And yes, I already smelled the ceiling... that faintly polished mahogany and the ridiculous, overpriced floral air fresheners Vahard Academy insisted on putting in every elite student dorm. It felt rude to get rid of it now.
I sat up, rubbed the sleep from my face, and reached for my phone on the desk.
6:00 PM.
Good. Nice. This is actually good. I’m early again.
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, stood up, and let out a long, jaw-cracking yawn.
Stretching my arms, I glanced up at the top bunk.
Luna Ebonveil was sprawled out like a corpse that had given up on life. Her brown hair was a tangled disaster, she was snoring softly, and her arms and legs were wrapped tightly around a massive, 5 feet long, 14 inch wide stuffed hotdog pillow.
ಠ_ಠ
Look at her, I thought, staring straight at the sight.
Wait... isn’t she the Daughter of a top-tier noble house... One of the highest-ranked duelists in this year. And here she is, drooling on a giant plush sausage.
I leaned closer, hovered my hand over her face, and bluntly poked her right on the nose.
She winced, her entire body trembling for a split second, before she let out a soft grumble, buried her face deeper into the hotdog, and went right back to snoring.
I let out a heavy sigh and scoffed. "Useless."
Leaving the bedroom, I stepped into the spacious living quarters of our shared dorm.
The place was ridiculous— hardwood floors, mana-heated ambient lamps, and a kitchen equipped with high-grade elemental cooking hearths.
I walked over to the counter, pulled out a skillet, and decided to whip up something edible.
I hauled out a slab of Komodo Fire-Tail meat, yes— a mid-tier monster ingredient known for its insanely spicy, rich fat —along with a handful of high-density magical vegetables I’d snagged from the refrigerator.
Most students used magic to tenderize monster meat.
Well for me? I didn’t have mana until about 3 days ago, so I just used my raw talent, sharp knives, and precise heat control.
Within fifteen minutes, the kitchen.. or living room, whatever... anyways it smelled like a five-star luxury restaurant.
I plated two portions—one for me, and one left under a heat-preservation barrier so Luna wouldn’t starve when her brain finally decided to boot up.
***
Stepping back into the living room, I threw myself onto the massive leather couch and pulled up my phone to doom-scroll through the academy’s local forums. Half the posts were about the disaster in the duel in our class yesterday. Great. Just great.
Closing the app, I leaned my head back.
"Status."
A sleek, black glass interface with faint pink glowing borders snapped open directly in front of me.
「Status」
[REX KNOX — Short Ver.]
Class: Undefined
Rank: A (Academy)
Condition: Stable
Mana: 23 (illegally acquired)
Physical Attributes
STR / AGI / END: 23
Overall: slightly above average for a human
Traits
— Charming
— Unlucky
— Highly Aware of Surroundings
Talents
『Master Cook』 — tap for details
『Anger Issues』 — ⚠ side effects possible
Passive Effects
『Accidental Rizz — Rank ?』
『+3% Agility — Common』
I stared at the numbers for a second longer than necessary.
Huh. I actually got stronger.
I let out a rare, genuine smirk. "Nice."
***
After taking a quick shower to wash off the smell of burnt. I stepped back into the bedroom, drying my hair with a towel.
Luna was still up there. Still snoring.
"If we’re late for morning assembly because of her, Professor Myra is going to be mad," I grumbled.
I tossed my towel onto the chair, walked over to the bunk bed, and began buttoning up my shirt as I climbed the small ladder.
"Hey. Wake up. The food’s getting cold, princess?"
I reached my hand out to shake her shoulder.
Big mistake.
Before my brain could register the movement, Luna’s hand shot out like a python.
She grabbed my wrist, yanked with absurd, mana-boosted physical strength, and pulled me straight onto the bed.
"What?!"
Before I could hit the mattress properly, her legs wrapped tightly around my waist, her arms locked around my neck, and she pulled me down flat against her chest.
My face was buried directly into her collarbone, the smell of vanilla and sleep washing over me.
"Hey! Let go!" I muttered, my voice muffled against her shirt.
I planted my hands on the bed and tried to push myself back, but her grip only tightened.
She let out a sleepy, contented sigh, her legs clamping around my thighs like a pair of steel handcuffs.
"Mm... soft pillow..." she mumbled in her sleep, burying her nose into my hair.
"I am not a pillow, you FUCKER!"
I wrestled against her, twisting my torso to break her leverage, but all it did was make her shift around.
"You’re harassing me dude." I said, pulling myself out.
"Shut up, HATDOG. ( ꈍᴗꈍ)"
In her half-asleep, groggy state, she groaned, complaining about the heat, and blindly reached down.
With one fluid, sleep-deprived motion, she yanked the hem of her shirt upward, casually stripping it over her head and tossing it somewhere off the bed— leaving her in nothing but her bare breast, waist and belly completely exposed against the sheets.
I gritted my teeth.
Fuck, what is this cliches ass event happening...
"That’s it. I’m done playing nice," I muttered under my breath.
I stopped trying to pull away.
Instead, I used my newly boosted 23 Agility and Strength, twisted my body violently inside her grip, and flipped our positions in one explosive motion.
I mounted her waist, sat down firmly to pin her lower body, grabbed both of her wrists in a single palm, and slammed them down flat against the mattress above her head.
She squirmed beneath me, her breast swaying, for a second I could notice that her nipple was swallowed by her breast.
Inverted nipple... is what they call this.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and gritted my teeth.
"WAKE UP, YOU BITCH!" I shouted.
Luna’s eyes snapped open.
The groggy haze in her purple eyes vanished instantly, replaced by sheer, unadulterated shock as her brain registered her surroundings.
She was lying flat on her back. Her shirt was thrown on the floor.
Her exposed waist was pressed against me. Her breast out.
And sitting directly on top of her was me— unbuttoned shirt hanging open, chest and abs fully visible, breathing heavily, holding both of her hands pinned securely above her head in a dominant, completely unhinged posture.
Silence descended on the room.
One second.
Two seconds.
Luna’s face instantly flushed from pale white to a violent, boiling shade of crimson.
Her eyes darted from my exposed chest, up to my irritated face, down to our joined hands, and finally to my legs locked over her hips.
"R-R-R..." her voice cracked, vibrating with pure panic. "REX?!"
"Do not ’Rex’ me!" I snapped, my deadpan face returning even as my heart was hammering against my ribs. "You pulled me onto the bed! You stripped your shirt off! I am holding you down so you don’t commit any more domestic crimes before breakfast! There, I explained it."
"GET OFF ME YOU PERVERT!" she shrieked, her mana flaring up so hard the bedroom windows started to rattle.
"Ah," I thought, staring down at her glowing eyes. "Right. I’m about to get launched through the wall."q