The server was clearly professional. She was not startled by Shu Xing’s sudden look of bewilderment.
She said softly, “Mr. Xi is inside waiting for you.” Seeing that Shu Xing still had a look of stunned disbelief, she further explained, “The reservation for the restaurant tonight is under the name Mr. Xi. However, he mentioned you might only know him by his other name, Yu Hui.”
Shu Xing was speechless.
Shu Xing’s brain capacity was no longer sufficient the moment he heard the words “Mr. Xi.” The only person he could think of with the surname Xi was one person. Perhaps it was because he knew too few people or had not encountered many surnames, but Shu Xing asked blankly to confirm, “The Mr. Xi you are talking about, is it Xi Yang?”
The server had no idea that Shu Xing was currently experiencing the most socially catastrophic moment of his life. She said with a smile, “Correct! That is the name he left when he made the reservation!”
With that, the server stepped aside to open the path and gestured with her hand, “Sir, this way please.”
Terrified that the server would lead him directly into the main dining hall, Shu Xing quickly raised his hand to cover his face and waved her off. “I cannot go in, I really cannot.”
Fortunately, there was still a partition wall blocking the view of the main hall. The person inside would not be able to see him immediately. Shu Xing cautiously peeked out, trying to see who was sitting in the hall. After clearly seeing that familiar side profile and those sharp features, Shu Xing pulled his head back like a startled turtle.
Holy—!
Shu Xing’s current feelings were indescribable. Panic, shame, unease, and embarrassment. It felt as if every negative emotion in the world had crowded into his body at once.
He was panicked because he had no idea what to do. He felt shame because recalling the series of online flirtations and text sex with Xi Yang made him feel he should delete himself from the world right now. He felt unease because he was afraid that if Xi Yang discovered the baby he had been calling for two years was actually him, he would throw a punch. And the embarrassment! Damn it, who would not be embarrassed in this situation?
The server, seeing Shu Xing’s face turn pale and then flush red, asked with concern, “Sir, are you alright?”
“Uh, I,” he stammered.
In his hand, several more messages from Yu Hui arrived.
Yu Hui: “Baby, are you here?” Yu Hui: “Where are you? Do you need me to come out and meet you?” Yu Hui: “I am going to the restroom first. If you arrive and do not see me, just wait a moment!”
Shu Xing pursed his lips and could not help but let out a laugh. It was not a laugh because Xi Yang was still calling him baby, but rather the kind of hysterical smile one gives after a total mental breakdown. He held his forehead, feeling utterly crushed.
As the sound of the person inside getting up to go to the restroom reached his ears, Shu Xing finally made a decision.
“I am sorry, I forgot something. It is a surprise. I have to go back and get it. Please do not tell him I was here!”
Shu Xing practically fled the restaurant. Afraid that Xi Yang might see his silhouette through the floor to ceiling windows, he crouched low and ran until he was clear of the area. He hailed a taxi. He did not dare go back to the apartment, and he did not dare go back to the dorm, so he told the driver to take him to the hotel he had booked earlier that evening.
When Shu Xing collapsed onto the hotel bed, his mindset was on the verge of collapse. The phone beside him vibrated incessantly. Terrified that Xi Yang might track him down through the internet, he scrambled to the door and locked it.
In reality, there had been many clues in his life. If he had just connected the dots, he could have guessed it long ago. For instance, Xi Yang often played that Xianxia game in the dorm. Every time Shu Xing passed by, he looked away out of politeness. If he had just had a little less moral integrity, he would have seen the character name on Xi Yang’s screen.
Then there was the matter of renting the apartment. He had been suspicious back then, but he was too naive, truly believing Xi Yang had rented it for himself. If he had thought deeper, damn it, Xi Yang’s family was so wealthy and owned several properties in the city. Why would he need to rent a place?
And when they did text sex! No wonder Xi Yang suddenly walked out of that public restroom after they finished. It turned out they were not just flirting across a screen. They were doing it across a few bathroom stalls!
Shame flooded him instantly. Shu Xing crouched by the door with his face flushed red, clutching his head. He felt like dying. Why did it have to be Xi Yang? Anyone else would have been fine, but why Xi Yang? What kind of shitty fate was this!
He had been in an online relationship with someone he hated for two years without knowing it. Shu Xing believed no one in the world was unluckier than him. Moreover, he had complained about Xi Yang to Yu Hui so many times. If Xi Yang ever found out, he was dead!
The phone kept ringing. Xi Yang was clearly losing patience. Voice call requests came one after another. When the voice calls were not answered, he dialed Shu Xing’s number directly. The bombardment of ringtones did not stop for half an hour.
Come to think of it, Xi Yang was quite something. Not only did Shu Xing pinch his voice during calls, but Xi Yang did it too! Usually so cold and indifferent, yet on a voice call, his voice was tender, calling him baby this and baby that. And that face of his, always looking like he had no earthly desires, yet on the call, he asked if he liked doing it in the shower.
The more he thought about it, the more ashamed and humiliated he felt. Shu Xing really wanted to find a beach, dig a hole, and let the rising tide swallow him whole. Under the pressure of Xi Yang’s constant calls, Shu Xing finally could not take it. He hung up and did not even dare look at the messages. He simply sent a line in the chat.
“Baby, I think we are not suitable for each other.”
After sending the message, he blocked him instantly. Fearing that Xi Yang would call again, he put the phone on airplane mode. Without the ringing, the room fell into a sudden, heavy silence.
Shu Xing sat on the floor, burying his head in his arms. He could not accept that his Yu Hui had turned into Xi Yang, nor could he accept that the person he had hated for two years was the person he liked most online. But if he could not accept it, then every transfer Xi Yang had sent him felt like a debt. Every cent in his account spoke of the fact that Shu Xing was a coward in love.
Heartache and anxiety surged through him. He felt as though he were soaked in acid. His stomach began to ache with cramps, and his hands turned cold from anxiety. He sat there until the doorbell rang.
Shu Xing was terrified. Had Xi Yang found him? He stood up and checked the monitor. Fortunately, it was just hotel room service. They delivered a package he had ordered earlier, full of condoms and lubricant. The sight of it brought a fresh wave of shame. He buried his face in the blankets. He could not accept letting Xi Yang touch him.
He spent a restless night, waking up from nightmares of Xi Yang calling him a liar or forcing him into various positions. By early morning, he checked out of the hotel. He did not dare return to the apartment since it was rented by Xi Yang, so he decided to return to the school dorm.
When he entered the room, Cheng Xinyu and He Wennan were still in bed. They poked their heads out, their eyes losing some excitement when they saw it was Shu Xing.
“I thought it was Brother Xi returning from his meeting!” “Me too.”
Shu Xing closed the door, feeling guilty as he glanced at Xi Yang’s empty bed. “I am moving back in.”
“What?!” The two heads popped out again. Shu Xing had just said he would invite them to his apartment, and now he was back? Shu Xing adjusted his emotions and said calmly, “I am not used to living alone. It is more lively here.”
Just then, the dorm door was pushed open with such force that it hit the bed frame and bounced back. Xi Yang walked in, his face cold and indifferent. The air in the room seemed to freeze instantly.
Cheng Xinyu and He Wennan did not dare say a word. Shu Xing, kneeling on his bed, gripped the railing until his palms left wet marks. “Xi, Xi Yang. You are back?”
Xi Yang glanced at him with eyes like frost. “Mm.”
Cheng Xinyu mustered his courage. “Brother Xi, how did the meeting go last night?”
Xi Yang sat at his desk, waiting for his computer to start. After a silence, he said, “Bad.”
Through the silence, Shu Xing watched Xi Yang’s screen. He saw Xi Yang open the game and check their relationship status. Seeing it had not been dissolved, Xi Yang seemed to let out a small sigh of relief.
He Wennan whispered, “Brother Xi, did the partner not look the way you expected?” Xi Yang replied deeply, “I do not know.” “What do you mean, I do not know?” “I do not know means I do not know. Literally.” Xi Yang’s voice was cold.
In reality, Xi Yang was beyond frustrated. He had waited until 2 AM, then went to the apartment he rented for Xing Shu, but no one was there. He had been blocked after that one message. He spent the morning driving to every pet hospital in the city looking for someone named Xing Shu, but found no one. It was as if the person had vanished.
As the afternoon went on, Cheng Xinyu and He Wennan tried to comfort Xi Yang.
“Do you think I am a bad person?” Xi Yang suddenly asked. “No, not at all!” “He said he thinks we are not suitable.”
Shu Xing, feeling awkward, spoke up from his bed. “Is it not obvious? The other person wants to break up.” Xi Yang gritted his teeth and glared at him. “No.” “Why not?” Shu Xing explained. “Being unsuitable is a classic breakup line. Personality, looks, family. It is a standard excuse.”
Xi Yang closed his eyes. “No. He and I, we are not unsuitable.” Shu Xing continued, “How do you know? You have never met him.” Xi Yang frowned. “How do you know we have never met?” Shu Xing nearly slipped up. “I, I can just tell by looking at you.”
Xi Yang remained stubborn. “It is impossible. No matter who he is, what he looks like, or what his personality is, we are suitable.”
Shu Xing was slightly moved, but he teased, “No matter who? What if it turned out to be me? Would that be okay too?”
Xi Yang fell into a brief silence. He gritted his teeth for a long time. The words “that would be okay” struggled to come out. It felt as if saying it would give the person on the bed a victory. Shu Xing shrugged when he did not answer.
By evening, Xi Yang went out to clear his head. Shu Xing, worried he might do something reckless like speeding, followed him out near the curfew time. He walked aimlessly until he found the litter of cats he had met at the start of the semester. He crouched down to watch them play.
“Dammit. Xi Yang, why go speeding when you are in a bad mood? I am so annoyed too, yet I am out here looking for you. I am definitely sick.”
A cat approached, and he patted its head. Suddenly, a car pulled up and stopped behind him. Xi Yang had returned to campus after several laps on the highway. He saw the small, thin figure crouched by the path and recognized him instantly. He flicked his cigarette ash and leaned out the window.
“Hey. It is so late. What are you doing out here?”