Theodore, breathless, rained countless kisses upon Olivia’s lips. She could feel his trembling hand stripping the gown from his shoulder.
The scent of earth, rising damp from the dew-soaked ground, mingled with the fragrance of chrysanthemums, blending with his heat and his very breath until her head spun. Dizzy, Olivia clasped her arms around his neck.
All the feelings she had forced back before her return burst out with tears. The longing to cling to him, the despair that begged to be voiced, the joy of seeing him alive, the guilt of having caused his death.
And above all, the fear.
The fear that he might despise her. In the previous life, when she had confessed everything, he had chosen to stand as her ally. Yet she had believed it was only out of duty.
Was it not so? Whether her fault or not, his mother had died because of her and her nurse. He had said he hated her, then left home as a boy, never to face his father again.
So she had never once clung to him. Though she yearned for him so desperately, not once had she collapsed into his arms to weep.
Perhaps such things did not matter. There had always been too much to be done, and the only feelings permitted her were mourning for Pavel.
And yet, when she awoke in her fourth life, the very first thought had been: why did he kiss me?
Had he ever loved her?
Had he thought of her as much as she thought of him?
In that brutal third life, if she had thrown her arms around his neck and sobbed, would he have held her?
Olivia’s life had been loneliness. The ceaselessly repeated misery could be shared with no one, and there was no one left whom she might love. She had endured such a life for decades.
Whenever she felt she could not breathe, she remembered her childhood—a time made only of light. She remembered the love Pavel and Peril had lavished on her, the kindness of the castle folk, the warmth of the domain’s people.
And within those memories, Theodore had always been the brightest presence of all.
She had longed for him. She used to pray in secret every day, wishing he might truly be her brother, believing that if such a bond existed, nothing could ever sever it.
When he left, declaring that he hated her, she cried until her eyes swelled for days. She even pleaded with Pavel, asking if it was because she was a bad child that he had abandoned only her and left the house.
Even after she grew up and learned the whole truth, she sometimes remembered that time. She thought it fortunate that Theodore had not been closer to her. When her life was miserable and she needed someone to yearn for, she consoled herself with the thought that he must be living happily somewhere.
Through the endless repetition of years, her longing swelled so greatly it seemed it would burst, and all she could do was sob.
"……."
Theodore said nothing, even as he watched her cry. He feared that if he spoke, she might answer him with words of rejection.
So he silenced her lips with his own, stealing her breath. His desperate hands roamed over her body—her neck, her shoulders—before coming to rest lightly upon her swelling breasts. Olivia slipped her hands inside his coat to strip it away and bent her knees so he could easily lift her skirts.
Heat rose between their joined bodies. Olivia’s chest swelled so tightly it hurt; tension knotted her lower belly, her breathing ragged.
She wanted him so badly her mind felt deranged. The realization shocked her—how could she only now see it, after so many thoughts and years of yearning?
"Olivia."
At last Theodore called her name in a low voice. From Olivia’s lips came a whisper, mingled with fevered breaths:
"Do as you wish, Theo. Whatever you wish."
Because that was what she wished as well.
Theodore pushed her skirts up to her waist. Olivia was already wet, her undergarments soaked through.
"Mm, ahh—hnngh…."
Olivia covered her mouth with her hand. Theodore hastily yanked down her undergarments and loosed his trousers.
At his limit already, the thick tip of his cock was leaking. Bereft of patience or care, he shoved himself straight into her narrow opening.
"Ugh—!"
Even with her mouth stopped, a scream burst out of Olivia.
"Kh…."
Theodore groaned. Though her channel was slick with arousal, forcing through a passage never before opened in a single thrust was too much.
Wedged painfully tight between her walls, he ground his teeth. Just being inside her made his head spin; unable to endure, he spilled his seed at once.
"Ghhk—"
"Mmph…!"
Olivia turned her head and bit into his sleeve. Pain and rapture seized her body together. There was little pleasure in it, yet the sense of fulfillment was overwhelming.
Theodore came to himself somewhat and looked down at her.
He had done something that could never be undone.
His breath spilled raggedly between his lips. Olivia, her face flushed and weeping, was more beautiful than in any vision he had ever dreamed.
"Via…"
Unable to bear it, he called her name. Olivia clutched his arm, gasping and sobbing as she begged:
"Kiss me. Kiss me, Theo. Please… kiss me."
As if a kiss alone could resolve everything, Olivia pleaded again and again. Theodore could not refuse her. Bowing down over her, he licked the salt of tears from her lips and slowly shifted the angle to cover them once more.
"Hhhk, hhh…."
Between each kiss Olivia kept on sobbing.
Though he had already spent once, his cock had not softened. It remained wedged inside her, unable to move in or out. No—that was not the truth. The truth was that Theodore had no intention of leaving her body.
Even knowing it would hurt, he pressed his hips forward slowly. The passage, slick now with the seed he had spilled, was far wetter than before.
"It’s all right… nghh."
Olivia whispered again.
"Come in. Inside me. Come in… ahhh!"
In that instant he lost all restraint and slammed himself in to the root.
Olivia curled in on herself as he pierced her to the depths of her belly. Her entrance was stretched to its limit, painful—yet the very thought that it was Theodore inside her turned even that pain into joy.
"Goddamn…!"
Theodore spat a curse under his breath, his voice low and ragged. He could no longer endure even a moment more.
Though he was already buried to the root, he burned with the madness to push still deeper, to force himself further into her body. As he felt her open bit by bit to receive him, his mind turned to mush.
Like a madman he drove his hips forward. Striking her depths, he drew from Olivia a cry of pain.
"Hhhk, nghh…!"
From the tight entrance of her sex, seed and wetness leaked out in mingled spurts. Without pulling back more than an inch, Theodore ground again and again into the deepest part of her body.
Olivia moaned in distress. It felt as though he were spearing her all the way up beneath her breastbone. But as she grew accustomed to the pain, the stretching inside her began to feel like pleasure. From the far depths of her sex, wetness gushed forth with a squelching sound.
"Haah… ahh—"
To be joined with the one she had yearned for so long—how could such a thing be so rapturous?
She scarcely noticed the ache of her back pressed to the earth. Sobbing, she clung tightly to Theodore’s shoulders, wrapping herself around him. And each time he thrust deep inside, she lifted her hips as though to invite him deeper still.
"Mmhh… Theo… nghh, ahhh—"
"Hhhnngh…."
Groaning, Theodore seized her lips once more, drowning her in a greedy kiss as if to swallow even her last breath.
At last he shoved himself hard within, spilling his seed into her belly. Olivia, on the verge of tears, surrendered to the sensation in rapture.