"And so our gentle giant stands at the precipice of vulnerability. Will he leap? Will Isla catch him? Or will the thorns of deception —"
"She's going to pick him," I said as I pulled the blanket to my chin.
In the scrying mirror, Isla stood between Ronnie the Minotaur and some bland human ranger whose name I kept forgetting because he was booooring.
"She better not." Spite said. “If she picks that ranger I'm going to lose it! He hasn't done a single trust challenge without complaining; meanwhile Ronnie carried her across!”
"Ronnie is literally perfect and she doesn't deserve him." I pointed to the screen. "Oh my god, she's going to do it, she's going to pick this flavorless piece of toast over him! I’m going to be sick.”
Malice lay curled on the floor below us. "Maybe she'll surprise us," he murmured, his tone wavering.
"She won't," Spite and I replied simultaneously.
In the mirror, Isla opened her mouth and —
The door to the throne room slammed open.
Ayla walked in, carrying what looked like the entire library. Books piled high on her chest, scrolls crammed under her arms, and sheets of paper fluttering behind her. She marched across the throne room and dumped the entire pile right in front of the scrying mirror, blocking Isla's face just as she started speaking.
"Lily, we need to talk."
I leaned to the left, piles of books. I leaned to the right, more piles of books. “Move your shit, Ayla! Isla is about to pick and I swear to god if she picks the ranger I need to see it happen so I can be properly devastated!"
"Who is Isla?"
"She's making the worst decision of her life right now and you're blocking it with your nerd books! MOVE!"
Ayla reached past the pile and turned off the mirror. The light died, and Isla's face disappeared. I stared into the dark glass, seeing only my own furious reflection.
"You dick!”
“We have bigger problems than your show, Lily."
"There are NO bigger problems than Claws and Courtship right now, Ayla, Ronnie's heart is on the line —"
"We need to get you out of this tower and we need to do it yesterday."
I slumped against the chair and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know. You've mentioned it. Several times. I have the general concept down. Tower bad, freedom good, scary Covenant, blah blah blah. Contrary to what you think, the world doesn't stop turning because you're stressed out. God, you were less annoying when you had amnesia."
"Can you take ONE thing seriously?" She slapped the stack of books. "They want you dead. Dead dead, fast, soon, no more waiting around. If I can't get you out of here, there's going to be a new demon queen in that chair in a month."
I sat up. That part was new. "What do you mean?"
"Victoria gave me a deadline, Thirty days to kill the demon queen or she sends the army.”
"Victoria." I couldn't stop the twitch in my eye. "You were with Victoria?”
"She had her guards grab me off the road and —"
"Why is she grabbing you off roads in the middle of the night?" I leaned forward on the seat. "Why does she know where you ARE at night?"
"Because she thinks I'm going to kill you, Lily —"
"Are you two seeing each other now? Is that a thing?"
Ayla stared at me with her mouth wide open. "Did you hear the part about the ARMY?"
"I heard the part about late-night kidnapping dates with the queen, yeah."
"She put me in handcuffs, dude.”
"Kinky."
"LILY! We're not even dating!" She threw her hands up. "Why do you care who I talk to?"
"Excuse me?"
"You and I are not together anymore. We broke up."
"We are NOT broken up!" I rose from my seat on the throne. "We are on a break! A temporary, circumstantial break because you had amnesia and didn't know who I was! That's a pause! A pause is NOT a breakup!"
"We died, Lily!"
"And?"
"'Till death do us part!"
My hands clutched my chest as I gasped. "You BITCH. That only applies to married couples, which we're NOT because somebody couldn't fucking commit!"
"Oh my god, can we please —"
"No! No, we cannot 'please'!" My voice cracked. I hated it, but I couldn't stop now. "Why don't you want to be with me? Is it the demon thing? The horns? The tail?" I pointed at myself. "Because I thought you were INTO this! Is it the two vaginas? Because you seemed VERY interested in those earlier!"
"Lily —"
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?" I wailed. "Why don't you want to get back together? What is so terrible about being with me that you'd rather... what? Be alone? FOREVER?"
Ayla rubbed her temples and sighed. "We're terrible for each other, Lily."
"No, we're not!"
"We make each other miserable. You spent months figuring out how to torment me every time I walked through that door, and I spent months trying to KILL you."
"That's just how we ARE!" My voice kept rising. "You always said that was what you loved about us! Our dynamic, our spark, whatever you called it. You said my quirks were what made us work!"
"I said a lot of things I shouldn't have."
"So you lied to me?"
"I was trying to make it work! We both were!"
"Then let's keep making it work! We can figure it out, Ayla, we always figure it out —"
"We never figured it out. We fought, we made up, we fought again, and stayed together because neither of us had the guts to admit it wasn't working."
"That's not true!”
"Lily." Her eyes met mine. "You're a terrible girlfriend."
“What?”
"You're selfish. You're whiny. Being with you is like babysitting a kid who never says thank you and never thinks she's wrong. I have been climbing this tower, burning through books, getting kidnapped, getting thrown into walls, staying up every night for weeks trying to save your life. And not once—not a single time—have you said 'thank you, Ayla' or 'I fucked up' or 'I'm sorry' or 'I appreciate what you're doing for me.'"
"I didn’t ask you—"
"You think you're entitled to everything and you never stop to think about what it costs the person giving it to you."
I couldn't breathe. My vision was blurring and I wanted to scream at her and cry and throw something, but instead I just stood there with my fists clenched and my throat locked.
"Oh yeah, like you're such a prize." My voice trembled. "You cheated on me, Ayla. SEVERAL TIMES. You think you get to stand there and call me a terrible girlfriend when you couldn't even stay faithful?"
"I know."
"And you're so mean to me! You think you're smarter than me and you talk down to me every chance you get, like I'm some idiot who can't understand basic concepts. Do you know what that feels like? To have the person you love treat you like you're stupid every single day?"
"I know, Lily."
"You DON'T know! You have no idea what it's like to be me in this relationship! Everyone thinks you're the fun one, the cool one, the easygoing one, and I'm the bitch. But I have to be the bitch because one of us has to be the adult in the relationship!”
"You're right," she said, and I hadn't expected her to agree with me. "I'm sorry I cheated, and that I was mean to you. I know I've I talked down to you and I shouldn't have." She paused. "But Lily, if anything, this is proof that we don't belong together. We bring out the worst in each other. We always have."
I looked at her with blurry vision. "If I'm so terrible, what are you even doing here? Why not just let me die?"
"Because me not wanting to date you doesn't mean I want you to FUCKING die, Lily!" For a moment, the illusion of calmness was shattered, and her voice became hoarse. "What is wrong with you? I can care about someone and still know that being with them is a bad idea!"
"Then leave! If I'm such a burden, if I'm so exhausting, just GO! Never come back! I was fine before you remembered me and I'll be fine after! I never want to see your stupid face again!”
"No, you won't."
"Fuck you, yes, I will.”
"You won't, Lily, because there is an army coming and you can't fight it alone." She regained her composure and lowered her voice. "You've been dealt an insanely shitty hand. I get that. And I want to help you because you don't deserve to rot in this tower, and because we were friends for a long time before we ruined it by dating. So let me help you, we get you out of here, and after that we can go our separate ways. You'll never have to see me again."
The words hung in the air. Our separate ways. Afterwards... like there was an after, and in that after she would be somewhere else, living another life, and I would be... where? Doing what? Being who? The anger drained out of me and left nothing behind. Not sadness, not hurt, not even the sting of being told I was selfish and whiny and exhausting. Just empty.
"Okay," I said. "Fine. Help me. Don't help me. Do whatever you want."
She stood there for a few seconds, looking like she expected a bigger fight and didn't know what to do if one didn't happen. "I'm going to leave you some of these books." She finally said and crossed over to the pile. She started sorting, pulling volumes out and stacking them on the step under my throne. "Read through them when you get a chance. Maybe something in there triggers your demon queen memories and helps us figure out an angle."
"Sure."
"I'll go to the castle library tonight. Victoria gave me unrestricted access to the restricted archives, so if there's a loophole it might be in there."
"Cool."
"Lily —"
"I said cool, Ayla." I wasn't looking at her; I was looking in the dark, scrying mirror at my own reflection. Bloodshot eyes stared back at me. "Go do your research."
She stood there for another moment. I could feel her hovering, trying to find the right words, but there weren't any and we both knew it. Her boots echoed across the floor, and the door opened and closed. The throne room fell silent.
"Turn the show back on," I said.
Spite reached over and tapped the scrying mirror. The light reappeared. Isla was crying in the ranger's arms, while Ronnie, hunched over, walked away down a lamplit path.
"Well, that's it for our big bull. Ronnie came in here with horns, heart, and zero game plan, and unfortunately for him, Isla decided she'd rather go home with a man whose most interesting trait is that he owns a quiver. Can't make it up, folks. If you need me, I'll be processing this with a very large drink."
Hi all! Chapter 18 is now chapter 19. I typically post on RR first, and accidentally skipped a chapter when posting on SH. Apologies for any confusion.