Go Igyeol stared fixedly at the card transaction history as he stepped out of the academy building. Then he tapped the newest message that had just arrived.
Na Seonwoo.
It was a text asking where they should meet. Wanting to leave as little trace behind as possible, Go Igyeol called him instead of replying.
“Hey, where are you right now?”
“I’m almost at your place. Near the big intersection.”
“I’m outside. If you’re at the intersection, do you see the yellow coffee shop building straight ahead? I think you can wait there.”
“I see it. I’ll meet you there.”
Inside the elevator, Go Igyeol leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.
The sensation of descending felt strangely pleasant. Even his unsettled stomach calmed a little under the floating sensation of gravity giving way beneath him.
Are elevators this fast these days? Does it drop one floor every second?
Unfortunately, the ride ended too quickly.
Go Igyeol absentmindedly pressed at the area beneath his sternum inside the elevator before finally moving once the doors had fully opened on the first floor.
Maybe it was because he hadn’t been able to sell the watches, but his mood had sunk heavily.
He stared toward the yellow building visible with only a slight turn of his head and let out the sigh that had long since become a habit.
The crosswalk a few steps ahead flashed green.
If he ran, he could definitely make it across.
But Go Igyeol deliberately slowed his pace instead. The moment he stopped completely, the blinking light turned red.
He adjusted the baseball cap on his head and brushed dust off his sweatshirt.
I wonder if he’s here already.
Just as the thought crossed his mind, someone abruptly stopped beside him.
Go Igyeol instinctively stepped away, and a voice beside him exclaimed in disbelief.
When he reflexively turned his head, Na Seonwoo was looking down at him with an exaggeratedly wounded expression.
“Wow. You know that actually hurt my feelings just now, right?”
“……”
“I thought you were going to cross, and then suddenly you stop like this.”
“I just thought… the light might change while I was running.”
Go Igyeol muttered the flimsy excuse while looking genuinely puzzled.
Why is he here?
The two of them stood side by side waiting for the signal to change again. To Go Igyeol, the few minutes felt like dozens.
The moment the light finally turned green, his face brightened as he looked up at Na Seonwoo.
“Should we go?”
“…Yeah.”
“But why are you coming from this side?”
“It just happened that way. I parked over here.”
“I see.”
Go Igyeol nodded, only to startle when Na Seonwoo suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him inward.
His widened eyes lifted upward again.
“You were about to bump into someone. Watch where you’re going. Look ahead, not at the ground.”
“Ah… thanks.”
Go Igyeol awkwardly slipped his arm free and quickened his pace.
The moment they pushed through the glass doors and stepped inside, the warmth of the café mixed with the rich smell of coffee beans brushed against his nose.
I can’t even eat food, but coffee is fine?
Puzzled by himself, Go Igyeol glanced back. Na Seonwoo was also standing there with a small sound of admiration escaping him.
“What do you want to drink?”
“I’ll buy it.”
“Go grab a seat and wait. You’re getting decaf, right? A latte?”
“…I’ll have an iced Americano.”
Na Seonwoo lightly tapped his shoulder and pointed toward the window seats before heading to order only after Go Igyeol finally started moving.
Left alone at the table, Go Igyeol spent the waiting time glancing once at Na Seonwoo, once around the café, then back toward the changing traffic light outside.
By the third time the light turned green, Na Seonwoo finally returned carrying their drinks.
“Do you want anything else to eat?”
“…No.”
“It’s cold. Drink slowly.”
Go Igyeol nodded as he met Na Seonwoo’s eyes while the drink was set down in front of him.
For a while, neither of them spoke.
Go Igyeol was still trying to organize what he should say first when Na Seonwoo finally opened his mouth instead.
“What you told me before… that was all a lie, wasn’t it?”
“……”
“Does Seo Dohyeon not want the pregnancy?”
Go Igyeol stared at the condensation sliding down the untouched glass and pressed his lips together tightly.
He couldn’t answer because both were true.
“What do you want to do?”
Na Seonwoo’s voice softened.
“Can I help you? Do you need help?”
“…Who besides Seo Dohyeon could help with something like this?”
A weak laugh escaped him after the short, simple explanation.
At the end of the cautious gaze he slowly lifted sat Na Seonwoo.
As though finally making up his mind, Go Igyeol swallowed dryly and spoke.
“I want… nobody to know about this, Seonwoo. Honestly, I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation. We… we’re not really anything to each other… are we? We weren’t even close. We’re just… classmates.”
His tone was careful, but calm.
Na Seonwoo hadn’t wanted their relationship defined like this, but Go Igyeol wasn’t wrong.
Unrequited feelings remained nothing at all unless the other person accepted them.
He could understand why Go Igyeol seemed bewildered. Showing up like this with nothing but feelings of affection to justify it was pathetic and laughable.
Na Seonwoo’s expression stiffened briefly before he nodded.
“The way you draw the line so clearly… it makes me wish I’d become something to you after all, Igyeol. Maybe back in college I should’ve tried being your friend instead of just the class representative. Even if it was only as a friend… at least then I’d have the right to interfere in your life a little.”
“…What is that supposed to mean?”
“You’re right. Why would you have to explain things between you and your spouse to me? But I guess after seeing you again… eating together, getting coffee together… maybe I got the wrong idea. I started thinking we were close enough to talk about things like this. Like I had the right to.”
A misunderstanding.
His calm voice was filled with embarrassment and apology.
Na Seonwoo smiled awkwardly before continuing slowly.
“But still… call me if things get hard.”
“……”
“It might not help much… but people say two is better than one. There’s even that saying about how even a blank sheet is lighter when carried together.”
It was obvious he was trying hard not to burden him.
Go Igyeol kept his head lowered, staring at the black coffee for a long time before finally managing to look up and meet Na Seonwoo’s eyes.
“You look too lonely.”
“……”
“And fragile.”
***
Go Igyeol walked slowly up the familiar road.
He couldn’t clearly remember that they had planned to eat lunch together but ended up drinking only coffee. He couldn’t remember exactly how much he had honestly confessed to Na Seonwoo either.
He vaguely remembered the endless questions.
Whether he planned to tell Seo Dohyeon eventually.
What he intended to do from now on.
And that, for the most part, he had either avoided answering or brushed them aside.
Because his return overlapped awkwardly with Kwon Heegang’s shift ending, Go Igyeol ran into him the moment he stepped inside the house.
Holding a damp rag in one hand, Kwon Heegang immediately smiled warmly when he saw him return.
“You’re back early.”
“Ah… you haven’t left yet?”
“Not yet. There are still things to clean up.”
At the gentle voice, Go Igyeol nodded faintly and slipped on his house slippers.
“You can head home now. I’ll take care of dinner myself.”
“Um… understood. I put the sandwiches in the refrigerator, so eat them if you get hungry.”
Even after two years of marriage, Go Igyeol still remained uncomfortable around him.
Kwon Heegang simply smiled faintly and bowed his head.
Other than mentioning that dinner had already been prepared and only needed reheating, there was no further conversation.
Go Igyeol greeted him awkwardly before disappearing into the bedroom, leaving Kwon Heegang standing alone in the living room.
I wish he’d relax around me just a little.
But unlike Seo Dohyeon, Go Igyeol was difficult to approach.
Contrary to the terrible rumors Kwon Heegang had heard from coworkers at the family home, Go Igyeol was painfully cautious around everyone. He seemed uncomfortable no matter who came into the house.
There were many days when he never once emerged during Kwon Heegang’s entire shift while he cleaned and prepared food.
Even when meals were prepared specifically for him, he often refused them.
And he never asked for anything.
Kwon Heegang truly couldn’t understand why people called someone so quiet rude.
How could anyone decide whether a person had manners or not when they barely spoke at all?
The only thing Go Igyeol ever requested occasionally was something cold to eat.
Last week, hadn’t he eaten the chilled noodles surprisingly well?
Kwon Heegang remembered how a little color had finally returned to that pale face.
“He didn’t look like he’d eaten anything today either…”
The sight of Go Igyeol crossing the living room thin and weak flickered before his eyes.
Maybe he’d eat if I made it again…
Even as the thought crossed his mind, it felt presumptuous to act on it.
Just then, the bedroom door opened slightly, and Go Igyeol peeked his head out.
“…Um.”
His exposed face was bright red.
Wondering what on earth he was trying so hard to say, Kwon Heegang stepped closer.
“Do you need something?”
“…That thing you made last week.”
“Hm? Last week… the chilled noodles?”
“…That. That…”
Watching him swallow nervously, Kwon Heegang spoke first.
“Would you like me to make some for you?”
“…But it’s almost time for you to get off work.”
“It won’t take long. Just wait a little.”