Alfred entered the office in the evening as he always did, a stack of neatly organized reports prepared on a tray.
The routine had become almost ritualistic at this point.
He approached the desk and placed the tray in front of the Penguin.
“On time as always,” the Penguin said with a satisfied smile.
“While you are behind schedule, master,” Alfred replied calmly.
The Penguin grimaced.
“I am trying.
How the hell is there so much paperwork?” “We expanded into multiple sectors and even into other cities,” Alfred said.
“It is natural that the workload is growing.
I would advise hiring a secretary to assist you when I am not present.” “Maybe I should hire someone… or multiple people to take on your tasks,” the Penguin muttered.
“You can return to being my assistant like in the early days.” “That could work,” Alfred said thoughtfully.
“However, I believe I am more efficient when I move around and monitor matters in person.
We can, instead, train people gradually to replace me.” The Penguin nodded.
“Alright, I have later…” The sentence never finished.
A blur of blue and red exploded through the office wall and struck Alfred directly, sending him crashing through the opposite wall into the hallway beyond.
Debris scattered across the office floor as the Penguin flinched back in shock.
Floating in the middle of the room, eyes glowing red, was Superman.
Silence lasted only a second.
Then Alfred stepped back into the office, dust covering his suit.
“That is scarcely the manner in which a gentleman might be expected to make his entrance into another’s establishment,” he said.
“Where is Kara?” Superman demanded.
“I have not had the occasion to observe her presence today, nor, indeed, upon the day preceding.” Alfred replied.
Superman vanished from his position and reappeared in front of him, grabbing Alfred by the neck and lifting him off the ground.
“Stop your nonsense.
I saw you kidnap her.” “I have done no such thing,” Alfred said calmly despite the grip.
“And I cannot commend your manner of inquiry.
Pray set me down, and we may converse as civilized persons, rather than descend to…” “I am not playing your games,” Superman interrupted, tightening his hold.
“Where is Kara?!
What did you do to her?” Alfred lifted one hand.
A green stone manifested in his palm.
The effect was immediate.
Superman’s face twisted as the kryptonite drained him.
His grip loosened, and Alfred dropped back to the ground.
At the same time, thin wires shot outward from Alfred’s sleeves, wrapping around Superman’s body and binding him in place beside the glowing stone.
Before Superman could react further, Alfred stepped forward and delivered a clean punch to his face with kryptonite in hand, sending him crashing to the floor.
Alfred adjusted and began brushing dust from his suit.
“What a most distasteful fellow,” he observed with quiet disdain.
“To force his way within and proceed to indulge in such a vulgar display, one might sooner expect such conduct from a barbarian than from a man purporting to possess any measure of refinement.” Behind the desk, the Penguin stared at the restrained Superman.
“Even he got beaten,” he muttered.
“Why am I not surprised?” “You liar,” Superman said weakly.
“You set a trap…” Alfred stepped forward and stomped him once, firm and controlled.
“Pray, compose yourself, you most unrefined barbarian of the stars.” The Penguin cleared his throat slightly.
“So… what is going on?
What did you do to the girl to get him to act like this?” “Of course, nothing,” Alfred replied.
“I would never do something as lowly as kidnapping a lady.
Someone must have impersonated me.
This individual rushed here under the assumption he is making an intelligent decision.” “So it has nothing to do with us,” the Penguin said slowly.
“Then the question is, what do we do with Superman?” “On the contrary,” Alfred said.
“We must rescue her.” The Penguin frowned.
“She is a pain in the ass, if you ask me.
Good riddance.” “Master,” Alfred said, “someone is impersonating me and committing questionable acts.
This damages my reputation and by extension yours.” He paused briefly.
“People will remember us as men who kidnap innocent women.
That is unacceptable.
We must find and rescue her to clear our name.” The Penguin hesitated.
Alfred continued “Master, the rumors that will spread are not something we can ignore.
We must act immediately.” From the ground, Superman spoke again, his voice pained.
“If it wasn’t you… then let me go.
We can search together.” Alfred looked down at him.
“You have seen fit to intrude upon this establishment and cause damages amounting to several thousand dollars,” he said.
“You will not, I regret to inform you, be permitted to depart without rendering proper compensation.” “This is not the time for you to joke.” “I take it that you are not in the habit of carrying the means requisite to make restitution for the damages you have so liberally occasioned.” Superman stared at him.
“Stop this joke.
If money is what you want, I can pay later.” Alfred turned his head slightly toward the Penguin.
“Master,” he said calmly, “Please summon Raven.” (A/N: Not Teen Titan Raven.
Penguin had a different Raven working for him) Alfred knelt next to Superman without another word, he produced a metallic collar fitted with a small fragment of Kryptonite embedded at its center.
He fastened it around Superman’s neck.
The moment it locked into place, the larger piece of Kryptonite in Alfred’s hand vanished.
Superman was now like a collared animal, completely helpless before the scary human in front of him.
Moments later, the office door opened.
Raven entered alongside two men, her eyes scanning the destruction, the broken wall, the scattered debris, and finally the sight of Superman bound on the floor.
Confusion flickered across her face and the two men beside her.
Alfred released the wires, freeing Superman from the restraints, though the collar ensured he remained powerless.
He then turned to Raven as if assigning a routine task.
“Raven,” he said calmly, “this barbarian forced his way into the establishment and caused significant damage without reason.
He has nothing on him to compensate for it.” He gestured toward Superman.
“Please take him to the kitchen.
He will work there to repay the damages.” Silence followed.
Everyone in the room stared.
Superman looked at him in disbelief.
“What?
You want me to work in a kitchen?” “Make him clean dishes, wipe the floors or any other task you see fit” Alfred continued, unfazed by the stares.
“If he causes further damage, record it.
It will be added to his debt.
And if he becomes disruptive, do not hesitate to whip him until he complies.
He is an alien.
He has no rights on this planet” Superman stared at him, speechless.
Raven’s expression shifted slowly from being confused, to shocked then finally into interest.
“Can I do anything I want to him, Mr.
Alfred?” she asked, a faint, unsettling smile forming.
“He is all yours, You can do as you see fit” Alfred replied.
“Now, drag him away.” The two men moved immediately, grabbing Superman and pulling him to his feet.
Weak and disoriented, he struggled, but the Kryptonite collar left him with no real strength to resist.
“This is insane!
wait!…” Raven stepped forward and punched him cleanly in the face.
“You and I are going to have so much fun, it is like a dream came true.
First destination, the kitchen,” she said cheerfully.
Superman was horrified, he couldn’t believe he fell into the hands of these lunatics.
She turned briefly, offering a polite smile toward the Penguin and Alfred.
“I will make sure to whip him up into an alien that understands how a person should conduct himself privately and in public!!
Good night.” Then she walked out, dragging Superman with her, the two men following behind.
The door closed.
Silence settled again.
The Penguin stared at the spot where Superman had just been, his expression somewhere between disbelief and resignation.
“This is so messed up and weird,” he muttered.
“He had it coming,” Alfred replied calmly.
“Who gave him the audacity to cause trouble here?
Being an alien means he has no rights or laws to protect him.
Our good treatment should not be extended to him.” [If he knew, you would capture him and sentence him to work in the kitchen and to satisfy Raven’s sadistic wishes, he wouldn’t have dared to come here.
I didn’t even know we could do that.] Penguin thought silently.
The Penguin leaned back, his face turning thoughtful.
“When you say you are one hell of a butler… you don’t mean that literally, do you?” He paused.
“I mean, you sent him to Raven.
That’s… messed up.” “It is his punishment,” Alfred said.
“Relying on him to repay the damages through cleaning alone would take years.
It is unrealistic to expect him to work for years.
So this is more… efficient approach to teach him how to act in future.” The Penguin stared at him for a moment longer, then shook his head.
“You know what?
It is not that different from the other time with the Joker and I don’t care at this point what punishments you deliver.
I am already busy enough.” He waved a hand dismissively.
“Go find the girl and solve this problem.
Do whatever you see fit to the one impersonating you.” Alfred gave a nod.
“Consider it done.” His body dissolved into smoke, vanishing from the office.
The Penguin exhaled slowly and looked back at the mountain of paperwork on his desk.
“Yes,” he muttered to himself.
“He definitely comes from hell.” He picked up a file and stared at it.
“So… where was I?”