[Are there any new readers? Raise a hand and let me see, why is the world so quiet?]
“^”
In a corner where few people ever passed by, Lin Zhaoyang looked at the cremation certificate in his hand, shedding tears in silence.
Name: Meng Yuanqing. Gender: Female. Date of death: December 15.
However, he was holding more than just this one; another cremation certificate was stacked right beneath it.
Name: Lin Song. Gender: Male. Date of death: May 20.
Although people know from birth that there will be a day they walk toward death, Lin Zhaoyang certainly did not wish for his adoptive parents to both pass away this year due to exhaustion.
Lin Zhaoyang stacked the two cremation certificates together so that his adoptive parents could stay together forever even after death.
“Ding-ding-ding, ding-ding-ding.”
The phone in Lin Zhaoyang’s pants pocket rang. Even though his vision was blurred by tears, he still managed to clearly see the caller ID: Su Xiaonan, arguably his only friend.
“Where on earth did you run off to? Dinner is ready, come back and eat.”
Su Xiaonan worked out of town, yet he specifically took half a month off to come back and help handle Meng Yuanqing’s funeral arrangements. He didn’t know how to comfort people; he simply figured he would keep Lin Zhaoyang company a bit more, as losing two family members within a span of a single year was quite worrying.
Today was December 20, and five whole days had already passed since Meng Yuanqing’s cremation. The moment he turned his head away, Lin Zhaoyang had run off and vanished. Fortunately, his call still went through.
“I know, I’ll be right back.”
Lin Zhaoyang hadn’t gone out just to cry. His adoptive parents had already reached the age to receive a pension, meaning they could collect some cancellation benefits after passing away. Whatever benefits were claimable had to be claimed, though he had filled in Su Xiaonan as the beneficiary.
Su Xiaonan didn’t guard against him at all; he had access to the other’s ID card and bank card numbers, and taking them out wouldn’t have mattered either. The other probably hadn’t even noticed that those items were missing, only realizing that he was gone.
“Brother Xiaonan, I just went out for a walk.”
Lin Zhaoyang obediently returned to Su Xiaonan’s house. After both of his adoptive parents passed away, the Su family worried about him, so they made him come over for dinner every day and would knock on his door if he didn’t show up.
Su Xiaonan frowned: “Your eyes are all red. Did you go out and cry in secret?”
“They will be happy in their next life. From now on, I will work hard to earn money and send a share to you, my dad, and my mom as well.”
Su Xiaonan knew Lin Zhaoyang must have gone off to grieve in private. After pondering for a long time, he realized he truly didn’t know how to comfort people, so he could only speak of things he was actually capable of doing.
Father Su and Mother Su peeked out from behind the doorframe, watching secretly. Comforting people was even less of their specialty, as it was just too difficult.
Lin Zhaoyang shook his head. How could he possibly add any more burden to Su Xiaonan?
“Brother Xiaonan, there’s no need. I contacted my biological parents the other day; they said their financial situation is pretty good right now and they’ll take care of me from now on. It’s just that they live abroad, so we might not be able to meet in the future.”
Lin Zhaoyang’s eye rims were red, yet a smile carried across his face.
“Oh, that’s great. Call me in the future, or sending letters works too.”
Su Xiaonan’s brain spun for a long time without coming up with any profound thoughts; he simply felt that as long as Lin Zhaoyang lived a good life afterward, it didn’t matter where in the world he was.
The phone Lin Zhaoyang was using was one Su Xiaonan had handed down to him; it could only make calls, send text messages, and read novels. Besides, calling abroad seemed very expensive, so writing letters was a good idea too.
“Alright, after I go abroad, I’ll frequently write letters to Brother Xiaonan.”
“But Brother Xiaonan, you need to work hard from now on, find a girlfriend, and live a good life on your own.”
Lin Zhaoyang smiled as he looked at Su Xiaonan, his gaze lingering on the other’s face for a while. He wouldn’t be able to see him anymore after this, so he wanted to look a bit more right now.
“Got it, got it. Why are you sounding just like my mom?”
Su Xiaonan rubbed the back of his head, never expecting that he would one day be lectured by Lin Zhaoyang.
“Um, dinner time?”
Shen Hong couldn’t help but call out. If they kept chatting any longer, the food would get cold.
“Alright, Auntie Shen, we’re coming right now.”
After having a meal with the Su family, Lin Zhaoyang went to pack his luggage. He was going to leave this place tomorrow; everything that needed to be done had been done, and it was time for him to leave.
A few days later, at the bus station.
“Brother Xiaonan, I’m leaving. I’ll take the bus first and then catch a plane.”
“Goodbye.”
Lin Zhaoyang waved his hand, pulled his luggage, and walked away without looking back.
“Take it slow on the road.”
Su Xiaonan waved happily to say goodbye to Lin Zhaoyang. No matter where he was heading, as long as he was happy, that was all that mattered.
Brother Xiaonan, goodbye. Never to meet again.
Lin Zhaoyang indeed wanted to leave, but not in the sense of leaving this place, as he meant leaving this world.
Auntie Shen had once mentioned that the day Meng Yuanqing brought him back, it was raining. He must have caught a cold and run a fever in the rain back then, which was why his physical constitution was so weak now.
For someone born with congenital heart disease, rather than being put up for adoption by his biological parents, it was more accurate to call it abandonment, and abandonment on a rainy day, at that.
There were no such things as biological parents, nor were there any plane trips. He merely wanted to prevent the Su family from grieving over his own choice.
Lin Zhaoyang simply left his original city, found a post office, and fabricated a wonderful future for himself through a series of scheduled, timed letters.
After thinking for a long time, Lin Zhaoyang chose a desolate mountain as his final resting place.
“If people really do have a next life, I hope my adoptive parents won’t pick up random kids anymore. It’s just too exhausting.” Lin Zhaoyang’s murmur was scattered by the wind blowing through the forest.
People are not born as actors, yet they constantly play roles, unlocking different identities and personas at every stage of life.
Even though he hadn’t wanted to live all that much, he had struggled through 22 years of pain just to fulfill the expectations of his adoptive parents.
At this very moment, how could death be considered anything less than a form of release?
From a realistic standpoint, he had no money, let alone labor capacity. It was already hard enough for ordinary people to make a living; could anyone really depend on him?