2:38pm Saturday - David
"Fuck, you're…"
I couldn't hear what else he said, but I know that voice.
"Aaron! Hi! Why are you here today?" I sounded like a twat, even thick as bricks Aaron would spot that something was up.
"Did I interrupt you hooking up with this cutie? Many apologies ma'am. I've been told I jump the gun, or in this case bust the door…heh, bustin'." Aaron had to be stopped, he could amuse himself for a whole hour with the sex euphemisms.
"Ahh, I wouldn't say that." I rushed back to the main room to check on how traumatized Gavin was…wait, did Aaron just call them cute? "This is just a friend." I gestured at Gavin and my brain seized up. I couldn't say Gavin's name but nothing else but his name was springing to mind. I didn't want to embarrass him, this was supposed to be my trial by fire and here I am: burning out. I didn't actually want to hurt my friends, even if we were now enemies.
"Grace." The creature that didn't look like Gavin didn't sound like him either. Something about them was different. Looking at them gave it away, they had a broad smile on their face. They must have been finding the confusion Aaron had to be amusing. I'd never seen them smile like that before, like they were having the time of their life.
Yep, that sets it in stone. Gavin…or should I say: Grace was my rival. She had stolen my chance at doing a test run of coming out to them. Though I was a little less keen to have taken their place knowing Aaron would turn up and ruin it for me. Grace, I could trust to be cool, Aaron had all the grace of a concrete filled baseball bat. I was surprised he hadn't managed to say anything too stupid yet. Calling Grace cute wasn't stupid, it was accurate. She was adorable. A worthy rival.
I just had to find a way to get Aaron to leave so I could challenge her to some other game and let her win and turn the tables.
"Ohh, you've got the dart board up, Daveo. You wanna learn how to play, Grace?" Aaron seemed only to notice the least helpful things today.
"Yeah, David was just schooling me." She said with a wicked smile is never seen Gavin wear. I felt like she was having fun at my expense somehow.
"Well, show us what you've learned. Take these…" Aaron walked over and plucked the green darts that were still there from Gavin's earlier flub. "And if you can hit the twenny, I'll do you any favours. If Dave's not been a gracious host I'll give 'im a right wack for ya." Aaron's hands dwarfed the darts as he handed them over.
Grace looked at me with a smile I couldn't fathom. Crooked and sharp, her whole face lit up as I saw her imagination come up with something worthwhile to play at her normal skill for.
She stood there, lined up at the throw line we had long ago taped to the floor, looked me dead in the eye…and without looking away threw the dart. It felt like several seconds passed and I couldn't work out what she had thrown, until I realised I was still staring at her. I broke eye contact and looked at the dartboard.
Triple twenty…where was that half an hour ago when I was counting on it?
"SCORE!" Aaron overplayed the reaction…if I didn't know better, I'd think he was hitting on Grace. But Aaron didn't have a horny bone in his body, not even the bone everyone thought was permanently horny. "So what'll it be? Lady's choice." Aaron cracked his knuckles and I swear I could feel the pulse of air as the sound reached me.
Grace was enjoying this. She had me dead to rights. She could say anything, have Aaron deck me, and then reveal the whole mix-up and lay it at my feet and make me look like a right pervert.
"Can I get…" She held the word for a while, pretending to think. "…your honest opinion about this outfit? David hasn't said anything about it, so I hoped I could get an unbiased perspective."
I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. This was still bad, but Grace didn't know why yet. I hope she didn't anyway. I hope she believed that I'd gotten outside help on her outfit and she wasn't just asking Aaron to be as thoughtless as possible and embarrass my efforts.
"Ahh, I can't get involved in a lovers quarrel. Daveo, you gotta pull your weight and complement the lady. I'm gonna pop downstairs and check in with Ruth, but if I come back in like ten minutes and she's still disappointed in you…we're having a chat." Aaron backed back out of the apartment, pointing between his eyes and mine.
Great, now I had to pretend I knew nothing about fashion. I can do this. Just need to channel me from three years ago.
"Well then?" Grace looked at me like I was some delightful chew toy she had discovered, I was not enjoying this as much as my amazing plan had devised.
"…you look…like a girl?"
"You will die a thousand terrible deaths if that is the kind of nonsense you're using on women you're actually trying to woo. And I would cheer for them. Do you want Aaron to turn your bones to pudding?"
"Aaron likes me, he wouldn't turn me to pudding."
"Wanna bet?"
Bet? Bet?! That's what got me into this mess. Actually…can I use that?
"Yes."
"What?" Grace is momentarily stumped and lost for words, I can see her trying to remember what she just said. But I can't let her take the momentum back.
"I'll bet you…" Fuuuck! I was sure I would think of something by the time I got here. "I can…" Anything! I just need any bet I can lose and turn this around. "Actually try and compliment your outfit and you'll approve." I'll just do the thing I was already going to do. "If you don't think it's good, you can just pay me the twenty bucks for the clothes and have to walk home in them. If I do a good job, you tell Aaron the mistake he made." Yeah, that seems safe. All I really need at this point is an out.
If Grace here just reveals herself to be Gavin to Aaron they lose all blackmail against me. And I know Gavin's broke, twenty bucks is more than I've seen him spend on himself any day of the week. I don't even need to do a bad job, there's only one possible outcome.
Either they for some reason wear that getup home and I gain more than enough blackmail leverage to prevent them saying anything about me to everyone else. Or they tell Aaron and the whole mess just becomes a bad joke we all tell at my expense and I slowly die inside.
Okay, I probably could have spent more time thinking about this.
"Deal."
Fuck. I really thought they'd think about that longer. I don't think I'm emotionally prepared to compliment my eternal rival I helped birth.
At this point, I've kinda got nothing to lose. I can always kill myself later, no one speaks ill of the dead, right? Might as well just explain my thought process on the outfit.
I'll turn and say this to the dartboard, I'm too embarrassed to say this while looking at Grace.
"Without your normal hat, your undercut contrasts well with the casual elegance of the outfit." Held my tongue to not use the word co-ord there. That would have given the game away. "The black dress hides your body's exact shape, but the splash of colour of the cardigan from behind where the A-line comes in really gives you a natural looking figure. Your long torso and legs also suit the elongated shape of the outfit and make you look taller than you already are, which for some people is a major selling point. Also, everyone looks good in black."
All I could hear in response was the tweet and parp of my background jazz soundtrack, but Grace was right here I should be able to hear her breath or shuffle about at least. Was she holding back laughter or something?
I turned around, and all I saw was the open door, a handwritten IOU for twenty bucks, and no Grace.