Jiang Hua stood there with a flower bud on her head, wearing a flower-cocoon outfit, petals strapped to her arms, and her long straight legs a vivid green.
When she spotted Jiang He in the matching outfit, she immediately pinched her with a petal. ”Oh? Great minds think alike?”
[AHHHHH!!! One outfit, injured twice!!]
[I have to say—Jiang Hua suddenly looks pretty good]
[Standing next to each other, the difference in body proportions is glaring. Those legs of Jiang Hua’s start from her chest, don’t they?]
Jiang He’s face turned livid with rage.
With the matching outfit as a bonus, she had truly become the ugliest person on the scene!
But Jiang Hua ignored her and turned to kick the doorframe behind her.
“Brother Fu, what are you waiting for?”
Everyone whipped their heads around.
But when they saw Fu Ran walk out in a bathrobe, they couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed.
They’d thought Jiang Hua wouldn’t let Fu Ran off the hook—apparently she’d shown some mercy after all…
“Ranran, aren’t you hot dressed like that?” Jiang Hua suddenly asked, her voice gentle.
Fu Ran’s face was taut as he yanked his collar tight. “Not hot.”
“It’s blazing out. Undo it.”
“I’m not hot, I’m cold!”
Jiang Hua nodded. As she passed him, quick as lightning, she snatched a fuzzy caterpillar and flicked it straight into Fu Ran’s collar.
Fu Ran’s expression changed drastically, and his whole body shuddered.
He ripped his robe open in one swift motion!
Underneath was a flesh-colored bodysuit from head to toe, tight as the casing on a sausage, every line sharply defined, every curve impossibly eye-catching.
On the chest: simulated chest hair!
Behind: a hollowed-out bare butt!
Everything broadcastable and unbroadcastable had gathered in one place.
In the boundless silence, Jiang Hua was the first to extend her hands and applaud.
“Clap clap clap.”
“As they say, clothes make the man. Clothes make the man.”
Xie Jiumian cooperatively reached out as well. “My apologies—I didn’t realize Your Excellency possessed such breadth of chest.”
The two of them, one on each side of Fu Ran, fired off an eighty-eight-round salute with their hands.
The livestream chat was silent for a few seconds, then erupted in shrill explosions:
[Jiang Hua!!! I’m going to kill you!!]
Fu Ran’s fans stormed Weibo en masse, rolling up their sleeves for a flame war.
But when they opened the trending list, the number one topic was:
#SexyBareButt, RanranRises (exploding) (exploding) (exploding)
#ItsABodysuitWereDoomed
#PleaseBeKindToThisTwentysomethingElder
#GiveUsBackOurBornThisWayRan
[??? I don’t dare open my eyes. Please tell me I’m hallucinating]
[Phone gods, where did you send me? What kind of grudge does Jiang Hua have against Fu Ran? How could she do this to him?]
[Let out my first burst of laughter—how did I never realize Jiang Hua was this funny before hahahaha]
[Back when Jiang Hua was the mistress who broke up Jiang He and Fu Ran, Jiang He cried her eyes swollen. And people actually find the mistress funny?]
[I remember when Jiang Hua was exposed for pandering to men, leeching off her own sister, and crawling into a producer’s bed in the middle of the night—it was only discovered when Jiang He, that little angel, sent her phone in for repairs! Did everyone forget about that?]
[Waaah, Hehe covered for her back then. Who knows how much psychological pressure she was under!]
[I was about to become a Jiang Hua fan. Never mind, I’m calm now]
No one on set dared to speak for a while.
Jiang Hua leaned back with her arms crossed, her beautiful eyes angled toward the sky, where numbers were shimmering and flickering.
[Abuse Value: 145,500]
Fu Ran had just contributed 5,000, and Fu Ran’s fans had contributed a full 30,000 points. What a feast! What a feast!
With the help of the on-site staff, everyone finally managed to get the caterpillars off Fu Ran and draped a bathrobe back over him. But even standing there, to many people, Fu Ran had already been “gone” for a while.
The production team, sweating nervously, announced a new rule:
“Considering how large the beach area is, and that Teacher Fu and Teacher Jiang have trouble getting around, the show has prepared an ATV for each pair of guests. Everyone just needs to hop off and dig when you spot a treasure point.”
Director Li turned around, and three ATVs came gleefully driving up the beach.
Combined with the BGM the production team played themselves, it instantly got all the guests excited.
“I love this!” Ke Wenjun nodded repeatedly in approval.
Meng Yue smiled too. “I’ve never ridden an ATV before.”
Jiang He turned around and started with her fake-sweet barbs: “Jiejie, maybe you should let A-Ran drive instead. Have you forgotten how, right after you got your license, you insisted on driving and nearly hit someone? Don’t push yourself.”
Jiang Hua was just climbing onto the vehicle. Hearing this, she shot her a sideways glance. “I can drive. Oh right, that thing, *%￥￥&……”
Her voice got smaller and smaller until only her lips were moving.
“What?”
Jiang He stepped forward two steps to hear better.
But Jiang Hua’s lips kept moving, even quieter.
What on earth was she saying?
Jiang He took another step closer.
“Vroom—”
The ATV suddenly started, and with Jiang He’s petal accessory caught on it, took off. Jiang He could only flail her two green legs, sprinting behind.
“Hey! Hey! Jiejie, you’ve snagged my clothes!!”
Jiang Hua cranked the music to maximum—
“Wumeng Mountains stretch beyond the mountains! Moonlight spills over Xiangshui Shoal!”
“Jiejie! I said I’m still right behind y—”
“Can anyone tell me! Is the heavens calling!”
“Jiang Hua! Are you doing this on purpose—”
“Over one mountain, across a river! Through a thousand mountains and ten thousand waters, never lonely!”
“……”
Only after dragging Jiang He sprinting three hundred meters did Jiang Hua seem to suddenly notice someone behind her, stopping in surprise.
“Oh my, what’s this?” Jiang Hua craned her head to look, covering her mouth in shock. “Meimei, we grew up together, but only today did I realize how special you are.”
Panting, Jiang He heard this and couldn’t help puffing out her chest again, squeezing out some cleavage.
Jiang Hua: “Your eye boogers are golden.”
“You’re lying!” Jiang He stamped her foot in fury, then suddenly an idea struck her.
She immediately pretended to faint from anger, toppling toward Xie Jiumian.
Xie Jiumian happened to be telling Ke Wenjun, “This is the center spot. You should stand here.”
Ke Wenjun’s mouth instantly curled up. “We’re all bros! What center spot, no need to—AHH!”
He shoved the falling Jiang He away and pointed at her, yelling.
“You dead woman, you touched me!”
Jiang He froze. “I didn’t—”
“Shameless!”
He buried his head in Meng Yue’s embrace, two streams of tears sliding down from the corners of his eyes. “I’m tainted now.”
Jiang He: “……”
Everyone: “……”
[I thought the BGM earlier was loud enough, but turns out it gets even louder]
[Truly a double feature. Tonight I haven’t heard Jiang He finish a single sentence]
[Fine, starting today I hate Ke Wenjun! Bullying our Hehe!]
[So many weirdos. The production team really went through a lot, rounding you all up one by one]
[Hehe, don’t be sad. Just wait and watch Jiang Hua’s group dig zero treasure chests in five minutes—it’ll be hilarious!]
【Haven’t you all noticed? One outfit left Fu Ran completely shut down—he spent the whole time clutching the collar of his chest and never said another word!】
Jiang Hua watched, cackling with delight.
The human world—what fun!
Director Li was so absorbed in watching that he nearly forgot the show’s schedule. When he finally snapped out of it, he hurriedly cued everyone to start the competition.
The guests took their seats on the vehicles.
Jiang He theatrically wiped away a few nonexistent tears and said to Jiang Hua, “Sis, I still hope you win.”
The bullet comments erupted in another wave of praise.
But with her back to the camera, Jiang He curled her lips at Jiang Hua, revealing her true face.
A cripple and a limper—there was no way they could dig up any treasure.
Never mind anything else, just the treasure-digging segment alone would surely put them far behind everyone else!
Amid everyone’s anticipation, the competition officially began.
Ke Wenjun was the first to find a hidden treasure.
He raised the corners of his mouth and pointed at the camera. “Brothers, see that? That’s what skill looks like!”
Jiang He also found a treasure chest, and said excitedly yet shyly, “Xie Jiumian, I found one.”
Hearing no response, she pressed on. “My hands hurt so much from digging. Xie Jiumian, won’t you blow on them for me and make it bet—”
Her words cut off abruptly.
Because across from her, the man’s face, bathed in moonlight, was impossibly exquisite—so handsome it could give anyone a nosebleed. The only flaw was…
Xie Jiumian had fallen asleep sitting up!