“How long has your friend been experiencing this?”
“As far as I know, it has happened twice in the past two months.”
He Yun raised his head to glance at the scrolling flight display screen at Heathrow Airport, and continued speaking into the phone, “Yes, it is as if they are swept away by a vortex, having no memory of the things they have done or said.”
“You know, without having a face-to-face, in-depth…”
“Just tell it to me straight.”
He Yun bent forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his fingertips tightening involuntarily.
“SIA: Stress-Induced Amnesia, or RDD…” The voice on the other end paused for a fraction of a second, “…Reactive Dissociative Disorder.”
Stress-Induced Amnesia.
Reactive Dissociative Disorder.
He Yun straightened up. What he saw before his eyes shifted from Heathrow to an airplane cabin seat, then to the crowded crowds of Manaus, and finally to Si Yu.
“I was worried about you.”
He Yun hugged Si Yu tightly.
Yet in his mind, the words kept replaying:
“Low mood, sleep disturbance, interacting with auditory hallucinations of objects, stress-induced amnesia. He Yun, your friend’s condition is very poor. It is recommended that he find a psychologist for further diagnosis.”
He Yun closed his eyes, loosened his embrace, and looked at Si Yu.
He asked, “Are you happy?”
“Happy!” Si Yu smiled. “I’m so happy to see you!”
What I meant to ask was, are you living a happy life?
“Yeah.” He Yun nodded. “Me too.”
Si Yu felt as though He Yun still had something left unsaid.
However, all his concerns were quickly swept away by the speeding Kawasaki H2.
Looking through his helmet’s visor at He Yun’s back, Si Yu wrapped his arms tightly around his waist.
“It feels like we’re eloping.”
Even with the roaring wind and engine noise, He Yun still heard him clearly.
“It really does look like it, if I had met you sooner.” He Yun accelerated. “But not anymore.”
Si Yu burst into laughter, leaning back and spreading his arms wide to embrace the freest wind in South America.
The boldness and unrestraint of South America seemed like something one could never associate with He Yun, yet He Yun’s familiarity with the place completely exceeded Si Yu’s imagination.
“What were you chattering on about?”
“Neither the owner nor the staff of this shop speak English, but their juice is really good. Wait for me.”
The tampaque Si Yu had just eaten was the most delicious fish he had ever tasted in his life.
Therefore, even though He Yun didn’t take him to drink the long-coveted Caipirinha, he accepted it gladly.
Everything was wonderful, save for the men and women who kept coming over to hit on them.
When He Yun returned holding the juices, Si Yu had just managed to shake off one admirer.
Unwilling to give up, the persistent man shot a grinning remark at He Yun, who had just sat down opposite Si Yu.
Si Yu listened as He Yun started chattering away in a foreign language again. As soon as he finished speaking, the man’s expression turned extremely unsightly.
Following that, the man grabbed a chair, but before he could lift it high, the owner next to them walked out.
More chattering that Si Yu couldn’t understand.
The expression on the man’s face turned dramatic, showing surprise, annoyance, and resentment, before he finally slunk away in defeat.
“What on earth were you guys talking about just now?”
“Talking about you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah.” He Yun glanced at him. “Saying you’re really troublesome.”
Si Yu raised an eyebrow, picked up the straw, tore open one end, and put it in his mouth.
“Are you jealous?”
“…”
He Yun picked off the red straw wrapper that had blown onto him and said nothing.
“He Yun.” Si Yu used He Yun’s spoon to take a bite of ice cream mixed with purple-red açaí berry paste. “You’re pretty troublesome yourself.”
The two troublemakers stared at each other, neither looking away.
“Haven’t you already communicated with that tribe? Why is it still such a hassle?!”
The floor manager was tearing his hair out in anxiety, pulling the translator aside and telling him to communicate with the staff again.
“Chen, it really won’t work!” The translator was getting anxious too. “The chieftain has passed away, and the tribe is truly unwilling to accept us going in again.”
“Then what are we supposed to do? This is the pivotal scene where the protagonist cracks the mystery! Are you telling me to change it so that Si Yu has to soak in the water to fight three hundred rounds with a crocodile, and then fish the key prop out of its belly?!”
Si Yu: That actually sounds pretty cool.
Crocodile: …
“I might be able to help.”
He Yun said.
Not just Si Yu, but the entire crew on the boat froze in astonishment.
“You?” The floor manager walked up to He Yun, lifting his chin as he sized him up. “Who the hell are you?”
“This is Teacher Si’s assistant.”
Someone behind them whispered.
The floor manager glanced at Si Yu, reigning in a bit of the disdain in his eyes, though his tone still wasn’t much better.
“How are you going to help? Are you going to talk to the tribe about a scientific worldview and ditching feudal superstitions?”
As if he hadn’t caught the sarcasm, He Yun kept his expression calm. “I know the chieftain of another tribe. I can communicate with him and see if filming can take place there.”
As soon as those words left his mouth, the boat erupted in chaos.
“Really? These primitive tribes don’t contact the outside world at all! We spent a huge amount of effort just to negotiate with one.”
“Exactly, talking about knowing a tribal chieftain? Why not just say you know the US president?”
“He already said he could try communicating first, why not just let him give it a try?”
“Try? How much time do we have left to waste? Try…”
“Aren’t we wasting time right now anyway?”
Si Yu’s voice rang out, and the crowd tacitly cleared a path as he walked into the middle of the group.
“Yes, yes, Teacher Si makes a valid point.”
Too lazy to bother with him, Si Yu looked at He Yun: “Go make the connection. If you succeed, I’ll give you a bonus.”
The corners of He Yun’s mouth curved up slightly: “Thank you, Teacher Si.”
Three hours later, with his face painted in red designs and a feathered cap on his head, Si Yu stared down at the fat grubs wriggling on a banana leaf and sank into deep contemplation.
Si Yu: “I’d rather go bare-handed wrestle a crocodile.”
He Yun: “Eat up, and once you’re done, go act well.”
Suppressing a smile, the latter walked up to the chieftain, raised his right hand to gently touch his own chin, and then tapped his forehead to express gratitude.
There were many surprises hidden in He Yun, all waiting for Si Yu to discover.
“I get the logic, but where on earth did you get this helicopter?”
“A friend’s.”
Si Yu picked up a glass cup stamped with a yellow-and-green flag and asked seriously, “Is your friend the President of Brazil?”
“Of course not.” He Yun lightly tapped his head. “Look out the window.”
Si Yu turned his head to look. Below were the red-and-white tiled city roofs of Manaus, which didn’t seem particularly special at all.
“Now look over here.”
Half-doubtful, Si Yu followed the direction of He Yun’s finger and shifted to the other side.
“It’s just rainforest, though seen from high altitude, it really is more vibrant, glowing with green.”
There really wasn’t anything special about it.
He Yun stood up and sat down beside Si Yu: “Don’t blink.”
Suddenly, the helicopter banked sideways.
Just as He Yun pulled Si Yu into his arms, the ocean of green before his eyes seemed to be sliced open by a handmade knife.
At the other end of the straight white wound lay the red-and-white streetscape of Manaus that Si Yu had just seen.
“This is the boundary between the Amazon rainforest and the edge of the city of Manaus.”
He Yun’s voice came through the headset accompanied by a faint crackle of static electricity.
“They intersect here yet are separated by the asphalt road, like hunters unwilling to yield, capturing each other.”
Si Yu looked at He Yun, who had been watching him the entire time.
“Some people look at the imprisoned rainforest from the ground and curse human selfishness. But when they stand here, they realize…”
He Yun suddenly cut himself off.
“Realize what?”
Realize that perhaps it is willing.
He Yun didn’t answer, merely looking at him.
“Si Yu.”
“Hmm?”
“Are you happy?”
“Yeah, with you by my side, I’m very happy.”
The distance between them had long since crossed the line.
“He Yun.”
“Hmm.”
Si Yu looked at him without saying a word, yet He Yun seemed to understand everything.
He said, “Okay, I promise you.”
He Yun delivered.
Whenever Si Yu needed him, He Yun would appear by his side.
“It’s so hot, where on earth are we going?”
This time he wasn’t pretending; Si Yu was genuinely exhausted.
“From Inverness to Jersey, I’ve explored this little patch of British land better than the SKP!”
He Yun walked over, pulled out a tissue to wipe the sweat from Si Yu’s forehead, and casually unzipped his white sun-protective jacket.
“It’s your birthday, I’m taking you somewhere special.”
It was July.
Over the past half year, they had traveled through countless places.
In the London Botanical Garden, searching for Easter ugly eggs painted with each other’s ugly doodles;
At the Dublin festival, pinning St. Patrick’s Day shamrocks on each other;
In the Scottish Highlands, buying handmade whisky kilts and drinking while wearing kilts.
Countless late-night gazes, entangled fingertips, and pressed chests, but He Yun still hadn’t confessed!
“He Yun, you are really hard to chase.”
“Then this time, I’ll give you a ten-meter head start.”
“Deal!”
As soon as the words left his mouth, He Yun watched Si Yu plunge straight down without a moment’s hesitation.
Down the hundred-meter-long green grass slope, Si Yu looked like a small white kitten, the kind that does forward rolls.
“He Yun!”
After rolling three times down the grass, Si Yu complained, “This slope is too steep, it doesn’t count! We’ll race again next time!”
He Yun rubbed his arm and nodded repeatedly.
“How much longer do we have to walk?”
“We’re here.”
Si Yu stared blankly at the majestic estate standing amidst the rolling green fields.
Taking advantage of his daze, He Yun had already walked over to the ticket booth.
“Hi there, two for…”
“I’ll pay!”
Si Yu pressed down on He Yun’s hand.
He tried his utmost to control his fingers, not wanting them to tremble too obviously.
Not noticing anything unusual, He Yun smiled and said, “It’s not expensive, just…”
“I don’t want you to have to buy a ticket just to come home.”
Hearing this, the person who froze was He Yun.
Si Yu had even imagined that He Yun might take him to register their marriage, but he never expected He Yun to bring him here.
“Why does this ground feel a bit uneven?”
Si Yu stepped on the lawn beneath his feet.
“Oh, there used to be a football goalpost here, but it was taken down.”
“Was something tied here?”
Si Yu pointed at the wear-and-tear marks on the oak tree branch.
“Yeah, there used to be a swing here. My parents told me that when I was little, I would only laugh under similar stimuli, so there were swings in a lot of places around here.”
“Why isn’t this allowed?”
Si Yu pointed to the staircase blocked off by a black barrier tape.
He Yun unclipped the barrier tape and looked at him: “Why don’t we go inside and see?”
“Tsk tsk tsk!” Si Yu looked disgusted. “As expected of returning to your own home, you break the law and violate rules without even a blush on your face, huh?”
He Yun shrugged, walking backward up the stairs.
“Coming?”
“Race you?”
The two stood on the same step, looking up at the spiral wooden stairs of the tower.
He Yun: “3.”
Si Yu: “1!”
He Yun: .
“Ha, ha. Wait, it’s locked!” Si Yu leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. “What now?”
He Yun walked to the end, stood slightly on tiptoe, and pushed open a loose wooden panel overhead.
Clink!
A brass key dropped to the ground.
Si Yu took it from He Yun’s hand, stroking the cutout lilies on the key handle.
“It’s carved all over your family’s keys, handkerchiefs, and cuffs, why isn’t it planted in the estate?”
“There used to be some, but they were pulled out.”
The calmer He Yun sounded, the more heartache Si Yu felt.
“Hurry up and open the door, there are treasures inside.”
“Really?” Si Yu put on an expectant expression to humor him. “Antique paintings? Medieval jewels? Ancestral storeroom?!”
Unable to hold back any longer, He Yun clutched his legs and burst into laughter.
“Yep, a storeroom.”
Furious, Si Yu turned around and walked away.
“Hey!” He Yun grabbed him. “Wait for me.”
Si Yu crossed his arms, watching He Yun burrowing deep into the pile of old tables and chairs like a groundhog.
“If you hauled this pile of stuff to the Portobello Market, nobody would…”
Si Yu’s tongue was stolen by a cat, as He Yun was holding a ring in his hand.
He watched as He Yun used his shirt hem to meticulously wipe the ring clean, then slowly walked toward him.
“Happy birthday.”
He Yun held up the ring.
Si Yu was very familiar with this ring because it was identical to the one He Yun wore on his index finger.
It looked like an ordinary plain silver band, and only when taken off and looked at up close could one see the lilies carved on it, as well as the ancient Latin inscribed on the inner band.
Si Yu had once asked He Yun what was written there, but he had always kept mum about it.
Right now, Si Yu didn’t care to ask; he just wanted to reach out his hand.
Yet the moment his fingers touched the ring, He Yun pulled his hand back.
“You!”
“Who accepts a ring like that?”
He Yun picked up Si Yu’s hand and slowly slid the ring onto his middle finger.
A corner of Si Yu’s heart softened.
Immediately after, his gaze shifted to He Yun’s index finger.
“But the one you’re wearing…”
He Yun took it off and, repeating the exact same motion, moved his own ring to his middle finger as well.
“Si Yu.”
Si Yu’s heart beat wildly.
“I…”
“I just saw someone coming up!”
“Who’s there?!”
Si Yu was pulled by He Yun to hide inside the secret door on the right side of the attic.
A cramped, dark, and dusty secret room, yet hiding two men harboring bright, blazing love.
They exchanged breaths.
“Si Yu.”
“I know.”
In the dark, He Yun’s hand brushed against Si Yu’s hair.
“Even if you know, I still have to say it.”
He Yun’s hand slid down to Si Yu’s cheek, drawing him closer.
“But I don’t want to hear it right now.”
He Yun froze in place.
Si Yu chuckled softly. “Now isn’t a good time for a confession, it’s only a good time for one thing.”
“What?”
The next second, Si Yu brushed his lips against the corner of He Yun’s mouth.
“Kiss me.”
Si Yu thought He Yun would hesitate, but he didn’t.
He Yun lowered his head, kissing him so gently, outlining with the tip of his tongue; once his lips grew moist, he pressed close again, kissing him again and again until they turned dry once more.
Six years later in Jiangcheng.
He Yun had countless moments when he wanted to kiss Si Yu, whether in the attic hidden room in London or in the Jiangcheng villa at this very moment.
All patience and restraint were crushed by the overwhelming tide of love; powerless to resist, He Yun could only abandon himself to kissing Si Yu without restraint.
“He Yun, I miss you so much.”
Si Yu was kissed breathless, yet he still managed to catch a brief pause between their lips and teeth, crying out those words.
“Why, why are you treating me this way? Why on earth, why on earth did we break up?”
The force holding him vanished, and Si Yu grabbed tightly onto the retreating arm.
“Don’t go, He Yun, don’t go…”
“It’s okay, you’ll forget by tomorrow.”
“I won’t, I won’t! He Yun, don’t go!”
A teardrop that didn’t belong to him fell onto Si Yu’s tear-stained cheek.
“Baby, you have to forget these words too…”
Si Yu wanted to shake his head, but he couldn’t move.
“Si Yu, I love you, I really love you.”
Moonlight bathed Jiangcheng.
Through a blur of tears, Si Yu looked at the person right before his eyes, growing increasingly indistinct.
He shed a tear, silently, wordlessly forgetting those words.
“XX, XXX, XXXXX.”