Hu Shen carefully considered the situation and felt that if the goal was simply to conceive, this would suffice.
But… she might have given Xie Xixiao a bit too much to drink.
Deer-blood wine was potent, and he was still injured. If things ended just like this, he would likely suffer greatly.
She thought, since even when breeding sheep and dogs, no one said it would succeed on the first try, continuing a few more times wouldn’t hurt. Once was enough, but twice was just as convenient.
Once her breathing steadied, Hu Shen swallowed and tentatively asked him, "Are you all right?"
After a brief moment of disorientation, Xie Xixiao forced himself to regain his senses. His gaze, which had been unfocused and unable to settle, gradually sharpened until it finally landed on her. The look in his eyes seemed to carry both resentment and loathing.
Perhaps it was the wine that made his blood surge, but his lips appeared even more crimson. He forced a smile, and the tone of his voice, filled with anger, sent a chilling shiver down one’s spine. Yet, upon closer listening, there were still faint, breathy gasps that seemed tinged with desire.
"This wasn’t your own idea, was it? Who ordered you to do this—your brother, or your Khan?"
Hu Shen remained silent, only shifting her gaze away as she continued her gentle movements.
A vein throbbed at Xie Xixiao’s temple. He took this as a provocation and gritted his teeth. "How much longer are you going to keep moving? Isn’t once enough? What orders did they give you, to make you disregard your own chastity just to humiliate me?"
That sensation from earlier slowly began to wash over her again. Hu Shen pressed her lips together, her hand instinctively gripping the thin, loosened clothing he wore.
"It’s not humiliation. I am the woman the Khan bestowed upon you. This is how it should be between us."
Hu Shen caught a faint scent of blood.
A haze seemed to cloud her vision, a physical instinct that no amount of blinking could clear. Yet, she could vaguely make out a crimson stain spreading across the man’s shoulder. She reached out and placed her hand there, her fingertips brushing against warmth and dampness.
It must have been his back injury, aggravated by the strain, causing the bleeding to worsen.
Feeling guilty, she could only quicken her pace, hoping to finish sooner so he could rest. "Don’t waste your energy. The wine is strong. I’m helping you."
Xie Xixiao let out a cold laugh, as if he had heard something absurd. "My woman? How ridiculous! You commit such an act and call it helping me? You Xianbei people are utterly shameless!"
That pleasure, which made him want to resort to self-destruction to resist, gnawed at him once more. His heart beat faster and faster, and his hatred grew stronger and stronger.
His hands clenched tightly, never ceasing their struggle. Yet, under the dual assault, his breathing grew increasingly rapid, sounding more and more suggestive.
Hu Shen directly grasped his wrist, pressing him down. "What do you mean? I don’t understand. I don’t know much of the Zhongyuan language."
Xie Xixiao sneered in anger. As he tried to break free from her grip, he realized she was using his own force to prop herself up, moving even more vigorously. Furious, he mocked her in the Xianbei tongue, "You are as despicable as a hyena, as cunning as a weasel. Can you understand that?"
Hu Shen looked at him, blinked, and replied sincerely, "I understand. You’re quite considerate, taking the trouble to repeat it in Xianbei."
Xie Xixiao choked on his breath, his crimson eyes fixed on her with deadly intensity. He refused to utter another word, unwilling to let any unwarranted sound escape his lips.
This time was even longer than before, so long that her waist began to ache, and a subtle discomfort settled in her lower abdomen.
She had no technique, only a blind exertion of force, as if all the unfamiliar sensations and inexplicable longings could be filled and satisfied through sheer effort.
By the end, Xie Xixiao lay dazed on the low couch, the despair of being unable to break free having drained his strength. He lifted his eyelids to look at her: "Is it enough?"
Hu Shen nodded—this response meant it was enough.
Xie Xixiao let out a low laugh, his laughter deepening the redness at the corners of his eyes, then erupting into violent coughs, blood seeping from the corner of his mouth.
Hu Shen was frightened by his state, her heart filled with both panic and fear.
She thought of her mother and the women forcibly dragged into tents. She had once despised those who did wicked things to women, but now she had done the same as those she loathed.
To live, one sometimes relies on a single breath of will. Xie Xixiao had clung to that breath for a year, but this sudden calamity had scattered most of it.
The metallic sweetness in his throat surged upward. Gazing at the tent ceiling, his murmured words carried endless desolation: "In ancient times, Han Xin endured the humiliation of crawling between another's legs yet never regretted his ambition. Today—"
Hu Shen raised her hand to cover his lips, cutting off his words.
"Don't speak anymore."
Though she didn't fully understand, she knew roughly what he would say—likely composing poetry, right?
Captured Zhongyuan people were like this; when pushed to the brink of misery, they would compose poetry.
But she couldn't understand it. All she knew was that she couldn't let him keep coughing up blood.
She pressed her thumb firmly against his lips, haphazardly wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth onto her hand. The couch was covered in thick animal hides, which would be difficult to clean if stained.
Driven to the peak of resentment, he no longer cared for proper demeanor or gentlemanly conduct. Xie Xixiao parted his lips, ready to bite, wishing he could tear her flesh and blood apart, returning the pain inflicted upon him. Fortunately, Hu Shen reacted quickly, pulling her hand back: "How dare you bite?"
Xie Xixiao sneered coldly: "You'd best kill me now, or I will repay today's humiliation."
Hu Shen lowered her gaze, offering no reply. She tried to rise but found her legs had gone weak at some point, nearly causing her to sink back down.
Taking two deep breaths, she forced herself up, pulled the quilt over his chest, but left his lower body exposed: "Endure it a little longer."
The places where they had touched were sticky and unpleasant; they definitely needed cleaning.
Beside the fire in the tent, there was warm water. She washed the blood from her hands, first cleaning herself. Without turning around, she knew Xie Xixiao would not look at her—Zhongyuan people had strict rules, especially those from noble families like him.
But she could not afford to be as reserved as he was. When she returned with the water, she looked him over completely, then directly wiped him with a cloth.
Xie Xixiao's eyes were filled with disbelief. He tried to rise and avoid her, but was firmly restrained: "You—do you still know any shame?"
Hu Shen insisted stubbornly: "It's still dirty. You can't sleep like this; you'll stain the bedding."
This was her first time doing such a thing, but she felt little shame. Wiping the unfamiliar parts only made her acutely aware that what lay before her was a person, not some beast.
Xie Xixiao resisted even more fiercely, his unsteady breaths now likely fueled by anger.
"The Khan gave you to me. You don't need to hide from me." Hu Shen looked at his groin and murmured, "I'm sorry, it seems I've bruised this."
She wiped him clean, retied the sash around his waist, and looked at him with deep remorse. "I'll be gentler next time."
"Next time?" Xie Xixiao was so furious he seemed on the verge of coughing up blood again. "There's actually going to be a next time? Do you take me for your plaything, to be handled as you please?"
Hu Shen looked over and replied earnestly, "No, I am your woman, meant to bear your children."
Xie Xixiao's brow furrowed tightly, as if he had grasped some crucial point. "What do you mean?"
Hu Shen stood up. Naturally, she couldn't reveal her brother's plans, so she only spoke words meant to persuade him to surrender. "Set your heart at ease and stay. In the future, when we have children, we'll live a good life on the grasslands."
Xie Xixiao's pupils trembled, as if he had never expected to hear such absurd words.
But Hu Shen had already risen to her feet. "I can't untie the rope for you yet. Please bear with it a little longer."
With that, she tightened her robe, ignoring whatever he might say next, turned, and left the tent.
The wind outside was blowing even fiercer. She hadn't realized she had lingered inside for so long. The stars and moon were bright in the sky, but when she looked up, all she could think of was Xie Xixiao's furious, reddened eyes after being humiliated.
Her heart pounded violently, and she quickly lowered her head to walk back. The wind brushing against her cheeks sobered her up considerably.
She knew she had done something terrible. If her mother were still alive, she would surely be very disappointed.
Returning to her tent, Hu Shen did not see her brother. She wondered if he was deliberately avoiding her. She lay down on the bed fully clothed, closed her eyes, and forced herself to fall asleep quickly.
Perhaps the events of that night truly shattered his spirit, for Xie Xixiao fell ill.
When Hu Shen went to see him the next day, he lay with his eyes closed, seemingly lifeless. Reaching out to touch his forehead, she found it burning hot.
She quickly fetched a thicker quilt to cover him and asked her brother to find a traveling physician for him.
While the physician was examining him, she and her brother stood nearby watching. Her brother's gaze fell on her, and he hesitated before speaking. "Last night… did it succeed?"
Hu Shen pressed her lips together and nodded.
Hu Lang visibly relaxed, then instinctively frowned as he looked at the man on the bed. "Truly useless, falling ill just like that."
The traveling physician finished his examination and stood up to report, saying it was likely due to the reopened wound on his back, which had caused the fever. He would have to endure it on his own.
Medicine was scarce on the grasslands. Sometimes, when someone fell ill, death could come swiftly. Logically, Xie Xixiao was not entitled to medicine, but he absolutely could not die at this moment, and the Khan would not allow it either.
Hu Lang saw the physician out, instructing Hu Shen to stay and watch over him, while he himself went to find a way to procure medicine.
Hu Shen looked at Xie Xixiao, her guilt deepening. Over the past year, he had endured so many injuries and persisted, yet now he was feverish because of a wound on his back that had already been treated. It was hard for her not to think it was due to the rage and humiliation from the previous night.
Seeing that he was still bound by the rope, she wanted to untie him. But when she reached out, she ultimately withdrew her hand. First, she found an iron chain to fasten around his ankle, and only then dared to remove the hemp rope.
Her brother returned quickly and handed her the medicinal herbs. "Crush these and apply them to the wound. It will help him recover faster. Little sister, you should do it yourself. I wouldn't trust anyone else."
Hu Shen looked at the relatively fresh herbs in her hand, knowing they were valuable and must have been difficult to obtain.
She raised her eyes to look at her brother, feeling reluctant, guilty, and uneasy.
She took a few steps forward, gently leaning into her brother's embrace, tears welling up in her eyes unbidden.
Hu Lang stiffened, raising his hand to gently pat his sister's shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"Brother, shouldn't we be doing this? I dreamed of Mother last night, and the look in her eyes was full of disappointment."
Hu Lang's gaze darkened as he reached out to stroke his sister's head. "Don't overthink it. He has a fierce temper and was bound to go through this. It's his own fault. If he had served the Khan earlier, why would we have to put you through this?"
Hu Shen closed her eyes, forcing herself to take in these words.
He said softly, "Alright, I still have matters to attend to. I'll be back soon."
Not wanting to delay him, Hu Shen sniffled and straightened up from his embrace.
Watching her brother leave, she went to find a stone mortar to grind the medicine. As the medicinal juice was pounded out, a sudden sharp pain shot through her shoulder, as if something had struck her, sending her tumbling to the ground.
Instinctively, she turned her head and saw Naye standing fiercely before her. Then Guzi stepped out from behind her, glaring angrily and pointing at Hu Shen's nose, shouting, "You really are just like your mother—evil! You tricked us, deliberately sent us away, and even made someone fall ill. You Zhongyuan people are all wicked!"
With that, she lunged forward.
Hu Shen quickly dodged, clutching the stone mortar tightly, afraid of wasting the medicine.
Out of the corner of her eye, she seemed to catch sight of a figure. Instinctively, she glanced toward the tent and saw Xie Xixiao, who had somehow gotten out of bed and was now standing by the tent flap, his dark eyes fixed intently on her—
Author's Note:
Xie Xixiao: Today's humiliation, I will repay it all. In the future, I will also wipe you down just as openly!
Hu Shen: ? That doesn't seem right…