Yan Wei felt awkward from the tips of her hair down to her little toes, as if her entire body was about to explode.
She averted her eyes, not daring to meet Jiang Youyi’s gaze, and forced herself to make small talk with the person at the door: “I’m done washing up. Did you take the hairdryer back?”
Jiang Youyi noticed Yan Wei had changed clothes, her fair neck and collarbones immediately catching her eye. She didn’t dare look too closely and quickly lowered her head, her fingers gripping the doorknob nervously, tightening and loosening. “Not yet, it’s still on the nightstand. Come in, I’ll go get a glass of water.”
She stepped aside to let Yan Wei in, then fled as if escaping.
Yan Wei walked into the bedroom, her mind in a daze, and collapsed onto the bed without a care for her appearance.
A few seconds later, she tugged off her towel in frustration, frantically ruffling her hair until it was a tangled mess.
Why was she so nervous? She hadn’t even been this nervous during her university graduation thesis defense. Does love make people lose their minds? But she hadn’t even found love yet.
Thinking about how rare it was to share a room with Jiang Youyi tonight, yet she had acted like she’d lost her mind, Yan Wei felt utterly dejected.
Jiang Youyi took a while to fetch the water. By the time she returned, Yan Wei had already dried the roots of her hair and was combing through her shoulder-length locks. The ends were still slightly damp, casually draped over her shoulders, partially covering her soft, fair skin.
“Do you want some water?” Jiang Youyi handed over a glass, her eyes darting around—left, right, up, down—anywhere but at Yan Wei.
Before the unspoken feelings were acknowledged, they had gotten along quite naturally. But ever since Jiang Youyi’s birthday, whenever they were alone together, both were preoccupied with their own thoughts, afraid that silence would only amplify the awkward tension.
Yan Wei took the glass and took a small sip to moisten her throat, then asked, “What time do you usually go to bed?”
Jiang Youyi walked to the other side of the bed, picked up her phone from the nightstand, and checked the time. It wasn’t even nine yet—too early to sleep, but there didn’t seem to be anything else to do.
“Around eleven,” Jiang Youyi replied, the last word carrying a hint of playfulness.
Yan Wei laughed, her earlier restraint completely gone. “The school lights go out at 10:50, so I’ll reluctantly believe you when you say you sleep at eleven. What about weekends? Do you sleep that early too? No phone scrolling? No reading comics? Then why do you always doze off during morning self-study?”
“Occasionally, I stay up a little later,” Jiang Youyi admitted, her face flushing.
Yan Wei pressed further, “How late? Do you often pull all-nighters?”
“Not often, maybe once or twice a month,” Jiang Youyi replied, fiddling with her phone case, popping it open and snapping it shut. She tossed the question back: “What about you? Do you still stay up studying until midnight like you did last semester?”
“Huh? Was I that diligent?” Yan Wei asked in surprise.
Thinking back carefully, when she first chose her major, she had been worried about keeping up with math and science, so she often studied late into the night.
After graduating from high school, she rarely pushed herself that hard anymore and had almost forgotten the grueling days of staying up late to prepare for the college entrance exams.
Jiang Youyi felt a twinge of envy at Yan Wei’s casual tone and teased her, “You’re not diligent? If you’re not diligent, then hardly anyone in our class is. Hey, do all top students feel like they’re not trying hard enough?”
“Well, I guess I did put in the effort,” Yan Wei said with a smile. “I was just afraid of not doing well on the college entrance exams. ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.’ Studying hard now means achieving financial independence later!”
Unfortunately, she still ended up failing the exam in the end, and it had nothing to do with how hard she tried. Back then, she couldn’t even figure out the meaning of persevering.
Jiang Youyi only half-understood what Yan Wei was saying—or perhaps she simply didn’t have such long-term plans. She lived day by day, just getting through each one, with no clear measure in her heart of what it truly meant to live well.
Maybe she once had dreams of her own, but they proved fragile in the face of reality.
“Is going to college really the only way forward?” Jiang Youyi sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at her toes.
“Of course not,” Yan Wei replied firmly. “A lot of people think that your college entrance exam results determine your whole life—that doing well means a superior future, and doing poorly means your life is ruined.”
“But how many students take the exam every year? And how many actually get into top-tier universities? Are students who don’t do well on the exam really left with no choice but to retake it?”
The topic stirred up memories for Yan Wei, and she found herself reflecting deeply. “I don’t think that’s true,” she said, speaking from the heart. Even though she herself had chosen to retake the exam after failing, it was only because she wanted to pursue a career in law and needed the relevant qualifications.
At some point, Jiang Youyi had lifted her head and was now looking directly at Yan Wei, her expression focused.
Yan Wei didn’t avoid her gaze. “Even if a person only lives an average of seventy years, taking the college entrance exam at eighteen means life has just begun. Isn’t it ridiculous to think that the remaining fifty-plus years are defined by a single exam?”
“Maybe the college entrance exam can be seen as a shortcut to the future—a narrow bridge everyone tries to cross. But living isn’t just about surviving. Understanding yourself, constantly learning and thinking, drawing strength from those you trust, using your strengths to overcome difficulties, growing through life’s experiences, and finding moments of genuine emotion—that’s what life is truly about.”
These words came from Yan Wei’s heart, though they were also tinged with a bit of selfishness. She desperately hoped Jiang Youyi would understand—that she would stop forcing herself to endure hardship and hiding her sadness in dark corners.
In her past life, it was only after Jiang Youyi died that Yan Wei truly understood herself and realized what she truly wanted. But by then, it was far too late.
Life holds countless possibilities, and no one should be confined to a cage. Since fate had given her another chance to choose, even if it all turned out to be just a dream, she wanted to give it her all and sincerely convey her thoughts.
Jiang Youyi fell silent for a long time—so long that Yan Wei began to feel uneasy, wondering if her words had come across as presumptuous.
The atmosphere grew awkward, and Yan Wei was about to say something to break the silence when Jiang Youyi suddenly smiled at her. “You sounded just like Teacher Xu just now—every sentence a bowl of chicken soup. You totally stunned me. It’s terrifying—I really had no idea how powerful top students could be.”
Yan Wei wasn’t sure if Jiang Youyi had truly taken her words to heart, but she couldn’t help laughing at the remark. “I just shared my thoughts on the topic—they might not be right, so take them with a grain of salt. Everyone has their own way of living, but no matter what, happiness is what matters most.”
That was her greatest wish.
She wanted Jiang Youyi to live happily and healthily.
“But happiness isn’t easy either,” Jiang Youyi sighed with a hint of melancholy. Then, as if catching herself, she leaned back against the headboard, propped a pillow behind her, and picked up her phone. “Might as well seize the moment and play a few more rounds of games.”
Yan Wei neither agreed nor disagreed. She stood up with a towel and a hairdryer in hand. “I’m going to borrow a book from my sister.”
Jiang Youyi’s game had already started. Hearing this, she replied with an “Okay.”
Su Ci returned home around ten o’clock, bringing some late-night snacks. The group gathered in the living room to watch TV for a while before heading back to their respective rooms.
Jiang Youyi finished a game with a resounding victory, put down her phone, placed it on the bedside table to charge, and curled up under the blanket to lie down.
Yan Wei turned a page of the book in her hands and glanced back at the sound. “What time is it?”
Jiang Youyi stretched an arm out from under the covers, showing Yan Wei her watch.
Eleven o’clock? So soon?
Yan Wei was a bit surprised, then realized belatedly.
Wait, does Jiang Youyi really go to bed at eleven o’clock?
Little Jiang had already closed her eyes and adjusted her pillow, looking as if she was genuinely about to sleep.
Yan Wei closed her book, turned off the bedside lamp, and lay down as well.
She was a bit particular about beds and felt quite unused to this one. Besides, Jiang Youyi was lying right beside her now.
The darkness concealed unspeakable emotions while also amplifying the ambiguous atmosphere, magnifying the sound of her heartbeat until she worried the other might hear it.
“Yan Wei.” Jiang Youyi’s voice was very soft, as if testing whether Yan Wei was asleep or not.
Yan Wei opened her eyes and turned her head. “Hmm?”
Jiang Youyi: “I want to ask you a question.”
“Go ahead.”
“Your sister and…”
“They’re a couple.” Yan Wei gave her a definitive answer.