Gods and Men 22: Chapter 22: Still Plants vs.
Gods and Men “Why are you in such a hurry?” Ash pressed her shoulder, pushing her back into the chair.
“The cabbages haven’t arrived yet.
The guild broadcast will notify us.” “Then when will they arrive?” “Soon.
According to previous years’ custom, it should be these few days.” Aqua couldn’t sit still, her legs constantly shaking under the table, her whole body like an excited dog chewing.
Megumin put down her fork, a flicker of battle intent in her red eyes.
“Cabbages…
My Explosion Magic finally has a use!” “Your Explosion Magic is for blowing up cabbages?” Ash looked at her.
“Otherwise?
To blow up the Demon King?
The Demon King won’t deliver himself to our doorstep.” Megumin said righteously.
“Besides, cabbages move in groups, and one Explosion Magic can blow away a large area!
Even if it doesn’t kill them, it can drive them together, making them easier to catch!” “When did you become so strategic?” “I have always been the Crimson Demon Clan’s number one genius!” “Genius usually doesn’t mean not even learning basic magic.” “That is my choice!” Darkness also spoke.
“Megumin and I already made a plan yesterday.” “Oh?” Ash raised an eyebrow.
“Tell me about it.” Darkness cleared her throat, straightened her back, and said earnestly.
“Step one: Megumin uses Explosion Magic to create an explosion at the rear of the cabbage swarm, using the blast to drive them forward.” “Step two: I spread my arms in front, acting as bait to attract the cabbages’ attention.
They will crash into me, and I will use my body to block their impact and stop them.” “Step three: Aqua and Ash are responsible for catching the stopped cabbages.
With nets, with hands, with Enkidu, any method will do, as long as you catch them.” After Darkness finished speaking, she crossed her arms, her face full of a “please praise me” expression.
Ash was silent for three seconds.
“Good plan.” “Right!” “But are you sure you’re ‘bait’ and not a ‘target’?” “Bait and target are essentially the same.” Darkness said seriously.
“Both are roles that attract firepower.
And I, as a Crusader, am most suited for this position.” “You just like getting hit, don’t you?” “No…
I am merely fulfilling my duty as a knight.” Darkness’s face flushed slightly, but her tone remained serious.
“Being hit is part of the duty, not the goal.
Being continuously rammed by a swarm of cabbages…
that feeling…” “Shut up.” “Yes!” Then, Ash turned to Megumin.
“You were normal for once today, which is rare.” “What do you mean, ‘rarely normal’!” Megumin slapped the table in dissatisfaction.
“I’m always normal!
It’s just that you usually don’t understand my romance!” “However, your Explosion Magic, how many times can you cast it today?” “Still once.” Megumin held up her index finger.
“This is the limit.
I’ll be paralyzed after casting it.” “Then what after you’re paralyzed?” “Paralyzed.” “How can you drive the cabbages while paralyzed?” “I can lie paralyzed on Darkness’s back and direct with my mouth.” “…” Ash took a deep breath.
“After you’re paralyzed, can your mouth still move?” “It can move, yes.
The Crimson Demon Clan’s mouths never get tired.” “Isn’t that a bit…
Anyway, I don’t think that’s something to be proud of.” “Ash, what do you mean?” Listening to Ash’s words, Megumin pouted as she asked him.
“Ahem, nothing!
So, your plan is—Megumin fires a shot to scare the cabbages, Darkness acts as a meat shield to get hit, and Aqua and I pick up the stragglers?” “That’s a very accurate summary!” Megumin gave a thumbs up.
“As expected of the man I fancy!” “You fancy my money, don’t you?” “It’s all the same!” Ash turned his head to look at Aqua.
“What about you?
Can you use a net?” “A net?” Aqua blinked.
“Like the ones for catching butterflies?” “The kind for catching cabbages, with a longer handle and a sturdier net bag.” “Never used one.” “Then learn now.” “How do I learn?” “When the cabbages arrive, you’ll figure it out.” “Isn’t that the same as not teaching me at all!” Just as Aqua was about to continue protesting, the guild’s broadcast suddenly blared.
“Ding ding ding—” A piercing bell echoed throughout the entire building, and all the Adventurers simultaneously looked up.
Luna’s voice came over the broadcast, urgent and excited.
“Emergency announcement!
Emergency announcement!
The Cabbage Army has appeared ten kilometers east of Axel City and is expected to arrive at the city gates in half an hour!
All Adventurers, please gather at the city gate immediately!
Repeat—the Cabbage Army has arrived, please gather at the city gate immediately!” Before her voice faded, the entire guild erupted.
Adventurers sprang from their chairs, grabbed their weapons, and rushed out the door.
Some shouted about getting rich, some shouted about catching fifty cabbages this year, and others shouted that whoever caught them owned them.
Aqua was the first to rush out of the guild hall.
“Cabbages!
This Goddess is here!
Don’t run!” “My Explosion Magic is already thirsting for action!” “Wait!
I haven’t even gotten in the car yet!” Watching the three who had already rushed out, Ash looked at the Enkidu wrapped around him, then stepped towards the door.
Axel City Gate.
The watchtowers on the city walls were already crowded with people.
On the large open space outside the city gate, Adventurers gathered in groups of three to five, holding various catching tools.
Some held giant nets, some held lariats, and some simply came empty-handed, ready to catch them bare-handed.
Ash led the three women to the center of the open space, finding a spot with a clear view.
“Megumin, you stand at the very front.” Ash commanded.
“Once the cabbage swarm enters range, cast your magic.
Don’t aim for the center; aim for the upper-rear position.
The blast will push downwards, driving the cabbages forward.” “Understood!” Megumin, staff on her shoulder, stood at the very front, her red eyes burning with fierce battle spirit.
“Darkness, you stand five meters behind Megumin.
When the cabbages are driven over, spread your arms and block them with your body.
Don’t use your sword to cut them; they won’t be worth anything if they’re dead.” “Understood!” Darkness moved to her designated spot, took a deep breath, and spread her arms like a large bird preparing to embrace the sky.
“Aqua, you stand next to me.” Ash said.
“Once the cabbages are stopped by Darkness, use your net to catch them.
Be careful not to get knocked away while catching.
If you fly off, I might not be able to pull you back in time.” “How could This Goddess possibly be knocked away by cabbages!” Aqua put her hands on her hips, her face full of disdain.
“Those are cabbages!
Vegetables!
Do you understand?
Vegetables!” “Flying vegetables.” “Even if they fly, they’re still vegetables!” “Alright, you’re amazing.” Ash didn’t argue with her further.
He looked up to the east.
On the horizon, a green cloud was rapidly approaching.
Not a cloud.
It was cabbages.
Thousands upon thousands of cabbages.
They clustered together, dense and numerous, obscuring the sky.
The sunlight was blocked by their leaves, casting a large, moving shadow on the ground.
“They’re here, they’re here, they’re here!” “What a huge swarm!” “There are too many this year!”
Maybe it’s not a big deal now… maybe it will be later.
“And If you’re enjoying it, drop a Power Stone for me!”