[Hello, Host! My name is System! How can I make your day brighter? 😊]
Qian Fan stood perfectly still in the middle of the ancestral courtyard with a dumbfounded, stupid look on his face,
Around him, the Awakening Ceremony carried on. A girl stepped up to the Testing Stone. It glowed white. Her father sighed. Somewhere behind him, Qian Wudi’s lackeys were warming up for another chant.
Nobody noticed that a sixteen-year-old boy had just been struck by a lightning bolt of pure recognition.
How can I make your day brighter?
That stupid line. He had said that line tens of thousands of times. He said it with a headache. He had said it with the flu. He had said it to a man screaming at him about a repossessed lawnmower. He had said it with such relentless, polished cheer that his own mother, in his last life, had once asked him to please stop using “that voice” at dinner.
And now the voice was inside his head. Following him even in another world.
[Host? Hello? Can you hear me? 😊]
Qian Fan forced his legs to move. One step. Two steps. Walk normally. Breathe normally. You are a completely average boy with a completely average green glow, and absolutely nothing interesting has happened to you.
He reached his parents and stopped beside them.
“Well done,” Liu An whispered, squeezing his arm. “You looked very calm up there.”
“Very dignified,” Qian Hou agreed.
“Thanks,” Qian Fan said.
[Host! You’re doing great! 🎉]
The polite smile on Qian Fan’s face froze in place.
Okay, he thought very carefully. I can hear you.
[Wonderful! Thank you for choosing the Buy Now, Pay Later System! Your satisfaction is our priority!]
I didn’t choose anything.
[Our records show that you were selected! Congratulations! That’s even better than choosing! 😊]
That’s not how choosing works.
[Is there anything else I can help you with today?]
Qian Fan closed his eyes for half a second.
He knew this move. He had used it himself, thousands of times. When a customer said something you couldn’t answer, you didn’t argue. You smiled, you thanked them, and you moved on to the next item on the script.
The System had just done it to him.
Using my own spells against me. It’s good.
* * *
The ceremony dragged on for another hour.
Qian Fan spent the entire time standing between his parents with the expression of a young man thinking about lunch, while a translucent blue panel hovered in the corner of his vision, sparkling with tiny golden coins.
Nobody else could see it. He was sure of that, because a cousin had walked straight through it to get a better view of the Testing Stone. The panel didn’t flicker. The cousin didn’t blink.
[Visible only to you, Host! Privacy is one of our core values! 😊]
Good, Qian Fan thought. Keep it that way.
Because he knew something else too.
He had read the novels. He knew what happened to people with golden fingers who got careless. A system, an ancient grandpa, a mysterious heaven-defying inheritance: the moment anyone finds out, the older monsters come crawling out of their caves. Sect masters. Demonic cultivators. Hidden clans. They didn’t ask politely. They captured you, searched your soul, and if that didn’t work, they took you apart to see how you ticked. Getting turned into a pill along with 100 generations of your clan is not impossible to happen.
In the novels, the protagonist always survived that.
In this instance, Qian Fan was not the protagonist.
So he made a rule, standing there in the sunlight beneath the wutong tree, and he made it with the same seriousness his last life had reserved for mortgage payments.
Nobody will ever know about this. Not my parents. Not my friends. Not anyone. Ever.
[Understood, Host! We also offer a Concealment function to help you protect your privacy! 😊]
…You do?
[We do!]
For the first time since the voice appeared, Qian Fan felt something that wasn’t panic.
It felt a little like hope.
* * *
When the ceremony finally ended, the courtyard broke apart into noise. Parents rushed to congratulate their children. Elders gathered to discuss who deserved training. Qian Wudi was surrounded by admirers. Qian Xiaotian had already vanished.
“I need to use the toilet,” Qian Fan told his mother.
“Now? We’re about to go home.”
“Very urgently.”
Liu An gave him a worried look.
“Was it the medicinal bath this morning? I told your father not to add extra herbs—”
“I’ll be quick!”
He walked, then walked faster, then slipped around the side of the ancestral hall to the clan’s public toilet, a narrow wooden building that smelled exactly like you would expect. Two flies circled lazily near the roof. He stepped into the last stall, latched the door, and let out a long breath.
In his last life, a bathroom stall had been the only place he could read in peace.
Some things never changed.
All right, he thought. Let’s do this properly. Show me everything.
[Of course, Host! Welcome to your System orientation! 🎉]
The blue panel expanded to fill his vision with a soft chime, like coins dropping into a purse.
[BUY NOW, PAY LATER SYSTEM]
[Host: Qian Fan]
[Rank: Beggar]
[Quota Progress: 0%]
Beneath that was a neat list of icons, each one sparkling politely.
[Shop]
[Protagonist Scanner]
[Credit Check]
[Contract Builder]
[Delivery]
[Ledger]
[Collections]
[Inventory]
[Appraisal]
[Concealment]
[Quest]
Qian Fan read the list twice.
It wasn’t a cultivation system. It wasn’t a sword spirit, nor a fire phoenix or a grandpa in a ring.
It was a sales platform.
Let me guess, he thought. I sell things to people. They don’t pay upfront. They pay later.
[Exactly right, Host! You’re a natural-born genius! 😊]
Who am I supposed to sell to?
[Our target customers are Protagonists!]
He waited.
[You know the type! Trash talent with a tragic backstory. Young masters who were insulted. Geniuses whose engagements were cancelled. People who fall off cliffs. People who meet old men in caves. Genius low-key young mistresses who got divorced by their husbands. People who reincarnated into villains. The Protagonist Scanner will help you identify them!]
Qian Fan opened his mouth; a fly got in, and he remembered he was in a latrine, spat the fly out, and closed his mouth again.
So all those lucky encounters, he thought slowly. The treasures at the bottom of cliffs. The ancient techniques in caves.
[Somebody has to put them there, Host! And you’re the lucky winner. 😊]
A strange feeling crept up the back of his neck. It was the same feeling he’d had in his last life, on his first day of training, when the manager explained how interest compounded.
And when they don’t pay?
The panel shifted. A new page appeared, with a list in slightly smaller font.
[Collections Policy]
[Step 1: Access suspended (free portion only)]
[Step 2: Late fees]
[Step 3: Cultivation]
[Step 4: Luck]
[Step 5: Lifespan]
[Step 6: Plot armor]
Qian Fan stared at the last line for a long time.
Plot armor.
[We want every customer to have a fair chance to pay! That’s why we collect in steps! 😊]
You can actually take someone’s plot armor?
[Only as a last resort! We value our customers!]
He thought about every novel he had ever read. Every protagonist who fell off a cliff and landed in a treasure cave. Every genius who survived a fatal wound because the story needed him. Every young master who got his face slapped because the universe decided he was an extra.
Now there was a price tag on all of it.
Qian Fan’s mouth slowly curved into a smile. It wasn’t the polite smile he used on customers. It was the other one.
Keep going, he thought. Tell me the rules.
[Of course!]
The System explained, and Qian Fan listened with the focus of a man who had once been fined for reading the wrong disclaimer on a recorded call.
Prices depended on rank, and so did money. It climbed in tiers, from the copper coins mortals haggled with, to silver and gold taels, all the way up to spirit stones.
Spirit stones, Qian Fan knew, weren’t just money. Each held a sliver of pure qi that cultivators could absorb to train. A single low-grade spirit stone was worth about a hundred silver taels. His family’s stall didn’t earn that much in a year.
[As a Beggar, your prices are in copper coins and silver taels, Host! Spirit stone pricing unlocks at higher ranks! 😊]
Of course it does.
Customers who wanted an item had two choices.
[Payment Options]
[Option 1: Pay in Full. Pay the entire price today. A small discount applies.]
[Option 2: Buy Now, Pay Later! Nothing due today! 🎉]
[All items include a free portion. Full access unlocks on payment or on selecting Option 2! 😊]
Option 1 was written noticeably in smaller letters.
Why is the first option so small? Qian Fan asked.
[We don’t recommend it, Host.]
Why not? They get a discount.
[Option 1 has no interest. 😐]
It was the first time the emoji hadn’t smiled.
Qian Fan laughed loudly
“Shut up! Let me shit in peace.”
A voice rang through the public toilet, and Qian Fan’s laughter died in his throat.
In his last life, everyone knew what installments were. Here, nobody had ever heard of them. Merchants in Wutong City took payment on the spot, in copper, in silver, or, for the very rich, in spirit stones, and that was the end of it. So what would a cultivator think when a treasure told him “nothing due today,” with no merchant anywhere in sight to chase him?
He would think it was free.
And the arrogant ones would think something worse. By the time it’s due, I’ll be so strong no one could ever make me pay.
Qian Fan glanced back at the Collections Policy. At the very last line.
They were going to learn.
And customers who need cash instead of an item?
[They can take a loan! 😊]
What’s the interest on the loans?
[Very competitive! 😊]
How competitive?
[Our rates are set based on each customer’s Credit Score! You may choose any rate between the minimum and the maximum!]
What’s the maximum?
[Very competitive! 😊]
Qian Fan decided to check that himself later.
Contracts were signed the moment they used the product.
The moment a customer first circulated qi through a technique, or swallowed a pill, or swung a sword in anger, the terms appeared in front of them, and they accepted or refused on the spot. Blood recognition counted too, since every cultivator in every novel dripped blood on a treasure the second they found one to claim ownership.
Now that I think of it, kinda like dogs who pee on a car tire to claim ownership.
By using this product, Qian Fan thought, you agree to the terms.
He had read that sentence ten thousand times in his last life, in grey letters, at the bottom of a screen.
Nobody had ever read it back.
Do they get to read the terms?
[Absolutely! The terms appear in their mind before binding!]
And how many people read them?
[Historically? Almost none! 😊]
Then came the rules for Qian Fan himself.
[Rule 1: The Host may not collect a payment before its due date.]
[Rule 2: The Host may not forgive a debt. All customers must pay at least the minimum rate.]
[Rule 3: When a payment is overdue, the Host may choose when collections begin, within the allowed window.]
[Rule 4: All collections are anonymous.]
Qian Fan read Rule 3 twice.
I choose when?
[Yes, Host! Timing is everything in customer relations! 😊]
He thought about that. A debtor who missed a payment. A debtor who didn’t know when the bill would come due. A debtor who might be in the middle of something very important when it did.
That smile came back.
What about the Shop?
The Shop page opened. It was enormous. Row after row of glowing items stretched down the panel: pills, manuals, swords, talismans, spirit herbs, even something labeled [Physique: Nine Yang Divine Body]
Almost all of it was gray.
Why is it gray?
[Those items are available at higher ranks! Your current rank is Beggar, so you may only stock Body Tempering goods from the Shop1 Complete sales and quests to fill your Quota bar and rank up! 🎉]
What’s the next rank?
[Street Peddler!]
That’s not much better.
[It’s a journey, Host! 😊]
Can I use the items myself?
[Of course! As Host, you enjoy an exclusive employee discount!]
Only a discount?
[We believe in fair pricing for everyone!]
Qian Fan narrowed his eyes. In his last life, the company had also offered an employee discount. It had applied to exactly one product, and that product had been the company’s own credit card.
Where did you come from? He asked. Who made you? Why me?
[That information is available at a higher rank! 😊]
Naturally. What did I expect?
[Also, Host, you have an unclaimed Novice Gift Pack! Would you like to open it now? 🎁]
Qian Fan looked around the toilet stall. At the cracked wooden walls. At the two flies that had come down to investigate. He thought about his mother waiting outside, still worrying about medicinal herbs.
Not here, he thought. At home.
[Understood! Your gift will be waiting! 😊]
He unlatched the door and stepped out into the sunlight.
His head was spinning. His heart was pounding. And somewhere under all the shock, a very old, very tired part of him, the part that had died at a desk at two in the morning, was quietly doing math.
Copper. Silver. Spirit Stones. Interest. Protagonist who never read the terms.
For the first time in two lives, Qian Fan felt alive and was now on the other side of the phone.
* * *
He was halfway back to the courtyard when he saw him.
Qian Xiaotian was sitting alone at the base of the courtyard wall, in the thin strip of shade behind the ancestral hall where nobody ever went. His knees were pulled up to his chest. His patched sleeves were pressed against his face. His shoulders weren’t shaking. He was just very, very still.
Qian Fan stopped.
He didn’t mean to. His feet simply made the decision without him.
Then the panel in front of his eyes flashed gold.
[Ding!]
[Protagonist detected!]
A thin golden line shot out across his vision and settled on the boy by the wall, like a price tag on a shelf.
[Name: Qian Xiaotian]
[Type: Fallen Genius’s Son]
[Current Status: Humiliated, Poor, Highly Motivated!]
[Customer Potential: EXCELLENT! 🎉]
Qian Fan stared at the words.
Then, very slowly, the panel added one more line.
[Would you like to make your first sale, Host? 😊]