It must have been that my movement was too sudden; the waiter who was bending down to pour the wine froze, looking up at me blankly.
I looked at him seriously for a few minutes in that position before finally withdrawing my hand.
“Sorry.”
I was going crazy. I had actually reached the point where I missed Mo An so much that even seeing someone whose eyes and brows slightly resembled his made me think it was him.
Mo An wasn’t like this; the few times we met, he always gave off a cold vibe.
He wouldn’t be so panicked just because of a small gesture like mine.
The man bit his lip, then continued to bend down to fill our glasses before heading out.
At that time, I was immersed in my own tipsiness and my conflicted feelings for Mo An, so I didn’t have time to notice the searching look in Da Peng’s eyes after he saw my abnormality.
The endless revelry continued to unfold. Later, after Da Peng had too much to drink, he put his arm around my neck and said in a mushy voice:
“Brother, it wasn’t easy for you to finally come back, and now you have to leave again. I was originally waiting for you to return to the country so the two of us could run wild together.”
Humans are not plants or trees; how can one be without feelings?
Although the things Da Peng did were unreliable year-round, it was rare to have a close brother by my side to talk to, and I was also loath to part with him.
I didn’t push his hand away and drank a few glasses with him.
After a few glasses, I was about to get up to go out for a smoke.
Da Peng grabbed my hand, made me sit back in my original place, and then leaned in to whisper in my ear:
“Brother, tonight is our last night. Let’s not go home until we’re drunk.”
I originally didn’t really want to deal with this man who was already speaking with a thick tongue from the alcohol.
What do you mean “the last night”? It sounded so much like a life-and-death parting, or a breakup scene for people having an affair.
However, turning my head to see Da Peng’s eyes turning red as he looked at me excitedly, the words of refusal somehow wouldn’t come out.
So I spoke up, meanwhile straightening his body to help him sit better on the sofa. My words carried a bit of a coaxing tone. Yes, I was coaxing this drunk idiot of a youth.
“Alright, alright, alright. Not until we’re drunk.”
Da Peng forced himself up, picked up his and my wine glasses from the table, filled them up, and then leaned over to say quietly:
“Keep having fun. I’ve already booked the room; someone will come to pick us up later.”
After one glass, Da Peng put down his cup quite heroically, then ran over to pick a song. He sat at the stand mic and tapped the microphone.
“Today, I’m going to perform a song for my brother. Everyone, please welcome him with applause.”
Well, he was happy enough introducing himself, but everyone around was stunned.
Everyone knew that Da Peng’s singing was just as bizarre as his life; opening his mouth was a disaster.
And he himself was very self-aware; usually when we went out to play, he would sit quietly and listen to others sing.
Today, I don’t know which nerve was misfiring.
I didn’t want to take the blame for him. What do you mean “for my brother”?
I couldn’t bear that weight…
As soon as the music intro started, looking at Da Peng’s serious expression and hearing his slightly sobbing voice, my eyes also started to sting.
I realized then that Da Peng came here today specifically to be sentimental whatever would move people, he would do.
Even though Da Peng was shouting at the top of his lungs with that tone-deaf voice—no, it should be said he was howling Wu Qilong’s “I Wish You a Pleasant Journey”—my eyes still inevitably felt sore.
I thought to myself: Forget it, I’ll be nicer to Da Peng in the future.
My mother left early, and he was a child who “had a mother but it was as if he didn’t.” Two children without a mother’s love should hold each other for warmth.
I didn’t expect that the decision I had just made in my heart would be swallowed back into my stomach the moment I was sent to bed by Da Peng’s driver, Xiao Gao.
At that time, my stomach was already feeling very uncomfortable. The group of people invited today had taken turns force-feeding me drinks.
It was as if they wouldn’t stop until they had knocked me flat.
So later I got wasted; waiting for someone to take me away so I could have a good sleep.
When Xiao Gao placed me onto that soft, fluffy hotel bed, I turned over comfortably, preparing to go straight to sleep.
When I heard the “creak” of the door closing, I completely let down my guard. It was at this moment that I felt the warmth of a person’s palm on my stomach.
Even though I was groggy right now, I immediately realized I was being touched.
Ignoring the headache or whatever else, I threw off the quilt Xiao Gao had just covered me with and sat up from the bed.
When I saw a man lying naked next to me, I couldn’t help but swear: “Fuck.”
After saying that, I started to rub my head. Was I already dreaming?
At this moment, the man spoke: “Young Master You…”
At this moment, in this scene, this voice gave me goosebumps all over.
“Shut up. What’s going on?”
My head throbbed. I thought to myself: What kind of bad luck have I run into lately to encounter something like this?
Likely because my voice was too cold, the other party didn’t speak immediately.
When my head stopped hurting so much, I looked up and was instantly stunned.
This person was the waiter who was just pouring wine…
I immediately remembered the subtle look Da Peng gave me just now when I was being helped away by Xiao Gao.
In my heart, I had a guess about this scenario.
Looking at the way he was shaking slightly while naked on the bed, I knew in my heart that I had just scared him.
Da Peng always said that the way I pulled a long face and didn’t speak was quite terrifying.
So since childhood, he was the only “heaven-shaking, earth-moving” brother who could tolerate me.
I had always thought he was boasting about himself, but thinking about it now, the credibility was quite high. I hadn’t even done anything and the other party was already scared to death.
So, I softened my attitude and was much gentler when I spoke.
“Da Peng sent you here?”
When the other party looked at me blankly, I realized he probably didn’t know who “Da Peng” was in my mouth.
“Liu Quandong sent you here?”
The other party immediately nodded.
Knowing it was something my own brother had cooked up, the irritation in my heart dissipated a bit.
I let down my guard and then leaned against the headboard looking at him.
The eyes were quite similar to Mo An’s, but the overall state of the person was too different.
The temperament was too different. Mo An was cold, proud, and inviolable; the submissive way this young boy in front of me acted gave off a feeling of being weak and easily bullied.
“Young Master You?”
I immediately regained my senses, realizing I had just thought of Mo An again.
Looking at how he sat uneasily beside me like a poor little thing, a trace of pity arose in my heart for him because of my brother’s good intentions and those similar eyes.
I pulled the scattered quilt over to cover him.
Then I asked him his name.
He said his name was Xiao Ke.
I was still thinking that this boy was named Xiao Ke when he had already quietly leaned over.
I realized his movement and knew roughly what he was going to do, so I just watched to see how far he would go.
Xiao Ke’s well-behaved appearance didn’t look like someone who played around outside often.
The distance between us got closer and closer; I could even feel his breath.
When he was close, I knew he had already showered; the clean scent carried the fragrance of body wash.
Then I allowed him to press against my lips.
Xiao Ke’s lips were very soft; they were gentle when they pressed against mine, with tentative movements.
With a sudden burst of intensity, I pinned him down beneath me.
Then I kissed him crazily.
At that moment, I also really wanted to know if I could do those things with another boy.
I even thought crazily: Why not just forget it?
Mo An was just someone I’d met a few times and then rolled in the sheets with for no reason.
I looked forward to my body having a reaction.
But facts proved that often the things you try hardest to achieve go against your wishes.
Xiao Ke (Mo An) saw me dazed for a moment, then he slowly slid into the quilt.
Just as he was about to open his mouth, looking at those lowered eyes, I instantly cleared my head.
I pulled him up and said “Sorry” to him.
I don’t like men; it’s not like I can do it with just anyone, and I can’t treat myself or others so cheaply.
Xiao Ke looked quite frustrated at my expression, then spoke.
“Young Master You, is it because I did something poorly? I have no experience.”
“No…”
“But, but, Young Master Liu told me to serve you well.”
Looking at his poor little appearance, I reached out and patted his head.
“No need. You can go now.”
Likely my attitude gave him courage, as he thought for a moment before saying quietly:
“I’ve already, already taken the money…”
Likely mentioning this was also quite embarrassing, as he lowered his head and spoke quickly.
“Sorry, I can’t return it to him. I really need this money.”
Looking at his “about to cry” appearance, I sighed. I didn’t ask him specifically what reason led him to take the money even though he knew it wasn’t right.
After all, my intersection with him was only for tonight; I didn’t want to invest too much attention in a passerby.
I thought about it, then pulled him into my arms.
Then I closed my eyes and said, “Alright, let’s just leave it at this.”
Tonight, when I especially missed Mo An, I really didn’t want to fall asleep alone and lonely…
The next day, when Da Peng’s sleazy voice came from the doorway, I immediately flipped out of bed. Looking at Xiao Ke who got up following my movement, my “rising temper” reached a peak.
I said to him, “You get up.”
Then I turned around, preparing to catch the wingless Da Peng to roast his meat.
As soon as the door opened, Da Peng immediately tried to scurry inside.
I grabbed his ear; he didn’t even get a chance to cry out in surprise before I had already dragged him outside.
The morning fight between brothers began, accompanied by the dialogue between Da Peng and me.
“Did you have a good time?”
“Get lost…”
“Really, did you have a good time?”
“Didn’t sleep with him.” The taste of gritting one’s teeth.
“Is it possible you’re just not ‘capable’?”
“Get lost…”
“Ah, I was wrong, Brother You. Next time I’ll send you a beautiful girl.”
“Go to hell, you.”
…
Until my father’s bodyguards took me away, my mood was pleasant.
I don’t know if it was the temporary companionship of Xiao Ke last night that gave me comfort, or if it was Da Peng’s chaotic fooling around that gave me some solace.
I set off just like that, with countless uncertainties about the future and a little bit of expectation.
No one knew that Mo An and I would actually meet just like that, under circumstances I completely hadn’t expected.