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Everyone here is kind. His Majesty. Prince Curtis. Even the servants.
That’s why I’m scared. I don’t want to go back to the way things were.
I didn’t feel anything before. But now I’m afraid of being alone. Sometimes I get anxious. The people here are all kind. But what if they suddenly throw me away? What if they say they don’t like me anymore? I know it’s impossible for those things to happen, but I’m still scared. I don’t know if I can trust them.
Sometimes, I sneak out of my room to relieve my anxiety. There are two guards in front of my room, so it’s impossible for me to sneak out without being noticed.
I told them not to follow me but they insisted. I have no choice but to wander around the palace with my guards guarding me. They both followed me without a word.
“Dahlia, can’t sleep?”
His Majesty, who stood in front of a window, smiled gently at me.
“You shouldn’t go out in such light clothes. You’ll feel cold.”
He put his coat over me. The guards were dismissed and he led me by the hand into his room. Before I knew it, I seemed to have arrived in front of His Majesty’s room. I didn’t notice because I was walking without thinking.
He sat me down on the sofa and asked a maid to make me some hot milk.
“Drink it. It’ll warm you up.” Get faster updates on g.com.
“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
I guess I did feel cold. I felt the warmth of the milk spreading through my body.
“You don’t look like you’ve slept much.”
I guess His Majesty had heard about my occasional wanderings in the middle of the night.
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, no. I’m not mad. I’m just worried about you.”
“Worried?”
I didn’t understand why he was worried. It’s none of His Majesty’s business how I sleep.
“Is there something troubling you?”
When I heard his question, I suddenly was overcome by a vague feeling of anxiety. But I felt uncomfortable talking about it, because it’s like saying that I don’t trust them.
I’m sure that there’s a part of me that doesn’t trust them that’s why I get anxious.
“It doesn’t matter what your troubles are, you can call me anytime and tell me anything. Even if I can’t solve them, you’ll feel better if you tell someone. If you can’t tell me, then sharing it with your lady-in-waiting, Bridgette, will be fine too. I think you’ll be more comfortable with that.”
His Majesty showed his concern when I didn’t answer him. So I decided to tell him.
His Majesty listened to my words without saying a word.
“You’re all so kind to me, and for that, I’m thankful. But what if your kindness stops? I know that won’t happen, but what if one day, I suddenly go back to my old life? I think I wouldn’t be able to handle it like I did before.”
I’m afraid to trust them, and to lose them. I’m not strong enough. I’m so scared.
“Dahlia, you can’t blame yourself for feeling this way. You’ve been robbed your whole life. We don’t expect you to trust us right away. But please…”
I stared at His Majesty because I was surprised to hear a king saying ‘please’.
“…don’t keep all these problems to yourself. I’m so glad that you told me.”
“Okay.”
For some reason, His Majesty suggested that I sleep beside him that day. I should have said no, but His Majesty’s smile pushed me over the edge.
In the morning, when the head maid came to wake up His Majesty, she scolded him. Prince Curtis, who heard the commotion, forced me to sleep with him the next night.
He said, “You sleep beside my father, so it’s okay if you sleep with me too right?”
I had no choice but to nod.
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