"I will love you," the man on the scrying mirror said, his eyes glistening, his hands cradling the heroine's face, "until the stars stop burning and the seas turn to dust. Until the mountains forget their names. You are the only light I have ever known, and I will spend every remaining breath proving that I deserve —"
I threw a chocolate at the screen.
"LIAR!"
The chocolate fell from the glass and tumbled across the floor. The man on the screen kept talking, so I threw another one.
"LIAR! You'll get bored of her in two years and start 'needing space' and then you'll tell her she's SELFISH and EXHAUSTING and you never even LIKED her —" I threw three more chocolates in quick succession. One hit the hero's face, one hit the heroine's shoulder, and one missed entirely and landed in Malice's fur, where he ate it without taking his eyes off the screen.
The room was a complete mess: chocolate wrappers everywhere, half-eaten plates scattered across the bed, a blanket nest that I hadn't touched for who knows how long—maybe two or three days? My hair was tangled on one side from sleeping on it. My dress had a stain on the front that might have been gravy. I hadn't bathed. I hadn't trained. Looking at the stack of books Ayla had left made my chest hurt so much that I could barely read them.
"—And when the world ends," the man on the screen continued, pressing his forehead to hers, "I will find you in the next one. I will always find you —"
"NO, YOU WON'T!" I hurled the entire box of chocolates. "YOU'LL FORGET HER AND MOVE ON AND—"
The door to the throne room burst open, and I flinched. For a second I thought it was Ayla and my whole body went rigid. Instead, Sami strode in with freshly cut hair.
“Ayoooo!” She threw her arms out. "Miss me?"
I looked at her from under my blanket. Sami's presence would usually annoy me on principle. She was too loud and irritating, but at least she didn't make me wanna vomit. And that was one full tier above the only other person who visited me.
"Get out," I said. "I already told you, I have no use for you anymore."
"See, that's the thing." She approached without a care. "You promised me an endorsement. 'Sami the Blade Dancer is the greatest warrior I've ever faced'—your words, not mine. Ring a bell?”
"I'm busy."
"You don’t seem—"
"I said I'm BUSY."
She stopped ten feet from the throne and actually looked at me for the first time. Her eyes traveled from my matted hair to my stained clothing and to the wrapping paper graveyard on the floor. She looked horrified.
"Yeesh." She recoiled. "What the hell happened to you? Is that smell... you?"
My eyes filled with tears. I started sobbing.
Sami now seemed alarmed. She stood still for a moment, clearly debating whether to just leave, but then she crossed the remaining distance, sat on the steps and began patting my shoulder stiffly.
"There, there." Pat, pat, pat.
"She DUMPED me!" I wailed.
"Who dumped you?"
"THE MAGE!" Spite shrieked. "The evil, conniving, heartless mage came in here and DESTROYED our queen!"
"She said terrible things!" Malice, his eyes still wet from the movie, added from the floor. "Called her names! Made her cry!"
"When I see that mage again," Spite growled, "I'm going to bite her ankles so hard she'll need TWO healing potions."
"I'm going to sit on her," Malice said darkly. "She won't see me coming."
Sami rolled her eyes. “The MAGE?” Her nose wrinkled. "You're crying over HER? That woman is a mediocrity at its finest and she is not worth this level of emotional investment." She folded her arms across her chest. "She's not even cute. She's dirty! And I don't think she owns a brush. Maybe she's someone's type if you're into grubby little peasant girls that look like teenage boys."
"She was my ONLY CHANCE!" I cried even harder. "I'm going to die alone in this tower, Sami! Who wants to be with a gross demon? Nobody! I have horns and a tail and I’m a cannibal, apparently —"
"Oh, shut up." Sami said. “You're being pathetic right now. You know that, right?”
"Gee thanks, Sami, that really helps —"
"I'm not done." She held up her finger. "You are the Demon Queen. People climb a hundred floors just to get a LOOK at you, and most of them die trying. Do you understand how exclusive that makes you?"
"That's not —"
"You're hot, Lily. Like, objectively hot. There are people out there who would cut off a limb for five minutes alone with you, and you're sitting here crying over a girl who smells like she is actively decaying. Do you know how many weirdos out there are obsessed with you? You have a fan club, girl. Bigger than mine, which is kind of annoying, but whatever.”
I sniffled and wiped my nose on the blanket. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."
"Does that sound like something I would do?" She raised an eyebrow. "Trust me, there are people in this kingdom who would literally die for a piece of that demon ass. They've got petitions going around to let you out of the tower."
"...really?"
"Yes, really. You have options, is what I'm saying. Lots of them. So crying over some scruffy mage who probably doesn't even own a second pair of pants is just embarrassing for you. Like, I'm getting major secondhand embarrassment, deep in my bones. I need you to stop because it's starting to physically hurt me."
I sat up a little straighter. I wiped my face. She was right. This was embarrassing and pathetic. I didn't need Ayla or anyone else to validate me.
"Okay." I sniffled one last time and dragged myself upright. "Okay, yeah. You're right."
"Of course I'm right. This is a tough love situation and you needed someone to slap some sense into you. Figuratively. I would never actually slap you because you would probably kill me." She clapped her hands together. "Now let's get you cleaned up and looking like a queen so we can film the endorsement video. Come on! Chop chop! We're burning daylight!"
***
Sami had forced me into a bath, combed the mats from my hair, and was helping me choose an outfit for what she called "the brand deal" when the throne room door opened again. Ayla entered carrying more books. Why wouldn't she?
She stopped when she saw Sami sitting cross-legged behind me, braiding my hair, her fingers working through a section near my left horn. Ayla's eyes shifted between Sami and me, then returned to Sami before she continued walking. She made her way over to the book pile, placing her fresh stack down, and began sifting through them.
"Find anything?" Ayla asked, not taking her eyes off the books. "Any memories resurface while you were reading?"
I shook my head. As Sami continued to braid, I felt overwhelmingly thankful for her presence. I found myself wondering how I would have handled the situation if it had just been Ayla and me in this room. Screamed, probably. Or cried. Or both, back to back, like the world's worst one-woman show.
I resented her for this, for how easy it looked. Walking in, sorting books, asking about research as if she hadn't torn my chest open three days ago. As if we'd had a disagreement about dinner plans instead of the conversation that had ended us. She looked fine and I hated her for it.
I swallowed it down.
"I tried reading through them but I couldn't make sense of any of it." I kept my voice level.
"Hmm." She took a book from the stack and flipped through it. "Nothing triggered? No flashes, no deja vu, nothing familiar?"
"Nothing at all."
Sami looked up from the braid. "You know, it's rude not to say hello. Were you raised in a barn? You smell like you were." She chuckled at her own joke.
Ayla didn't bother to look up. "Hey, Sami."
"That's it? Just 'hey Sami'? I fought you last month and almost killed you and all I get is 'hey Sami'?"
"I remember those events a bit differently."
Sami opened her mouth as if to fire again. I cut her off before she could. "Um." I picked a thread on my dress. "Sami mentioned I have a fan club."
For the first time, Ayla looked up. "Yeah?"
“...Could that be useful?" I felt stupid for bringing it up. "Like, is there any chance one of them might know something you don't? About the tower, or the Covenant, or... I don't know."
Ayla stared at me. I watched the gears turning behind her eyes. "That's actually not a bad idea."
A small spark of warmth lit up in my chest. I immediately smothered it.
"A fan club for the demon queen would have to be underground, though." She was thinking aloud. "Supporting you is treason. Petitioning for your release is borderline insurrection. They'd be hidden, organized, and careful about who they let in."
"Yeah, definitely," Sami said, tying off the braid. "It's all very hush-hush."
Ayla stopped pacing and looked at her. “What do you know about it?"
“That’s hardly any of your business, mage.”
"Sami, this could be important. What do you know about the fan club?"
Sami pretended to look at her nails.
“Do you know where they meet?"
"The upper city, from what I've heard." Sami shrugged. "Don't know exactly where, though."
"Damn." Ayla ran her fingers through her hair. "The upper city is locked behind the district gates. You need a residential pass or a title to get through."
"Yuppp, locked for peasants." Sami smiled sweetly.
Ayla's eyes narrowed. "Wait, do you live in the upper city?"
"Born and raised." She buffed her nails against the fabric of her vest.
"Could you get me in?"
Sami burst into hearty laughter. "Ha! And why would I do anything for you? You fried six inches of my hair off!"
"Sami, there is an army coming in less than a month. Victoria is sending soldiers up here to —"
Sami's head shot up at the mention of the name. "Ugh, can you not bring up little miss perfect? I hate her! She acts like she's this sweet, gracious, humble queen... completely fake! I've seen her throw a tantrum because a servant folded her napkins wrong. But put her in front of a crowd and oh, suddenly she's the most generous, kindhearted ruler in history. Gag me."
Ayla seemed to be recalculating. "You know, Sami, if the demon queen gets freed through a loophole instead of killed, Victoria's entire campaign falls apart. Her champion failed, her army is useless, and she looks like she wasted the kingdom's resources on a crusade that went nowhere."
Sami's eyes lit up. “That would make her furious."
"Livid, probably."
"She'd lose her mind." Sami was now beaming. I leaned towards her, placing my hand on her arm, which caught her off guard.
"And on top of all that," I added, "if you help us, I will get every monster on this floor to appear in your endorsement video."
Sami's eyes went wide. The Victoria revenge was good. The endorsement deal on top of it sent her into orbit. I could see the thoughts racing in her head: the sponsorship opportunities, the brand deals, the influence, and the expression on Victoria's face when it all came crashing down.
"Every monster?" she asked cautiously.
"Every single one."
"With their names and titles? On camera? Saying I'm the greatest?"
"I'll have them rehearse lines if you want."
Her face split into a grin so wide that I could see her back teeth. "A full monster endorsement AND making Victoria’s life miserable? That's not a deal; that's a gift. When do we start?"