Jiang He: ?
Everyone almost thought they were hallucinating.
Just like that, she agreed? Was this still the same Jiang Hua who had been spilling secrets and kicking down doors just moments ago?!
“You’re not going to poison it, are you?” Ke Wenjun asked warily.
“What a special request. I’ll do my best to accommodate it,” Jiang Hua said with a nod.
That single sentence left Ke Wenjun speechless.
Seeing everyone turn their attention back to Jiang Hua, Jiang He grew displeased and immediately went to help as an assistant—a move that once again earned unanimous praise from the audience.
Meanwhile, Jiang Hua cooked at an unhurried pace.
Her slender hands moved gracefully through the air, the scene so beautiful it didn’t look like cooking—it looked like she was crafting some exquisite work of art.
[Honestly, if Jiang Hua weren’t so annoying, she’d still be, um…]
[No need to cook anymore, I’m already full. First time in my life I’ve truly understood what “feast for the eyes” means]
[Everyone, hold on! This is definitely Jiang Hua’s scheme! She’s just trying to use that face to make a comeback!]
[Person above, maybe hide your bookmarks first—ten recent saves, eight of them are gifs of Jiang Hua’s beauty]
“Want some help?” Fu Ran approached Jiang He, his voice smooth as water, even adding a bit of vocal fry.
Jiang He stiffened. “No need, I can do it myself!”
She quickly dodged Fu Ran’s hand and hurried away.
In an instant, only Jiang Hua and Fu Ran remained in the kitchen area.
The atmosphere froze.
Fu Ran looked Jiang Hua up and down.
Suddenly, he picked up the two packets of sugar prepared by the production team.
“Look at these two packets. One is white sugar, one is artificial sweetener.” His gaze was dark as he enunciated every word. “Artificial sweetener may look like sugar, but it isn’t sugar. It doesn’t have sugar’s taste, sugar’s appearance, sugar’s texture—it merely thinks it’s sugar. So the genuine article is the genuine article. And me? I love the genuine article—what do you say, Jiang Hua?”
Jiang Hua glanced at him in passing. “Got it.”
Then, under Fu Ran’s shocked gaze, she tore open the genuine white sugar and—with a swift motion—poured the entire packet into Fu Ran’s noodles.
“If you like it, eat more.” She ruffled his hair, completely ruining the styled look. “It’s not like we can’t afford it, you greedy little thing. Don’t say such pathetic things next time.”
She walked away.
Leaving behind a room of dead silence.
[No wait, I thought I just couldn’t hold in my pee, turns out I can’t hold in my laughter either HAHAHAHA]
[Amazing, that’s some supreme obliviousness. The entertainment industry is saved!]
[I get it now. Jiang Hua must have some mastermind coaching her behind the scenes for this variety show—time for a whitewash~]
[I think Fu Ran is kind of scary. I felt it back when he was on a show with Hehe—major yandere vibes…]
Fu Ran’s expression turned ugly, his eyes growing cold as he stared in the direction Jiang Hua had left.
Six bowls of egg noodles were placed on the table one after another, and everyone took their seats.
Jiang He picked up her chopsticks, grabbed the poached egg from her own bowl, and moved to place it in Xie Jiumian’s bowl.
“Xie Jiumian,” she called out, sweet but not affected. “The noodles Jiang Hua made are too plain. Have my egg too.”
Before her chopsticks could arrive, Xie Jiumian pulled his bowl back.
“No thanks. I don’t like tea eggs.”
Jiang He froze. “This is a poached egg, not—”
She suddenly stopped, her expression shifting.
[Royal Translator: It tastes like tea]
[Damn, is this season this spicy? This couple doesn’t seem very peaceful either!]
[Peaceful isn’t the word—they’re just not close]
【The person upstairs got it right. Blind guess: they broke up ages ago and are just here to farm clout—or they were never even together!】
Jiang He took a deep breath, looking wronged. “I… I just noticed the noodles Jiang Hua made today weren’t up to her usual standard…”
“You didn’t even take a bite. How would you know it’s not up to standard?” Jiang Hua interrupted, resting her chin on her hand. “Try it.”
How good could plain noodles possibly be?
Jiang He pouted, but still picked up her chopsticks and lifted the bowl, taking a slurp. Out of habit, she started laying it on thick.
“Mm, it’s delicious! Everyone, eat up! My sister is an amazing cook!”
Without even chewing, Jiang He urged the others to dig in.
But before she could say another word, a flavor that shot straight up into her skull made her spit it out.
“Blegh!”
Even that came too late.
Everyone present except Fu Ran had already eaten.
The livestream chat instantly filled with sounds of retching.
“Spicy! It’s killing me!”
Meng Yue’s lips swelled up like sausages as she wailed and bolted for the kitchen.
Two streams of wasabi dripped from Jiang He’s nostrils, and Ke Wenjun’s tongue went thick in an instant.
“Was… wasabi! You… you put this much wasabi in egg noodles!”
【Abuse Value +5000】
【Abuse Value +8000】
【Abuse Value +9999】
…
Flashing numbers lit up from all directions, glowing above everyone’s heads.
Jiang Hua felt refreshed as she glanced at her progress bar.
Since joining the show, her Abuse Value was already approaching eighty thousand—one step closer to a million.
On set, of the six guests, three had collapsed in a row.
The remaining one, Xie Jiumian, ate on without changing expression.
The culprit, Jiang Hua, smiled sweetly and spread her hands. “Sorry, I’m timid. It’s my first time on a show, and my hands were shaking so much—maybe I added too much seasoning.”
【You call that ‘too much’? That’s two noodles added to a mountain of wasabi.】
【No joke, Meng Yue’s bowl of noodles was redder than my grandma’s quilt, and she still dared to take a bite.】
【I knew she was up to no good!】
【Why is Xie Jiumian still eating? Someone flip him over and check if he’s dead.】
Jiang Hua paid them no mind, happily watching the Abuse Value tick up by 2 points on her panel, then shot Xie Jiumian a sideways glance.
His bowl had a lethal dose of salt in it. Did this man have no sense of taste?
Jiang Hua looked away and set her sights on Fu Ran. “A-Ran, why aren’t you eating? There’s the real deal in here—your favorite.”
Fu Ran’s face darkened as he said nothing.
“Oh? Could it be you like the fake stuff now? That’s fine, I happen to have brought some…”
Jiang Hua pulled out a packet of artificial sweetener and made as if to tear it open.
The veins on Fu Ran’s forehead bulged. He snatched the bowl away in an instant and lowered his head to eat, denying her any chance to add more!
Fortunately, compared to everyone else’s, his bowl was merely overly salty. A few dry heaves and he was done.
Xie Jiumian, who had long since finished Jiang Hua’s “special” egg noodles at a leisurely pace, brought out another bowl from the kitchen and set it in front of her.
“I’m not eating.”
Jiang Hua pushed it back.
Her sense of taste was hypersensitive, so she had always been a picky eater.
Scallions, cilantro, chives, all kinds of blood dishes, beef, chicken, garlic—over two hundred foods, she refused to eat.
Xie Jiumian said only four words: “You’ll like this one.”
“I said I’m not—”
A mouthful of noodles on his chopsticks touched her lips.
Jiang Hua suddenly froze. Her raven-black lashes trembled, her nostrils flared, and her ears twitched.
Hm? This flavor…