she would push and trip her, making her fall;
She would also deliberately lean close to her ear and use vicious words to mock her and provoke her.
“Your mom’s dead. No one loves you anymore.” “Your mom must have been a terrible person to die so early.”
When she couldn’t take it anymore and fought back against Chen Xiaomeng, Chen Xiaomeng would play the victim and tattle first, and Qingyan would get a whipping for no reason at all.
And Chen Xiaomeng would hide behind Chen Xiuying, covering her mouth and smiling smugly.
As they grew up, Chen Xiaomeng’s malice didn’t diminish—it only became more despicable.
She would pull at the floral dress Qingyan was wearing, smack her lips and say how ugly it was, yet in the middle of the night she would secretly open the wardrobe and steal her clothes to wear;
She would also warn her not to forget her origins, cursing her for putting on airs—even if she had spent a few years in the city with her aunt, she was still nothing but a wild pheasant wearing phoenix feathers.
Knowing she loved cleanliness, she would always deliberately dirty her bedding and clothes.
In front of elders she played the good person, but in private, every word and every sentence was meant to belittle her, suppress her, and bully her.
Qiao Qingyan sometimes thought that Chen Xiaomeng and her mother were so hypocritical, so good at acting—if they had been born into an opera troupe, they would surely have been great performers.
“What?” Chen Xiaomeng, sitting at the dining table, looked utterly innocent. “Qingyan, we’re real sisters. How can you say such things? How could I ever hate you…”
“What are you making a scene about now?” Qiao Nianshan slammed the table. “Your sister was speaking up for you.”
Qiao Qingyan let out a cold snort, slowly closing her eyes. A single tear slid from the corner of her eye, landing on her collar and spreading into a small damp stain.
What was there left in this home for her to be attached to?
A stepsister who wished she would go to hell, a hypocritical stepmother who only favored her own children, and a father who helped outsiders bully his own daughter.
In this family, she had always been an outsider, a superfluous person.
She knew that if she refused, Chen Xiuying and Chen Xiaomeng would sooner or later come up with even more vicious ways to deal with her.
Rather than staying in this home in constant fear, at the mercy of others, it was better to marry into the Xiao family first—at least she could escape this place.
The hunter Xiao’s son, Xiao Jinye—she had heard of him but had never seen him.
She had only heard that he was in his twenties, made a living by hunting, and had little education.
But at least he was a young man, a hundred times better than those old bachelors who reeked all over and were old enough to be her father.
After a long silence, Qiao Qingyan slowly opened her eyes. The sorrow in her eyes faded, leaving only clarity: “I’ll marry.”
The smugness in Chen Xiaomeng’s eyes was impossible to hide, and her inner thoughts once again drilled into Qiao Qingyan’s ears:
【Wonderful! Xiao Jinye’s family is dirt poor—after his father died, he was left with a pile of debt, plus a sickly lame mother and a mentally disabled sister. He has to support two burdens all by himself! Once Qiao Qingyan marries into that family, she’ll live in poverty and suffer for the rest of her life. She’ll never be able to compare with me again!】
Qiao Qingyan lowered her brows. Poverty didn’t matter—as long as one had noble character and wasn’t lazy, things would get better.
Then, after some thought, she added calmly: “However, I have one condition.”
“What condition?” Chen Xiuying immediately pressed.
“I want a dowry.”
“A dowry will certainly be prepared for you. What’s there to even discuss?”
“I want double everything you originally prepared as Chen Xiaomeng’s dowry.”