Go Igyeol nodded and rubbed at his sleepy eyes. Hunger was easier to endure than exhaustion. Whenever he slept, the nausea disappeared, so the hours he spent asleep kept growing longer and longer. Once Seo Dohyeon left for work, there were many days when he slept through nearly the entire day. Since his condition was so poor, even going out to sell the jewelry and accessories he had secretly gathered kept getting postponed again and again.
“You get thinner every time I see you.”
“…Do I? I can’t really tell.”
“Your face is about to disappear.”
“What does that even mean?”
Go Igyeol shot back in disbelief, then found himself wishing he had checked the mirror one more time before leaving the house.
“So where are we going?”
“To eat. I’m starving.”
“To eat?”
“Want to get udon?”
At Na Seonwoo’s question, Go Igyeol nodded without hesitation.
Lately, all he had managed to eat were a few slices of apple and some bananas. He had thought fruit would at least go down easily, but even that was not true. Very few things made it past his throat.
When he had gone in for his regular prenatal checkup looking even more gaunt than he had in the earliest stages of pregnancy, the doctor had pitied him for being unable to eat because of the severe morning sickness and put him on IV fluids and nutritional supplements. She warned him it would become dangerous if he kept losing weight every day and told him to force himself to find something—anything—he could eat.
But there was nothing he wanted.
The only things that had increased lately were his craving for Seo Dohyeon’s pheromones and his desire to sleep. But because receiving pheromones inevitably led to everything that followed afterward, he had almost given up on asking for them and simply slept instead.
“So your, uh… spouse knows now?”
“Ah. Of course. He knows.”
The lie slipped out before Go Igyeol even realized it.
He knew he should not say it, but once the lie escaped, it only continued to swell beyond his control.
“He must worry a lot seeing how thin you’ve gotten.”
“…I guess so.”
“Do you get pheromones often?”
“Yeah. All the time. He gives them to me morning and night.”
His voice did not shake, but his restless fingers tangled together uncontrollably. Go Igyeol could not even look at Na Seonwoo. He kept staring out the window instead while trying to calm the violent pounding of his heart.
“You still can’t eat?”
“…Yeah. Still the same. What about you these days? Busy?”
“Classes started again, so I go to school, then the office in the afternoon. I should probably stop going in so much, but my cousin’s so busy that I keep ending up there to help.”
“Ah… it’s already that time of year?”
As quickly as each day passed, the dates changed just as fast. March was already nearly over.
Without thinking, Go Igyeol rested a hand over his stomach. It still was not noticeable from the outside, but to him, there was already a faint swell.
The two of them barely spoke while eating udon.
They had not been especially close even back in college, and now that Na Seonwoo had discovered the secret he had been hiding, the meeting felt unbearably awkward. Go Igyeol kept his head lowered over the wide bowl, practically burying his face in it as he silently slurped noodles. Then his phone vibrated, and he paused in confusion before setting down his chopsticks.
“What is it?”
“I’m getting a call. Keep eating—I’ll take it outside.”
Go Igyeol stood and immediately left the restaurant.
It was quiet enough inside that he could have answered there. Na Seonwoo’s gaze followed his retreating figure. Slowly setting down the chopsticks he had been holding the entire time, he let out a faint sigh.
The wind chime above the entrance rang softly as Go Igyeol stepped outside. He stared down at the phone vibrating insistently in his hand before finally swiping the green button.
“Hello?”
—It’s Seo Dohyeon.
“…Yes.”
“Have you eaten?”
At the sound of his voice coming through the phone, Go Igyeol swallowed dryly and nodded before realizing Seo Dohyeon could not see him.
“I ate.”
Something about his answer echoed strangely enough that Seo Dohyeon immediately asked where he was.
“I met a friend.”
“Na Seunghee’s cousin.”
“Na Seonwoo. Na Seunghee said he could leave work early today, so he contacted me and asked if I wanted to get lunch before then….”
“That worked out well. I’m meeting Na Seunghee around five anyway. If you’re free, let’s all meet together.”
He said it so casually, as though the four of them had always been meant to meet together from the start, that Go Igyeol asked back in surprise.
“Together? Why… all together?”
“You’re spending a lot of time with this friend lately, so I wanted to meet him too. I was thinking of arranging it separately, but if you’re already together, we might as well take the opportunity now. I can see what kind of person he is, and it saves time.”
“…I just came out casually, and my clothes are… and Seonwoo might already have other plans, so I should ask him first….”
“How much are you trying to impress people? You don’t need to worry about clothes. We’re meeting at five, so just eat lightly there. Did you go to that udon place again?”
The faint amusement in his voice—the tone that sounded like he already knew everything without needing to see it—made Go Igyeol hold his breath.
He could not even lie and deny it.
“…….”
“Don’t be late. I’ll send a car, so ride over.”
“Seonwoo drove here. If I ask him and he says he wants to come too… then just send me the address and we’ll go ourselves.”
“If he says he can’t make it, call me. I’ll come pick you up. See you later.”
Leaning against the wall outside, Go Igyeol closed his eyes with a groan the moment the call ended.
Sudden. Abrupt. There was no other way to describe the situation.
He exhaled slowly and decided that for now, the important thing was simply going back inside the restaurant. He needed to check whether Na Seonwoo had finished eating and ask whether he already had plans for dinner.
Please, let him already have plans after lunch.
But—
“Dinner? I’m totally free. Why?”
“…Today your cousin and Seo Dohyeon— I mean, my….”
“Ah, so my cousin’s dinner plans are with your husband?”
“…He asked if we wanted to eat together too. But if you’re uncomfortable with it….”
He had meant that Na Seonwoo did not have to come.
But Na Seonwoo looked like he had neither a reason nor the slightest desire to refuse.
“It’ll be nice if we all go together.”
“…….”
“I was curious anyway.”
“Why are you curious about him…?”
Go Igyeol picked up the water glass on the table as though his appetite had completely vanished. Anxiety spread through him slowly, like ink diffusing through water.
“Of course I’m curious. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“That’s….”
“You quit school and stopped talking to all the classmates you used to be close with. And besides, you married someone you liked. Of course I’d want to see what kind of incredible person he is.”
“It wasn’t like I deliberately cut everyone off… I think things just naturally drifted apart.”
Na Seonwoo said uncomfortable things with complete ease.
Go Igyeol scratched at his cheek with a faint sigh. When the awkward silence stretched on and Go Igyeol still did not pick up his chopsticks again, Na Seonwoo did not tell him to eat more. Instead, he stood up and casually told Go Igyeol to pay while pretending not to care.
Go Igyeol looked incredulous, yet still smiled as he handed over his card.
“But don’t you think I look kind of awful right now?”
“Who? Me?”
“No, me. I’ve met Na Seunghee before, but… not dressed like this.”
Part of him was nervous that Na Seonwoo might accidentally reveal something about the pregnancy in front of Seo Dohyeon. But at the same time, he was suddenly self-conscious about how carelessly dressed he was.
A navy sweatshirt that covered half his hands. Light-wash jeans rolled at the ankles. A beige baseball cap.
Na Seonwoo stared at the worried Go Igyeol before replying simply,
“It looks good on you.”
“Really? I don’t look weird?”
“You look like a freshman.”
“…Meaning I dressed too casually?”
“No. Meaning you look ridiculously young. Cute, too. Seunghee-hyung’s already past the age where anyone calls him cute, so he’ll probably just be jealous.”
Even after being reassured, Go Igyeol still looked uneasy. Everyone else would probably be dressed like working professionals. He felt like he alone would look out of place.
“It feels weird to go home and change now… should I just buy something to wear?”
“What are you doing, going on a blind date? It’s just Na Seunghee and your husband. Why would you buy a whole new outfit? Honestly, now I’m offended. So I’m the kind of person you can meet dressed however you want? I even confessed that I liked you, you know.”
“No, that’s not what I meant….”
“Then just go like this. I’m telling you, you look cute. It suits you perfectly. And how is a pregnant person supposed to wear uncomfortable clothes? Your body needs to be comfortable.”
Even while they were going down the stairs, Na Seonwoo kept hold of Go Igyeol’s arm in case he slipped.
“If anything, I should be the one annoyed. Who are you trying so hard to impress that you need to change clothes? Just go as you are.”
And without realizing it, he ended up saying something very similar to Seo Dohyeon.
***
The clear sky gradually clouded over as time passed, until raindrops finally began to fall.
The sudden downpour made everyone on the street hurry their steps. People dashed through the rain, splashing water from puddles in every direction.
Go Igyeol and Na Seonwoo stood trapped beneath the long awning outside the coffee shop, staring up at the sky instead of leaving.
“Seriously? It starts raining now? It doesn’t even look like it’ll stop anytime soon.”
“…Yeah. It starts the moment we’re about to leave.”
“I’ll go bring the car around. Wait here a second.”
“Why bother? Let’s just run for it together.”
Go Igyeol stretched a hand out beyond the awning to test the rain. The cool droplets wetting his palm seemed to put him in a strangely good mood. He smiled without realizing it, then looked up at the gray sky, unaware that Na Seonwoo was watching him.
“It’s really close from here. We could probably make it if we run.”
“…No. What if you slip and fall? And it’s chilly out too. If you get soaked and catch a cold, then what? You won’t even be able to take cold medicine.”
“Where are you even going to park if you bring the car around? That’ll just be another problem. Let’s just run together. I’m wearing a cap anyway.”
After hesitating at Go Igyeol’s insistence, Na Seonwoo finally pulled off the cardigan he was wearing.
Go Igyeol looked up at him in confusion. A moment ago he had been saying it was chilly, so why was he taking it off now? Especially when it was raining.
“Come on.”
“…What?”
“Put this over your head. On three, we run. Got it?”
“No, then you’ll get soaked—”
Before Go Igyeol could finish speaking, numbers were already spilling from Na Seonwoo’s lips.
“Three!”
Laughing as though this were some kind of game, he abruptly tossed the cardigan over Go Igyeol’s head and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.