The pain in my heart returned after what felt like an eternity.
Once, this agony had been unbearable enough to confine me to my bed—but not anymore.
It felt like proof that I'd truly returned to the past, and even that brought me joy.
"If it hurts, tell me anytime. Don't just grit your teeth and bear it alone."
My mother's warm hand settled on my back. The moment her warmth reached me, hot tears welled in my eyes.
The parents I had so desperately wanted to see again were alive, breathing right before me.
That alone felt like compensation for every hellish moment of my past life.
There was so much I wanted to say, but I offered the one thing I'd longed to tell them most.
"Thank you."
My mother paused for a moment, surprised, then resumed patting my back.
"This is the first time you've been this affectionate since you were a baby. Grateful? We're the ones who should be grateful—for holding on so well despite all the pain......"
In my previous life, I'd been older than my parents were now.
But it seemed even an old man became a child again in front of his parents.
Still, after clinging to her like that for several minutes, the atmosphere turned awkward.
I lay back down in bed, pulled the covers up to my nose, and quickly changed the subject.
"I'm hungry."
When you're sick, you typically lose your appetite.
I'd barely eaten enough to keep my ribs from showing through my clothes, so it was no wonder my parents' eyes went wide.
"Oh— is the head chef in today?"
"I'll make it. Our boy loves braised short ribs, so I'll do those."
"Sounds good."
Watching them hurry out, a smile came to my lips naturally.
At this point, I could die without a single regret.
***
"You've been smiling a lot. And crying earlier, too. They say when a person changes so suddenly, it means they're about to die......"
After finishing a meal with my parents and returning to my room, Julian came to visit.
"Die? Who's dying?"
Dying without regrets was just a figure of speech—I had absolutely no intention of dying.
No. In this life, I won't let anyone die.
"I was joking. But you really are alright, aren't you? I was shocked when I came by this morning. You were sleeping with the most agonized expression on your face."
So Julian was the one who'd reported my pain to my parents.
The memory of Julian fighting for his life on the night the North fell flashed through my mind.
Pale skin, brown-tinged hair, a handsome face—on closer inspection, marked with several scars.
Now I understood how hard he must have trained while I was wasting my days away.
"Thank you."
The people I want to protect obviously include you, Julian. At my words, his expression twisted.
"You really aren't about to die, are you? I never imagined I'd hear Lord Lumio say 'thank you' to me......"
"I told you, no."
Well, I couldn't blame him for the misunderstanding.
Until just yesterday, I'd been whining about how much everything hurt.
'Time to change.'
I couldn't afford to waste this second chance that had come like a miracle.
While eating with my family earlier, I'd checked my body's condition.
First Circle, as expected.
Unlike my previous life, where I'd swallowed whatever elixir I could find, the flow of mana was remarkably clean.
'Good.'
I closed my eyes and focused energy into my hand.
My soul remembered the magic I'd learned in my past life.
[1st Circle Magic: Refresh]
Green mana gathered in my palm and slowly enveloped Julian's body.
Julian, startled, patted himself down.
"What is this?"
No answer was needed. He could feel it for himself.
"The pain in my shoulder......"
I'd noticed him moving his shoulder stiffly and guessed he was injured.
It was a low-level spell, but it could handle minor bruises and strains.
"Better now?"
"Y-yes...... Is that healing magic?"
When I nodded, Julian asked again.
"I heard only clerics can use healing magic. You must have a talent for it, Lord Lumio!"
Half right, half wrong.
There are six elemental affinities in magic.
Water, fire, wind, earth, lightning, and light.
Mages who possess the light affinity are typically called clerics.
But I was a rare constitution that could wield all six affinities.
That was also why I'd been able to reach the Eighth Circle so quickly in my previous life.
'Probably because of this illness.'
The moment I used magic, a crushing pain seized my heart. I reflexively screwed my eyes shut.
'But remove this one drawback, and there's no better ability than this.'
"Are you alright?"
"......This much is nothing."
Compared to the past, when I'd fired off spell after spell while enduring the agony and scraping by on cheap elixirs day after day.
Well, it was precisely because I'd abused my body like that that I'd reached the Fourth Circle in only ten years.
And it was the accumulation of that damage that ultimately kept me from ever reaching the Ninth Circle I'd so desperately wanted.
Starting from the day the North fell, the invasion from another nation would begin. That war was so brutal that even an Eighth Circle mage couldn't stop it.
Over the course of decades, countless people died.
I'd only watched. I had no one to protect, and no power to protect them with.
But not now.
My family, Julian, the people of the territory—all of them were still alive.
'Please survive, and someday, rebuild the North for us.'
I resolved to fulfill that impossible request.
To do that, getting my body in proper shape came first.
'But if their sickly son suddenly announces he's going to train, my parents will stop me at all costs.'
I pressed a finger to my lips and spoke.
"Keep it a secret from my parents that I can use magic."
To catch both rabbits, I needed Julian's help.
My one and only friend was always good about granting favors.
"Understood. I don't want to worry the Lord either. Just don't push yourself too hard."
"Don't worry. You know me—I hate pain more than anything, remember?"
Julian let out a quiet laugh. My own lips curled up in return.
'This time, I'm going all the way to the Ninth Circle.'
And.
'I will protect the North, no matter what.'
To achieve that goal, there was one thing I absolutely needed.
"Remember that stone tablet on the trail we used to walk? The one in the mountains?"
"I do. It was sitting right there in the middle of the slope. I thought it was someone's grave, but it wasn't."
Just as I remembered.
***
The North's razor-sharp wind slapped me across the backside as it passed.
Even without monsters or war, the territory was a brutal place to make a living.
Trees withered in the cold, and not a blade of grass was in sight.
Most people survived by hunting or through craftwork and smithing, selling their wares to a trading company that came once a month.
"Ow, that stings. The bleeding won't stop."
Among the hunters returning from a successful hunt, one man had a deep gash on his arm.
"At least today's hunt went well. We almost went hungry again."
They spoke as though going hungry was routine.
"Was the territory always in this bad a shape?"
"Supplies coming into the North have been cut since this year. But a trading company should be arriving soon, so we'll manage."
In other words, while I was throwing tantrums over my meals, people were starving.
I let out a deep sigh and extended my hand toward the wounded man.
"Refresh."
My mana wrapped around the man's arm, and the bleeding stopped.
Anyone incapable of wielding mana couldn't perceive it, either. He'd never imagine I had anything to do with it.
"Lord Lumio, isn't it?"
I'd tried to slip past after casting the spell, but someone grabbed my arm.
At those words, the others who'd been grilling meat looked up.
"It really is!"
"What brings you outside?"
If the territory had had more funds to spare, their welfare would have been better.
Knowing they were going hungry because of me, the words caught in my throat.
Just then, one of the people sitting by the campfire held out a skewer of beautifully roasted meat.
"Try one. We just caught it—the meat's at its best."
"Is it alright for me to take this?"
"Of course it is. But since when do you use polite speech?"
"Hey, you can't offer Lord Lumio this kind of meat!"
When I hesitated, the man with the injured arm waved his hand dismissively.
"It probably won't suit your palate. You don't have to eat it."
The reason I'd hesitated wasn't that I didn't want it. I was wondering whether I had any right to take their precious food.
"......I don't know how to cook, so forgive me if this is rude."
"Not at all."
I tore into the skewer heartily and added:
"It's delicious. Really—thank you."
"Well, look at him go! Got any more cooked?"
"Hahaha, who knew our young lord could eat like this!"
The North's harsh environment meant the townsfolk had no choice but to stand together. The bond of enduring hardship as one was the North's greatest strength.
These were the people who'd risked their lives to save mine. I'd accept their kindness with gratitude and repay it tenfold.
"Wait, wait—that's too much. Julian, you eat some too!"
"Then I won't hold back."
We spent a good while sharing dinner with them. They even offered us drinks, and I nearly forgot my original purpose.
After politely declining, we headed back toward the stone tablet on the mountainside. Climbing the slope, I was winded in no time.
"This body...... breathing's so hard that I've got no stamina."
"Want to rest for a bit?"
"No."
We'd already taken enough of a detour. I didn't want to waste any more time.
I needed to confirm whether that tablet was really the Mage Tower.
The closer we got, the harder my heart pounded—though this time, with anticipation.
All through my years in the Mage Tower, I'd wondered.
'Was what I saw as a child in the North really a Mage Tower? What would have happened if I'd realized what it was back then?'
Fantasy had become reality. Now that I could finally scratch that maddening itch, how could I possibly stop?
"Then climb on my back."
"Huh?"
Julian scooped me up effortlessly and hoisted me onto his back. Even for him, carrying a person up a mountain would be no easy feat.
"I'm fine. You don't have to."
"You used healing magic again during dinner, didn't you? I saw everything."
"......I couldn't just sit there eating without doing something."
It wasn't just the man with the injured arm—others had been in rough shape, too.
"You're hardly in good shape yourself, Lord Lumio. Why do you push yourself like that?"
A few casts of First Circle magic was nothing. I was managing my condition just fine.
"A lord's son can help when his people are hurting...... don't you think?"
I couldn't see clearly from my position on his back, but Julian seemed to be smiling.
"I'm simply doing my duty as your guard. Now hold still."
"Alright, alright."
Come to think of it, back when the Mana Reflux symptoms weren't so severe, Julian and I used to play around like this all the time.
My nostalgia was short-lived. We reached the tablet's location in no time.
"Here it is."
I brushed away the sand and placed my hand on top. Please let this be real. I squeezed my eyes shut and channeled mana into it.
But nothing happened.
"No luck......"
Last time, the ground had shaken and a building had risen from the earth. This time, not even a tremor.
Disappointment made me crack my eyes open—and there, hovering before me, was a blue message.
- Insufficient mana to activate the Mage Tower (minimum 3rd Circle required).
Despite the rejection, I couldn't stop the laughter from spilling out.
"Haha......"
Third Circle? That's not a problem. I was an Eighth Circle Archmage, after all.