Even after they returned home, Go Igyeol had to bear the full weight of Seo Dohyeon’s anger with his entire body.
From early evening until deep into the night, Seo Dohyeon kept him trapped in his arms without pause. By the time Seo Dohyeon finally released him after satisfying the last of his greed while holding the limp body against himself, Go Igyeol’s mind had already gone blank.
The skin around his eyes was rubbed raw and bright red.
Unable to even properly say he was hurting, he simply let Seo Dohyeon hold him obediently until his anger finally subsided.
At times, eyes full of resentment turned toward Seo Dohyeon.
But that was all.
Only after stepping out onto the terrace, emptying a can of beer, and smoking two cigarettes back-to-back did the turmoil inside Seo Dohyeon finally calm.
Go Igyeol had promised not to see Na Seonwoo anymore.
And if it was Go Igyeol, then he would keep that promise.
“Hah.”
Despite the forecast saying the weather had warmed, the wind was still chilly.
Seo Dohyeon remembered Go Igyeol entering the restaurant soaked from the rain.
Whenever the seasons changed, he tended to get sick.
The thought that he might catch a cold crossed Seo Dohyeon’s mind.
***
Go Igyeol’s condition had been poor for days.
Ever since the dinner with Na Seonwoo and Na Seunghee, the exhaustion from that night refused to improve. After spending days moving only between the bed, the bathroom, and the living room, Go Igyeol finally stepped outside into the yard.
The wind no longer felt as cold as before.
Standing there blankly and staring up at the sky, Go Igyeol thought about the realization he had only recently come to, bitterness quietly sinking into him.
He corrected the misunderstanding he had once held.
Seo Dohyeon did not soften simply because Go Igyeol cried.
It was only that Seo Dohyeon had happened to be in a good mood before, generous enough to indulge his requests. When he was not in a good mood, it did not matter whether Go Igyeol cried or not. Seo Dohyeon would still do whatever he wanted.
Go Igyeol had known that already.
But facing the truth directly was always miserable.
Sweeping windblown hair back from his face, he laughed bitterly.
Out of habit, his hand settled over his lower stomach.
Now it was unmistakable.
The curve had begun to show.
If he looked down at himself, it was obvious enough that at least he could clearly see it. The doctor had said his uterus was already about the size of a fist.
“……”
His hands trembled.
How much longer could he keep hiding this?
How much longer could he keep lying?
Even if he wore clothes loose enough to conceal his stomach, once they came off…
Could he avoid it?
Or would he disappear like smoke before then?
Ever since that night, the aftereffects had kept him confined to bed. But today, no matter what, he intended to go out and sell more things before coming home.
Seo Dohyeon would not be back from work for quite a while yet, so there should be plenty of time.
If Seo Dohyeon asked where he had gone, he planned to say he had visited an academy because he hated how lethargic he kept feeling lately.
Even while engraving the excuse carefully into his mind, his mood kept sinking lower and lower.
He wished he could simply turn to dust and disappear.
***
Even though he had painstakingly brought all the certificates of authenticity despite his exhaustion, the accessories sold for far less than he expected.
The diamond necklace especially.
The jewelry shop owner carefully examined the necklaces and bracelets Go Igyeol laid out before quoting a price much lower than expected.
Even Go Igyeol, who knew nothing about market prices, felt like selling them at that amount would be a loss.
The woman loudly insisted no other store in the shopping district would offer more than she was, yet she also looked anxious that Go Igyeol might walk away without selling.
“Jewelry’s always expensive when you buy it and cheap when you sell it. That’s just how it is. Not only with yours.”
“…Ah.”
“I’m telling you, I’m already offering a good price.”
When he left home, Go Igyeol had intended to visit several stores and sell everything wherever offered the best price.
But once he actually entered the jewelry shop, his legs hurt, his body felt heavy, and his determination collapsed far too easily.
“I actually have more besides this.”
“Isn’t all this wedding jewelry?”
“…No.”
“Then what? If something this valuable isn’t wedding jewelry… was it inherited?”
At the probing question, Go Igyeol removed the cap he had been wearing and quietly straightened his disheveled hair.
Unlike before, when she had enthusiastically driven down the price, now she looked more worried about potential trouble after purchasing the items.
“My husband bought them for me.”
“All of this? Something this expensive?”
At the shocked response, Go Igyeol regretted not dressing better before coming here.
Avoiding the persistent stare, he lowered his head and stayed silent for a moment while searching for a believable excuse.
Something that sounded like there was a story behind it would probably work better.
If his voice sounded depressed enough, the lie would feel more convincing.
“…Every time he got caught cheating on me, he bought me something like this. He has a lot of money. He’s older than me too.”
“Oh my goodness…”
“He cheated again this time too… I can’t even stand looking at jewelry like this anymore.”
“Men like that never change! Cheating while married to someone this young and pretty too? What a piece of trash, honestly. And older too!”
Go Igyeol had worried the story might sound overly dramatic, but she seemed to believe it completely.
Then again—
Reality was often more dramatic than fiction.
His own situation proved that well enough.
Unlike the protagonists in dramas who eventually found happiness after suffering through hardship, Go Igyeol only seemed to fall deeper and deeper into misery without ever reaching bottom.
He lifted a hand resting on his thigh and pressed lightly against his eyes.
“It’s better to separate before there are children involved. Right?”
“…That’s what I’m planning. If I ask for a divorce, I think he’ll demand all of these back, so I’m getting rid of them beforehand. I don’t want to take them with me.”
“Right, right. You’re thinking clearly. Honestly, how did you end up with a bastard like that?”
“…Money, I guess.”
The owner clapped her hands loudly in excitement, saying she knew it had to be something like that. She eagerly agreed with every word, insisting money was always the problem.
“You said you had more things too, right? Bring everything. Even if it bankrupts me, I’ll buy it all.”
“…Do you buy watches too?”
“Even if I normally don’t, I will for you. Just bring them. When are you coming back?”
“…Tomorrow.”
After hesitating briefly, Go Igyeol said he would bring more items tomorrow.
It would be less suspicious if he sold things gradually over several days, but he had no idea how the situation might change.
“I can transfer the money, right? Just sign the receipt here.”
“Yes… over there.”
Go Igyeol handed over the account number he had saved in his phone beforehand. The owner put on reading glasses and held her own phone close to her face.
When she pushed over the calculator, silently asking him to double-check the amount, Go Igyeol nodded.
After finishing the transfer with a few taps, the owner let out a refreshed sigh.
“Then I’ll see you again.”
“I’ll bring more tomorrow.”
“Right, right. Come again tomorrow.”
Go Igyeol bowed politely to the smiling owner who escorted him all the way to the door, then immediately headed toward the language academy building he had picked out beforehand.
“Hah…”
He honestly didn’t know whether what he was doing was right anymore.
After enrolling at the academy, he planned to take a cash advance using the card Seo Dohyeon had told him to use whenever he needed something.
No matter how much he spent, Seo Dohyeon probably would not notice anyway. Maybe he should withdraw a large amount all at once.
Perhaps because the sunlight was strong despite the chilly wind, his brows furrowed automatically.
Letting out heavy sighs, Go Igyeol stepped into the academy building—
Then the phone in his pocket vibrated.
Without even checking who was calling, he answered immediately.
“…Hello?”
—It’s me.
“…What? Ah—uh, hello.”
The greeting came out painfully awkward.
He even bowed instinctively before belated embarrassment washed over him.
A faint laugh came through the receiver, as though Seo Dohyeon had somehow seen the whole thing.
—I thought you’d still be asleep. Looks like you went out.
“…I felt a little better today, so I just… came out for a bit.”
—What are you doing?
“I came to a language academy near the house. I was going to get information and maybe register if it looked okay. But… how did you know?”
Without realizing it, Go Igyeol looked around anxiously.
Was Seo Dohyeon watching him?
That did not seem like something he would do, but the question filled Go Igyeol’s mind anyway.
—I came home. You couldn’t even open your eyes this morning, so I thought maybe you were really sick.
“…I’ll come back right away.”
—Finish your consultation and come slowly. There’s no need to rush back on purpose.
“No, it’s okay. I can come again tomorrow, so I’ll… I’ll go back now.”
One after another came the words telling him there was no need and to come carefully.
Go Igyeol immediately stepped back out of the building he had only half entered and turned around at once.
The moment the call ended, he shoved the phone back into his pocket and started walking so fast it was almost running.
By the time he noticed, he had already reached the familiar alleyway.
The realization that home was just up ahead finally slowed his steps.
When he stopped completely, ragged breaths spilled from him.
“Haa… ha… huh. Hng…”
After wiping away the sweat beading on his forehead and resting briefly, he began walking again.
Just as the front gate came into view, his pocket vibrated once more.
Confused, Go Igyeol pulled out his phone to check—
The moment he saw Na Seonwoo’s name on the screen, the heart that had only just calmed began pounding violently enough to feel as though it might leap from his chest.
Because he remembered Seo Dohyeon’s voice from that night.
Don’t see him again.