I nodded and followed Luoyang to his studio.
It wasn’t a large space, but it was elegant. Aside from the workspace, there was a small, simple kitchen and a lounge area. Luoyang hurried in ahead of me to do a quick tidying up.
He scratched his head, looking quite embarrassed. “I usually just stay here when I’m too lazy to go home. It’s a bit messy, I hope you don’t mind.”
I smiled. “How could I mind? I’m the one intruding on you.”
Luoyang opened his small refrigerator. “Would you like juice or coffee?” He glanced at the coffee machine and shook a jar of nearly depleted beans. “Looks like there’s just enough for two cups.”
“Coffee, then,” I said, following his lead.
“Double sugar and double cream?” he asked, holding the containers.
I nodded. “How did you know I like it sweet?”
He thought about it for a moment and replied, “I didn’t, actually. I just thought… your life has been too bitter lately. I wanted to add a little more sweetness for you.”
When the coffee was ready, I took a sip. A wave of warmth I couldn’t quite describe washed over me. Luoyang took a few sips of his own, then sat down and began to sketch. Curious, I leaned in to watch.
Whenever I didn’t understand something, I asked. To my surprise, he didn’t find me annoying at all; he answered every question. As we talked about his craft, he even started teaching me with genuine earnestness.
“Zhou Li, you actually have quite a bit of talent,” Luoyang praised. “If you weren’t the Young Mistress of the Jiang family, I’d want to hire you as my assistant.”
Immersed in the work, I felt a surge of energy. I laughed and said, “It’s rare to be appreciated by the great Designer Luo. If the day ever comes when I’m no longer Young Mistress Jiang, I’ll come and rely on you for a job.”
Luoyang stared at my laughing face, momentarily dazed. A flush of ambiguous red spread from his cheeks to his ears. He quickly looked away, clicking his mouse aimlessly.
“Zhou Li, you actually look very beautiful when you smile,” he said softly. “Like the lines from the Book of Songs: ‘Her winning smiles were sweet; her fine eyes beamed so bright.’ Tell me… do you really think there will be a day when you aren’t Young Mistress Jiang?”
He stopped what he was doing and waited for my answer.
I sat in the chair beside him, staring into the void for a long time. Finally, I replied, “I hope there is a day when I can simply be myself again.”
The sound of his mouse clicking intensified.
A moment later, Luoyang told me the sketch was finished. I turned to look at the screen and froze. The jewelry design he had created for me was a pet dog.
“Lili is gone,” Luoyang said, his voice tinged with emotion and a hint of nervousness, “but she can live in your heart forever.”
He didn’t dare look at me, his hand moving the mouse as if he were a child handing in homework, waiting for the teacher’s grade.
“Thank you. I love it,” I said softly.
In that moment, I felt as though my heart had been filled. I looked at the image of Lili, tears spilling over, but soon I was laughing through the tears. Based on my memory, I pointed out a few details and asked if they could be modified. Luoyang agreed to everything.
I was so excited I started cheering like a child. Luoyang laughed and gave me a high-five, saying this was our joint creation. In my excitement, I stumbled while hopping around. Luoyang reached out quickly to catch me.
His hand slid over the back of my hand, brushing my fingertips, but it wasn’t enough to stop my fall. He ended up pulling me into his arms, holding me tightly by the waist.
Our eyes met. We were so close I could hear his breathing. The room felt enshrouded in a thick, hazy atmosphere. For a fleeting second, I thought he was going to kiss me. I lowered my eyes, offering no resistance.
All my life, I hadn’t been without suitors, but I always kept people at a distance. It wasn’t that I didn’t want affection; it was that I felt inferior. In this moment, I realized how much I craved happiness.
But in the end, Luoyang pushed me away. He didn’t kiss me.
His face was an eerie shade of red as he apologized, “I’m sorry, Zhou Li. We shouldn’t… do this.”
My heart constricted with a dull ache. It seemed that even now, I still didn’t have the right to pursue happiness.
I looked toward the door. “Perhaps I should head back.”
Luoyang’s gaze shifted restlessly. He stared at the computer screen. “Um… once the prototype is made, I’ll show it to you.”
I waited for a while, but that was all he said.
“Okay,” I whispered, looking at my toes. Then I left in a hurry.
To say I wasn’t disappointed would be a lie. I was unhappy. For a moment, I even wanted to cry. But I couldn’t let him see that, so I walked away as fast as I could.
Luoyang didn’t see me out. I hailed a taxi alone.
Once inside and buckled in, I received a message from Jiang Shitian:
[Where are you? Not back yet? Come to the dining room. I’m waiting for you for dinner.]
I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I gripped my phone, letting them fall one by one. I felt a strange mixture of emotions. I told the driver to hurry.
When I arrived home, I saw Jiang Shitian’s lonely silhouette in the dining room. Jiang Jun must have gone out with Mianmian. Jiang Shitian was sitting there alone, the table still covered with food.
A wave of warmth hit me. I called out to him sincerely, “Dad.”
It felt exceptionally intimate this time. Jiang Shitian snapped out of his daze and turned around. Seeing it was me, he seemed to wake from a dream. He stood up, rubbing his eyes, and walked toward the door. “I’ll have the servants reheat the food. It’s been sitting too long; it’s cold.”
I lowered my head, my conscience pricked. I didn’t dare tell him I had already eaten with Luoyang. He had been sitting here waiting, skipping his own dinner.
I sat down obediently. The servants were efficient, and the food was soon back on the table, steaming. Jiang Shitian sat back down and ladled a bowl of soup for me.
“Have some soup. I told you before, you need to eat properly,” he said with gentle reproach.
I didn’t say a word and just drank the soup. Seeing me drink so quickly, he smiled. “Is it good? Have more. Even if it’s just the two of us, we should eat with zest.”
“Okay,” I replied. That meal was seasoned with a thousand conflicting emotions.
…
Perhaps because Jiang Jun was rarely home lately, the house felt a bit empty. A few days later, Jiang Shitian brought his mother over for a short stay.
Jiang Jun somehow got wind of his grandmother’s arrival, and for the first time in forever, he actually showed up at home in the middle of the day.