“Cheng Shixu, what kind of person are you, really?”
Facing the hot wind, a few drops of sweat slid down Lu Jian’s forehead and onto his eyelashes, making his eyes appear moist and shimmering with a faint, crystalline light. His gaze was earnest, and his expression was solemn.
“Me? I am a man.” Cheng Shixu fell backward, lying on the grass and squinting slightly at the sun, which was now just a sliver on the horizon.
Since Lu Jian was acting like this, he decided to stop pretending. “A lustful man.”
Lu Jian was speechless for a long while, still sitting cross-legged. “So, in your dreams, you are only with me because of my physique?” On the playground ahead, the people playing basketball were gradually leaving in twos and threes, arms slung over each other’s shoulders, seemingly discussing what to eat later.
“Oh, you are quite sharp. But that is not entirely it, either. At first, it was purely because you were handsome and looked incredibly tempting in a suit, but later…”
There is not really such a thing as love at first sight where you cannot live without someone; it is all built through time spent together. During that year Lu Jian spent chasing him, he dropped many hints that they could take the next step, but Lu Jian always misinterpreted them. Otherwise, it would not have taken Lu Jian a whole year to win him over.
If he had known Lu Jian was such a fool back then, he would not have bothered playing hard to get; he could have just gone to a hotel on the very first day they met.
However, if things had developed that way from the start, would he still have treated this relationship so seriously? Perhaps not.
“Seeing me clearly now, realizing I am not the image you had in your dreams, how does it feel?” Lu Jian swallowed hard. “Is it not… not worth it?”
Hearing this, Cheng Shixu frowned, staring blankly at Lu Jian’s profile.
In his past life, Lu Jian was a powerful CEO. His words and actions were always confident, mature, and steady. Words like “not worth it” could absolutely never have come from his mouth. Lu Jian’s net worth was so high; he was worth everything, and he possessed everything.
He had witnessed many times how Lu Jian maneuvered at the negotiating table to secure the greatest benefits.
To put it bluntly, given Lu Jian’s status, he could have anyone he wanted. He had seen the men who threw themselves at him, and even the most common pick-up attempts were usually intimidated into silence by the sheer ferocity in Lu Jian’s eyes.
Among them were plenty of young masters from prestigious families and famous celebrities with outstanding looks and backgrounds.
He blurted out, “How could it not be worth it?”
Lu Jian did not look surprised; instead, he let out a low laugh, the worry between his brows dissipating. “Do not look at me through rose-colored glasses. I am nothing right now. As for the future, I have no idea what I will become.”
Cheng Shixu gazed into his eyes, as if seeing the gentle version of Lu Jian from his past life. The corners of his mouth curled up slightly, but he pulled back when he felt the youth in Lu Jian’s features. He sat up and hooked his arm around Lu Jian’s neck. “What did you ask me just now? Ask it again.”
“I…” People were so close that Lu Jian could hear the sound of his breathing and smell the faint, slightly sweet amber fragrance on Cheng Shixu’s body. He stammered, “I… do not look at me with… with filtered glasses?”
Cheng Shixu shook his head. “No. The sentence before that.”
Lu Jian: “Seeing me clearly now, realizing I am not the image you had in your dreams, how does it feel?”
“I will tell you how it feels.” Cheng Shixu leaned into his ear and whispered, “Knowing now that you are not actually that old-fashioned…” He chuckled, a bit slyly. “I am even more excited.”
“You…” Lu Jian was dumbfounded. What kind of person was this?
Was he being seduced?
He pushed Cheng Shixu away and sprang to his feet. Seeing Cheng Shixu stand up as well, he frowned tightly. “I do not like men, Cheng Shixu. I am indeed grateful to you, so I will do whatever you ask as long as it is not too outrageous, including if you need me to sleep with you.”
Cheng Shixu felt like he had discovered a new world. “Are you overthinking this a bit?”
Lu Jian turned his face away. “Did you not say you were more excited?”
Cheng Shixu rolled his eyes at him and reached out to knock him on the head. “I am excited. Excited that I get to accompany you as you grow up.” He took hold of Lu Jian’s arm, standing slightly on his tiptoes to meet his gaze. “Lu Jian, we can get to know each other all over again.”
“Get to know each other again?” Lu Jian stepped back. “There is no way to get to know each other again.” That necklace had already made it impossible for him to face Cheng Shixu on equal footing. He could not help but wonder: exactly how good was he to Cheng Shixu in those dreams? Good enough that even knowing how pathetic he was now, Cheng Shixu still radiated kindness toward him?
Accompany you as you grow up.
What a blissful phrase.
“You may not be able to get to know me again, but I can get to know you again.” In the blink of an eye, Cheng Shixu thought of many things, including the confusion and bewilderment he had felt these past few days. He did not know whether he truly liked the person Lu Jian was, or just the image Lu Jian had projected; but regardless, those five years were not fake.
Knowing Lu Jian’s true circumstances, the heartache he felt for him was also not fake.
Wanting to accompany Lu Jian as he grew up was an even truer statement.
As for whether he still likes him, he did not know; at the very least, it was not clear right now.
However, he was still very willing to get to know Lu Jian all over again, regardless of his status.
Returning to the dormitory, Cheng Shixu greeted Ning Shen and immediately started working on his test papers. He had fallen too far behind. Professor Zhao had told him that he had forgotten many simple points of knowledge, while conversely, he was able to do the difficult problems very well. He needed to make up for lost ground in his basics.
Isn’t that obvious? In his past life, his grades were excellent, so there was no need to study the basic problems. He had studied those difficult problems over and over again, so many times he could not count, so he naturally remembered them much more clearly.
He could always solve the two bonus problems at the end of the math section, but he would rack his brain for ages over the simple multiple-choice questions at the beginning. The end result was always: “I do not know, just pick C.”
Buzz, buzz, buzz~
The phone on the table vibrated. Cheng Shixu glanced at it; it was a text message from He Yu, asking if he wanted to return to No. 1 High School after the mock exams ended, saying his classmates there missed him very much.
He glanced at Ning Shen, who was still burying his head in his work behind him, turned off the vibration, and took a moment to reply. He wanted to stay with Lu Jian. Being here was like changing to a new environment; the classmates were all friendly. Although he also missed his classmates and desk-mate at No. 1 High School, his mother was right; moving back and forth like this was not the answer.
Even if he were reborn, he would not be able to keep up with the pace at No. 1 High School for a while. It was better to stay at Experimental High School; there were several professors here helping him tutor, so he did not have to fear bad grades.
[He Yu: Are you really doing this just because you fell in love?]
Not exactly. He did like Lu Jian very much, but if he asked himself honestly, he did not actually have the same profound feelings for the rebellious, young Lu Jian as he did for the man from his past life.
When he had first been reborn, his mind was not very clear. It was not until he discovered that everything about Lu Jian was a lie that he finally calmed down and thought about many things, including the things the young Lu Jian had said.
Who he liked now was still the CEO Lu from his past life.
What he felt for the young Lu Jian could only be described as loving the house and its crow.
[He Yu: ? Where did you go? Did that little rich girl hook you so much you forgot who you are?]
Cheng Shixu laughed out loud at the text. He had not told He Yu that the person he liked was a man, or that the person who lied to him about being a wealthy heir was also a man. He Yu had always assumed he liked girls.
After thinking it over, he decided to tell He Yu the truth, including the dream that predicted the future.
[He Yu: Oh, so you are gay? Tsk, and a dream-man at that? The handsome CEO in your dream is actually a penniless, yellow-haired brat in reality? And you want to accompany him as he grows up?]
Seeing that He Yu was not the least bit surprised, not even bothering to call and just sending a text, Cheng Shixu remembered how, in his past life, when he told He Yu he was dating Lu Jian, He Yu’s reaction had been much more shocked than this.
It was not that he was surprised he liked men; it was the shock that he was seeing Lu Jian.
They were both CEOs; although their businesses were different, they interacted from time to time. He Yu’s impression of Lu Jian had always been “cold” and “difficult to talk to.” To suddenly find out that Lu Jian was dating his childhood friend, would he not be shocked?
He Yu’s reaction back then had been pretty funny, too. He kept confirming with him that it was the Lu Jian from Shijian Company, not a Lu Jian from some nightclub, which successfully earned him three eye-rolls and a swift chug of two bottles of whiskey from Cheng Shixu.
Perhaps that was why He Yu had also been so resentful about Lu Jian not taking him to see his family; he was terrified that Lu Jian was just playing with him. As He Yu had said to Lu Jian back then: “I do not care about the business, but if you toy with my brother, I will ruin you even if I have to stake my entire company on it.”
It was strange, come to think of it. He Yu and Lu Jian had interacted so many times in his past life, yet he never knew Lu Jian was an orphan. Did the CEO circle not talk about gossip?
Or did Lu Jian plant some fake news to confuse He Yu?
Otherwise, knowing He Yu’s personality, if he had known Lu Jian was an orphan, he definitely would have told him, and he definitely would not have kept harping on about Lu Jian not taking him to meet his family.
[He Yu: Do not blame your buddy for being harsh, but we are both men. Have you not heard the saying: Never accompany a man while he grows up? Be careful not to throw your life into it and get nothing in return. Feelings in this day and age are too fleeting.]
Cheng Shixu knew that, of course. But the young Lu Jian was not just anyone; he was the Lu Jian he had spent five years with in his past life. Even though much of the information had been fake, a person’s character could not be faked.
If nothing else, Lu Jian was very serious about his feelings. He was not stupid; could he not feel whether or not he was loved? It was evident in every facet of their life.
In this world, everything can be faked, except for love. If he had been deceived by fake love, it could only mean his self-delusion skills were too strong.
He had never been one to worry about gains and losses. When Lu Jian went on business trips, or returned calls and texts a bit late, he never thought too much about it. Although that had a little to do with his naturally laid-back personality, the sense of security Lu Jian gave him was too complete.
So complete that he, in turn, felt that Lu Jian lacked a sense of security.
Lu Jian had built a small piece of software on his phone; as long as he clicked it, he could track Lu Jian’s real-time location. He could even use that software to apply for a voice chat or video call at any time, but Lu Jian’s phone could not track his location.
No matter what he was doing for the day, Lu Jian would always tell him in advance. If he had not woken up yet, there would be a note on the refrigerator explaining where he had gone, how long he would be, accompanied by exhortations to add clothes, eat meals, and be safe when going out.
That was the thing Lu Jian said to him the most: “Stay safe on the road.”
Thinking of this, Cheng Shixu’s nose stung again. He had died near Lu Jian’s company; he should have listened to Lu Jian, waited properly for his driver to pick him up, or just gone home. Then, he could be rubbing his tears onto Lu Jian’s chest muscles right now, instead of having to suffer through the bitterness of his senior year of high school all over again.
He sniffled, looked at the problems circled in red ink on his exam paper, and felt that his life was truly wretched.