These past few days, Shen Yue had been working daily in the villa. Although the work was chaotic and troublesome, he did it very seriously. Only recently, for some reason, Xiao Xing had not come to find him. At first, when he didn’t see him, Shen Yue thought he had entered a closed training camp again, but after he returned, he still did not appear in front of him, as if he was avoiding him.
Those few nights, Shen Yue waited in his room, not sleeping. He looked out the window, and just like that, he watched from dark till dawn. That little dinosaur wagging its tail never appeared again.
Shen Yue did not know what had happened; he was very uneasy. He knew he should not crave the closeness of a child, but he could not restrain himself. He wanted to know if he had done something wrong that had made Xiao Xing angry. He would never acknowledge his identity; as long as he could exchange a few words with the child and hug the child like in the previous days, he would be satisfied.
Finally, one day, Ren Junzhu had gone out on business, the butler and servants were not nearby. Shen Yue found an opportunity, hurriedly blocked Ren Suixing who was coming downstairs, and with a shallow smile, softly asked:
“Xiao Xing… have you been very busy these past few days? You haven’t come to my room these nights. Is your schoolwork very heavy?”
The attitude he displayed was extremely docile, and the gentle smile he revealed carried a hint of fawning. But unexpectedly, the little brat who had always been well-behaved and cute in front of him was unusually cold and aloof. His round and bright pupils narrowed slightly, and even the tear stain at the corner of his eye hooked into a sharp arc.
“Why should I come find you?”
Ren Suixing, wearing training clothes, stood on the stairs with one hand in his pocket, sneering coldly: “What face do you have for me to come find you?”
The smile instantly froze on Shen Yue’s face. He was stunned for a moment, then flustered, he said: “Xiao Xing, I… have I done something wrong to make you angry? How about I apologize to you, okay?”
“Ha.” Ren Suixing let out a laugh. “Done something wrong? Have you forgotten why you came to my house in the first place?”
“I…” Shen Yue was left speechless. Before he could speak, Ren Suixing leisurely came down the stairs. He stood in front of Shen Yue, his childish face displaying a coldness and sarcasm Shen Yue had never seen before.
“You caused the deaths of so many officers and comrades, and now you instead ask me what you did wrong? In these seven years, has there ever been a moment when you regretted detonating the bomb, regretted stabbing my father with a knife?”
Shen Yue began to tremble violently, breathing rapidly, even the chain on his wrist making noise, the color in his face instantly draining away.
“But I do regret it…” Ren Suixing looked up and said, “During that time, I pestered you. You enjoyed my kindness towards you, but I was suffering every single day.”
“Whenever I see the older brothers and sisters in the military camp, the instructor classmates, I feel I have let them down. I have let down their tolerance and dedication to me, and also let down the headquarters’ cultivation of me.”
“I know all the things you did, yet I still couldn’t help my own selfish motives. I thought, I am willing to give everything for the headquarters and the people, from now until I grow up, even if I die in battle, I am willing to sell myself to the headquarters and the country for a lifetime. I don’t need official positions or military ranks, nor do I need to be paid a salary. Would that help reduce some of your sins, and would that mean you don’t have to die?”
“Even if in the end—” Ren Suixing’s eyes revealed towering hatred, “you are still sentenced to death, I will not regret it.”
“But you are not him!” Ren Suixing roared furiously, “I have endured struggles for so long, borne all the guilt and torment, but you are not him, you are not my mother!”
Ren Suixing had been educated in the military since childhood, with a fiery blood nature and temperament. He hated evil as an enemy, and firmly believed that no matter how much trouble he caused, he would always stand on the side of justice. But when Shen Yue and justice were placed before him, he hesitated. He had never seen his mother, and when he saw other children being pampered and mischievous in their mothers’ arms, he would feel very jealous. He very much wanted such a feeling, to be able to experience that kind of warmth.
So when the two were placed before him for him to choose, one could imagine how conflicted he was. Reason told him to sever this relationship right there, but emotion advised him to make concessions for this relationship. Therefore, when that appraisal result was placed before him, he received a very great shock. This result made all the concessions he had made look as ridiculous as a clown. He felt he had been deceived, and the hatred became piercing to the bone.
Ren Suixing’s questions, each like countless sharp knives stabbing at Shen Yue. Shen Yue felt as if he had fallen into the Abyssal Ocean, the filthy black tides pressing in like suffocation, the chill seeping into every inch of skin and flesh. His lips trembling, his face already streamed with tears.
“A person like you, you don’t deserve either…” Ren Suixing closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the mania and anger had dissipated, leaving only complete estrangement. “I will not protect a criminal who killed military officers. Starting from now, stay away from me.”
As they passed each other, Ren Suixing left one sentence:
“Apologize? You should apologize to those people you caused to die…”
“The day you are executed, I will definitely watch with my own eyes.”
This sentence directly made Shen Yue fall to the ground sitting. He could no longer bear it, curling his body tightly. Tears gushed out like a rainstorm. Pain and helplessness intertwined. The defenses in his heart collapsed with a rumble, and his entire person fell into complete despair.
He understood that he would never wait for the dawn to come.
The butler suddenly noticed that the young master no longer went to find that person. And it didn’t seem as simple as a disagreement; it seemed they had completely broken up. When Shen Yue was present, Ren Suixing would not come downstairs at all. Even if he did come down, his expression was terrifyingly gloomy, and he would even angrily curse at Shen Yue to get lost.
The butler was very happy. Although he did not know what had happened, it was a good thing that the young master had come to his senses. Shen Yue was a thorny rose, using his beautiful appearance to conceal his venom. They had already been deceived seven years ago, and now they must not be fooled again by his pitiful appearance. The young master was young before and didn’t understand, but now that he understood, naturally the farther away from this poisonous rose, the better.
Ren Suixing no longer protected Shen Yue, so the butler and servants became unrestrained. They would not lay hands on Shen Yue, but they assigned him more and more, heavier and heavier work. And apart from their disgusted and sarcastic glances, some of their words began to be blatantly said in front of Shen Yue, even becoming increasingly unbearable to the ear.
Ren Junzhu was busy with military affairs, most of the time not at the villa, only returning periodically as required by the center to provide Shen Yue with pheromones.
Shen Yue had shed tears a few times, but later stopped crying. He grew thinner and thinner, his complexion terrifyingly pale. Even Liang Qu and Liang Zhao, when taking him for checkups, felt his thinness was somewhat startling. Jiang Xuechen even instructed him to be sure to eat more.
Shen Yue himself had no particular reaction. He kept silently doing the chores, without any complaints and not much rest. Perhaps if his time was filled, he would have no time or mental energy left to feel pain anymore. He numbed himself in this way, unaware of the passage of time.
The temperature changes in the southern weather were very great. The day before, it was so hot that even wearing a short-sleeved shirt made one want to take it off, and the next day, the cold made people’s old knee problems feel like they were freezing out. Shen Yue was sweeping fallen leaves outside the courtyard. The Ren family estate was very quiet, elegant, and beautiful, with many trees planted, and there was a flower garden in the front courtyard.
Today, the sky was overcast, with dark clouds tumbling continuously. It looked like it was about to rain soon. Outside was very cold. No one wanted to be outside blowing in the cold wind, so they sent Shen Yue outside. He quietly swept the fallen leaves, his white hair hanging down in front of his body, his figure cool and lonely.
“Shen Yue……”
Someone called out a few times. Shen Yue dazedly looked over. A black-clothed omega walked toward him: “Why are you here?”
Since he had arrived, except for the last time they ate together, this omega rarely appeared. When Shen Yue saw him, he was momentarily still a bit stunned.
Seeing his puzzled look, the omega explained: “Affected by the natural instincts of bloodline, every time a special day arrives, I will fall into slumber for a period of time, so you don’t see me much.”
“Having met for so long, I still haven’t introduced myself to you. My name is Cecil.”
Shen Yue pressed his lips together and smiled, but he seemed listless; the smile appeared very forced.
Cecil looked him up and down, frowning as he asked: “The weather is so cold, how come you are dressed so lightly?”
Shen Yue was only wearing a light-colored thin shirt. The corner of his clothes was blown up by the wind, his skin as white as cold porcelain. He was shivering from the cold, even his fingertips turning a ghastly white. Yet he didn’t feel much. His moist and lustrous eyes were slightly open.
“Go to my room and get a coat. You and I are about the same height. Even if you can’t put it on, just draping it over yourself is fine. Don’t catch a cold.” Cecil extended his hand toward him.
Except for omegas with special bloodlines, most omegas are not particularly tall. Yet Cecil had a tall and straight stature, with a clean and handsome face. Even while carrying a sickly air, every move he made still carried the elegance and dignity of an aristocratic gentleman. Shen Yue’s beauty was like a clear, cold moon, making people covet it, wishing they could pluck the moon from the dome of the sky and hold it in their palms. Cecil, on the other hand, had a kind of dark-night-like temperament: mysterious, cold, and profound.
“I…” Shen Yue’s voice was somewhat hoarse. Before he could figure out what to say, he was interrupted.
“Mr. Cecil.” The butler ran over, looked at the two of them, then his sharp gaze landed on Shen Yue.
Shen Yue lowered his head and did not speak again.
“Your medicine is ready. Go drink it quickly. It’s so cold outside, don’t let yourself freeze. If you get sick, the colonel will lose his temper.” Whether intentional or unintentional, the butler said this last sentence very loudly and very deliberately.
Shen Yue pressed his lips tightly together, his white eyelashes drooping down, his fingers gripping the broom tightly.
“But—” Cecil wanted to bring Shen Yue back with him, but the butler came up to block his hand and ushered him into the villa.
“Let’s go, the colonel will be back soon, he’s just waiting to eat with you.”
Cecil’s handsome face furrowed its brow. He turned his head and kept looking at Shen Yue standing in the distance, yet he was still ushered back into the villa.
Only after they had been gone for a long time did Shen Yue lift his head. His complexion was pale as paper, his teeth tightly biting his lip causing his jaw to tense up. He looked at the empty courtyard for a while, then only after re-disguising himself did he continue sweeping the leaves alone.