And End…
14: Vacation Start!
And End…
(Author: The Deserted Island Exam Arc…
Personally, it’s one of my favorite storylines, but neither Arisu-chan nor Tachibana-senpai can make an appearance…
What a disaster!
This story’s charm is down by 90%!) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– A tropical sea, a clear blue sky stretching endlessly without a single cloud, and crystal-clear air.
Pushing through the blue ocean, the luxury cruise ship offered a refreshing breeze so exhilarating it made the midsummer heat feel like nothing at all.
Waiting for us first-years, having safely navigated the first semester to reach summer break, was a luxury cruise trip.
With an extraordinary arrangement where travel expenses and all meals throughout the journey were completely free, students across every class were getting hyped up whether they liked it or not…
“Ah~ so boring…
I wish this would end already…” On the ship’s deck, I was slouching by myself, phone in hand, utterly drained of motivation.
It was no use; I just couldn’t keep my morale up.
Zero grit.
It might sound absurd so early into the trip, but I already wanted to go home.
“Whoa, tone down the low energy, Honjo…
I get that you’re lonely without the Princess around, but it’s a long-awaited vacation, so why not enjoy it a bit more?” Hashimoto offered some encouraging words with a loose, floating grin, but coming from a guy following Arisu purely out of self-interest, it didn’t hit home for me at all.
Besides, how can this guy stay so carefree when he knows the inner details of this trip?
“I mean, it’s two weeks!
Two whole weeks!
No matter how you look at it, that’s way too long…
Ah, damn it.
If slacking off was an option, I would’ve slacked off too.” “Hey, it’s not like Sakayanagi is just slacking off, alright?” Because of her congenital heart disease, the school deemed it far too dangerous for Arisu to spend two weeks in an environment lacking sufficient medical facilities, so she was exempted from this trip.
I knew it in advance, but…
facing the reality of it is really tough.
I’m lonely.
“Ah~ ah, boring, boring, dull, dull, dull, dull, dull…” “Don’t go rolling around on the floor like a throwing-a-fit toddler when you’re a high schooler…
You look extremely stupid right now.” “Who’re you calling stupid?!
Whoever says ‘stupid’ gets beheaded and impaled on a stake, you know~!” “Isn’t that penalty way too extreme?!” I’ve found plenty of interesting people since coming to this school, and if I looked for fun things to do, I’d probably find them.
But without Arisu here, the math ends up in the negative no matter what.
To use an analogy, it’s like a bowl of ramen where the noodles and toppings are top-tier, but there’s no broth…
That’s not even ramen anymore.
“If I remember correctly, skipping out isn’t permitted unless you have a truly valid reason.
…As I thought, is it because there’s a special exam?” “Could be~” According to the information Arisu bought, this event is actually this school year’s first special exam (and a double feature at that) disguised as a vacation.
If the students currently in full-blown vacation mode found out, it would probably come as quite a shock.
Not everyone can stay as carefree as Hashimoto, after all.
“That special exam itself is depressing too.
Man, there’s nothing more dull than a battle you’re scheduled to lose…” Arisu plans to have Katsuragi take charge of this exam—which she can’t participate in—and crush the Katsuragi Faction by letting him fail miserably.
…Which naturally means I have to just half-ass my way through this test.
Asking me to bring out any enthusiasm under these conditions is just unreasonable.
“You say ‘scheduled to lose,’ Honjo, but while Katsuragi might fall short of the Princess, he’s still a capable guy.
Class A leads in overall capability too, so under normal circumstances, he won’t lose easily, right?
This is where our Sakayanagi Faction needs to make a move—” “I’m not doing a thing.
Leaving Bankai-chan and Horirin aside, Katsuragi won’t be able to beat Ryunkel anyway.” A few people in the Sakayanagi Faction, including Hashimoto, probably received prior (abstract, since she couldn’t share exam details) instructions from Arisu, but she didn’t give me any orders.
Which means Katsuragi’s defeat is guaranteed even without me intervening every step of the way.
“Also, Hashimoto, here’s a word of advice…
This exam without Arisu’s participation is a great chance to score some favors with Ryunkel, you know?” “…What are you talking about?
Don’t frame it like I’m a traitor, it hurts my feelings.” “Ah, it’s fine, it’s fine, no need to play innocent.
It’s not like I’m trying to call you out; feel free to move however you like.
…Arisu probably knows and is just leaving it alone anyway.” Leaving behind Hashimoto, whose smile now carried a faint edge of caution, I stood up from my spot.
Wrapping up the chess game I was playing with Arisu via phone—where I had resigned after starting as Black, as usual—I got to my feet.
No point in complaining forever; might as well go check out the view for a change of pace.
Switching gears is crucial in life.
『Attention to all students.
If you have time, please gather on the deck.
We will soon be approaching an island.
You will be able to enjoy a very meaningful view for a short while.』 Right on cue, an announcement came over the speakers.
The strangely worded phrasing as usual probably hid a hint for the exam, but since I wasn’t participating in earnest, ignoring it was fine.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Oh, a sudden opportunity to witness something amusing.
Getting heated on the deck despite it being a prime vacation spot were a bunch of hot-headed guys: Sudo-kun, Cozy, Kushida-chan, and two other Class D members…
plus Totsuka.
Judging by Cozy losing his posture slightly and Kushida-chan supporting him, it seemed Totsuka, arriving late, had forcibly shoved aside Cozy, who had been enjoying the view from a prime spot.
What is that idiot doing?
“You guys should understand how this school works by now.
In this merit-based school, you Class D trash don’t have human rights.
Defective goods should act like defective goods; we’re Class A—Gheff?!” “”!”?” Since he was spouting cringey nonsense and making a fool of himself, I hooked a wire around Totsuka’s leg and tripped him hard.
What on earth was Katsuragi thinking, making a guy like this a faction lieutenant?
“My, my, sorry about that, Cozy.
Making you uncomfortable with our deadweight-kun here, right in the middle of vacation.” “No, I don’t really mind, but…” “O-Oh, Honjo, was it?
What’s this ‘deadweight-kun’ thing?
Tell me more.” With Totsuka groaning in agony while clutching his face after taking a hard hit to the deck, Sudo-kun asked me while desperately holding back his laughter.
It would be rude not to answer a direct request, wouldn’t it?
“This guy is Yahiko Totsuka.
Lowest score in his class for the midterms, lower-middle tier overall for the finals, plus a total wimp when it comes to athletic ability…
A disgrace to Class A in both name and reality, yep.” “Bwahaha!
What’s up with that?!
How could a guy like that look down on us?!” Sudo-kun and two male students whose names I didn’t know doubled over in laughter, clutching their stomachs.
Having a guy who was just looking down on them get exposed like that must be immensely satisfying.
And as for Totsuka, who had just been made a laughingstock by the very people he looked down on, his face turned bright red as he snapped at me.
When Tachibana-senpai does it, it’s cute, but when this guy does it, it’s just annoying.
“Honjo, you bastard, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” “Hmm~?
This school is a meritocracy, right?
Do you, the weakest in Class A, have the right to voice an opinion against me, the strongest?
Hey, hey, do you, do you~?” “Guh, you…!” “Look, an unrefined person bringing trouble to a nice trip should hurry up and disappear.
Or…
do you want to get launched again?” The moment I aimed my palm at him with a smile, Totsuka’s anger vanished entirely.
With a terrified expression, he scrambled to his feet and scurried off the deck.
Dear me, looks like that incident became quite a trauma for him.
Poor guy.
While entertaining such irresponsible thoughts, Kushida-chan trotted over with a bright smile.
…This girl probably dislikes me, so why does she interact with me so amicably?
A girl’s heart really is a mystery.
“Um, thank you, Honjo-kun.
…Totsuka-kun looked terrified; did something happen between you two?” “Ah, a while ago he was persistently picking fights with me and being annoying, so I gave him a quick, easy-to-understand lesson on our difference in strength…
and that happened.” “I-I see…
But you shouldn’t do violent things, okay?” “I’d like to avoid that kind of thing as much as possible too.
Kiriha-kun is gentle, after all—like a water buffalo.” “I don’t think water buffalos have a particularly ‘gentle’ image?!” While we were chatting casually like that, the Class D male student who had been laughing earlier walked over with a serious, tense look on his face.
“Hey, Kushida-chan.
Do you have a second…?” “Ike-kun?
What is it?” Catching his motive instantly from the hostility-filled glare directed at Ike-kun, I quietly pulled back from the two and joined Sudo-kun and the others, who were watching with bated breath.
Ah, youth.
“Well, you see…
it’s like, we’ve known each other for about four months now, right?
It feels kinda formal, so I was thinking maybe it’s time we called each other by our first names.” Hearing that, we almost stumbled over.
It wasn’t a confession?!
How misleading!
“…I-Is it no good?
Calling you…
Kikyo-chan?” “Of course it’s okay!
Then I’ll call you Kanji-kun too, okay?” “WOOOOOOOO!
KIKYO-CHAAAN!” Kanji Ike-kun threw his hands wide and let out a roar of the soul toward the heavens.
…If his energy is at this level just from getting permission to use her first name, wouldn’t he literally die if she accepted a confession?
“First names, huh…
Alright, I’m gonna call her by her first name during this summer break too!
Suzune, Suzune…” “Eh, what?
Sudo-kun, you like Horirin?” “HORIRIN?!” At my casual murmur, Sudo-kun’s eyes went wide.
He grabbed both of my shoulders and leaned in close with a terrifyingly intense look on his face.
Man, you’re way too close and suffocating.
“Hey, Honjo…
What the hell is ‘Horirin’ supposed to mean?!” “Horikita Suzune, hence Horirin.
Cute, right?” “Sure, it’s cute, but that’s not the point!
Why are you, a guy from another class, close enough to give Horikita a nickname?!
I can’t even call her by her first name yet!” “I just make it a rule to use nicknames for people I somewhat like; it’s not like we’ve gotten close or anything.
If anything, she holds a one-sided hostility toward me.
I’m in Class A, after all.” From the perspective of Horirin, who seems seriously focused on reaching Class A, I must be an eyesore.
Though Bankai-chan interacts with me normally and amicably.
“…So there really is nothing between you and Horikita?” “As of now, nothing.
And there won’t be in the future either.” “…Fine then.” Though he didn’t seem entirely convinced, Sudo-kun released me and for some reason turned to Cozy instead.
“Hey, Ayanokoji…
Let me practice calling her Suzune on you for a bit.” “What do you mean, ‘practice’…” With Cozy wearing an extremely reluctant expression, Sudo-kun approached him with dead seriousness.
…Yeah, from an outsider’s perspective, it looks pretty gross.
“Hey, Horikita, got a second?” “I am not Horikita.” “You idiot!
It’s not like I wanna do this either, but practice is necessary, right?!” “Want me to help you practice?
Someone closer to Horirin’s vibe would make it easier, right?” Feeling a bit sorry for Cozy, I threw him a lifeline.
Being the kind person I am, I just can’t leave someone hanging.
“Ah?
What do you mean ‘closer’?” “Hold on a second.
…Ah~ ah, cough, ah~ ah~ ah~, cough, wheeze…” Leaving Sudo-kun and the others looking dubious, I warmed up my vocal cords with a few coughs, and then…
“What is it, Sudo-kun?
I’m not free either, so please keep it brief.” “WOAH?!
H-Horikita!
That’s Horikita’s voice!” “What do you think?
This is one of Kiriha Honjo 637’s special skills: vocal mimicry.” “That’s an oddly specific number…
But, that’s impressive.
It’s not just the voice—even that unlikable, thorny vibe is spot on.” It’s fine to be impressed, Cozy, but isn’t that phrasing a bit harsh?
Horirin would cry if she heard that, you know?
“A-Alright, I’m super nervous, but here goes…
Hey, Horikita, I’d like to start calling you by your first name soon.
Is that okay?” “Huh?
Are you joking?
I refuse.” “Gah?!” First, a body blow of words to start things off.
“You seem to be under the delusion that we’ve become close…
but between recent events and everything else, I only recall you causing me trouble.
How you had the nerve to make such an audacious proposal is beyond me.” “Guborah?!” Following up with a Dempsey roll of words.
“To put it bluntly, I am not nice enough to waste time catering to incompetent people.” “….” And finishing it off with an upper cut of words.
Sudo-kun collapsed on the spot like he had burned out into white ash.
I deactivated my vocal mimicry and gave Cozy a smug thumbs-up.
“…How was that?
Perfect, right?” “Yeah, perfect.
That was completely Horikita.
…Though it was a bit too perfect, to the point where Sudo ended up looking like a tattered rag.” “KE-KENNNNNNN?!” “Get up!
Stand up, Jo—I mean, KEEEEEEN!” Ike-kun, who had returned at some point, rushed over to Sudo-kun alongside another male student.
Man, you guys match the energy really well.
…Whoops, hearing the surroundings suddenly get noisy, I checked to see what was happening—looks like our destination island…
the site of the special exam, had come into view.
I stepped away from Cozy and the others to go check out this so-called meaningful view.
The ship completely bypassed the dock where we’d presumably land and circled the island at an impressive speed.
…They clearly have zero intention of letting us sightsee, huh.
『We will now be landing on the deserted island.
In 30 minutes, all students are requested to change into tracksuits, carefully double-check their assigned bags and belongings, and gather on the deck with their mobile phones.
Please leave all other personal belongings in your rooms…』 Judging from the announcement, we’ll be landing soon.
But tracksuits…
tracksuits, huh.
Even though I made all sorts of modifications to the inner lining of my uniform for magic tricks, I can’t conceal a thing in a tracksuit.
…Well, we can’t bring personal belongings anyway, so it comes out to the same thing.
30 minutes after changing into tracksuits, we submitted our phones to our homeroom teachers on the deck and underwent a thorough baggage inspection before stepping onto the island.
Once roll call for all students was completed, Mashima-sensei took the stage and mercilessly announced the end of our vacation.
“We will now commence this school year’s first special exam.” Without Arisu here, my motivation is down by way more than half, but feel free to dance like a fool to your heart’s content, Katsuragi-kun.
…Hmm?
Wait a second?
An exam here?
In this wilderness surrounded by dense trees?
…Oh man, my motivation just shot through the roof.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Author’s Note: While it’s been hinted at here and there before, Kiriha-kun loves plants, so he somehow managed to recover from his Arisu-chan deficiency syndrome.