In his panic, Jiang Jun caught me from behind. I landed right in his arms. In that split second, I could feel the heat radiating from his body. Even through our layers of clothing, I could perceive the forceful thrumming of his heart.
However, my instinct was to reject it. I only wanted to get away as fast as possible—away from everything. I tried to stand straight, but Jiang Jun’s grip remained on my arm. He was holding me a bit too tight; I shook him off in pain.
“I’m sorry,” Jiang Jun blurted out.
I knew he didn’t mean it, but I was truly furious. Holding my breath, I finally spat out the words I had been suppressed in the depths of my heart.
“Jiang Jun,” I said, “you really are a piece of work.”
Jiang Jun lowered his head. Surprisingly, he didn’t argue. Instead, he stubbornly took hold of my luggage. This time, his tone was sincere. “Zhou Li, let’s eat something first. You won’t have the strength to do anything on an empty stomach.”
Hearing his persuasion, I finally realized that I really should eat. After all, there was no point in punishing myself. So, I let him put my luggage back and watched as he began arranging a meal for me.
As he set the table, he asked, “Zhou Li, have you really eaten nothing at all?”
I looked him in the eye. “No. Nothing all day.”
Jiang Jun paused for a moment before resuming his movements. “Zhou Li, you don’t have to degrade yourself for my sake in the future.”
I let out a mocking laugh. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
Eventually, Jiang Jun laid out a lavish spread of food across the table. “I didn’t know what you liked,” he said, “so I ordered a bit of everything.”
My hand froze, chopsticks mid-air. After a day of such turmoil, I found I had absolutely no appetite despite the feast before me. Still, to save face, I took a small portion from each dish. I intended to at least fill my stomach.
Jiang Jun didn’t eat. He sat across from me, holding a glass of water and watching me. Seeing me willing to eat seemed to bring him some relief.
I ate sparingly. After tasting a bit of everything, I pulled a tissue and wiped my lips. I looked at Jiang Jun with a polite, distant gaze. “Thank you for the meal. Today is actually my birthday. This is the first time I’ve ever had such a feast.”
Jiang Jun froze. His veins bulged as his hands tightened around his water glass. He was clearly gripped by a surge of force. His expression was incredibly complex—heaven only knows the mix of emotions swirling inside him.
After a long silence, he looked at me and struggled to speak. “Zhou Li… I… I really didn’t know today was your birthday. If I had known, I would have at least prepared a gift, or a surprise. But you didn’t tell me.”
He lowered his head as he finished. I, however, kept my eyes fixed on him, taking in every shred of his reaction.
I set the tissue down and said calmly, “My date of birth is on our marriage certificate.”
Jiang Jun’s face turned bright red. He was flushed with a shame so deep it seemed he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.
I added softly, “I know you didn’t notice. But when we registered the marriage, you did it of your own free will, didn’t you?”
Every word hit home. What I wanted to emphasize was that since he hadn’t opposed the marriage at the start, he had no right to use morality to hostage me now, claiming I forced the marriage to tear him and Mianmian apart.
I suspect those words made him want to die of shame. Seeing him now was like watching a mute person swallow bitter herbs—he had a mouth full of grievances but no way to speak them.
Jiang Jun downed several glasses of water. Once finished, he seemed to reach a sudden resolution. He grabbed my hand and said, “Zhou Li, come with me.”
I looked at him in confusion, then down at our joined hands. If this counted as “holding hands,” it was our first time. Though it wasn’t exactly romantic, it felt startlingly sudden.
I didn’t pull away. I let him lead me. “Jiang Jun, you aren’t drunk, are you?” I asked, knowing the answer.
“Don’t be silly,” he replied. “I’m drinking plain water.”
I lifted our linked hands as a gesture. “Then what is the meaning of this?”
Realizing his breach of etiquette, he quickly let go. He slowed his pace, looking ahead awkwardly. “I… I just want to spend your birthday with you.”
I was momentarily stunned, but I quickly masked my expression. I turned my head away. “I don’t need your company.”
Jiang Jun came to a halt. He stood still, then turned to face me with a serious expression. “Zhou Li, can you stop being so stubborn? This is our honeymoon. We came here specifically for this.”
I lowered my head, avoiding his gaze. “I don’t want to act anymore,” I said impatiently.
Jiang Jun stepped closer and said softly, “This isn’t an act. I sincerely want to spend this time with you.”
A light breeze played with the ends of my hair. Without realizing it, we had walked outside the hotel. I looked at the sky, painted with the colors of the setting sun, and felt momentarily moved by the beauty. I began to walk forward on my own accord.
Jiang Jun walked side-by-side with me. He glanced at me from time to time. “Zhou Li, it’s your birthday. You should be happy.”
I gave him a cooperative, radiant smile. The glow of the sunset reflected on my face, making me look brighter and more moved than usual. I noticed that Jiang Jun was actually staring, captivated. He instinctively reached out his hand, wanting to touch my face.
I dodged slightly, just barely avoiding his touch. Sensing his intrusion, he lowered his head. “I’m sorry. That was disrespectful of me.”
I kept my eyes on the horizon, feigning grace. “It’s fine.”
“Zhou Li,” Jiang Jun asked, “what kind of gift do you want?”
I lowered my head as unpleasant memories resurfaced.
“What gifts have you received before?” he pressed. “I’ll get you something different so it’s not unoriginal.”
I shook my head with a bitter smile. “I’ve only ever received Lili. My dog, Lili, is the only birthday gift I’ve ever received in my entire life.”
I felt a pang of longing as I fell back into deep memory. I told Jiang Jun that I had begged my father to buy Lili for me for my tenth birthday. Before that, my only birthday tradition was a plain boiled egg from my grandmother—not even a red-dyed one for luck.
Meanwhile, for my half-sister Zhou Qing’s birthdays, my stepmother would go to great lengths to find treasures from all over the world. My stepmother always told the world how well she treated me, even claiming the Jiang marriage was a “gift” to me instead of Zhou Qing.
In reality, only Zhou Qing was allowed the right to love freely.
Jiang Jun stopped walking. He looked me in the eye once more. “Zhou Li,” he said, “how about we team up to escape this fate?”