Yun Ning steadied her composure as she looked at the chubby little furry ball in Qilian’s arms, asking doubtfully, “Is this the cat you’re raising?”
She truly found it hard to believe that any good cat could have nine tails and be this fat.
Tong You raised his head and stretched his neck out to look at the food on the table, excitedly stepping on Qilian’s arm as he muttered: [Hey, hey, hey, Stinky Durian, get me one of those things on the table quickly!]
Qilian looked at Yun Ning with a gentle smile, while his hand hidden against Tong You’s body gripped the flesh on his belly as he spoke through gritted teeth: [Look at all this fat on you, and you still want to eat.]
[Damn it, stop randomly groping me!] Tong You turned his head to bite at Qilian’s hand.
“Ah!” Seeing the cat about to bite Qilian, Yun Ning startled and stood up, lifting her skirt to sit down beside him.
Seeing this, Qilian quickly withdrew the hand Tong You was gnawing on. “It’s fine, we’re just joking around,” he said, holding his hand out for Yun Ning to see.
The breath Yun Ning was holding in finally settled. She figured she must have been overthinking things; how could Qilian possibly be hurt by such a little creature, especially since it was one he raised himself?
[I wasn’t even really biting, just loosening your skin for you. Why is she getting so worked up, does she have a crush on you?] Tong You looked at Qilian. Seeing the man’s evasive gaze, he suddenly realized he might have hit the nail on the head.
He chuckled wickedly: [Oho, young man, you’ve got quite the luck! This big sister is so pretty, you might as well just give in and accept her.]
As if hitting Qilian’s sore spot, the man said coldly: [Do you not want your tongue anymore?]
Tong You: [I want it, of course I want it, but I didn’t even open my mouth to speak out loud, did I?]
Qilian: “…”
Tong You turned his head toward Yun Ning, blinking his watery eyes at her: [My, you’re pretty. Let me ask you, young man, are you actually impotent?]
“Yipe!” Before he could finish his sentence, Tong You was mercilessly kicked under the table by Qilian.
Fortunately, Tong You’s reflexes were fast. With a quick whoosh, he scrambled over to the other side of the table, placing his little furry paws on the edge as he gazed across at the two of them.
Tong You tilted his head, the long fur on his temples swaying slightly: [Bleh!]
Ouch, my rear end actually hurts a bit. Tong You lowered his furry paws, leaning against a table leg in solitary agony.
[My poor butt has to bear everything a creature of my age should never have to endure.]
Qilian couldn’t hold it in and let out a laugh.
Yun Ning asked, “What is the Lord laughing at?”
Qilian waved a hand. “Nothing. It’s just that the way he puts on an act of total innocence is rather amusing.”
Hearing Qilian’s mockery, Tong You hoisted his head back up onto the table in a flash: [I’m fine, perfectly fine!]
It smells so good. Tong You licked his lips and swallowed hard.
Hesitating for a moment, Tong You stretched a furry paw out toward the pastries on the table. The instant his paw brushed the edge of the plate, Qilian snapped at him:
“Down!”
Tong You leaned his body backward with slightly bent knees, drooping his ears as he stared fixedly at Qilian without moving an inch.
Qilian said, “One.”
“Two.”
Seeing that Tong You still hadn’t reacted, Qilian raised his hand. Yun Ning hurriedly pressed down on his arm, smiling at him as she said, “Let’s talk this out, don’t resort to violence right off the bat.”
Yun Ning withdrew her hand from Qilian’s arm, turned around, and smiled down at Tong You. “Would you like a piece of pastry?”
Tong You glanced sideways at Qilian, then nodded at Yun Ning.
Yun Ning reached out, picked a piece of pastry from the plate, and handed it toward Tong You. His eyes flashed, his tail wagging happily as he scurried toward Yun Ning’s hand.
Tong You took a bite of the pastry, then tilted his head to rub affectionately against Yun Ning’s hand to show his gratitude.
Feeling the little fellow’s soft fur, Yun Ning raised a hand to stroke his head. “So well-behaved.”
[Go ahead, pet away, pet all you want.] I’m just a little furry beast right now, who cares about dignity?
Within a couple of bites, Tong You finished the pastry, licking his lips as he savored the lingering flavor.
“Would you like another one?” Yun Ning smiled.
Tong You nodded with a squinted smile. Just as he went to rub against Yun Ning’s hand again, Qilian scooped him up into his arms, prompting Tong You to kick his short little legs in protest.
“Eating one piece is enough, look how he’s fattened up into a ball.” With that, Qilian shoved Tong You back into his own embrace.
[Stinky Durian, let me go, ahhhhh!] Tong You wriggled desperately.
[I want to eat it, I want to eat it!]
Tong You braced his paws against Qilian’s body, sticking his rear high up in the air while curling his upper body as he tried to worm his way out from under Qilian’s arm.
Qilian pinned Tong You’s tail down: [Cut it out, once she leaves you can eat as much as you want.]
[Really?] Tong You stopped moving, but didn’t receive an answer.
“Would you like to pet him?” Qilian handed Tong You’s tail right out.
“Won’t he mind?” Looking at the fluffy orange-yellow tail, Yun Ning felt a little tempted.
Qilian smiled. “He won’t.” At the same time, he gave Tong You’s rear end a subtle pinch.
[Hiss, good grief!] Endure, endure, endure! Even the Ninja Turtles never had their butts pinched like this.
Tong You proactively extended his tail, gently wrapping it around Yun Ning’s hand.
Yun Ning: So soft.
After being petted for the better part of the day, Tong You was finally released. He lay flat on the floor with vacant eyes, quietly submitting to the baptism of the chilly air.
“Hey, are you still breathing?” Qilian walked over and gave Tong You a casual nudge with his foot.
Tong You wobbled slightly from the kick and gave no other response.
Qilian picked up a piece of pastry and sniffed it. It smelled rich, and the taste probably wasn’t bad; Yun Ning certainly put thought into it, but… He looked down at the paralyzed Tong You on the floor. “Out of breath? Well then, I guess I’ll just have to eat all of these by myself.”
??? Tong You snapped his eyes open, instantly flipping up from the floor. [Eat! You said once she left I could eat as much as I want!]
Tong You leaped onto the table and snatched the piece right out of Qilian’s hand. “Mmh mmh mmh, I’m serious, the stuff your love interest makes is genuinely delicious. When are you going to marry her and bring her home?”
Qilian raised a hand and flicked Tong You right on his little head. “All this food still can’t shut your mouth.”
Tong You shrank his head back as crumbs from the pastry in his mouth slid down onto the table, scattered everywhere. He blinked his eyes and shook his head, as the force was just right, leaving him dazed and bewildered but without any serious brain damage.
[Why’d you flick my head for? So heavy-handed, what if you gave me a concussion?] Tong You turned around and yelled at Qilian.
“Concussion?” Qilian looked puzzled. Though he didn’t know what that meant, he could roughly guess it was a symptom resulting from a blow to the head.
With a soft chuckle, Qilian replied, “If I were actually heavy-handed, your little head would have blossomed like a watermelon ages ago.”
[Give me another piece] Tong You raised a furry paw and pointed at the pastry.
“Fine.” Qilian picked up a piece of pastry and brought it to Tong You’s mouth. Tong You opened wide, tossed his head twice, and swallowed the whole thing.
“You’ve got some nerve, actually letting this lord serve you food.”
[No I didn’t, I only asked you to hand me one piece, you’re the one who insisted on feeding me.] Tong You played dumb.
Without a word, Qilian smiled and ruffled Tong You’s head. Seeing that he had finished eating, he asked, “Want more?”
[Yes] Tong You sat on his haunches, obediently waiting for Qilian to feed him another piece.
Hiccup
As a long, resonant hiccup echoed through the room, Qilian finally realized that Tong You had swept the table completely clean of pastries, leaving only tiny scattered crumbs clinging to the edge of the plate.
[Not bad at all, really delicious, though spirit stones are still the best.] Tong You lay lazily on the floor, exposing his roundly stuffed belly.
“Are you a pig spirit? How can you eat this much?” Qilian frowned and said.
Hiccup Another hiccup sounded, and Tong You felt completely relaxed in body and mind.
[What, complaining that I eat too much? If you can’t afford to feed me, why look for a divine beast to use as a medicine-breeding vessel?] Tong You’s head felt heavy as he squinted up at Qilian.
“When did this lord ever say I couldn’t afford to feed you?” Qilian felt a burst of exasperation. He was treating the little creature to fine food and drink, yet the ungrateful thing was calling him poor. Wait, what did he just say?
Tong You assumed a lounging posture, squinting sideways at Qilian: [Why are you staring at me? Is there a flower on my face? It’s all fur.]
Qilian looked at Tong You, his expression shifting repeatedly. The little guy had probably figured out his true identity by now. However, since he was still in his juvenile form without even the ability to protect himself, he was entirely at his mercy anyway. What did he have to worry about? He wasn’t abusing him, so why was this little creature acting all high and mighty?
He reached out and grabbed Tong You’s furry leg, dragging him closer. Terrified, Tong You rolled over onto his back, lifting his head: [What are you doing? I just ate, I’m completely stuffed.]
“I’ll help you massage it.” Qilian scooped Tong You up into his arms.
[No need, I’m afraid you’ll make my stomach explode] Tong You clumsily flipped over and tried to scramble away from Qilian, but his lower back was firmly pinned down.
Tong You slumped flat as his belly was squeezed uncomfortably: [I’m begging you, I ate way too much and it hurts.]
“What kind of ailment is this? Anyone who didn’t know better would think I haven’t been feeding you.” With that, Qilian rolled Tong You onto his side.
[Hehe, you fed me, but the pastries your sweetheart made were just too good, I couldn’t help myself and ate a little extra.] Tong You smiled with squinted eyes.
Qilian gently placed his hand on Tong You’s belly, tracing small circles. The bloated sensation gradually subsided, turning quite comfortable.
“Don’t go spouting nonsense from now on. I only think of Yun Ning as a younger sister.” Qilian pinched Tong You’s ear.
Tong You retorted immediately: [Oh ho ho, just a younger sister, that’s the number one lie I’ve ever heard.]
“You’re only a few months old, and you’ve already heard all these lies, have you?” Qilian gave Tong You’s belly a quick, slightly firmer massage.
Tong You kicked out his hind legs at Qilian: [I have evidence! She personally made pastries for you and you accepted them, you personally poured her tea and she took it, and there’s one more crucial thing]
Tong You abruptly cut himself off, looking at Qilian with a mischievous, fox-like grin.
Qilian was losing patience for the climax. “Out with it.”
[You grabbed me back to breed medicine for her sake, didn’t you?] Tong You grinned wickedly. Seeing Qilian’s lips part slightly in surprise, Tong You quickly added: [Hey, don’t bother explaining, I’m not listening.]
Tong You buried his head deep inside Qilian’s sleeve, drooping his ears to cover them up and pretending to be completely deaf.
“It is for her, that’s true, but I don’t harbor romantic feelings for her. I just feel…” Guilt? Gratitude? For a moment, Qilian didn’t even know what his own motivation was.
[See? Even you are doubting yourself now,] Tong You said, sticking one ear straight up.
“Anyway, I have no romantic feelings toward her whatsoever,” Qilian firmly re-emphasized.
[But she doesn’t think that way, and besides, mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph]
Qilian clamped his hand over Tong You’s relentlessly yapping little mouth: “Alright, shut your trap.”
“Children shouldn’t ask or meddle in adult matters.”
[Mmph mmph] Tong You shrunk his head back.
“Go play by yourself, this lord has affairs to attend to.”
Tong You was mercilessly pushed aside.
[What affairs do you even have? Didn’t you delegate all your affairs to your subordinates?] Tong You turned his head, but the hall was already completely empty of the man’s shadow.
[Damn it, sounds so nice, but you’re really just going off to take a nap. To think he’s a Demon Lord, does this world seriously not have any great immortal-demon wars?]