The twenty-seventh day of the first lunar month, just after the New Year holiday.
A thick layer of snow had accumulated on the windowpane. Looking out into the distance, a car was parked near the entrance of the village by who-knows-whom, buried so deeply in the snow that its color was unrecognizable—only its side mirrors stuck up on both sides, looking like a pair of exposed rabbit ears.
Wearing thick gloves, Lin Duole held a tightly wrapped styrofoam box filled with freshly cooked, piping-hot meals he had just made.
Holding the styrofoam box, he stood at the bus stop waiting for a ride. Flakes of snow drifted down layer upon layer, making a rustling sound as they hit the shelter roof.
After a long while, the No. 501 bus slowly drove up. Lin Duole blinked his eyes, brushed the snow off his felt hat, pulled two coins from his pocket, and followed closely behind the other passengers onto the bus.
This northern small town was always exceptionally cold in the winter. When the wind blew, it seemed endless, making the buildings by the roadside rattle incessantly along with the wind and snow.
Lin Duole got off at the county hospital. As soon as he arrived at the stop, he ran toward the building carrying his things, afraid that if he were a second too slow, the warm porridge in his arms would get cold.
“Lele, why aren’t you at school? Why did you come here?” The moment her son pushed open the door, Ye Wanqiu propped up her upper body with little strength, sat up, and asked in surprise.
“School just started, so there isn’t much going on.” Lin Duole set the styrofoam box on the bedside table and said nonchalantly, “Mom, I just made this, hurry and eat it while it’s hot.”
As he spoke, he handed the still-warm lean meat porridge to Ye Wanqiu’s lips. Looking at the lean meat in the porridge, Ye Wanqiu understood everything instantly.
In the past, the food brought to her was at best a few stalks of green vegetables mixed with watery soup; meat in the bowl meant that Duole’s grandmother was not at home.
Lin Duole had indeed run over here during the window of time when his grandmother went to visit relatives. His grandmother was always talking nonsense at home, saying his mom was about to die and definitely wouldn’t survive this winter—and even if she did survive it, she would die in the spring.
“Lele, go back. Go back and study hard.” After drinking the porridge, Ye Wanqiu felt a dull ache in her chest. Looking at her son, she remembered that he had lost his father at a young age, and because of circumstances during his father’s lifetime, he had been disliked by his grandmother since childhood. Now that she herself was bedridden, she feared it would be difficult for him to study properly in the future.
“I don’t want to…” Lin Duole couldn’t hold back his tears and began to cry. His black hair was soft, smooth, and almost shoulder-length.
Ye Wanqiu stroked her son’s hair, feeling guilty that the days she had been bedridden had gone on for too long so long that the child’s hair had reached his shoulders with no one to trim it. From a distance, paired with such a handsome face, this full head of long hair made him look almost like a girl.
“You still need to go study when it’s time to study. Don’t worry about things at home, and if your grandmother says bad things, don’t take them to heart.” Ye Wanqiu patted her son’s shoulder to comfort him.
Lin Duole blinked his large, tear-filled eyes and lay silently in his mother’s arms. He was only twelve or thirteen years old and didn’t understand why his mother always insisted he study hard, why his grandmother always said his mother was a jinx, or why the children at the village entrance always held such malice toward him.
The sky turned somewhat dark. Ye Wanqiu chattered about many things, and in the end, she could only urge him tearfully, “Go back early, don’t miss the bus. Remember to go to class obediently tomorrow and listen to your teacher.”
Lin Duole didn’t say anything. Watching his mother put the felt hat on him, he shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded sluggishly.
By the time he got home, the moon was out. The wind still blew relentlessly and wildly. Plastic bottles gathered in the yard were stacked in bags in front of the chicken coop, seeming to block the wind and snow for the chicks, while the salvaged jars and cans rattled constantly.
“You’re back? Is your mother’s health any better?” The old man sat on the threshold with a dark face, rolling a pipe of tobacco. He took two puffs in between speaking and couldn’t help coughing again, causing the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes to ripple: “I kept a flatbread warm for you in the pot. Eat it if you’re hungry.”
Lin Duole nodded at his grandfather and walked toward the kitchen. In order to keep his mother company, he hadn’t slept well the previous night; his face was a bit pale, and having not eaten all day, his lips were vivid red. Due to the dry weather, the skin around the corners of his mouth was peeling severely, making them red and painful from his licking, looking as if they were about to crack open.
“Eat, eat, eat! You only know how to eat! Not letting you go to school, and you took advantage of my absence first thing in the morning to take the family’s meat to feed that old hen in the hospital!” His grandmother had likely heard the conversation between him and his grandfather. She bolted out from who-knows-where, snatched the flatbread from his hand, shoved it into the steamer, and began pushing Lin Duole toward the door: “Nothing to eat tonight! Starve to death, you wasteful brat! If you ever dare take things from home to feed that hen while I’m not around again, see if I don’t break your legs!”
“Grandma, that’s my mom!”
His grandmother’s mouth was famous in the village for being fierce; she not only liked to spit everywhere, but she also loved to gossip behind people’s backs.
“So what if I’m talking about your mom?” The old woman put her hands on her hips, assuming a posture ready to spew venom, “Back then, if your dad hadn’t insisted on marrying a unwanted, shameless trash like your mom into this house, he wouldn’t have been jinxed to death! That short-lived ghost—who told him to leave so early! Leaving behind a filthy, foul woman and a drag like you in this house, what a pair of spendthrifts! Short-lived ghosts! The whole family is short-lived ghosts! What sin did I commit in a past life to be stuck with a bunch of ruined wretches like you!”
Grandfather sat in the yard smoking and sighing. In his youth, he had been a cable worker; during a high-altitude task, a mistake caused him to fall onto a tree. Luckily, he escaped with his life, but he was left disabled and unable to do any heavy physical labor. After that, all the dirty and grueling work in the fields fell on Grandmother. She had to cut grass to feed the pigs, go up the mountain to herd the sheep, and feed the chickens, ducks, and geese. All the household chores inside and the livelihood outside were hers alone. Grandfather was helpless, so he could only let her scold as she pleased.
The moon in the yard seemed to grow larger. The cold wind howled, and Lin Duole lay in a bed that felt as cold as an ice cellar on an empty stomach, feeling that such a bitter life was truly hard to endure, as if it would never reach an end.
After enduring another night, morning broke. The children in the village, wearing fluffy felt hats, rode their bicycles to school.
Lin Duole had to go to the town for middle school, as the village only had a Hope Primary School. The children from the same village rode past him on their bikes, but what he held in his hand was not a schoolbag, but a basket of pig feed. Walking in the opposite direction from the students heading to school, he was heading deep into the mountains.
“Lele, why aren’t you going to town to study? Why are you walking toward the fields?” Auntie Li from next door was clearing the snow from the roadside with an iron shovel when she asked Lin Duole.
“My mom is sick. I have to help Grandma with farm work, so I won’t go to school for now.” Hearing Auntie Li’s greeting, Lin Duole stopped in his tracks and replied, “When my mom gets better, I will definitely continue studying.”
Auntie Li was very familiar with his grandmother and understood their family situation well. Looking at Lin Duole, she stepped forward, patted his shoulder, sighed, and said: “Good child, your mother will definitely get better. Don’t blame your grandmother either, it isn’t easy for anyone, but at your age to study, you should still study properly.”
Lin Duole had always been an obedient, good child. He had a gentle temperament, little temper, and didn’t speak loudly; even on the rare occasions when he was pushed to frustration by his grandmother’s scolding, he only flushed red and defended himself with a sentence or two. The sensible adults in the village all said this child truly broke people’s hearts with pity.
“Go home first and clean up, you need to attend classes properly.” Auntie Li said with a sigh. After all, she couldn’t meddle in other people’s family matters, but skipping school just to save a few coins was ultimately not a good thing. “Good child, you are built for studying. Going to university in the future will be far better than farming in this village. I’ll go talk to your grandmother later.”
More than one person had told him such things—saying he was built for studying, that he had to study hard, and that he needed to get into a university.
In the mountain ravine, the snow began to melt. Beside the cracks in the rocks, elephant grass was scattered everywhere by black mountain goats; some had withered just as they sprouted, while others weathered the cold wind, yet failed to survive the harsh winter, turning yellow and dry. Unlike rice or wheat, which were specifically tended to by people, these grasses were unmonitored, like useless weeds, left to sprout in the spring and endure the wind and snow through the harsh winter.
At the foot of the southern mountain stood a house made of straw. A man who looked extremely rugged lived there. His face was dark, as if smeared with coal, and his stature was very short. The wooden posts around the house stood crookedly, and the villagers always took a long detour around this place when passing by, taking another path instead.
Rumor had it that the man living here had been bitten by a rabid dog. Because he didn’t get vaccinated, he contracted rabies, after which he disowned all his relatives and possessed immense strength. Everyone in the village was afraid of being bitten when they saw him, so they could only detour around him.
“Duole, don’t be afraid.” Cai Huayan hung her head and looked at Lin Duole with a bit of embarrassment, “That’s my dad. He won’t bite people wildly like the village says.”
Hearing her voice, Lin Duole snapped back from his absent-minded thoughts. He wasn’t afraid; instead, he carried a sense of calmness. He understood all too well that no matter what shocking rumors spread across this land, none were enough to make him feel fearful or astonished.
“You must have heard the aunties in the village gossiping too. They said my mom gave birth to me, abandoned me to my dad, and ran off with another man. My dad couldn’t take the anger and chased after her into the mountains late at night, only to be bitten by a rabid dog. He didn’t get vaccinated in time, and that’s how he went crazy.”
Cai Huayan looked at the man not far away who was still hammering wooden stakes, and continued: “My grandpa rode a tricycle to accompany my grandma to the county town to see a doctor today, so they could only tie my dad up first and let me watch him here.”
The wild wind blew through the straw on their roof, making a howling sound.
Lin Duole sat on a rock and asked softly, “When your mom left, did you feel sad?”
“I don’t know, I was still young back then.” Cai Huayan looked at the boy in front of her, who was the same age as her and shared a similar plight, and smiled: “By the time I knew about it, I actually didn’t feel much.”
Perhaps life was just like this from birth; she was used to this kind of existence, so she had adapted early on.
“Actually, my aunt secretly told me that my mom was a college student back then who was abducted and brought to this village. She didn’t run off with another man; she just never belonged here in the first place. My aunt also said that human effort can achieve anything, and told me to study hard first so I can leave this place in the future and go develop in a big city, rather than living a bitter life here.” As Cai Huayan spoke, she couldn’t help wiping away a tear. “But I can’t even continue my studies, so how am I supposed to go develop in a big city?”
It was Lin Duole’s first time seeing a girl cry. He looked left and right, felt his pockets, but couldn’t pull out a piece of tissue, so he could only comfort her helplessly: “Believe that we will both find a way to keep studying, and you will also go develop in a big city in the future.”
“Really?” Cai Huayan and Lin Duole had been classmates for all six years of primary school. Lin Duole had always ranked first, and she followed right behind him. The two had never become rivals because of grades; instead, certain similar circumstances had made them very good friends.
Cai Huayan was deeply swayed by his words and went on to ask him, “What about you? Do you think the same as me, that you want to go develop in a big city in the future?”
Speaking of the big city, Lin Duole had never thought about what kind of place it would be. Having lived his whole life in a world facing the dirt with his back to the sky, the only slightly prosperous place he had ever seen was the county hospital. He knew the world he lived in was completely different from the world described in books—here, people worked at sunrise and rested at sunset; people here only talked about crop harvests, cattle, sheep, chickens, and ducks. They didn’t understand what had happened on this vast and boundless land thousands of years ago, didn’t care about today’s global landscape, didn’t know what wonderful uses physics and chemistry had in daily life, and naturally couldn’t imagine what kind of extravagant, decadent lives people in tier-one cities lived.
“I think I will. We will all have the day when we go to a big city.” Lin Duole didn’t know where his confidence came from, but even though his opportunity to go to school was being stripped away right now, facing such a question, he still spoke with firm, resounding conviction.